¶
Newcastle, done.
Cancun, done.
Australia, guess what?
You're getting done!
The Geordies are going down under!
To Australia!
And deep into the bush!
Look out!
[screaming]
Whoa!
Throw another shrimp on the barbie!
This one's gonna be the best one yet!
This is a fucking wall!
[smashing]
I'm taking the singles away on the best trip ever!
Well, I had a dream that I, I sucked Scotty T. off.
No, that was reality.
I sucked him off.
[grunting]
I don't know who the fuck the kid thinks he is, but he can't
go on like this in this house.
I'll be here for you, no matter what, and that has been hard.
No matter how much I hate him, no matter how nasty I've been
about him, I can't let him sit up there by himself.
I'm not gonna let you back in just yet, mate.
Fucking violence doesn't solve anything, brah.
I don't know where the others have gone, but I hope that
they're not having fun, because Gary was in the wrong as well,
and why should he get treated for his behavior?
The minute I sit down, I know that, I do like him.
Now our whole night is dedicated to getting Holly home,
and getting her in bed.
This singles trip was not [laughing]
meant to be like this.
Holly!
[yelling]
[theme music]
I should have degree in pulling women.
I am a Geordie girl, with a V.I.P. edge.
I've never kissed anyone without a six-pack.
Get me into this house, 'cause I'm gonna tear the place up.
I could talk the back legs off a donkey.
I'm fit, I'm flirty, and I've got double F's.
The hardest graft I've ever done is doin' me hair.
Geordie Shore, way aye!
[theme music ends]
¶
This is one of the most beautiful places I've ever been.
Do you sleep on this?
Not only was Holly smashed last night, after we were leaving the
club, sheep Steve is gonna go absolutely mental, it's my last
night before we get back to Sydney.
I'm gonna make the most of it.
Whitsunday Islands, tonight.
[seagulls chirping]
It's the morning after the night before, and everything from last
night is totally forgotten.
We're in paradise, how can you not have a good time and enjoy
yourself when you're here?
I'm in love with this beach.
I wonder what everyone else is doin' now?
I imagine everyone else is stuck in that house whingeing about
the food or something.
Going out to Coogee Beach [laughing].
¶
[waves]
Whenever I, whenever I've kicked off right, I don't remember it.
Yeah.
I don't remember it, 'cause I'm, I'm already in that stage where
me mind just blocks everything out.
Right.
Right, well, tonight, no shots, right?
And just sip like, two drinks.
Tonight, I'm not gonna drink.
I'm gonna help out Holly, and for her sake,
I'm gonna stay sober.
You know, I see your path, I just don't want it to keep
happening, to spoil your time.
It's just the alcohol.
I feel like I must be such a burden on our night out.
They shouldn't have to put up with my anger, like,
I don't know where it comes from.
It's for no reason, and they have to end up looking after me,
and it's not right.
¶
Oh, God, sheep.
Last night was amazing.
We had so much fun.
We walked into that club, and we're not bothered about
anything else, but having fun with just each other.
I hear them, but look at them staring at us.
They're scary animals.
Oh my God.
So me and Charlotte are going to work today, and I want to tell
Steve everything what happened.
Hi, Steve, how are ya?
We might need to get a strike on these bloody sheep.
That one looks like its got piles.
That's what's gotta come off the animals.
Clean 'em up.
I've got it in me head I can do this, I can show Steve that
I can be good at one job.
I'm in the cage, I've got the sheep, I'm ready to do the job.
Ah, ah, ah, ah!
Oh, my God!
[screaming]
Oh my God!
I'm going to pinge on me leg.
One's pinged on me leg!
Oh my God, you've got shit on your leg!
[laughing]
One of these sheep just freakers out.
Where's James?
James, [sighs] he's in the shit, isn't he?
I was hoping that youse could elaborate a little bit more on
all this stuff, what's going on.
We need to tell Steve that the fight wasn't just James's fault.
It was Gary instigating it.
Gary wanted James to go, and he knows that you would
be angry if James hit him.
James hit him.
So he provoked him, Gary provoked the attack.
Gary knew exactly what he was doing.
He knew that if he pushed James hard enough, James would end
up hitting him, which would lead to James getting kicked out.
And that's what Gary wanted.
So what's going to happen, Steve?
Are you gonna get this sorted or not?
He's not going back into the house yet, and that's it.
I think Steve is taking Gary's side, when really, he should
be taking James's side.
Yay, Mary!
