[opening theme music]
New Castle, done.
Cancun, done.
Australia, guess what?
You're gettin' done.
The Geordies are goin' down under to Australia.
And deep into the bush.
Throw another shrimp on the barbie.
This one is gonna be the best one yet.
Is this a fuckin' war?
The anger management woman is here for one person
and one person only.
Scott, it seem that your name has come up most often.
Scotts kickin' off and smashin' the house up, again.
Scott has smashed another thing when he's pissed.
When will he learn?
I am fucking tashing on.
There are plenty tashing.
Before I know it i'm goin' in for the fucking tash.
I'm, sowing me wild oats.
Go on, Vicki.
I'm fucking doin' it.
I've tashed on with Victor.
It's just familiar cock from now on.
Gary still thinks he's got some type of power over us.
Who wants to kiss Gary?
Fuckin' shooting prick.
Now go kiss someone else, 'cuz I'm happy to watch, I dont care.
And once again, we're too fucked to even have sex.
I should have a degree in pullin' women.
I am a Geordie girl.
A VIP edge.
I have never kissed anyone without a six-pack.
I get into this house I'm gonna tear the place up.
I could talk the back legs off a donkey.
I'm here, I'm flirty, and I've got double F's.
The hardest graft I've done is to do me hair.
Geordie Shore, way ay.
[guitar music]
Last night was mint.
But yet again, it ended with Scotty T smashin' somethin'.
If it's not a bird, it's a wall or a piano.
The way Scott is in this house, he's gonna get punished.
It' just a matter of time before Steve turns up
and fuckin' bumps him.
I've found out that theres a new castle in Austrailia.
So I want to take everyone there and see if it's as
good as the tune.
What the hell happened last night?
And why was I in such a state ?
At one point I remember Joel being drunk
and thinkin' fuck this.
I wanna get drunk now.
And oh my God, I fuckin' did that.
Have a nice.
Bye everyone.
The only people left is me, Charlotte and Gaz.
Which is gonna be really weird.
[electric guitar music]
It doesn't matter how many times you tell Scott,
about what he's doing wrong.
'Cus it just goes in one ear and out the fuckin' other.
The kid thinks he's done no wrong.
[laughter]
Did you see the sign?
Fucking Mooney bridge.
So we're driving past Mooney Mooney bridge, which obviously
means you've got to get your crack out.
I'm not sure that's what the Aussies meant.
None of the others wanted to do it.
Why?
'Cus they've gotta a fuckin' shit crack.
So we're drivin up and we see the sign for New Castle.
In Jesmond.
It's got walls...
It's fuckin' kinda nice this beach, though.
If i didn't know any better, I'd think I was
on Whittley Bay Beach.
It's a nice beach.
Man, look at that man.
He's mental.
[electric guitar]
Why would I ever want to go to New Castle in Austalia when
it's gonna be a let down?
It won't have any good kabob shops, people won't be wearin'
false eyelashes, and there won't be a Bijoux.
Last thing I want to do is go to the gym and train.
But I need to get out of the hosue in fresh air
to cure this hangover.
Never been at the gym.
The only workout Sophie is gonna do is with her mouth and her
tounge, and she will talk my ear off while I'm tryin to work out.
So, so ill.
Like, you don't understand how ill I am.
Last night was a night I never though I'd see.
Charloette, with me, drinkin' on a party bus,
pullin' girls for us.
Our whole friendship is based on flirtin', that's what I mean.
Yeah.
He keeps talkin' about Charlotte.
and he brings Mitch up all the time.
you never hear Charlotte talk about Gary.
At work and he's like, "Who wants to get home with Gaz?"
That weird?
Just like, what the fucks goin' -- she has me
snuggle some girl in front of Charlotte.
I saw that, and she's not gettin' upset over it.
I wouldn't say that to be weird but if that's what it takes,
that's what it takes for me I think.
I think Gary still likes Charlotte,
but Charlotte hates him.
She's moved on.
Do you think there'll be a day when yous can be friends?
Oh, yeah.
We're still friends, not i think friends properly
but it's baby steps.
[drums]
This is pretty.
Shall we get some fish and chips?
No, I'm fat.
This fish and chips sucks cock.
There's so fuckin' mushy peas, there's no fuckin' chip shop
curry, there's no gravy.
The only thing i fancy is the fuckin' little waiter.
