Australia was one of the best times of my whole entire life.
¶
I got stuck right in the bush, and I spent
half me time downing her.
Australia was amazing.
There was drinking, there was shagging, there was everything.
Look out!
Ahh!
[Lamb's making noise]
More drunkness, more vodka, just more everything!
[Cheering]
It was fight after fight, after all humans.
You stupid little prick, Vicki was tashing on
with everyone in sight.
In a word, incredible.
There was make-ups, there was break ups, there was tears,
what the fuck is going to happen this time?
Geordie Shore is back in New Castle.
Proud to be fucking home!
[Cheering]
We're back with a fucking boom!
¶
We're going to go fucking beserk.
Get it!
Ah!
C'mon!
She's a slut!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
A new bird, whose single, and ready to mingle.
Oh!
I would not want to be a new girl walking in to this house.
She's younger, good crack, and she's got a wicked ass.
More fights.
[Indistinct yelling]
More bunga.
¶
More sex, bring it on.
You fucking shit yourself?
I should have a degree in pulling women.
I am a Geordie girl, with a VIP edge.
I would never kiss anyone without a six-pack.
I'm going to get into this house, and I'm going to
tear this place up!
I could talk the back legs off a donkey.
I'm fit, I'm flirty, and I've got double F's.
The hardest graft I've ever done is doing me hair.
I'm back in New Castle, back in my hometown,
and to top it all off, I'm single.
How do you think it's going to be this time?
This is the first time I've been single for years.
Geordie boys, watch out.
¶
Did you actually think you could meet some nice boys?
I don't want any boy; I've got cock fright anyway.
I've probably still got a slight touch of cock fright.
Well, have you ever had cock fright before?
I think I brought it back with me from Australia.
Don't really ask me this question!
This guys' lovely!
Yes, he's a lovely boy, and he's great.
I'm back in the fucking war zone.
Leave then you ass hole!
These guys cleaned up in Australia, but the Geordie girls
are in for a treat, because we're back in New Castle.
Everything is mint between me and Cass- and yes, she's still
the luckiest girl in the world.
Love you.
Love you too.
There's only one, scrawny little problem.
And, that's Gaz, we're not friends, and I don't really
want to speak to him.
Back into my house.
Well, I'm sure we will see you again.
My grandpa is a legend; he always gives the best advice.
He said don't leave it too late to get into a relationship.
Watch what you're doing.
He don't want me walking around, looking for a girlfriend,
with a fucking walking stick.
Nice to see you.
I hope Charlotte is in a good mood and I think she will now,
because she's got a boyfriend.
Oh, oh, oh, oh my god!
Scrambled, Egg and Toast were so pissed off that I left them
for so long in Australia.
Oh okay, I smell the fish in your car.
Ready to go.
Me and Charlotte, we've got boyfriends, but I always had
one and guess what?
Me and you should be in a relationship.
And, I'm not going to let the Geordie Shore house,
or Gary, fuck it up.
Are you okay?
Amazing.
Bye guys!
[Horn beeps]
Ahh!
Let's just relax, have a laugh, and we get a tash on,
we get a tash on.
¶
Hello!
Are we the first ones here?
We're home!
This is probably one of the first times, I'm actually at the
house, and I'm looking forward to seeing everyone, I'm even
looking forward to seeing James.
Should we get a drink?
Yup!
You can have wine?
No!
Vodka?
And, we get to start drinking before everyone else.
You made that really strong.
No, it's not that strong.
Only problem is, the only thing to drink out
of are fucking mugs.
What the fuck!
We look like we're having a fucking mud ass meeting.
Me and Holly go out to the garden and we notice that
the "shag pad" has had a bit of a remodel.
Oh, it's got fairy lights in it?
With in about two days, that room is going to have chlamydia.
It's just going to get full of cum.
Massage in a bottle, state of ecstasy or rapture,
what's rapture?
Rapture is like when you're into something.
Not rupture?
No, that hurts.
¶
Oh my God, do you hear a car?
Yes!
Who do you think it is?
Gary.
You think its Gary?
That's something new.
God.
I hear voices.
Hello?
[Laughter]
What's going on?
So, Gary and Scott walk in, and I'm looking at Scott thinking,
would I want to go there again?
Is he giving me fizzy knickers?