This day is not going very well at all.
¶
[motorboat engine]
This place is absolutely amazing, but today I planned
a boat trip and snorkeling.
I just hope everyone enjoys it, 'cause it's the
chance of a lifetime.
Oh!
[motorboat engine]
[splashing]
I feel like, I feel like so, like I'm having so much
fun with guys and Scott.
I feel like we've all got such a bond now.
Yeah, we have.
This haunt has kinda made me realize that I do love them,
and they are like my brothers, and they can
actually have fun with us.
I think I'm in a place now where I'm finally
comfortable with meself.
Good.
Quite like Dan, I think, like, I'm gonna see him once
before I leave.
Ah, yeah.
I'll escort him, and then meet youse out after.
Ah ha, yeah.
Like this Tuesday night, when I'm back.
[coughing]
Yeah.
I've started to develop feelings for Dan, that go a little bit
beyond just wanting to tash on with him.
I don't really think I'm gonna feel okay with tashing on
with other people.
So cute together, aren't they?
[laughing]
Yeah, they are like a little couple.
They make su-, they make such a nice couple.
Gary, you swim like a merman as well.
[laughing]
[water splashing]
¶
Do you?
Why wouldn't you just wait to room together?
I am absolutely livid about this crock!
Charlotte and Joel are going shark diving, and I've got
asthma, and I can't do it!
I'm fuckin' fuming, fuckin' asthma!
I'm glad you're coming, Soph.
I'm glad I'm coming too.
Well this is a bit awkward.
If youse two just want to sit and have a domestic while
I'm sitting in the middle of youse, well that's fine.
Don't anyone worry about me!
I just know, if it was the other way around, I wouldn't
stop you from doing it.
I just know that for sure.
Like, I'd be like, I want you to do it, I'd be happy for you.
I'm not stopping you.
I'm not stopping you at all.
I'd be like, Sophie, go for it, it's going to be wicked.
No, I'm happy for you.
It'll be fantastic.
Well, then why are you being so mean then?
Joel came here, to Australia, to be with me, and be with me
every second of the day.
¶
I'm in the training tank, and this feels amazing.
I hate him, he's a wanker, and I'm never going to
speak to him again.
I don't know what's got into Sophie.
Can't she not just let us have this one thing?
She's pissing all over my parade.
[scuba bubbles]
The excitement is back!
There's big fish, little fish, starfish, stingrays.
Whoa, there's a shark!
Oh my God!!
¶
I'm not gonna be one of them girls who are upset,
and not if me boyfriends asks if I'm okay, yeah, I'm fine,
because I'm not fine.
¶
[dance club music]
Tuesday, I had one of the girls actually ask about pulling,
because it's a singles trip.
They're giving us no hassle, they're even helping us pull.
So when I go out, tash on with a couple lads in a couple weeks,
I gotta watch meself.
I'm in danger of getting called the S-word.
But when Gary and Scott go out and do it,
they're ultimate lads.
[dance club music]
So I see this wicked bird in the club, and I'm thinking to
meself, I'm gonna take her back and do some
Airlie Beach aerobatics.
[dance club music]
[door closes]
I'm so pleased the lads have managed to pull.
If they came home from this singles trip, and not booked
anything, can you imagine the shame they would've felt?
[dance club music]
¶
Go for it.
Get out, get out.
Okay, goodnight.
Muah.
Go put that parsnip to good use!
¶
We get back to the apartment, I'm buzzing up to the bedroom.
Scott's banging one, I'm banging the other.
This is the perfect, perfect end to this trip.
Whitsunday's done.
¶
Last night was proper mint.
Even the balcony seen some action,
'cause I was balls deep on it.
¶
This trip has been amazing.
But now I gotta go back there and face sheep Steve.
I cannot be ost.
¶
Gary's skills include booking birds and booking trips.
Amazing.
He's just like some sort of crazy sexual travel agent.
We're coming out towards Hamilton air, gonna be on the
ground about two minutes.
Then you get out and kiss the ground.
I don't know if James is gonna be there or not be there
when I get back to the house.
I don't know what's gonna happen.
Quite frankly, I don't really care, but for everyone else's
sake, we're gonna have to sort something.
Make sure their seatbelts are done up for me.
There will be a bounce on the way down.
Oh my God.
¶
Hi!!
Finally, they come strolling through the door,
as if they've never been away.
Oh, I thought youse happy.
That's what we've been saying.
