¶
Geordie Shore is back in Newcastle.
Home sweet fuckin' home.
[cheering]
They're back with a fuckin' boom!
¶
Get it!
Christ!
[vomiting sounds]
¶
[yelling]
[cheering]
C'mon!
¶
And bam!
I said shut the fuck up!
Fuck, Marnie's back!
Scott's taking off, world war 19.
Don't argue.
You just need to start sorting yourself out,
putting bros before hos.
She's standing, dancing by herself, and I'm starting to
feel really awful about it all.
Scott can't have all his own way.
I can't trust her as far as I can throw her.
¶
Mitch is here!
But he could've turned up sober.
The kid's fuckin' smashed!
Their first impression of him is that he's a massive,
fuckin' bellend.
I never, ever wanted it to end this way.
[theme music]
I should have a degree in pulling women.
I am a Geordie girl, with a V.I.P. edge.
I'm a natural beauty, real boobs, real hair.
Get me into this house, 'cause I'm gonna tear the place up.
I've never kissed anyone without a six-pack.
The hardest graft I've ever done is doing me hair.
I'm fit, I'm flirty, and I've got double F's.
Geordie Shore, way ay!
¶
I can't believe last night.
I can.
Me and Gary are just having breakfast, and we just feel so
bad about what happened last night.
Mitch was an absolute prick.
I can't believe how much he actually upset Charlotte
in the club.
Like, obviously, he was drunk, right, he was absolutely mortal.
Ok, that is not an excuse to fuck with anyone.
He started calling everyone fucking idiots, so I called
him an old coots.
That fucker.
Honestly, at one point I was going to fuck him up.
Apparently, that relationship is getting one-sided.
Charlotte's came all the way to London, all he's gotta do is
be nice, and he can't even do that.
I can't believe that she chosen him over us.
I know Charlotte would be gutted about what happened last night,
and I just hope that she does come back, explains to us what
went on, and then we can move on.
¶
Me and Mitch are in the park, and I'm still angry about what
happened last night.
Mitch, you do realize how drunk you were.
No, I weren't that drunk.
Yeah, you were.
[laughing]
No way.
Mitch, I couldn't even calm you down.
Like, you were flinging us around like a yo-yo.
But what makes it worse, is Mitch can't remember anything.
One minute, you're saying you loved us, and the next minute
you're saying you didn't want to be anywhere near us.
Everyone is gonna probably hate Mitch now, and not want us
to be with him.
And I just look like a complete mug.
Well, everyone probably thinks I'm a right dickhead,
didn't they?
And I think Holly was a bit angry, so I'm drive
and go back there.
[birds chirping]
Well, tell Holly I'm sorry, won't ya?
I can't face seeing the others yet, I need to go home and
I'll see them back at the house.
I need to prepare what I'm going to say and really
think about things.
'Cause I love ya.
I'm glad.
I'm glad your love is mine.
¶
After everything that happened last night, I forget that we now
have to go rock jumping.
I don't understand why anyone would want to go the top of the
building, and walk down it.
That's just fuckin' plain stupid.
This is 47 meters of tower.
Here, watch Colin do a demo.
Oh, yeah.
Oh God, oh God, oh!
Oh my God!
[screaming]
No way!
[screaming]
Oh my gosh!
That looks unreal!
That looks so good!
[laughing]
That guy's going no!
Rock jumping is my bucket list.
I'm gonna show everyone how it's done, and dive down this
building like a fuckin' swan.
You feeling sick looking up at this?
Ah.
Ah, man, I can't do that one.
There's no chance I'm doing this rock jumping.
I'd be sick all over meself, and whoever was below us.
Holly's not doing it either, 'cause she hates everything.
Oh my God, it's so high!
I cannot wait to hurl meself over the edge.
Gaz, on the other hand, looks like he's gonna fuckin' cry.
Don't worry, kid, we'll paint your nails later.
¶
I can't watch, I honestly can't watch!
Going down!
I'm running down a wall, for fuck's sake, and it
feels fucking mint!
Woo!
Oh my God!
Let's do it, man, let's do it.
Nah, nah, nah, nah.
Come on!
Go on, Gary!
[laughing]
¶
Oh my God!
Shit, Scott's done it.
Gary's done it.
There's no way I can't do it now.
You got it, Marnie!
I'm just hanging here, like a puppet,
looking like a fuckin' twat.
This is sweet!
