¶
New Castle, done.
Cancun, done.
Australia, guess what, you're getting done.
The Geordie's are going down under.
To Australia.
And deep into the bush.
Look out!
Oh!
Throw another shrimp on the barbie.
This one's gonna be the best one yet.
This is a fucking war.
Do you know what this is?
It's fuckin' karma.
I'm ignorin' James, it's the best thing for us at the minute.
We can't really be around each other.
¶
Bye Jay!
Now it's back to just me and two lads who couldn't give a shit.
¶
This is my first date since Ricci.
¶
What's the matter?
I really miss Mitch and every day it seems like it's just
getting harder and harder.
She's lost that wild and funny side.
I know that her and Gary aren't getting on, but why should
that make her lose that person that she is?
Can't you see we're fucking pissed.
You've got Sophie and Vicky against Charlotte and Holly,
and it's literally going off.
Don't lose sight of everyone else because when you do,
you start to lose sight of yourself.
Especially not that bitch.
Well don't get me involved, Charlotte.
I know but don't get involved in it, Sophie.
I'm gonna use this to my advantage, head down,
pull some girls.
Three girls, one bed, night night.
¶
I should have a degree in pulling women.
I am a Geordie Girl, with a V.I.P. edge.
I've never kissed anyone without a six-pack.
Get into this house and I'm gonna tear the place up.
I can talk the back legs off a donkey.
I'm fake, I'm flirty, and I've got double F's.
The hardest graft I've ever done is doing me hair.
Geordie Shore, aye aye!
¶
What the fuck has happened tonight?
We've been arguing and shock, look what's happened.
Gaz walks in with three birds, and one of them
looks fuckin' familiar.
Wait a minute, it's a bird I pulled from the other night.
If I brought a bird back that Gaz has pulled, he'd be
flapping around like a bougie.
I'm fuckin' sick of of this constant competition
between Gaz and Scott.
We need to end it now, howay lads, who's the alpha male?
Shut up.
Just leave her alone.
¶
Enjoy me sloppy seconds kid.
Liberty.
This is why I love Australia.
¶
Last night was epic, however; after years of experience, one
thing I've learned is if I get the girls I've pulled out in the
morning before our girls wake up, life is much easier.
So I find out that Gaz didn't even bang any of these birds.
He just had a slumber party.
No work today, everyone.
Yes!
What happened last night?
Don't get me started.
I think something happened.
Last night we all got so mortal, all the girls ended up arguin'
and I got kicked out the club.
We've all woke up this mornin' and thinking, shit, is this
gonna be completely awkward?
And everyone was like enjoying themselves and then all the
sudden you snapped at me and Vicky because we looked nice.
I didn't come to Australia to argue with me best friends.
I feel like now I just wanna stop getting so angry when
I'm drunk and just try and convince myself to
just go and find some nice boys.
Hiya.
I told them all what happened last night, Vicky.
Had ya's forgotten?
Oh yeah, looking very sheepish face.
It doesn't make sense.
Us girls never argue.
If anyone, it should be the lads 'cause they're always
slapping each other off.
They're so two faced.
What about you, dill hole?
I forgot!
You forgot?
Yeah.
That doesn't make it any better.
Does it make it like you didn't do it?
Vicky's asking for an apology but I don't even know
if she deserves one.
I don't even know what happened.
We're sorry.
Bitches.
That sucks.
¶
We need a family day, and what better than getting on a yacht
and sailin' around the Harbor Bridge?
Vicky can't come cause she gets sea sick, but the rest of us are
gonna have a wicked day.
I expected some sort of big cruise liner.
I thought I was gonna stand at the front like Kate Winslet
and pretend I was on Titanic.
A sailin' boat.
Who the fuck wants to sail?
Oh shit, it's so choppy isn't it?
James and Holly still aren't really speaking, so they're
on opposite ends of the boat.
Me and Gary still don't really converse, so we're at
opposite ends of the boat.
Sophie and Scott just don't give a shit but they're probably
on opposite ends of the boat as well.
Looks like a big fuck off Tiana Bridge like being at home.
Couldn't go down the Tiana in a fucking sail boat,
it would stink.
[laughter]
Smell like what in the girls bedroom.
Me and Gaz are both having problems in the house.
Him with Charlotte, and me with Holly.
But for now, at least things are civil.
It's fine by me.
I think it's absolutely ridiculous that Gaz has gotten
to the point where he feels he has to take girls out during
the day just to get one over on Scott.