I walk in the house and the first two people I see is Vicki
and Holly, both half cut, drinks waiting, that's right, I'm home.
Everything changed?
Ah-ha-ha!
Executive shag pad.
Where's the boys room?
Yeah, that's the boys' room, now Scott.
This room has actually eight beds.
There's one new person.
So, we've worked out that there's four beds in the girls
room, and four beds in the boys room.
How it, even I know that four times four equals eight.
So, who the fuck is the plus one?
What you do, if it's a girl, and they come in,
and they fancy James?
Ha-ha-ha, that's mint.
I wouldn't know how to handle it; it'd be so funny.
Would you be more like if a girl came in and fancied
James or Scott?
It'd be funny, if she fancied James, it wouldn't be funny for
her if she fancied Scott.
You kind of got dibs.
Yeah, I've got dibs on him.
So, I was in my house, and I was talking about like me
finding a boy or not.
And, she was like, oh I think Scott's dead nice, and I was
like well that- so I just thought I would tell you, blow
your trumpet a little bit.
Ah-ha you've already done that.
It's always weird coming back in this house,
it holds so many memories.
But, fuck it; it's time to make some new ones.
I'm independent and strong on my own, that's my thing.
Right, good.
Join my crew.
Oh God, I'm not quite on your level.
I'm an independent man.
No, you're not, you're a slag.
I'm absolutely buzzing.
I can't wait to get in and see everyone.
And, get absolutely mortal.
Hello?
Hello!
Hi!
I thought it was going to be awkward between me and Gary,
but shock, he's acting like nothings even happened.
[Horn beeping]
Woo-Hoo!
Yeah!
Sophie and Charlotte!
All of a sudden we hear a fucking noise outside,
and I knew it was Sophie and Charlotte.
So, we decide to hide from them.
Whoa!
[Cheering]
Charlotte's walked in with her fucking fish; I don't know which
box smells worse, the fishes or hers.
Cheers everyone!
[Cheering]
So, we've got the whole squad, back in New Castle,
and we're going to do what Geordie's do best,
and that's get fucking loose.
Fuck!
Oh!
This is so cute!
I'm really worried that I'm going to start to miss Mitch too
much while I'm in the house.
So, I've brought something to remind us of him.
Close your eyes.
Oh my goodness, I'm so interested.
Surprise!
[Laughter]
What type of bony, boiler, belland gets a fucking picture
of their fucking boyfriend printed on their pillowcase?
Looks like he's in the bed.
I hope Mitch knows what he's letting himself in for.
Poor kid is probably changing gag somewhere, waiting for her
to get back.
Oh my God, I live with a psychopath.
Which little fucker is sleeping here?
Everyone thinks it's going to be a boy, but I don't know,
it might be a girl.
I'm hoping.
I'm thinking, if a girl walks in that door, and she's skinny,
pretty, what the fuck am I going to do?
Let's put bet on!
Boy!
It's got to be a boy, there's only three boys in this house,
and four girls.
I think a boy, I think two birds.
No!
Never, never.
We're having shots, we're having a laugh, there's eight beds,
someone new has got to walk through that door.
[Group yells in sync]
One last shot!
And, that could ruin all this!
[Cheering]
¶
I'm Marnie, I'm 20, I'm a natural beauty, real boobs,
real hair, and a really good ass.
My only motto in life, is have no regrets,
and live everyday like it's your last.
How do you feel babe?
I'm a little bit nervous about Sophie, but she's me cousin,
she should be happy.
I don't know how she'll feel about me coming into her
Geordie Shore family.
How do you think everyone else is going to react?
I'm part of her real family, so we'll just have
to see the reaction.
You're beautiful, beautiful fresh meat.
[Doorbell rings]
Because I'm Sophie's cousin, everyone knows who I am.
I just really hope that pleased to see us.
Hello!
Oh!
What the fuck is she doing here?
Fuck me; this is going to stir things around a lot.
What the hell?
[Group laughs]
Her ass is hanging out.
Oh my God.
Classy.
It's me baby cousin, Marnie.
What the fuck is she even doing here?
¶
Hello.
It's Marnie.
I'm freaking out, my baby cousin's here.
Am I supposed to protect her, what happens if people saddle
up, what happens if she has an argument?
I'm not going to split up away from the girls, I don't know,
so many things are going through me mind.