[laughing]
Thank fuck the rock jumping's over, and now I just hope that
when we get back to the house, that Charlotte's gonna be
there waiting for us.
¶
I'm on me way back to Newcastle, and I'm so worried about
seeing the others.
I need to phone me mom.
She knows best, moms always know what to do.
Everyone back at the house is going to be talking about it.
Saying that he's an asshole.
I just, I don't, I can't be bothered.
It's going to be made into such a big deal.
[sniffling]
I hope, more than anything, Holly forgives us
and she understands.
Because I don't want her to be mad at us, and I definitely
don't want her to think that I chose Mitch over her.
Holly's already said stuff, mom.
And now I've gotta go meet them and they're all gonna be like,
I hate him, and I don't really want to hate them.
¶
Me mom's reassuring us, and that's gonna be fine when I go
back and see the others.
I just hope she's right.
[footsteps]
¶
I'm on the settee, and I can hear the car pulling up,
and I'm literally so nervous.
¶
They walk in and they come straight over to us,
and give us a hug.
And I don't know why I was ever so scared.
Oh, Char, I love you.
Oh, shit.
Are you all right?
Thank God Charlotte's there.
I know that she's really upset, but at the end of the day, her
boyfriend acted like a dick, and all I was trying to
do was protect her.
[crying]
I'm sorry.
It's all right, it's all right.
I'm sorry.
It's always hard for me, watching Charlotte cry, 'cause
it used to be me making her cry, but I could make it okay.
When someone else is making her cry, it kills us.
Like, I know what he did was bad, and I'm not making up
any excuses for him, 'cause he was just an idiot.
But, I just don't want youse all to hate him.
[crying]
The last thing I want is for them all to think bad of me
relationship, 'cause I do really love Mitch.
And I really wish things had gone differently.
¶
[phone ringing]
Oh, God.
Hello?
Hi, Holly.
Hi, Anna!
I've got a job for you.
So Anna's rang, and she's telling us we gotta work at
the Bucking Bronco, and I hate her.
[laughing]
You gotta work with anyone?
[laughing]
You.
No!
You.
[laughing]
Ahh!
Anna calls and says me, Holly, and Gary are at work.
I just hope that Mitch isn't brought up, because I can't be
bothered to fight in his corner any more than I already have.
¶
Lately, I've been rushing to drink, so tonight I'm gonna stop
in, and watch The Notebook.
Ok, I'll do what you do.
I'll, I'll try and pull someone.
[laughing]
¶
I do like Scott, he is a nice lad, but he doesn't even
know where his head's at.
So how am I supposed to know?
¶
Goodbye, everyone!
[arcade game noises]
¶
[dance club music]
I pick the perfect job, helping the girls get their leg over
the bucking bronco.
So in other words, I'm just looking at their
fuckin' knickers.
Weasel.
[dance club music]
I know for a fact, it's killing Charlotte about what happened
last night with Mitch.
I am still gonna be there for her, and I just want to make
sure that her and Mitch are actually okay.
Gary's telling us that he didn't like seeing us upset, but that's
just rich coming from Gary.
He made us like that for two years, and he was an ass then.
I know Gary will be loving this.
He's loving the fact that me boyfriend treats us bad.
I hate it.
If anyone, I wanted to prove to Gary that I was fine,
I was happy now, I was totally over him.
¶
So me and James get to Tup Tup.
I'm just fuckin' buzzing that I'm not at work.
¶
James telling us that he's surprised I didn't stay home
with Scott, but Scott wouldn't do that for me.
[dance club music]
I still don't know what's going on between Scott and Marnie,
'cause one minute they're both saying they like each other,
and the next they're saying they want to get on
with other people.
I've had enough of it.
[dance club music]
We're still at work, and I can hear Holly and Gary
talking about Mitch.
I'm standing right here.
Yes, yes.
I feel like Charlotte's put a lot of pressure on herself with
Mitch, because she wanted everything to go so perfectly.
But, he shouldn't have went on like a dick, and that's not what
I wanna see for my best friend.
For fuck's sake, I've had enough of this!
Everyone's acted like a drunken dickhead before, why are they
still slacking off Mitch?
Thankfully, work's done.
Now, it's time to hit Tup Tup and have a good night.
¶
Everyone's here now, so it's time to get mortal,
and have a fuckin' mint night.
¶
We're in the club, and me mind's on Mitch.
Me head's not in this.
I just can't stop thinking about anything else.