They might not be mates, who does that?
James, how do you like being in control?
I love it.
It's mint.
You're a good Captain.
I'm a good Captain.
Is he a good Captain?
He's steering really well.
James is still trying to be friends with Holly, Holly's
still having none of it.
You could cut the tension with a knife.
What do you think of it then?
I mean, I think James is trying to make conversation but
the conversation is just boring me a little bit.
Wanna go with this?
Nah.
Oh God James, I don't feel like you're lookin'.
James, I mean just concentrate on driving this fucking boat.
I am, I'm watching for which way I go.
I don't think me and Holly should force ourselves
to be friends again.
I think this is just gonna take time.
The day for me has been a wicked day.
We sailed a boat under the bridge, past the Opera House,
but surprise, surprise, the girls still aren't impressed.
Let's shout abuse to that other boat.
Boat wankers!
[laughter]
¶
All I want from tonight is to go out, get drunk, be happy, have
all the family together and just not cause any shit for once.
[club music]
We're all hyped up, ready to have the best night ever.
The dance floor's full, the tequila's flowing, so now it's
time to do what we do best, and get mortal.
¶
Me and the girls are having so much fun, we put the fight
behind us, it's in the past, and everyone's dancing,
and I'm even drinking.
Charlotte's back.
¶
So the night's actually becoming really good and Scott's flirtin'
with me and I'm wondering where he thinks this is gonna go?
Not tonight Scott.
¶
Me and the lasses are tired, we're hungry, we want nothin'
more than a kebob and bed.
When we're up with the lads they seem to still be havin' a
really good time, and it's so nice to see James
being properly involved.
I'm trying to convince James to stay.
I'm actually trying my best.
I want him to stay, I want him to get involved.
The lasses have had enough but Gaz insists that the lads
aren't gonna pull until the last minute.
So I'm gonna stay and try and have a laugh with them.
¶
Gaz is full of shit.
After that massive speech about the lads not pullin',
in walks two birds.
Two girls come over, start speakin' to me and Scott, and
out of the blue he has a fit.
It's coming to the point where I can't even have five minutes
crap with the lads without getting fucking birds in.
Fuck this, I'm off.
All of a sudden James comes storming out of the club, and he
looks angry and we don't know what the fucks happened.
James has reached the end of his tether with Gary and Scott
and I'm not surprised.
He's made no secret of the fact that he wants to be more
integrated and spend more time with the lads,
but he can't when they're pullin'.
He's got a girlfriend.
And this to me just seems like the final straw.
This has been coming for so long, it was tension there
and it's built for so long, it's just finally blow up.
Do you know what pisses me off, James, he's always complaining
about not getting involved, so when we try to get him involved
he throws a little fit.
¶
I know that I'm not speaking to James, but I feel like I've just
got to do the right thing and the right thing is being on
his side right now.
I'm getting really nervous because I know that shit
is gonna go right down.
And then when they all come in, when we get up and stand
our ground, and say you're not welcome here at all.
Charlotte's basically ring leading this whole facade.
Like it's just so weird, like I just feel like she's just
lettin' all this anger out that she's always felt.
Do not continue to treat this house like a hotel.
That's what I'm ready to say.
Suddenly, it's like a scene from the Lion King.
We are a pride of lions protecting our territory, and
look who's walked up the stairs, Pumba and fucking Timon.
I don't need to go fucking anywhere.
Right through my fucking house, do you?
I'm telling you, you better find somewhere else to sleep.
The thing I'm most pissed off about is the fact that Gaz stood
and lied straight to my face, saying that they weren't gonna
pull girls, fucking bullshit.
The kid doesn't give a fuck about anyone else but himself.
It's what happens every single night in this house.
So what do you want us to do when we're single fucking lads?
[yelling]
As soon as he starts raising his voice, that's when I'm in.
[yelling]
As much as I would love to jump over this piano and get at
James, it's not worth losing my place in this
Geordie Shore house.
[yelling]
Gaz is going off on one.
Obviously the truth hurts.
Fucking belland.
[yelling]
I hope Gaz and James sort it out, otherwise I'm gonna go nuts
and you don't want to see me go nuts.
That piano, I'll tear it into a fucking bird house.
[yelling]
Finally, I feel like everyone's seeing him for what I seen him
for, a fucking scum bag.
Go now.
I'm not taking sides in any argument.
And Gaz is going nuts, so it's time to get him the fuck out
of the house.
[glass smashing]
Me and James are done.