I can't believe me little cousin's here.
If it was me, I would feel a bit like, this is my house.
I'm in chuck.
I'm buzzing to have Marnie in the house, she's good crack,
and she's also fucking nuts, she'll be a perfect
addition to the Geordie Shore house.
So, Marnie looks like she's getting really close to Scott.
And, she looks a little bit flirty with him.
All swap with the middle bed and you know, you're near the girl's
room, so you can just hear them.
No!
You can sandwich between me and Gary.
I'm sleeping with one of them.
No!
By coming in here straight away, and flirting with the boys in
front of the girls, this is a recipe for fucking disaster.
I don't really know which way to turn, I've got Gary on me left,
Scott on right, I'm loving it.
Yes, I am intimidated, she is fucking gorgeous,
and I can't compete with her.
Hey, hey!
To Marnie!
I don't know how the other girls, are going to take to
Marnie being in the house, I recon they might get jealous,
because she's younger, good crack,
and she's got a wicked ass.
I'm a nice lass, I thought you'd be happy to see us.
I'm buzzing.
Marnie's nice.
She's a lovely girl.
I'm not disputing her.
The fact is, she's Sophie's cousin.
Fact also is, she's a new girl coming in here.
This makes things awkward and difficult, and different, okay?
That is my baby cousin, and is practically me sister,
and I'm just going to have to stick up for her.
You've got me that's fine, but the thing is,
they're going to be bitchy --
Everything's going to change, everything's going to be
stranger, everything's going to be a different dynamic.
Marnie's arrival definitely put Sophie in an awkward position.
Marnie is already flirting with the lads.
I've got the nicest ass --
I think mine is better.
Turn around, get a look.
Oh shit.
Marnie will fit in this house like a hand or a glove.
I'd love to get with Marnie, but it's a mate of my ex girlfriend,
also is Sophie's cousin, and the amount of shit I would get in
because of Charlotte it isn't worth it.
Don't get us wrong, Gary is really good looking but I'm
looking at Scott, and he's got these amazing blue eyes.
Out of 10.
It's making us get funny flirty already.
I love them, I love them.
So, Marnie is getting really close to Scott, and I'm
thinking, oh this is a bit awkward, like, me and him
used to flirt sometimes.
Looks like he's got another girl now.
At the end of the day, you're just going to go off and
do what you want?
[Indistinct flirting with each other]
if Scott sleeps with Marnie, that would be like, her having
my sloppy seconds.
And, I wouldn't be having it back.
You enjoy what you want, but I'm not saying, I'm obviously
not going to be jealous because I would.
If Marnie gets with Scott, it's all going to kick off.
To be honest, it's dangerous for Marnie to come in the house and
get with any of the lads.
One, two, three cheers!
It's the first night, back in New Castle, and I'm
hitting flirty eyes.
Hay Hoo, Hay Hoo!
I'm not going to smash it, and hopefully Marnie as well.
¶
So far, so good.
There's no bitching that's going on, if it's like this for
the rest of the whole time, I'll be buzzing!
¶
I can see that Marnie is getting sexy trying to get on Scott,
because she's putting her bum where his willy is, and she's
grinding on him, and that is not going to happen under my nose.
So, I'm talking to Sophie, and she's trying to warn us off
Scott, but I'm always going to do what I want.
Me and Charlotte are having a laugh,
and we're kind of flirting, shit.
She's got a boyfriend.
What's a crack, Gaz is all over Charlotte.
And, she's got a lad, they're both mortal drunk, and
they need to be careful.
So, Vickie happened to go to me, telling me not to pull Marnie,
what's a crack there?
She must be after Charlotte as well.
I don't want anything to happen between them, because yes it
is stepping on my toes.
And, I thought as a good friend that Scott is, he would be a
little bit more respectful about one of his good friends
in the house.
Why's everyone kicking off me?
She's the one who's came on to me.
It's not my fault she fancy's this.
Charlotte is so fucking pissed; she's obviously forgot that
she's got a boyfriend.
I've got to take her home.
I've got to intervene, I've got to stop this, I just don't want
her to fuck stuff up with Mitch.
Charlotte, Charlotte.
I'm absolutely smashed, and shocked I have to go
home first again.
C'mon baby.
I've got you.
You need to be strong.
Otherwise you're going to break Mitch's heart.