Top ten beach in the world.
They've been going out, seeing amazing things, getting
absolutely mortal, having the time of their life.
It's just been us three in the house.
James didn't come back?
He's not coming back.
James is not coming back, and I did, that's what I expected.
If you do anything bad in this house, everyone knows,
you get kicked out.
And say bye to everyone.
¶
[phone rings]
Hello?
Hello, is Gary there?
This is Gary.
What, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Apparently, sheep Steve is punishing me for losing it at
the end of the night.
There is no way I'm saying sorry to James.
That was his fault, and he's the idiot.
All right, tell you what, fuck off!
[laughing]
What'd he say?
Grab my stuff and go over by James.
What?
To apologize.
That kid punched me, and fucking never punches anyone.
¶
Hey, what are you doing?
If James had to go, then so should he.
They were both as much to blame in that situation.
See you later, bro.
See you later.
¶
Hiya.
Where have you been?
Where's Gary?
He's gone.
He got kicked out.
You're fucking kiddin' us.
This is the best news I've had the whole entire trip.
Finally, Gary's got what's coming to him.
Finally, he's getting punished for his stupid, ridiculous,
skinny actions.
Finally, I can enjoy this without him being here.
¶
See you later on.
Bye!
Tonight, I'm gonna go on a date with Dan, and it's gonna be the
last time I see him.
And, I've got to be honest, for me, me and him, was one of
the best things that happened.
¶
He's not there.
All I can think is, I'm getting stood up.
He doesn't want to come, he's realized he's
better looking than us.
This is how nerves are affecting us.
¶
Jesus Christ, I need a drink.
You look nice.
Thank you, so do you.
What are you up to?
We just got back today.
No.
I'm telling you the truth.
[laughing]
Don't want to embarrass us.
[laughing]
I don't want to look like a massive tit who's been
saving meself for him.
Well 'cause I met you last week, and 'cause I seen you the day
before we went away, and 'cause, eh I quite, eh,
'cause I quite like you.
Eh, I didn't do it with anyone else 'cause I like you.
What a wanker!
Ah, you're a good girl.
A good girl after all.
Yeah.
The fact of the matter is, once I started going on dates with
Dan, I couldn't just go and get with other people.
I would've felt guilty, and I hope he sees this.
I hope he doesn't just think I'm a sappy twat.
Going out.
You're going out, are you?
You see, I wanna come, but then I gotta get up early.
Well just come out for a couple.
I'll just tag along and be your wingman.
¶
[door closing]
I'm sick to death of staring at these four walls,
so I'm sitting outside, and fucking Gaz walks up.
Right.
I've been sent here as well.
Really?
I get to the punishment hotel and fucking James
is standing there, awkward.
Oh.
I don't even know what to say to Gaz, and it sounds like
he doesn't even know what to say to me.
I'm the ass of the argument.
All I want is an apology, saying Gaz, sorry I tried punching you,
I shouldn't have.
How hard can it be?
But he's that stubborn, he can't do it.
It's far too soon to resolve differences.
I'm just glad he's staying in a separate room.
Right, we're good.
Right, see you in the morning.
Right.
¶
I'm fucking buzzin' bro.
Tonight, we're hitting World Bar, to get back at Gary.
I'm gonna make sure that Scott overtakes him
on the pulling board.
He is going to be the ultimate pulling machine.
[dance club music]
It's a bit shippy, out on a night without my wingman.
But it just means I'm gonna have to pull some birds
for him as well.
Sophie's giving me a free pass to pull tonight.
Next thing you know, I'm gonna have to
ask her permission to go for a fucking wank.
[dance club music]
We get to the club, and I'm already a little bit pissed.
And I just can't help but feel that this is the last time
I'm ever gonna see Dan.
And I think those two things caught together are making me
a little bit over amorous.
¶
What the hell?
Me and Joel don't even go on like this!
Vicky's only met him two minutes and she's all over him
like a bloody rash.
I'm sure she had a boyfriend and a fiancé a couple a month ago.
¶
Vicky, you can't just say that!
You're gonna blow the whole cover!
He's not supposed to know that you like him!
Fuck sake.
¶
The next thing you know, Scott's got four girls around him like
he's fucking Hugh Hefner.
If you're a girl, and you want to pull Scotty, and he's drunk,
you've probably got a massive chance, 'cause all you got to
do is look at him.
His numbers are going up so much now.
Gary's gonna be gutted.