I know I can have a good time out here.
As for him, he's fucked.
[glass smashing]
It's about time that Gaz got knocked off that pedestal he
puts himself on.
He's been walking about this house for too long thinking
he was the fucking king.
We finally all got a common bond.
Everyone hates Gary.
So we have got what we wanted, the boys have left.
Scott's gone, and so is Gary.
And all that we are left with is angry people,
and a broken piano.
We did what was right.
We did what was fucking right.
That high five that me and James had was probably the most
physical contact that we've actually had in the past year.
I am happy that me and James are actually beginning to build a
friendship up again because I didn't want to be childish and
hold a grudge forever.
It's just, it wasn't that easy to forgive him in the beginning.
Too much had gone on.
[laughter]
Fucking deaf cons.
¶
Last night was mental.
I can't believe how out of hand it got.
I didn't expect this in a million years.
This has brought so many positive things.
It's made James feel united with the girls, it's made Holly
and James be friends again, and it's made me
the happiest I've ever been.
I can't believe I wasted two years of my life actually
thinking that I liked Gary.
Where's James?
I knew you were gonna say that.
And Sophie goes to check on James, and he's gone.
Hey, we stood up for ya, like you should wanna stay with us.
He's being kicked out.
Or maybe he just left.
Sheep Steve has clearly been in throughout the night,
and he's took all the boys.
The girls have the house to themselves.
To the wombs!
To ovaries!
So right now we've got a house full of girls,
and do you know what?
It's what we've always fucking wanted.
[chanting "no boys"]
So we're so excited, we're just running around the house
screaming female things like ovaries, and wombs, and periods.
[yelling]
If you've not got a womb, don't bother coming.
No cock here either.
[yelling]
What to do when it's just the lasses?
Cocks, canopies, and cocktails for everyone.
I'm gonna wee.
No work, no boys, very unimpressed with
this behavior, Steve.
¶
Last night was crazy and things got way out of hand.
Once again, me and Scott were getting loads of attitude and
hassle about pulling girls and leaving James with the girls.
For two days, fuck it, we'll get in the car, we'll go on a road
trip and have our own fun.
No more lasses wingin, no more James being a fanny, just the
dream team on a fucking mission.
I don't understand why Charlotte is doing this.
It's like she's being so evil and just trying to manipulate
and start any kind of argument.
¶
I feel like a fucking bitch in the total way I ever
thought I felt for Gary.
Yeah.
Like, this is like really strong.
I know, I see you don't want to get on with Gary so that just
makes it all fall in order quite a bit.
I feel like Sophie, out of everyone, really sees that I've
changed and sees that I've moved on, and I'm just so glad I've
got her here to be there for us.
'Cause you've been through so much with that horrible dick
and he destroys you.
And all the awful things he used to say and do to you,
because you've got a new boy.
Well good, go and be happy.
Like, I am right, but like basically, oh my God,
I don't know how to tell you.
What?
I've knew, before I came here, that Joel was gonna come.
Nice.
So you got something to look forward to.
Yeah.
I just hope that when Joel comes, Charlotte won't get upset
and think about her relationship at home.
If he wasn't comin', I would be exactly like you.
Joel's coming out to see Sophie and I'm worried I'm gonna lose
me best friend and then have no one left in the house.
I'm the longest lasting relationship in the
whole Geordie Shore.
Everyone else's relationships have been a fucking joke.
And I know mine have in the past and whatever, but look at this
now, I'm strong and I love me boyfriend so much and I wanna
spend the rest of me life with him.
¶
I've been kicked out and made to stay in this absolute dive.
I'm absolutely bored out of my mind but at least
I get to speak to Kate.
I got kicked out a big part of the house.
Them two, Scott and Gaz went to a hotel and then I'm
in this fucking shitty.
I look like a scruff.
I regret getting so angry, but this thing with me and Gaz has
been building up for so long.
They don't talk about anything else apart from themselves
and shagging birds.
It's not like normal lad crack, it's just like, trying to pick
themselves up all the time.
Of course you're not gonna think they're good looking.
Have you seen your boyfriend?
Enough of me and this shit hotel, did you
get your surprise?
They're bigger than you?
I'm so lucky to have a nice girl at home like Kate who's there
for us no matter what.
I feel sorry for people who haven't got it, like Gary.
¶
So whatever drunk we end up ladies, to cheers.
Ladies day.
To ladies day.
We're not missing the boys what so ever 'cause they add nothing
to the group, apart from cock.