I honestly didn't think Charlotte would come back, after
what happened with her and Mitch, but I'm pleased she did.
I just hope she doesn't beat herself up over it.
Holly's still talking about Mitch,
and I can't deal with this.
I can't stay here when everyone's slacking off me
boyfriend, and I know they're not gonna stop.
¶
I can't stay in this house, with everyone saying horrible things
about him, it just kills us.
[sniffling]
I don't want to be the girl who's got a horrible boyfriend,
and I don't want to be the girl who has to sit there and listen
to them, and know they're all talking about us behind me back.
¶
I feel so torn between everyone in the
Geordie Shore house and Mitch.
I don't want to leave them all, but I just can't have them talk
about someone who I care about so much in bad ways.
¶
[dance club music]
Where's Charlotte gone?
Looking around, I can't see Charlotte.
She's literally just disappeared from the club.
So Marnie comes over, and she's telling me that Charlotte's
still really upset, because she thinks that everyone's
still slacking off Mitch.
And then I start to feel like maybe I've said something to
upset her, and I just hope that's not the case.
Fuck this, we need to get back to the house,
and find out what's going on.
¶
I don't know whether I can ever come back to the
Geordie Shore house.
I'm writing the note because I want, more than anyone,
Holly to know that I haven't left her by herself.
'Cause I feel so guilty for having to go, and I just
hope she understands.
¶
I finally thought I was happy.
The last thing I want is for them all to hate me,
and I really wish things had gone differently.
¶
We need to get back to the house, and find out
what's going on.
Why would she just, like, we're at a club, and not tell any
of us where she's going?
¶
I get back to the house, and there's this letter.
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
[crying and sniffling]
What's wrong?
[crying and sniffling]
[inaudible]
She's gone [crying and sniffling].
[sniffling]
No one in that house has a fuckin' clue how devastated
me and Holly is.
Charlotte, literally, is my soul mate.
For her to leave, I'm terribly lost.
Holly, you are my best friend, and please don't think
I'm choosin' Mitch.
I just need to go to be with him.
I feel like, [sniffling] like, I'm partly responsible for it.
I just can't believe she's just gone.
Where's Scott, did he not try and stop her?
Scott's probably asleep in there.
¶
I can't believe Charlotte's actually left.
Scott was in the house when she was leaving, and if he
was awake, he maybe could've stopped her.
¶
I feel like Charlotte loves Mitch so much.
I am being selfish, wanting her to be there,
but she's my best friend.
I feel completely heartbroken.
¶
It does go through my head.
What if I got with Charlotte?
What if I could have made her the happiest girl
in the fuckin' world?
It keeps replaying over and over in my head.
What if?
[crying and sniffling]
¶
So I've woken up in this massive room this morning,
and I'm completely by myself, and Charlotte's not here,
and I'm just absolutely gutted.
She just disappeared?
We came back and she just left a note.
She just disappeared.
Mm hmm.
So Marnie's woke us up, and tells us Charlotte's left.
I'm must have been flat asleep, because if I'd had woke up,
I would've stopped her.
I still can't believe that last night Charlotte left, and now,
it's just the five of us.
Oh, fuckin' hell.
Cock?
Just feeding the chickens.
I feel like Rachel and Elizabeth are really, really sad right
now, because, they're looking around for Charlotte,
and I can tell that they miss her.
I don't know how much I'm supposed to feed them or
anything, she didn't leave me any guiii, guidelines.
It's only two days left, we tryin' to end it on a high,
do you know what I mean?
We'll try.
Yeah.
Make the most of it.
¶
Marnie still hasn't had the chance to meet Kate,
so we're all gonna go to the beach together.
A little double date.
[laughing]
Awww, that's, that's good, a double date.
Aye, I've got a little double date.
Aww, I'm happy, I'm excited to meet her!
So James is trying to call this a double date.
Hold on a minute, mate, not everyone's got a ball and
chain around their fuckin' ankle, like you do.
¶
Hi!
Hello, hi.
[ocean waves]
We got a little couple's day out, now.
[laughing]
¶
So me and Kate are absolutely smashing
Scott and Marnie at volleyball.
Guess who's the new dream team, bosh!
¶
So, are you gonna pull tonight, or not?
Nah.
I do feel like if Scott doesn't pull a girl tonight,
I might put out.
Will you rub some aloe on me back, please?
I'll do, I'll, I'll put oil on you in bed.
Lube [laughing].