¶
I get back to the house, and I am even drunker than I was in
the club, because I think it's a good idea to continue drinking.
¶
Look who's here now.
Hey!
This is Christina and Bree.
My boyfriend is in a complete mortal state.
Joel, inappropriately, is introducing them as
number 11 and number 12.
Let's get some drinks!
Us Geordie's can drink, and we can drink really well, and him,
being a southerner, can't drink for absolute shit.
To your room now.
¶
[laughing]
It looks like I didn't need my wingman tonight.
It's all right guys, I've got this covered.
¶
I am absolutely buzzing.
My pulling prowess has obviously worked.
[laughing]
But I'm fucking mortal, so even if I wanted some kind of D,
I've lost all me motor skills.
[snoring]
¶
I woke up next to Dan.
Did I have sex with him?
No.
Did I touch him in inappropriate places?
No.
I just held his hair.
[laughing]
I woke up and I'm still pissed.
I can't remember a fucking thing from last night.
Not a fucking sausage!
It's a pity I can't steal you away for a bit, eh?
Yeah, to lie on your sofa with your puppy.
If I'm this drunk now, how fucking drunk was I last night?
¶
I still got my dress on.
He's gone forever.
¶
Did you fuck her?
Yeah.
I can't believe all four of them actually would've came
back with you.
Two.
You fucked two of them?!
Yeah, four wanted to come back but there isn't room.
Four wanted to come back and have sex with him?
So last night I had a wicked threesome, and the lasses
have already let themselves out, perfect.
So they, so they nailed and bailed?!
Oh my God, Scott got some nasty ass!
Girl, you're smashed.
¶
It's my last day in Australia, and we're going
to see the beach.
It's going to be so awful to leave this and go back
to shitty Newcastle.
So help me back, I'll miss this.
I know.
I'll definitely miss the weather.
It's just a bit of a shame that James and Gary can't be here.
Yeah.
I know.
We went through everything with them.
We started this as a family, and I really want it
to end the same way.
Losing James and Gary for our last night, it's just going
to mean that tonight won't feel the same.
Yeah.
It's always gonna be awkward now.
Especially after the fight.
I just, I just don't think they can ever make up again.
I can't believe it's coming to the end of our
time in Australia.
It's been fucking brilliant, and I just don't want to go home.
¶
How, how was it with Dan?
I wish I could tell youse.
I've got no fucking clue.
I can't remember a fucking thing.
[waves rolling]
You seemed happy though last night.
I was happy, dear, I am happy.
I'm finally happy.
In this house, everyone's got so many of their own problems.
I've been forthright sometimes, with, how I feel about Ricci.
I've got over him on me own.
And I'm proud of meself.
This has just been the first person that's made us happy.
Yeah.
I just want more time to be on me own, I think.
Yeah, I'm just glad you've moved on, as well.
Yeah, I'm getting tears, sorry.
Why?
I don't know, it's just because this is the first place that
I've felt happy in fucking years.
I tell you, I'm scared to go back.
Coming halfway around the world was the only thing I could've
done, the only thing I could've done, to forget him,
and get over him.
And try and get some semblance of meself back.
¶
You don't need to be scared, you know.
You just need to be positive about it.
[sigh]
Right now you're on your own, you're independent.
This is going to be a stepping stone for you.
This is right.
Yeah.
I just don't wanna go home and go back over.
Yeah, well.
You won't.
I hope that Vicky can carry on being the person she is in
Australia, back in Newcastle.
Strong, happy, and confident.
She needs to not speak to Ricci at all.
This has made you so strong.
You've proved to yourself, and all of us, that you don't
need him anymore.
I'll miss Dan.
I'm a little bit down.
I've had one of the best experiences of me life,
and today we leave that.
¶
[door closing]
I come back to pack me stuff, it's my last time in this house,
in Australia.
I just hope Charlotte's there to say bye.
[laughing]
Hi.
Good to see you.
I really don't know what's going to happen between me and Gaz,
but to be honest with you, I've got a lot more important
things to think about.
Like saying bye to me true friends.
How are youse?
Is everything all right now?
I'm so sad that I'm not going to be around for the last night.
'Cause this is always the best night, where everyone comes
together, reminisces on such a good time we've had.
It's just shit I'm not gonna be here for it.
Can I ask all you opinion?
Um, girls without Charlotte are coming out tonight.
I never thought after everything else happened in Australia,
my time here would end not seeing Charlotte and
not speaking to James.