Vicki thinks that Gary now knows that I'm in love with Mitch,
and wants to change that.
I'm still too drunk to even know what's going on.
¶
So, we get back, and we're absolutely fucking hammered.
It's been a decent first night.
We're back, aye aye.
Charlotte, Charlotte let him have it, let him have it.
This is yours.
It's less calories for you.
Me and Charlotte are running around the kitchen, having a
laugh as friends, everyone else panics, thinks we're flirting,
and breaks it up.
That's yours, that's a nice little bite there.
Charlotte?
I want a word with you mate.
Charlotte and Gary are flirting.
Gary is me friend, Sophie and Vicki need to take a chill pill.
We're finally in a good place where we can just be friends,
and just like anyone else in the house, we're having a laugh.
Get over it.
Are you all right?
So, I'm back at the house, there's tension between me
and Holly, she's ignored us all night, I just want to
clear the air now.
What's the crack with you and Scott?
Umm, nothing.
There's no crack, obviously, when there's no one else we
get with each other's minds, that's it really.
Holly is clearly bothered about me and Scott, she's trying to
make out, and put on a front and say she's not, but her
face is saying it all.
I'm not saying that if you got with him, I wouldn't be jealous,
because I would.
Okay.
Like, it's a girl thing; do you know what I mean?
Yeah, I do.
So, the ball is in Marnie's court now.
Like, I've told her everything how I feel.
You know how I feel about it, you act upon that.
Yeah, okay.
If she did actually getting with Scott, it would just be
completely disrespectful towards me.
I did actually think that I liked Scott more than anything.
Okay, well Sophie --
I'm hearing everyone outside, talking about us.
I can see you looking.
It doesn't matter how many people are trying to tell me and
Scott not to go there, we both fancy each other,
it's just going to happen.
Yo, yo, yo, you okay?
So, I go into Marnie's room, and I'm just going to give her a
shitty kiss goodnight, so if she does want to snuggle.
Scott is a really good kisser, I give him a 10 out of 10,
and it's made me fancy him even more.
We're all in the garden, and all the while, the only two people
who are missing from this situation is Scott and Marnie.
Let's go, let's go, this isn't right.
I'm trying to fucking help you, you're on shit.
And, I'm sorry, I might look like a cock block, but I
couldn't give a fuck because it's going to be me who has to
pick up the fucking pieces when Marnie fucks up everything.
I don't really care what they think; I've got what I wanted;
now I'm going to bed happy.
I told you, I felt at the right moment, I didn't wait for it,
I didn't wait till after, and then be like ohhh.
Right now, I'm really fucking angry about it.
I told you exactly the right fucking time.
Well, you told me something, which wasn't relevant.
And, I know that Marnie is skinnier, and that she's
prettier than me, and that's obviously the reason that
he's going to go for her.
When people are gorgeous, then I'm going to do it.
Okay, Scott, well that's just fucking childish as fuck.
I don't know.
I'm absolutely naggered.
It's a good job he didn't stay the night,
because I started spewing over.
Eventually I put me self to bed, and on the corner of my eye,
in comes Charlotte, steps to the bottom of me bed, falls off,
drops her pants.
Everyone knows me, I pull me pants down, on the occasion I
was probably going to have a wee on the floor.
Mitch?
I'm called Gary, but your boyfriend's called Mitch.
Yeah, he's a really nice lad.
You can have some.
Not only did Charlotte just call me Mitch, she just said, okay
Gary you can have some.
I'm not entirely sure what that means, but Charlotte go to bed.
Ow!
¶
What the hell!
The first night she gets here, she's already tashing
on with people.
It's the morning after, and all the girls want to do is
bitch about Marnie.
I don't fucking no what's going on.
Last night she was asking me about Scott, and I'm like I'm
telling you now, if you did get with him, I would be jealous.
She actually said to me, that she fancied Scott
more than Gary.
Obviously, I can't say anything.
You can though.
I just don't get it.
I feel like Marnie is going about this the
completely wrong way.
Like, the first thing she should've been doing is trying
to get in with the girls, not going for boys who got
history with girls in this house.
Everyone picks something they always want to do,
almost like a bucket list.
I want to ride the motorbike.
I want to do something new, and different and interesting.
I want to get everyone together and make a bucket list;
it's going to be amazing.