So Marnie's asking me to give her a massage on the beach.
Knowing how good I am, I'll probably make her squirt
all over the fuckin' shore.
All over.
That's too much!
It's not, Marnie, are you all right?
That feels really nice, though.
Ah, ah, it's all over you, Marnie.
No, it feels nice.
[laughing]
[kissing]
[laughing]
Fuck!
[laughing]
¶
Lads, I need your help tonight.
Tonight, I want Scott all to meself, so I'm gonna ask
James and Gary to help us.
It's operation, win my Marnie.
I don't want Scott to pull.
Right.
Ooh!
And I've got, I've got a feeling he's goon to.
Gary, you should just talk to every single girl
he tries to, like, pull.
I'll cockblock 'em.
Cockblock the fuck out of him.
That's just what I want to do on my night out.
Dedicate it to Marnie and Scott.
Do you think I should just tell him how, like, amazing I am,
and how much better I am than these girls he's pulling.
I do that anyway, wouldn't I, Marnie?
So Gaz is gonna cockblock, and I'm gonna big Marnie
up to Scott.
Like, I think I might put out before we leave the house.
Aye?
That's if, that's if he doesn't pull.
Fuckin' hell.
So all of his hard work might pay off?
Right, it might all pay off.
Because I do like Scott, still, and if he doesn't pull tonight,
I might put out.
¶
Yay!
[laughing]
¶
Aww!
Wooo!
So, we're playing beer pong, but instead of beer,
we're using tequila.
This is gonna only end up one way.
Fuckin' mortal.
¶
Tonight, we're hitting Bijoux, and I know that Charlotte's not
there, but she would want me to have fun, get mortal,
and have a good time for her.
[dance club music]
If somebody had told me that it would just be me and Marnie left
at the end, I would've told 'em to go and fuck themselves.
¶
Right, it's time to get operation wingman
Marnie in action.
[dance club music]
So everyone's bangin' on about me and Marnie.
It's fuckin' scrambling me brain.
I just wanna get smashed and see what happens.
¶
So, I'm talking to Gary, and we both agreed that the
plan is going well.
Scott isn't talking to girls, so so far, so good.
[dance club music]
This wingman thing is never gonna work, 'cause Scott is
scared about admittin' he likes Marnie.
He just wanna used the lad title, and not gonna pull.
[dance club music]
So Scott's talking to girls, which means that James and Gary
have failed miserably.
Looks like me and Holly are gonna have to get involved,
and do all the cockblocking ourselves.
[inaudible]
¶
I'm still not sure whether shagging Marnie is a good idea,
'cause she'll bladely fall in love with us, and it'll
definitely make things complicated.
¶
So the girls have left, and Scott didn't pull anyone.
It looks like operation wingman Marnie was a success.
¶
[screaming]
¶
[belching]
I've had a good night, I'm absolutely mortal, and I feel
like right now, all I need is me bed.
[laughing]
I need a girl's advice, and the closest thing I've got to
a girlfriend is James.
That's fuckin' weird.
I don't even know how to answer that one, like.
[laughing]
Marnie's talking to us like I'm one of her fuckin' girlfriends.
I haven't got a clue what's she talking about,
or what I should say.
¶
So Scott didn't pull tonight.
If he can do the same tomorrow night, there'll definitely
be a happy ending.
¶
So me and Marnie end up spooning most nights.
Tonight is my last night.
I wonder if she's gonna stop being frigid, and except
the fuckin' length.
¶
So tonight is the last night.
We need to look amazing.
So me and Marnie are goin' shopping and get something nice.
¶
Like, you do know that the last night's a family night, so.
What's that mean?
Like, the lads can't pull.
The girls can't pull.
I wasn't gonna pull anyway.
You're allowed to pull each other.
So Holly's telling us that it's the last night in the
Geordie Shore house.
Which therefore means it's family night.
I'll stick to that plan, if Scott does as well.
We found stuff.
Yeah, I was gonna get these three.
Nice.
So I've spoke to Marnie about family night,
and she completely gets it.
There's no pulling, and that is final.
I just hope that the boys get it, for once.
¶
[doorbell ringing]
Hello!
So it's our last night, and Anna turns up.
She havin' a fuckin' laugh.
Hello.
Hi.
You'll be pleased to know it's the last job of the summer.
Oh, you mean we're working on our last night?
Yes, it's for all three lads, okay?