Vicki, is in fucking heat.
She's crackin off with the fish man.
Vicki?
I'm so bad at this..
I've been doin' all right on the pullin' for him, but despite
that, me game's not what it used to be.
Rather than being all cool, and coy, and collected, I panic
because I think he's gonna walk away and I'm not gonna get a
chance to speak to him or express the fact that
I find him attractive.
Are you single?
No, I'm not, sorry.
That's OK.
Pied.
[laughter]
I've just been pied in New Castle, Australia.
This would never happin in New Castle, UK.
[laughter]
Mine and George's relationship has come so far that not only
now do I like him, I'm allowing him to be me wingman.
I'm out of practice.
I didn't think you'd go so hard there.
[laughter]
Me and Vicki have gone in like, completely different directions
when it comes to pulling.
She's all over the cock and I just kind of shy away
from it now .
Like, I'm a bit scared of it.
[laughter]
[electronic music]
So I get back from the gym with Gaz and I want to tell Charlotte
everything he's been sayin' because he's been talkin' about
Mitch and if anyone was talkin' about Joel in the wrong way
I would wanna know about it, so I'm gonna tell Charlotte.
[sighs]
I was at the gym today with Gaz, and basically the whole
conversation was just about you.
Like, I've moved on.
I've moved on like five months ago.
He said, "We're taking baby steps".
Baby.
What you mean?
What does he mean baby steps?
Good friends, again.
We're never gonna be good friends.
It's a process.
I can't help but feel really fuckin' pissed off.
When i hear that Gary's been talkin about us to other people.
Next time he brings it up to anyone I people to turn and say,
"Why are you talkin about Charlotte again?
Will you just stop it?
You're starting to look sad and pathetic."
Even if it's good.
Good or bad, I'm fuckin' pissed off.
Why is he talkin' about us at all?
I don't want you to be happy for us.
I don' t want you to talk about us.
OK, twat.
[electric music]
I'm buzzin for tonight.
We're all out and we're hittin' Treadmark.
Way ay!
Uh.
So, I'm drinking meself into oblivion.
Can't go back out another night when I just know that Vicki
is gonne be on the pull.
I'm left by me fuckin' self all the time.
I'm sick of it.
I'm just gonna sit here and not do anything because trying to
get in the way of psycho Charlotte isn't an option.
Gosh.
I'm in a drunkin fit of rage.
I'm so dangerous.
I'm showin' everyone the danger.
Ahh!
Step back, I may harm you.
[laughter]
What is it with this house?
We all just love smashin it up.
Portrairt of disfunction.
[guitar music]
Joel and Sophie deside to stay in tonight, and you can't blame
them for wanting a bit of alone time.
But the rest of us are headin to Trademark.
[electric piano]
I may be out with just the singles tongiht, but it beats
stayin in the house with psycho Charlotte and Sophie and
Joel and the bondage girl.
Holly, has from somewhere, developed cock fright.
I don't know where it came from, but I'm gonna see to the end
of it and get her back in that saddle.
Holly doesn't seem herself.
She's not bothered about chasin' cock.
I don't know if either, she knows she can't compete
with Vicki, or Scott has just put her off his.
[guitar music]
Me and Joel have had so much fun lately, but now I think
it's time to have sex too.
Why's that?
'Cus -- It was really good though.
Was it?
Good.
Me and Joel really can't believe how far we've came from anal to
bondage, to BJs behind the decks and now to having
a meal in Australia.
I am happy.
Bitches?
So, me and Joel are trying to have a nice night in, spend a
bit of time together, and Charlotte comes and
be's the thrid fucking wheel.
Yeah, I know.
I do get what she means, when all the girls are out and having
a good time, the last thing we want to see is one girl
goin off kissin boys.
Me and the girls feel like we're kind of loosing Vicky.
She's goin' crazy.
Gettin' confused like, we don't even know her anymore.
[electric music]
I see a girl at the end of the night but she's
got a friend with her.
So I'm thinking, if I get her back, i'll get her friend back.
All these wing gents have had two girls.
Holly, I've had two girls before, I can handle it.
Scott and Gary completely lowered their
standards in Australia.
Like, most of the girls at the port are average at best.
They can't keep treating this house like a fucking hotel.
you can't just keep bringing these girls back and expectin'
us to be OK with it all the time.
And bein' a nuisance at the end of lights out just to go
and neck on with some girls?