I want to learn how to fly a plane.
I want to be fired out of a canon into a lake.
You do that.
There's pure load of the things on my bucket list.
Get fired out of a canon into a lake, and find a Loch Ness
Monster and fuckin' chin it.
So, I've decided that I want to expand my mind, and I want
to be involved in MENSA.
[Giggles]
I would like to have chickens, like live ones.
To lay eggs?
So, Charlotte is saying that she wants to get some chickens, she
does have a few things in common with them, like pissing and
shitting everywhere.
So, is that everything?
Yeah.
I don't know whose got more chance of doing what, Holly
getting into MENSA or Scott meeting the Loch Ness
fucking monster.
Hi, ah, is this the chicken line?
My bucket list suggestion is going first, it's up there with
the best, it's main priority.
It's underway right now!
I was wondering, if you have hens that we could come and see.
So, I'm ringing the chicken line.
We're going to come down soon and have a look at them.
So, we'll see you soon.
I'm so buzzing, me and the girls get to pick up the chickens
today, that means first thing, tick tock, off our bucket list.
So, we get to the chicken farm, and there's chickens everywhere!
Chicken on the left, chicken on the right, chicken in the front,
it's meeting us, want a Cindy dinner?
Have they got big brims?
They're not as daft as people think they are.
Ahh!
Don't scare them!
[chicken noises]
So, Charlotte's got a chicken, and we need to name it.
What do you want to call her?
Rachel.
Right, now Vicki it's your time to catch yours.
I can do this.
It's chicken time!
I am absolutely atrocious at catching chickens.
I don't want it.
Charlotte on the other hand, is exceptional at
catching chickens.
Oh my gosh!
Quick!
Chicken time!
It's going to be funny, it's going to be funny.
I'll let you call this one.
We decided to name the chickens, Rachel and Elizabeth.
I don't know why.
I can smell chicken shit.
If it smells like that, in the box, then what the fucks it
going to smell like in the house?
That's what I thought.
So disgusting.
I'm never going in the garden, it's going to stink constantly.
Oh my God!
[Gagging]
Like I've got the gas like going in me face.
It smells like pure diarrhea.
I feel sick.
Shh, we've got to sneak it.
So, we get home, we're racing Rachel and Elizabeth to the rest
of the house, and the boys are buzzing to see the chickens
because they know it's full of protein.
[Gobble noises]
Oh my God, I almost, I almost got it!
Charlotte's got a bit carried away, she seems to think,
to know the chicken, she has to be a chicken,
so she's eating worms.
I can't believe, Charlotte just put one of them worms in her
mouth, but then again, she sucked Gary's cock,
and that's riddled with worms.
¶
Oh, gather round people, gather round.
Aye!
Hi!
Anna's here, and she's about to tell us what our jobs
are going to be.
So guys, Geordie Tours is back.
Aye!
I'm sure enough; we've got work tonight.
Girls, Sophie, Vicki, Marnie, it's a bar call,
theme is tashing on.
Hey!
I'm not bothered about going to work, I like bar crawls and
I fucking love tashing on.
So, this is right up my street.
[Cheering]
You got to have the curtains matching the carpets, Sophie!
Oh, but it's not going on down there.
Chug, Chug, Chug!
Next bar, next bar!
Everyone's starting to get drunk already.
And, we're going to feed them with more alcohol.
Oh!
Sophie is the worst hostess.
Not only has she knocked the drinks absolutely everywhere,
she then tried to wipe it off the table into the glasses,
and give it to our clients.
Anna would fucking kick off if she would see her now.
Why is Vicki trying to tash on with me cousin Marnie?
Now, Vicki even fancies her too.
I'm really getting on with Marnie tonight.
I think she's fun; I think she's lovely,
I think she's a nice girl.
I feed her thoughts and do her a favor and warn her,
stay away from Scott.
I don't know what Vicki's problem is, trying to warm
us off Scott, she needs to butt out.
Tash on, next destination.
So, we're moving on to the next bar, and it's starting to look
like we've done too much of a good job.
Oh!
You all right, you all right?
Tash on, Tash on!
We're in the last bar, and we decide, this is the perfect time
to draw mustaches on each other.
Excellent idea.
¶
Where's those baby wipes?
Well...