So Anna's come in, and she's telling us that the boys
have to go to work tonight.
Usually we're all together, as a family,
big massive family night.
And now she just completely fucked it up.
And, you will be wearing these.
It's non-negotiable.
¶
Because it is a chance to be taking yourselves.
Oh, get the fuck off?
Is that a thong?
You can wear it in the limo.
You're fuckin' kidding?
It gets worse.
She wants us to wear a thong.
I mean, if she wanted to see me ball sack,
she should've just asked.
I can't believe Anna would dress 'em like tits, and get him sent
to work, and on our last night.
Bye!
I was gonna say cheers, Anna, but, eh.
[laughing]
¶
You wearing yours?
I don't know, will it fit?
It's a medium.
[laughing]
There's no way I'm gonna fit my choad in that tiny thong.
'Cause I'll get donged for packing pure heat.
How are you meant to wear it?
Like this!
[laughing]
All right, ladies.
[inaudible]
I'm wearing this thong, but Scott's being a pussy, and
James' ass is too fat.
Cock [laughing].
Do you wanna sniff these ones, like you did with Marnie's?
[laughing]
What?
James.
Oops.
[laughing]
What the fuck?
Scott's been sniffing me knickers?
The scruffy twat.
What?
What's happening?
¶
To the fuckin' lads!
To the lads!
Me and the lads are pumped up and ready for work tonight.
¶
We get there and it's a 25th birthday party, buzzin'.
We need to show these girls a good time.
[cork popping]
[cheering]
It's a birthday, we're gonna get fuckin' smashed, have a good
night, and we're gonna make a cock straight in the face later.
[screaming]
Cheers!
[cheering]
¶
Scott didn't pull last night, so tonight is definitely
in with a chance.
[laughing]
So I'm shaving me fanny for Scott.
It's had no attention for ages.
And me mom said, always be prepared.
So Marnie is dry-shaving her fanny, in the room,
right next to me.
And like, I don't think I can really deal with this right now.
What about the bumhole?
[sighs]
So me and Holly are glammed up to the max, our last night.
A shot of tequila, and then we're out the house.
To the last night, and to your shaved fanny not going to waste.
Blaah!
¶
This bus has been absolutely fuckin' mental.
This time, these girls hittin' to go, and let the
party games begin.
¶
[dance club music]
Scott and Gaz are now firing ice into each other's mouths.
I think it's time we leave, before they both end up
neckin' on with each other.
¶
We've shown these girls an absolute amazing time.
But it's time to get outta these outfits, hit the club.
[screaming]
I think we might be a little bit pissed.
Christ.
¶
Me and Marnie are in the club, waiting for the boys to arrive,
so that the family night can begin.
¶
I'm so happy that Holly's telling us that I'm part
of the family now.
Because at one time, she never thought she could
see that happening.
But now, I'm over the moon.
[dance club music]
So we finally get to the club.
It's my last night.
It's time to kick off, and get fuckin' mortal.
[dance club music]
So I'm in the club, and Scott's avoiding us,
and I'm dancing on me own.
I don't know what's up.
[dance club music]
So I see Scott, and he's talking to girls.
I fuckin' had enough.
[dance club music]
Marnie, I thought I explained family night to you earlier,
and you just don't seem to be getting it.
Just because Scott's talking to girls, doesn't mean
you have to rise to it.
You just make meself look like a fuckin' mug.
[dance club music]
Just 'cause these birds are all over me, Marnie has got
desperate, and goes and necks on with some other lad.
Craic on, kid, he's nothing compared to me.
[dance club music]
So Scott's kicked off.
Fuckin' hell!
All this, over a girl.
We've never seen this side of Scott before.
Scott hasn't got the brain or the balls to actually pull off
banging Marnie.
It's not happening.
So Marnie is just trying to fuck with me head.
I just don't want to trust her again.
My head is completely battered, so fuck it, I'm off home.
[dance club music]
So Scott's ran away because he saw Marnie kiss another boy.
Like, what the fuck?
Okay, go home to your mommy.
[dance club music]
I look over at Gary, and he's necking on with this girl.
And it starts to sink in that there's nobody left in this
house who actually cares about the family.
And I'm completely alone.
So Gary comes over 'cause I'm crying, and I'm like, what are
you doing, like, you don't actually even want to be here.
You'd rather be over there, neckin' on.
¶
This is just a complete fuckin' mess, and all I wanna do
now is just go home.
¶
So much for family night.