I'm not even drinking tonight, no way.
Why?
[laughing]
We always make disappointments together.
¶
I bet it's a bit sad that you're not going to be saying
bye to Char.
It's all right.
Even with Char, it's like, it's different this time.
I think, like, because youse know each other so well, youse
can probably have one of the best friendships ever.
Just tell her that I asked to see her.
Tell her you ran off, or something.
Uh, I know you know she loves shit like that..
I know it.
After everything that Charlotte and Gary has been through, I
can't believe Gary had the absolute guts to think that he
was gonna leave this house without saying any kind
of bye to Charlotte.
Finally, I makin' him put all his thoughts on paper.
For me, I haven't got a clue what I'm gonna write in this
note, but to be fair, it's probably easier I'm writing it,
than actually saying it to Charlotte's face.
¶
I'm so shocked, I can't believe what Gary's writin'.
Finally he's showing his emotion, he's opening up,
but why doesn't he do this when it came to the end.
If he'd just done this before, him and Charlotte
would've been okay.
Right, I'll write it down, and she'll never see it.
She will.
What is it, like a make-up hiding spot?
Put it in her make-up bag.
¶
I'm packing me things, and it's starting to sink in.
This is it.
Me Australia trip's over.
All right.
Hi.
I've just got so much stuff that I need to get off me
chest with James.
I wanna tell him how sorry I am about the argument.
How I feel guilty how he's not going to spend
his last night here.
How I feel like it's my fault.
I'm really, really sad to see you go.
Especially 'cause, it's, I feel like, sorta responsible.
Nah.
Don't, honestly, don't worry about, like, me and Gaz
have always had a little bit.
It's nothing to do with you.
Vicky feels guilty about what happened between me and Gaz,
but she doesn't have to.
'Cause after all, she's been there for me in Australia,
so I just wanted to be there for her.
It's shit that Charlotte and Holly's not here and all,
like you'll have to, have to tell them bye from us.
I will.
I will, I'll tell them.
Like, oh.
It would've felt right, if you, you'd be saying, oh, oh,
I'm going to say goodbye to Holly and that,
do you know what I mean?
It's a shame Holly's not here to say bye to, 'cause I'm so glad
that we somehow managed to sort out all our differences,
and get on better, and benefit everyone in the house.
I love you, babe.
Aww.
Love you doll.
¶
After everything that Scott and I have done, we've absolutely
smashed Australia.
It's shit that me and him haven't got this last
night out together.
This is the last time I'm gonna get to walk down these stairs.
I really am gonna miss these girls, but at least I know
I've a good one waiting for me when I get home.
I can't wait to see Kate.
¶
I can't believe this time in Australia has ended,
and I can't even say bye to Charlotte.
And I never ever ever thought I would lose her as a friend.
¶
Hello.
Gary and James have just left.
Have they?
I didn't get to say bye.
They left you a note.
I just didn't think the end with me and Gary would be so crap,
or uneventful, or just nothing.
No, no note, nothing.
I know that he's left her a letter,
but I don't wanna tell her.
I want her to find out in her own way.
Well, we'll have a good night, anyway.
¶
Hey! What are you doing?
Doing this!
[screams]
Oh, you got it!
Oh my God!
What?
Really?
Are you kidding me?!
¶
Tonight is the family's last night in Australia, so we're
gonna make it one to fuckin' remember.
[cork popping]
Whoa!
Yay!
Cheers, everyone!
Whoo!
Back to the Hummer!
[yelling and cheering]
¶
Oh my God!
This night is getting very, very good.
Buzzin'.
Thank God, it's big enough to fit me and my chest in.
Ush, ush, ush.
¶
The whole night is the perfect way to pick everyone up,
to cheer everyone up, and make everyone realize that this is
our last night, and even without the lads,
we've got to make the best of it.
[dance club music]
Get your cock out son!
[laughing]
Well, they say fuck!
Scary Canary's been the best club while up here in Australia.
We always get so messy.
[dance club music]
It's the last night, and I look over,
and Scott's talking to girls.
I reckon that Holly's only in a bad mood because she's not
getting drilled, but there's any chance she's going in any
of my toolbox.
[dance club music]
I'm surprised and I'm shocked.
What the hell could be in the letter?
Do I even want to know?
I am intrigued to know what's in the letter,
of course I'm gonna be.
Maybe it's the things I've never know, because,
he can never tell it to me face.
¶
The night's been shit!
I heard that!