If a girl is living in our room, has a suitcase, leaves it wide
open and me and Scott are around, we're obviously going to
check her thongs and give it a sniff.
Eh.
Fucking weirdoes.
Fucking nasty.
Charlotte leaves her pissy, shitting, knickers lying around
all the time, they never seem to sniff them.
To be honest, I don't massively know Marnie, but after me
telling Scott that, I felt that he should've had a little bit
more respect for me.
All we can talk about, is how Marnie kissed Scott last night,
after everything was said, she still went and kissed him.
She's pretty, she's skinny, why wouldn't I be jealous?
I don't really feel like Marnie even wants to be
friends with us.
You think I can worry about it, being like, well nothing's even
happened, and you're putting it in my head, I was like, because
I'm telling you before something does happen,
I'm telling you how I feel.
Marnie's upset, my friend, who does she think she is?
She's not going to get by easy in this house, if this is the
way she's going to go on.
The end of the day, he was my banker.
Banker?
[laughter]
And there is no fucking way that I would ever go
back there again.
Just hope she gives a good sucky.
So, tonight we're smashing House of Smith, I might come home with
Marnie, or I might come home with another bird, I'm a single
lad, who fucking knows.
Yeah!
¶
The tunes are absolutely banging, I'm getting smashed,
and where the fuck is that new bird,
because I want neck on with her.
The tunes are absolutely banging, I'm getting smashed,
and where the fuck is that new bird, because I want
neck on with her.
Here is a lad that used to pull with me every single night in
Australia, even pick me, and bang more birds, and now his
inner virgin's come out and he's savin' himself for Marnie.
I'm so hung over, Charlotte looks like a twat, I've a face
like a slapped ass, and I just hope it gets better when
the girls get here.
Woo!
So, Sophie, Marnie, and Vicki walk up, looking like they've
had a mint time at work.
And instead of Marnie coming over or trying to make an
effort with the girls, she straight over to Scott.
Mine turns up, looking daffle most trashed on her face,
I still like her though, the rest of her looks wicked.
Marnie hasn't got anything against Holly, Marnie literally
fancies Scott and that's it.
I care more about Holly's feelings then I do Scott's cock.
So, him and Marnie want to dance with no pants, they're certainly
not going to get my fucking blessing.
I don't know why Vicki bothers given Scott advice,
he doesn't listen.
So, I'm talking to Scott, and straight away I can feel Holly's
eyes burn a hole in the back of me neck.
Oh God cuz, stop it please.
Everything is starting already.
I can't be bothered by this confrontational drama.
So, I tell Marnie how I'm feeling.
I can't believe Sophie wants to leave because of me and Scott,
I think she's being a bit of a drama queen and acting well
over the top.
I've had enough of this, I just want to go home and
stuff my face.
So, Charlotte and Holly have decided to go home and a bit
honest, I can't blame them.
At least now, they've gone, we can actually have a good night
without three boring faces staring the shit out of
us all night.
So, Marnie has asked me to go outside for a chat, and I know
by chat, she means neck on, I know your game.
I just hope that no one seen us kiss Scott.
Literally the minute before we leave the club, Scott talking to
Marnie, Vicki's with James, and I've learned to get some friend.
When you're single, it does get lonely, and you do want girls to
come back just to cuddle ya.
I've never been Gary's biggest fan, but I don't want anyone
to say that, if you're lonely or sad.
Out of the blue, Vicki offers to cuddle us, but Vicki why would
I cuddle you when I've got this absolute beauty here.
Do it, girl.
Just do it.
Just ask me tomorrow about it.
Alright?
No, no, no, I'll talk to you tomorrow.
So, I had a chat with Gaz, because I think he's
actually a nice lad.
I'm trying to just speak with him, and oh, over there...
She just come over, shove a bottle of tequila in my face-
Vicki was so loon that sometimes you even got to pull,
just to get a cuddle.
It always ends up banging, but still,
someone giving you affection.
¶
So, I end up getting in bed with Scott, we're having a little
kiss, and a little cuddle, and I have to admit, I like it.
So, I'm in bed with Marnie, and I'm starting to think,
I could be in for a good night, yet, aye.
¶
My number one rule in this house, when I pull a girl is get
them up and get them out early.
Gary has finally kicked this critter out and it's about time,
because I want to talk to him about the chat
we had last night.
Is he really lonely?