I just, what?
I don't get it.
Me and Holly are winding each other up talking about the
fact that Scott is treated totally unfairlly.
He's complete golden boy in this house.
And he's not getting any retribution for
his horrible behavior.
Scott, bring the oversized man troll that he is,
is thinking with his fucking cock again.
He is fucked.
He's pissing everyone off and there is going to
be serious retribution.
[guitar and drums]
I've had a shit night, I'm winding myself up thinking about
how Scott gets away with bloody murder.
All I want is to have a bitch and have a fuckin pizza.
We have the pizza.
But not Holly.
Holly does not want the Italian delecacy that is pizza.
She wants distruction.
And she's gonna fuckin' get it.
I'm fuckin sick of people gettin' fuckin'
preferential treatment.
This isn't about pizza, this is about something much bigger.
This is about equality and women's rights and I'm gonna
stand up for what is right.
[screams]
Oh, my God.
The girls are into it again.
They're screaming, they're shoutin'.
I don't care.
Their voices, boars.
I'm sick of people getting preferential treament.
Scott gets to bring girls back every fuckin -- and he smashed
the fuckin' place up like four times.
And I get sent away for fuckin' three days.
Obviously, these girls are all grown up now,
they're all mature.
And when they kick off, you've just got to give them a pizza
and a can of pop and send 'em to bed.
Because that's what real mature girls do.
[electric guitar]
I love this house, I love Australia, I'm going to bed
with these two girls.
They're kissin each other, banging together.
I don't understand why girls complain so much,
this is amazing.
The only place for me and this bird to go is the sofa.
I'm at a loss, as long as it is shock proof,
I don't give a fuck.
[soft guitar]
Where's everyone at?
Everyone's gone.
Where?
Like, literally gone.
To the beach?
No.
Charlottes gone, Scotts gone and I think Holly's gone,
I think kicked out.
What for?
Charlotte kicked off.
I don't know what--
So basically Charlotte kicked off because she
didn't want to go out.
All right.
She was angry, and ended up smashing--
She's been kicked out for that?
Yeah.
'Cus she smashed the four doors off.
I hope that everyone else is getting punished.
I hope that they're cleaning up poo, they're shaving sheep
and they're wipping each others asses because
that's what they deserve.
Don't you think the girls done it in a way because Scott
gets away with it.
And they thought they could?
They thought they would, but obviously not.
They did it and haven't got away with it.
Everyone in the house has been saying for ages,
that Scott needs to get punished for the way that
he's been goin on in the house.
But I don't think that Holly and Charloette expected
to get punished as well.
So it's just me, you, Vicky and Gaz?
Yeah.
That's it?
Nah, nah, nah.
Take your toothbrush?
Hey, so--
Yeah?
It's fuckin' ghosts that I do not like.
What?
That.
See it there, a trip that's planned for the most haunted
house in Australia, right?
I believe in ghosts.
I've seen so many ghosts in my life, but Vicky is a sceptic.
It's only gonna be funny.
Honestly, I dont, I don't like--
Wait, lass.
What you gonna do if it's haunted?
It's only a ghost.
Do you believe in things like that?
Yeah.
Fuckin' love shit like that.
I don't.
Do yous believe?
Do you believe in this?
Do I?
Not.
Do you not?
Absolutely not.
It's a load of crock.
It's a load of shit.
So everyone is buzzin' 'cus we're goin' to this most
haunted house in Australia.
As opposed to gooing to every other haunted house that
is just full of the same fake shit that doesn't exsist.
I can't see it.
Can't see anything.
Oh my gosh.
Just like, fields and stuff.
There, that's it.
It looks like, somethin off a horror film.
Oh my God.
So, we pull up to the haunted house.
It's dark, it's rainnin'.
Fuck me, this is scary.
This room is probably the most calm and collected
room in the house.
People come into this room and no one says they're freaked out.
I'm sorry to interrupt, but this is like, somethings really goin
on with me foot.
Really?
Oh my God, is it just me?
Why is it just me?
Something has just touched me on the leg and I know for
a fact it was a ghost.
It, something just go like that in me foot.
Feel how cold it is there.
Yeah, it is actually cold, isn't it?
It was probably Gaz, man.
The creepy prick.
He hasn't been booked in about fifteen mintures.
Now, the bedroom that we put you into tonight, is one of the
rooms that we have the most amount of trouble with.