¶
Like, I wanted us to be a family.
I wanted, if, I was gonna get with anyone,
it was going to be Scott.
Then I seen him talking to girls, and I thought, you know,
eh, if Scott's doing it, I'm gonna do it.
And then he fuckin' walks out!
I don't give a fuck about anyone right now!
This isn't a family.
Everyone, seriously, fuckin' do what you're all giving me
a bastard fuckin' headache.
¶
So I get home, and all I wanna do is just go straight to bed.
Everyone else in this house is so selfish.
All they care about is pulling, or getting one over on each
other, and that's not what family is.
They actually don't give a fuck.
Holly storms off, Scott's not even here.
At least Marnie's a frit.
We get in the hot tub, we're getting pissed, and we're
gonna have a laugh.
Gaz and Marnie are in the hot tub.
Marnie has been saying she's after a bang on her last night,
and Scott's not here.
So Gaz'll have to do.
And we all know he won't say no.
¶
When you're smashed, and the girls in underwear,
it is tempting.
Resisting Marnie is one of the fuckin' hardest
things I've ever done.
Everyone knows how much I love girls.
This is so frustratin'.
I know, it's very frustratin'.
I wouldn't do that to Scott.
And even I fuckin' realize how much of a good friend
I actually am.
[water splashing]
¶
I'm so hung over this mornin'.
Last night was absolutely terrible.
I was completely on my own.
This whole family night just didn't even exist.
Oh my God, so.
I'm fuckin' ill.
Last night was a total fuckin' disaster.
It wasn't family night, at all.
And still Scott isn't anywhere to be seen.
You were cracking on with some lad, Scott was rooting
up woman pigs.
[laughing]
The only reason I pulled that lad was because he was try,
trying again with the girls.
[inaudible]
So he can just fuck off.
Like, I don't know what the future holds for me
and Scott now.
I'm absolutely gutted.
I thought that the last night would be about me and Scott
finally getting it on.
Today, I do like one, one last bucket list thing, just fuckin'.
What is it?
I can't tell you what it is, but, it'd just be mint.
I'm actually gonna be sick.
[laughing]
¶
It's our last day, and I'm not leaving here without
everyone being happy.
So I'm ringing Scott, and I'm getting involved.
[phone ringing]
Hello?
Aye aye.
Mate!
So I call 'em, he can't remember a thing.
He was too pissed.
But now, everything is fine and dandy.
Get ready, and then.
It's our last day, and I went and pulled something
right out of the bag.
I've chartered a luxury yacht to cruise down the Tyne.
¶
All right, everyone.
And this, is the fuckin' bad boy!
What the hell?
Oh my gosh, look!
It's like a million pound yacht!
This is.
[screams]
I'm actually quite happy about it.
Like, it looks amazing!
This might actually be an okay end to this whole disaster.
Anchor up, full steam ahead!
Please, can I press the button?
Whas that?
Horn.
Oh, go on.
[horn honks]
Oh, fuck!
¶
There he is.
[laughing]
Shock!
Scott comes bouncing over, like Tigger with a stick up his ass.
This is fuckin' sexy as fuck. Where the fuck did you go then?
Oh, yeah, I'm so sorry now.
This time around has been absolutely a head fuck.
I've been back at my house, just up the shore from the fuckin'
Geordie Shore house.
Maybe I need to stop doin' off every time there's trouble.
I didn't even see you!
¶
Scott walks up, pretending that he can't remember anything
about last night.
I know why he pissed off.
'Cause Marnie pulled another lad.
I really can't remember, like, anything.
Surprise, surprise, Scott's came back with a fuckin' smug
smile on his face.
If he thinks he's getting away with it this time,
he's got another thing coming.
Right away, aye.
We only got this for one day, so we're gonna blast out the time.
Go to the beach, go swimming in the sea,
and fuckin' fresh ourselves up.
It's our last day.
¶
After last night, I want to make sure Marnie isn't angry with me.
I want to smooth things over, and make sure she's all right.
I just want to leave whatever we've had, 'cause this
isn't going anywhere.
This is a fuckin' head, head fuck, really.
Scott won't change for anyone.
All he cares about is being number one member of
the dream team.
I do actually like you, like, you're a lush girl,
and I think you're mint.
It's just, your actions, I just can't deal with them.
After everything what's happened, I was never
going to trust Marnie.
She plays too many games, she flirts with me mates, and I'm
not gonna muck myself up by getting into a relationship.