Is that the only reason he pulls?
You tell me you only have sex with girls so you can
get a cuddle?
That sounds wicked doesn't it?
You have like I suppose --
As part of me bucket list,
today I'm learning how to fly, but it shouldn't
be hard I'm used to having wings.
We're on our way to our first proper, bucked list idea,
fuck the chickens, I'm going flying.
¶
Will we get parachutes?
Like, just in case?
Do you have an ejector set?
And I'm a little bit apprehensive, the most powerful
thing I've ever been in charge of, is a lawnmower,
so this could be a fucking disaster.
Woo!
Ahh!
Calm and collective.
All right, well you could be supportive.
I will.
Oh my God, am I driving this right now?
Or are you?
Wee!
Oh my God, this is so exciting!
I'm flying!
Look there's the Twin Bridge!
That is unbelievable man.
Holly is telling us that when Marnie came in,
she warned her off Scott.
He's who I flirt with in the house, he's like who I do things
with when there's no body else there.
Scott and Holly have only banged a couple of times, so I don't
really feel that she's got the right to do that.
I just hope there isn't a big divider and a kick out for
the girls because of a fight.
The views are amazing, but there's no toilet, how the fuck
do I join the mile high club?
How do I fucking land this plane?
Ahh!
I've done it!
Boom!
So, avoid the flaps, that's it.
The plane is fucking tiny!
I'm going to struggle to get a peck in there.
Maybe I should've run ahead told them Hercules was coming.
[Plane starts]
¶
So, me and James are in this plane, and I'm sharing his life
long dream to fly a plane.
So, I go to sleep.
It's actually quite comfortable to fall asleep on the plane,
like it's a lot better than the beds at home.
Ho-ho-ho!
I don't understand how Holly can sleep through this,
I'm screaming every time the plane moves.
[Indistinct mumbling]
Shit!
I feel like we're going to go down, I'm shitting me self.
I'm far too good looking to die!
¶
Yay!
Did you see you're not going to die Holly?
Mmm, did you enjoy that then?
It's scary.
Mint, that's one to take off the bucket list.
Don't think I'll be doing that again in a hurry, I think
I'd rather wax me eyebrows and do me hair.
¶
So, tonight is our third night out, and I've decided to leave
the things with me and Scott because it's causing too many
problems with the girls.
So, I'm talking to Sophie and she's being a lot better with
this, but it's only because I've said I'm going to
stay away from Scott.
She doesn't have to go running around after Scott,
there's plenty other men in New Castle for her.
Every one loves sex, so she's not going to give me it,
I'm going to go elsewhere.
It's been an exciting day; we've got the chickens,
let's go to Bijoux and celebrate, and get mortal.
¶
[Cheering]
It's so hard for me and Scott to stay away from each other,
there's so much sexual chemistry between us.
Scott's not telling us that he wants to be a wingman again;
he wants to pull birds and get back to doing what we do best.
¶
So, me and Vicki are talking about finding some good looking
boys, maybe to tash on with, but straight away I know Scott
is definitely the best out of anyone here.
I see Scott talking to a girl at the bar, and I'm trying to act
like I don't care, but I really do, so I'm just going to go over
and try cock block him as much as I can.
So, the cock blocking worked, the girl is gone, and now me
and Scott are flirting again.
Tonight I had a mint laugh, everyone's in good spirits,
however Scott was not a good one.
And, all this Geordie girl wants right now is a big,
greasy, dirty, fat kebab.
¶
Oh my God, I have missed kebab's so much.
Do you know what I want to do with half the kebab?
[Inaudible]
The girls are like animals.
They've got like kebab meat hanging from their face.
Let me eat some, ready?
I used to find it weird, now that's just normal.
Look at her.
I've never seen her so happy like; it's made of pig's cock.
I do still love it.
So, me and Scott both haven't pulled tonight, I can only see
this going one way, we're going to both end up necking on.
Thank fuck!
Marnie and Scott have decided to stay away from each other.
So, I didn't pull a bird tonight because Marnie probably cock
blocked us, so she gets what she wants, and I get in her bed.
We plan to stay away from Scott, because I felt miserably.
I'm in his bed, and we're having kissing underneath the covers.
Shit, I'm starting to get really close to Scott, and I'm starting
to realize that I do like him, and I can't fight it.
¶