So i think we'll head inside and start preparing
for the night ahead.
[mumbles]
Fuck.
Get in trouble with me.
I'll look after you.
So the room that we've got to sleep in is the most haunted
room in the whole entire house.
And I crap myself beacuse the bed that me and Vicki are
sleepin on is where someone died.
Ghosties, ghosties.
Who gives a fuck?
That's the same as every B and B in New Castle.
[electric guitar]
I've been kicked out of the house, again.
I'm in the punishment hotel.
I feel like it's me second fuckin' home as I've spent
more time here than I have at the house.
But on the plus side.
Scott's with us as well.
Finally, some justice.
Well, this is shit.
Last night I was balls deep and tonight I'm just gonna have
a tug in this fuckin' shit hotel.
We really fucked off this time.
I wonder if this is it?
I hope this is the end of the punishment.
I really don't want Steve to have something else shit
lined up for us to do.
Awe, fucking shit I hate this room.
And it's hot.
Do you think jumping around like a tit?
I'm so bored, man.
Scott is this big ball of energy and he can't find
anywhere to release it.
He's locked in this little tiny room like a caged
animal bursting to get out.
I wonder if Gary's calling Scott.
Fuckin needs to, eh?
And he's catchin up with you on the telly.
'Cus if he's not, he needs to.
Keep up the good work.
I need a break.
I've seen too much.
[laughter]
Scott can sit there and deny that he's not worried that
Gary's catching up on him.
By bookin more people while he's stuck in this motel with us.
But he can't fool me and Holly.
He's shittin' himself.
I can see it right in his beadly little fuckin' eyes.
Be in in a bit.
Bye.
Nightties.
[crickets chirping]
Fuck.
It's the middle of the night and I wide awake.
And as I look up, I see all the bed posts shakin',
I'm shittin' meself.
I felt the bed move.
Sophie wakes us up, scared in the middle of the night.
Apparently, she's seen something.
There, there Sophie.
Don't worry about it.
Antie Vicky has scared all the crazy ghosts away.
So you can go back to sleep, pet.
Fuck me.
I've definitely got cock fright.
And I think I've definately, like --
Is that, is that?
-- lost my slag title.
And I'm really glad about it, you know?
Holly is saying that she's got cock fright.
Is that a fuckin' shotgun, or is it?
It's just like, a little play time.
Little?
For when I'm drunk.
Because we both know that if we were sober,
we wouldn't do anything.
Scott is the only familiar cock that I've actually got access
to in Australia.
So when I'm mortal it's just easier to go for him.
Not very easy.
Well, yeah.
You were dead easy that day.
How, fuckin' rude.
[guitar and drums]
So I wake up in the most haunted house in Australia, but I've had
the best night's sleep since I've got here.
I am so surprised that I wasn't scared of the haunted house.
I honestly think I'll get a bigger fright goin' in the girls
room and seein' 'em with no make-up on.
[sarcastic screams]
I wake up fresh as a daisy.
Of course, I do.
Because there's no such thing as fucking ghosts.
I can't wait to just get home and get pissed.
Me, Holly and Scott we're bored, we're tired, we're sick of our
lives and we just wanna go back home to see the others.
Steve is such an asshole.
I hate him more than any boss we've ever had.
I'd rather be anywhere but near Steve ever again.
Speak of the Devil, here he is, walkin' in.
God's sick.
Yous are really starting to piss me freakin' off.
That's why you're out here on this
little fuckin' holiday camp.
I'd be havin a fuckin' nightmare down here, eh?
It is a bit of a nightmare, that's --
We're havin to appologize to Steve,
and the only reason we're doin it is 'cus we wanna go home.
Sorry, Steve.
Sorry.
It's a fuckin' enough.
Sorry.
But I don't want to appologize, I feel weak, I feel dissheveld.
Do you see the Queen apoplogizing?
No.
Before yous go there I want you to go out and run an
errand for me, okay?
Oh, no, Steve.
Just get in the fucking car, don't carry on --
No!
I've heard enough of you, fucking dog and everything else,
OK?
I'm so thankful that Scott is finally getting punished,
but not to the degree that I have to go with him.
Why has this happened, and why me?
OK, Charlotte?
You're going back to the holiday camp, eh?
Yes!
I get to go home and Holly and Scott have to go on an errand.