Let's just agree to be friends, and nothing more, from now on.
[laughing]
No more flirtin', nothing like that.
Aye, sound.
That's fine by me.
I am gutted that me and Scott didn't work out,
because I did really like him.
But if we can't be together, I'm hoping we can be friends.
¶
I'll have some lobster, like.
Oh, it stinks!
Oh, ew!
[screaming]
Hold my cork, Scotty.
[laughing]
Whoo!
After last night, I genuinely thought the family was broken.
But the yacht idea, we managed to piece it all back together.
And I'm gonna be sad to say goodbye.
[inaudible cheering]
It's been a chore, but it's been mint.
[screaming]
[water splashing]
[laughing]
The yacht was an amazing idea for the last day.
But now it's back to the house, pack our shit, and fuck off.
It's all over again.
¶
Today, on that yacht, we were all having such a good time, and
it seems that nothing can break us, and we have actually
come back as a family.
[wheels rolling down stairs]
One more.
[wheels rolling]
¶
Packed.
¶
Oh, okay, it was quite the mint this time.
See you later.
Bye.
Boys.
Sweet.
The best thing this time around, for me, by far,
was the whole bucket list.
[screaming]
[water splashing]
¶
Have some of that fuckin' water, you bellend.
[screaming]
Oh, I've got one, I got one!
[laughing]
[airplane engine]
Hey!
I'm shitting meself!
He's so excited!
I'm flying!
[screaming]
Whoo!
[water splashing]
Whoo!
This time around, it's been fuckin' mental.
There's been loads of highs, loads of lows, and loads
of drama, but I love it!
[car engine]
You off?
Yes.
Oh.
I always miss ya.
Miss ya.
[laughing]
¶
So me and Holly have been through a lot of
shit in this house.
I'm just pleased that at the end,
we've finally sorted it out.
I think it's a fuckin' miracle.
¶
Yes, I am intimidated.
She's fuckin' gorgeous.
¶
So Marnie and Scott are kissing in front of me face.
¶
I'm watching Marnie's hanging gamon being slapped
around Gary's face.
Everyone's fuckin' kickin' off.
Oh, oh shit!
¶
She goes, or I fuckin' go!
She's just came in and fuckin' ruined it all!
I told you to shut the fuck up!
It's my birthday!
[cheering]
¶
[laughing]
Bull's in, I'm over the cockfight.
¶
We may have had our ups and down, and we have gone through
a lot, but even though I say I hate them most of the time,
I am sad to be going.
¶
I knew that leaving the Geordie Shore house was gonna be hard,
but I didn't realize quite how hard it would be.
¶
[screaming]
Gary is really good looking, but I'm looking at Scott,
and it's making us get funny feeling already.
¶
I just want to whip my kegs down, and pee blast her.
It's like a snake!
¶
She's a massive flirty slug, with really long,
confusing hair.
[yelling]
I ain't coming back.
You little slut!
Fuck!
Marnie's back!
You stupid little scumbag!
I'm not gonna let them girls push us out.
She's standing, dancing by herself.
This is us making up.
I am so embarrassed and humiliated.
¶
I've finally been accepted as part of the family.
I can honestly say that I've enjoyed every minute of it,
and I wouldn't change it for the world.
Now I look back after all the drama, I think, next time.
Dream team back!
Full on.
So me and Gary ended up arguing over a girl.
That's never happened before, and it should
never happen again.
She just fucked you off with your best,
so called, best friend.
This is the most tested mine and Scott's friendship
has ever been.
Do I look weird, kid?
What?
¶
I've gotta fuck another girl.
¶
The sucking crown is back on my head.
¶
He's on the verge of losing me, and getting a fuckin' slap.
Hopefully I don't knock him out.
Scott's taking off world war 19.
¶
[door crashing]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
You just need to stop putting bros before hos,
otherwise you're gonna end up with no mates.
¶
We're all good now, and the fuckin' dream team lives on.
[ppppptttttt]
Fuck me, that was mint.
¶
[cheering]
We're gonna get mortal, Chuck!
¶
You're in for a treat!
¶
Well, at least we had an amazing night.
¶
[laughing]
[crashing down]
Get him!
[laughing]
¶
[water dripping]
Standard crap.
¶
[vomiting sounds]
Egg's dead.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust!
Oh, my, it's cold!
¶
[cheering]
[door closing]
¶
[theme music]