Hey, Gary.
Gary, say sorry.
What?
Sorry.
So I'm flirting with Scott, and I don't even
know what I'm doing.
I'm not gonna be a freak, 'cause right now, I'm acting like
a fucking retard, but I'm not gonna suck him off.
Let's do a kabob since we're here our last night.
Kabob!
So we're on the other side of the world, and the girls
decide they want a kabob.
However, I think it's about time I start hammering
the fucking lass!
Yay!
We need kabobs!
I need to wee!
[laughing]
Honey, you can't wee there!
You can't wee in front of all these people!
Yet again, another classy night.
Charlotte's pissing on the floor again, right next to the kabob
shop, and we're shielding her.
Just typical.
¶
Hungover as fuck, as per fucking usual.
I'm a little bit down.
I've had one of the best experiences of me life,
and today we leave that.
This is a nightmare.
Why didn't we do this before last night?
Don't know.
¶
I put the note in Charlotte's make-up bag, and I don't know
if she's gonna read it or not.
But the fact of the matter is, that he did wanna say bye.
Eh, did you know about this?
Yeah, I saw it.
I don't know what's gonna be in the letter.
I don't know how it's gonna make us feel.
Do I want to have took only steps forward, to just go
all the way back again?
Don't get upset.
No, no, I'm not getting upset.
I don't, I'm just not gonna read it.
Why?
'Cause I feel I don't have to.
Nothing Gary can say now can change anything,
but I don't want it messing with me head.
Just crumple it up.
[paper tearing]
¶
Well, it's the last day.
[laughing]
It is.
Now it's just me and you four girls.
God, it's weird.
Oh, God, yeah.
We can have the biggest arguments, say the most horrible
things about each other, but, it doesn't matter.
'Cause in this house, we all just get over it.
Fact of the matter is, deep down, we all love each
other so much.
I feel like now we're done, with being the most dramatic and
like confrontational thing.
Yeah.
D'ya know what I mean?
It's so sad to be leaving without Gary and James because
they are part of this family, and their not being here
is just heartbreaking.
And hopefully one day they'll be able to resolve it.
This is it.
This is...
So, we're ready.
This is...
The lasses might do me head in, but I feel like their protector,
they're like my little sisters, and I'm gonna miss them loads.
To the last remaining housemates!
Australia!
Smashed!
Piped!
Wrecked!
Wasted!
[laughing]
Spoked all over Australia's face!
[phone dialing]
Hello?
Hey, babe.
Hello, darling, how are ya?
Calling Dan to say goodbye is a little bit sad.
I feel as though it's the last time I'll ever
really speak to him.
I'm just saying, all packed.
Oh, you're leaving me, eh?
Yes, I am.
He lives on the other side of the world.
And let's be serious, it was what it was.
Oh, I'll be sad.
Just a little bit.
Yeah.
It was a holiday romance.
It was a pretty good one, at that.
And, well, you've got me number, so just messages whenever, okay?
If I come over, you're gonna have to look after me
over there, yeah?
Yeah.
I'll show you how it's done in Newcastle.
[laughing]
¶
Oh, fuck's sake.
¶
Fuck.
Lad, you were a legend.
You're the best.
We'll see you again soon.
I'm so sad.
The time in Australia, for me, has been the best ever
time in my whole life.
I'm with me boyfriend, I love him so much,
and everyone loves him too.
We love you!
Bye, Soph!
Goodbye!
[car engine]
¶
My turn to go now.
Don't leave.
[crying]
There'll be no boys left.
I know you annoy me sometimes, but I love you.
I know.
I love you.
Come here.
Scott is a big part of my life in the house, because I do go
to him for cuddles, and he does give me attention.
And that daft smile just seems to make everything ok, and I,
I absolutely love him and I'm gonna miss him.
I'm gonna take the mic.
[laughing]
Okay, so, don't bother, we'll be all right.
We'll get a taxi or something.
[laughing]
I'm glad this house is gonna still remember Scotty T.
by massive holes in the walls, smashed lamps,
and a broken piano.
Okay, man!
See this?
We love ya!
[laughing]
Bye, Scotty frickin' T.!
[car horn honking]
Regardless of what everyone thinks, me and Gaz haven't
been in competition while we been in Australia.
But if I had, I won it by a fuckin' mile!
¶
You thinking about going back to Newcastle?
Yeah.
You scared?
Yeah.
[crying and sniffling]
I'm allowed to think the whole world here,
do you know what I mean?