I don't even know what one of them is, but sounds like
a really bad thing that people never want to go on.
Ha-Ha.
Now I'll love yous and leave yous, get your gear,
clean up that room, and get yourself smackin into gear.
Catch yous.
I ain' t got time to fuck around.
Good luck.
I'm proper good, Charlotte gets to go home while I've got to
drive this shit heap to the ass end of fuckin' no where.
[inaudible]
My pillow?
I'm givin' 'em a call.
I'm sad to be leaving Holly, I very much doubt that Scott
and Holly are going to have sex.
I think maybe she'll suck him off, but he's so thick, that
when he's drunk he always ends up puttin' his dick in her.
[laughter]
Stop.
Don't kill me.
[electric guitar]
Hello!
Where is everyone?
Where else is everyone?
Oh, God.
What's goin on?
Thank God, Charlotte is back, I'm absolutely buzzin'.
But she's not with Holly, and she's not with Scott.
And she's left them together?
Is she thick?
Holly's gonna fall bloody obsessed with Scott.
Well, I was allowed to come home.
Right.
But then, you know, Steve came out and was just like,
Holly and Scott you have to go out on an errand.
Scott will fuckin' hit that.
For one, he's stuck with Holly and that's the only way
they can bang.
And number two, I'm in Sydney smashin' it.
He will hit it.
Should we go out and eat, celebrate me being back?
World Bar?
Let's celebrate Scott finally getting punished.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it, golden boy.
Woo!
[violin music]
So, we find out that it's six fuckin' hours away.
And I'm like, Oh my gosh we're actually gonna have
to stay over night.
I can't be fucking bothered.
I'm foolin me.
While everyone is going out partyin' I have to drive this
shit with Barney the dinosaur as a passanger to the middle
of fuckin' no where mission.
No worse than you driving.
No I'm not.
[laughs]
Ya know, actually, you're the one who started it last time so
don't fuckin' give me that line.
Definitely not me.
Yes, you were.
[electric bass music]
It's Tuesday, we're in Sydney, it means one thing: World Bar.
Don't get this wrong, I do speak to James.
I just feel we have totally different intrerest and hobbies
at the moment he loves bitchin with the girls and doin' his
hair, I love goin' out with the lads and bangin birds.
Chug, Chug, Chug.
Me, Gary and Sophie used to be really close.
And now that that's over, I feel like Gary can't have a
friendship with a girl unless he's flirtin' with them.
With Holly and Vicky it's very clear for flirtin'.
And that's why he has them as friends.
Gary doesn't know what a friend is.
Gary, come on then!
Scott woke me up, he's seen the sign for Heland
and I'm like, whoa.
I really don't like this.
Like, What the fuck's that?
Scott hasn't called in a couple of days and I'm thinkin, well,
we haven't actually been drunk.
It is just when we're drinking that we do things.
We get to the B and B, there's no one here at all.
Holly's writing for bridlesby.
I don't know what she's pinga.
I'm just hopin that I don't get too drunk, I don't want to
wake up with Scott's dick in me mouth.
[laughter]
Vicky, out of no where challenges me to a
necking on competition.
Vicky will not do well..
[together] Are you single?
Are you single?
Come here.
Are you single?
Come here.
Next thing I know, I'm tashin' on before him?
I win!
Swag.
Before Gary even has a chance to lift his skinny, little, acne
ridden fist up, Vicky's already planted her lips
on some little boy?
Yes!
Gaz is devistated.
He just lost his crown as top puller to Vicky.
What the fuck's he gonna do now?
If she wants a real challange, let's see who bangs first?
This, is a very proud moment for me.
I am a weapon of tash distruction.
Yes!
What is crazy to think about, this time last year
Vicky was engaged.
Now she's racing me to start it in the club.
Gary, Gary, Gary.
Yes, I lost.
But in my eyes I got five shots of tequilla, and may as
well do them in style.
Because Gary has lost the pulling game, he is now
taking it himself to pour tequilla shots in his eyes?
What the fuck?
It's 2013?
I think she's being a mad one just to prove to us that she has
moved on from her relationship.
Vicky, we've got the point after the first 25 lads
you've snugged.
What is it with everyone wanting to change me?
First Scott has got me all competetive with birds,
now I've got Vicky challanges, just let this be.
I've got things to attend to.
[rock music]
Oh, oh, oh.
I heard a noise of a whale.