I've allowed meself to live in a little porous bricker bubble,
and it's bloody comfortable here, it's nice.
But I know that as soon as I get off that plane, as soon as me
feet touch the ground, I'll have to deal with all of it, head on.
Fucking petrified.
Like, I knew, if I was ever feeling sad or ever feeling
down, I could find yous, you weren't far.
Yeah.
[sniffling]
Every single day, when I got that, and I'm gonna go from that
to not being together anymore.
I know.
Sometimes, I do wish I could just stay here forever.
But I'm braver than that, and I'm stronger than that now.
And I can do it.
It's gonna be a bit shit, but I can do it.
Get over here, cockface.
[laughing]
Bye, babe!
Bye, girls!
I love youse.
Love you too.
Good luck!
Thank you!
¶
It's a bitch how you didn't get to say bye to Gary and James.
I know.
It would've been nice to kinda clarify with James, like,
everything that happened.
It would be nice to have a chat.
My intentions were just to completely ignore James,
and I am really happy that we're actually leaving with
some kind of friendship.
Even though it's not the same as before,
there is still something.
I never wanted to not be his friend.
It's just I couldn't let myself be his friend.
Normal families couldn't get through what we've done.
And no matter what's happened, we're always
there for each other.
We are a family.
Big, incestuous, family.
Boo!
[laughing]
What the hell?
Gary's just walked in.
Eh?
I just came to say bye in person.
Well, I'm glad you decided to come and say bye!
We just got a little note on the board.
And your note?
I didn't read it.
I'm shocked, I don't know what the hell is happening,
why he came back.
Um, ah, it's so hard.
I'll give us a minute.
[laughing]
Yeah, go on.
I thought this was gonna be an easy goodbye, but it turns out
it's gonna be so hard.
It is hard for me to say it to your face.
It's just awkward for me, but...
I don't need to know, you know.
I know, I know, it's just, it happened to me personally, like,
like, and honestly, my best time in here was helping you,
and always will be.
And I think Mitch is a lucky lad, and I hope, if he got,
if he gets any of the memories that we had together,
he's the luckiest man in the world.
At me lowest point, Gary made us feel like I was worthless, like
I wasn't worth the shit on his shoe, like he didn't care about
us, and I just hope he doesn't do that with another girl.
'Cause it's the worst feeling in the world.
I've had a lucky escape, a very lucky escape.
He is lucky, 'cause of all the memories I've had,
he's got all of them coming up.
And I hope he makes you happy, 'cause I see you deserve it.
No matter what happens with me and Charlotte, we're gon both be
married to other people.
There'll still be some kind of bond there, and it's still
always be a Gary and Charlotte.
You know I'll always be your friend.
I know you will.
[sniffling]
¶
I'm not just leaving Gary here, I'm leaving Charlotte
and Gary here.
It's the end.
This is actually the end this time.
I know.
No kisses, no nothing.
[laughing]
Bye.
Bye, Gary.
¶
What did he say?
He knows that the memories that we've had have been his best,
and he said that, if, he knows that Mitch has got
all of them to come.
And he thinks he's such a lucky lad for having
such a great girl.
[sniffling and crying]
¶
Oh, fuck.
¶
It's just, it's probably the end now, isn't it?
[sniffling and crying]
But one day he's gonna realize that he missed out on
everything that you were.
And he's gonna, like, hate himself for it.
Yeah.
[sighs]
Fuckin' hell.
¶
Australia, the Geordie's have landed!
Ew, ew!
I fuckin' hate emus.
[screaming]
A bat in the fucking Geordie Shore house,
and I fucking maul it!
[screaming]
It's the day that Joel's gonna get here.
[screeching]
Hey!
It's Joel!
Aw, you're gonna get funny!
[water splashing]
There's some crazy bird, naked in the garden.
God forbid I have any tan lines.
What the fuck are youse doing hiding down there?
Awkward!
Steve picking up the sofa that's drenched in my piss.
Ah, that was wet too.
Hey!
¶
I don't know who the fuck the kid thinks he is.
[grunts]
We're having a good time, hooray!
[glass breaking]
Scott's fuckin' flipped!
[yelling and screaming]
¶
Plenty tashing.
My mission tonight is to pull.
¶
[screaming]
¶
Scott's got four girls around him, like he's Hugh Hefner.
¶
I'll miss the family, fucked up though it may be.
I'll miss it.
¶
[theme music]