I thought, it was Gary havin' sex?
What the hell was goin' on up there?
Gary, you all right up there?
I know Sophie hasn't been getting much action, but I never
thought she'd go as far as to listen to me bang just for a
little bit of pleasure.
Bangin away, I roll over thinkin I've got a fractured hand,
screaming agony and Sophie is like, "Gaz you OK?"
I thought I heard you, were you cryin'?
Did he snap is banjo or anything, because it sounds
like it was in absolute pain.
It sounded like a whale, getting done up the asshole.
[laughter]
So I've woken up with morning and I'm just glad I didn't let
Scott go anywhre near Scottie T's cock.
Me and Holly still have no idea why we're here so we're going
to go out and find a payphone and ring that toilet, Steve.
Is this Steve?
Right, well, you've sent us all the way up here so I suggest
you tell us what you want us to do.
He's tellin' me he's too busy to speak to me.
And I'm like, "Are you for fucking real?"
Are you having a fuckin' laugh?
I'm not calling you back in a couple of hours,
Steve, that's just ridiculous.
Wanker.
The fuckin' idiot.
What did he tell you?
He was like, "I don't have time for this,
call me back in a few hours."
No.
It's a kangeroo.
Oh my God.
Why is it just layin' there?
Let me see.
No, it will kill ya.
So Scott spots a kangeroo and he's goin over to talk to it.
He's like, "Come on roo."
And I'm like, all right it's not a fucking dog.
Are you gonna go play with it?
Is it your new friend?
Make it your new friend because I dont want to be it.
If I want to pull out here, I've got the choice between
a kangeroo, a stray dog or Holly.
Tough choice.
[rock music]
[doorbell ring]
So the doorbell rings.
And I go downstairs to answer it, just expecting it to be
Steve or someone similar.
Imagine my surprsie when it's fucking fit Dan from the gym.
Accompanied by what can only be described as a horse-sized dog.
Oh, what's his name?
King.
Obviously.
[laughs]
Of course, I heard you like puppies.
I do.
I am completely taken by surprise.
I wasn't sure if I was ever gonna see him again
after the last time.
And here he is, standing at me front door.
I can't help but think that none of the lads the lasses
have brought back have never come back for more.
You think he'll be pissed at me because I'm a girl?
No, he just cruises.
So where goin' off on a little walk, me, Dan, his dog.
Like a little family.
So when are you guys going out next?
Tonight or?
Yeah, tonight.
I think were going to um, one of your favorite places,
Scary Canary.
Oh.
[laughs]
Last time I must have been so easier off because I was so
drunk, I didn't think that he had anything to say for himself.
But this walk has really showed us that he's
got a bit of banter.
Gan on, son.
I'm proud of these little guys.
Why are you -- [laughter]
They're his, not yours why are you so proud?
'Cus.
They're so big.
I feel like, I feel like we should cover his modesty
or something and give him a pair of knickers.
The topic of conversation that comes to my heads first,
is fucking dog's bullocks.
Wicked.
I'll be in touch here.
We'll go have a drink or something?
Yeah.
Definitely.
All right.
Right on.
See you soon.
I don't even wanna think about the date itself, I'm going to be
a complete and utter basket case.
Everyting from what I'm going to wear, how I'm doing me hair,
what size heels to wear, I'm going to be a nervous wreck.
[rock music]
One thing I knew I was going to do in Australia
was learn to surf.
I'm a good swimmer, but surfing is a whole different ball game.
I'm getting addicted to it.
James on the other hand has only just got his ten meter badge.
How the fuck is he going to surf?
Hayward then.
Me and Gaz were off surfing, what the fucks the
worst that can happen?
Oh.
Oh my God.
Fucking hell.
I feel mint after that.
The walk over here and I feel fresh as fuck.
I wanna be better than fuckin' Scott.
If Scott bangs Holly, when he returns to this house
he will be treading on thin ice.
I'm literally the expert in knowin what happens when
you have friends with benefits in this house.
Finally, one thing that me and Gaz agree on, is that ya
can't have uncompliacted sex with someone that
lives in this house.
So that if Scott and Holly are bangin' it's only a matter of
time before it kicks off.
Let's go back to the house, get some food.
Grill out.
[guitar music]
Do you miss Scott?
It's just, quietter.
[laughs]
Everyone's agreeing that the house is so much better
without Scott here.
Even Gaz is starting to grow on us a little bit
without his wingman.
Me and James were both of them and hitting
on the sufboards and we're both like, "High fives!"
We high five as were surfin, it was mental.
Without Scott around, gary and James can be friends.
They get along.
They make conversation, they make time of day for each other.
No one feels like anyone is left out.
Is he your new best friend, or Scott?
[laughs]
Let me see that.
This house is such a better house without Scott.
There's no dramas, there's no one doing your head in.
Everyone is just getting on with life.
Our group changed massively when Scott came in.
I think, like, that moment, like, ah, he's a nice lad and
that, but you just need to forget about all this
competition and stuff and just have a laugh.
When Scotts not around, there is a definite different
dynamic in the house.
It's as though, without his wingman, Gary is more able to
connect with us and communicate and spends less time runnin'
around tryin' to pull birds.
The only difference is no one in the house askin what I'm
wearin or what I'm doin.
Quiet, for you.
No difference for us.
[laughs]
[guitar]
Hi, ya, Steve.
What's Steve's crack?
I've been punished enough.
Hello, telly.
Helland?
It's more like fucking dead end.
Oh, I'm great Steven.
We're having a perfectly lovely time.
So I'm on the phone with Steve and I'm really drunk by
this point and I'm actually being really nice.
So what have you been up to, Steve?
Have you been having a good time?
And he's not really having any of it.
But, he tells us that we can go home tomorrow 'cus
we're too pissed to continue with the journey.
Resolved?
He said that he's going to send us to Wellington.
Where's Wellington?
He said, "it doesn't matter.
Just sleep off your hangovers and come back in the morning."
[laughs]
I wasn't able to surive one more night without getting
eatin alive by Holly.
It's sound.
Let's just get through it?
[electric music]
We're going to Scary Canary and me and Sophie are gonna get
so drunk we piss ourselves.
Just like the old days.
I'm buzzed enough to let me hair down, get mortal,
and finally get shagged at the end of the night.
What's crazy to think about, I'm in a club, talking about tactics
and standards and pullin with Vicky, When not to long ago
I was out to buy engagement rings for her with Ricky.
So what?
I'm making up for fuckin' lost time.
I've been in a realtionship for two years when I wasn't
even ever lookin a fuckin' other lads.
[owls hooting]
[laughter]
It's sensual.
Knee massages are supposed to be sensual.
Relaxing.
So I'm getting drunker, and drunker, drunker, and flirtier,
and flirtier, and more touchy.
How is cockatron?
He's wicked.
Good.
This always happens when me and Scott are drunk and we're alone
in a room together.
Somethings gonna happen.
There's no one else to distract me.
[electric music]
We've all been thinkin lately that Vicky has been
tashin' on too much.
She's been taking herself away from the group for pull.
And that's mostly just being by herself.
Hang on a fuckin' second.
Charlotte: Co-founder of the cock capturers, and Gary:
Self-professed posseser of a degree in pulling women,
thinks I need to slow down on the tashing on?
Fucking hypocrites.
I can't even believe me ears.
I'm only trying to have a bit of fun out with Vicky, but went
tashing on and she kicks off.
Turns out, poor Charlotte and Gaz spoke about
the tashin on tonight?
Shit.
I think it's safe to say now, my nights ruined, it's over.
[soft guitar]
Me and Scott now are really drunk.
And it's really like tipsy, tired, flirty drunk and
it's just goin' a little bit too far.
So Holly is movin' on to me, sure.
And I'm to pissed to put up a fight?
Go on then, suck away.
So we're drunk and we're in bed and Scott's cock
just accidentally falls into my mouth.
And then I'm suckin' on it.
Fuck.
[soft piano]
We here.
I'm starving.
In true Geordie Shore style, the minute we get back to the house,
everything's forgotten.
We eat pizza.
We get a little bit drunker.
I'm never gonna hold this against anyone in the house.
They had their opinion and they said it.
But i'll never forget it.
No, here.
I see you're fucking things up, Joel.
[rock music]
If I got back, and Mitch didn't wanna see us anymore,
Austrailia would be a big wreck.
I had a chance to move on and be happy with somoeone.
But instead I came to Australia and live with someone
who I hate.
It's the end of the night, we're both drunk and finally we
can have sexual intercourse.
[laughter]
Oh!
Ew!
[closing theme music]