This feels normal.
Happy.
No, this, this feels normal.
Do you know what I mean?
Well if one good thing came out of it, it means that me and
James are friends again.
Every cloud.
I know.
I just felt like I know what's right, do you know what I mean?
Like even though we weren't speaking, like we are a family
and you got to stick up for what's right in your family.
When I saw Holly and James high five, it was like watching a
gazelle and a lion cuddle.
You know what we can do now that the boys are gone?
What?
Masturbate.
You like the power shower don't ya?
Eh.
So what happens when you put it right on it?
Or just the shower?
Just a little bit out.
The girls decide that with the boys gone, we should
spend our time wisely.
Masturbate in the showers, walk around naked.
This does not sound like my idea of a good fucking day.
I think, why don't we all try it tonight in every
shower of the house?
I don't need to be a part of this experiment.
I'm fine.
So you've never masturbated Vicky?
No Sophie, and I don't want to have this conversation.
[laughter]
¶
Me and Scott now have been driving for hours.
Believe me, we are far enough away from Sydney.
[dog barking]
It looks like we are in a wild west film.
Everything is made out of wood.
Oh well, snap.
[dog barking]
Everybody back home is probably just winging about last night,
where as me and Gaz are getting ready to take this
town by storm tonight.
¶
I don't know what's gonna happen tonight.
All I know is that it's me and Scott, and that means no
arguing, no grief from the house, just me and
him having fun.
¶
And even though we're in a mining town with a population
of like 100, and there's 96 fellas and four
girls, there's still four girls ready to pull.
You could literally put me and Scott on the moon,
we'll still find birds.
Gaz has got his bird, and I've got my bird.
#pure legends.
¶
So we've had the canopies, we've had the cocktails,
and now it's on to the cock.
¶
My mission tonight is to pull, and I wanna pull first.
¶
It's lookin' good for Holly, she's got a lad in, now all
she needs to do is not bore him, get her tits out,
and suck on his tongue.
'Cause I'm not really that good at actually chattin' people up,
I'm just asking the first thing that comes into me head.
Holly's chatter blinds are absolutely shit.
I have been the best wing woman for Vicky here.
I can see a boy that she likes, but there's a bit
of a language barrier.
French?
Fuck sake.
Yes.
Now me French isn't what it was, but I know enough to get by.
[speaking french]
¶
The single girls are goin' in.
They're being slags.
¶
I've actually pulled a boy.
Like a real one.
I pissed him.
It wasn't that good, but at least I still did it.
What a successful female's day.
I can't help but hope that the boys are having no fun at all
and they are getting tortured by Sheep Steve.
¶
I absolutely love Australian girls.
I'm a proper machine.
I might as well be a fucking nail gun 'cause
I nail everything.
I'm banging, hopefully Scott's banging, and that just proves
the dream team can go to any corners of the earth and
pull out the bag.
¶
Oh, it's bright.
Last night was proper mint.
We made the most of the bush in the outback.
Amazing sex, wicked banter, we had a laugh, no drama.
Done.
Me and Scott have had all this fun, then we realize we've
got to go to civilization and face everyone.
I think Gaz really doesn't wanna go back and see the others,
especially Charlotte and James.
I know that he just can't be awse to the drama.
What do you think she's gonna be like when we get back?
I bet you she'll be a grade A fucking bitch.
She'll just try to split herself.
Obviously the fun Charlotte, obviously
the laughing Charlotte.
All I've seen is this stressy little fucking bitch who's
tried to spoil everyone's fucking time.
It's about time we ring the house, tell them where we are,
and we're on the way back.
Quite frankly, the boys don't give a shit.
[phone rings]
Hello?
Hello.
Hi Scott.
Where have you been?
We just went on a pure mission in the middle of no where.
Like literally like in the sticks.
Like a four hour drive.
I was under the impression that the lads were sent away
and punished for their behavior.
The only possible explanation is the fact that he's sucking off
Sheep Shaggin Steve.
Are you still with Gary?
Yeah, yeah.
He's in the car now.
Gary isn't the person who you think he is, you know?
Like you might think he's your best friend,
but he will fuck you over.
It sounds like Charlotte hasn't forgiven or forgot.
She's pissed off at Gaz and she's taking it all out on me.
What's it hurt you what he's doing?
The conversation should be between all of us, I think.
If you's wanna come along, you's can come along.
I don't think there will be much conversation between
us all like.
Well we'll just see you later on Scott.
All right, wicked, I'll see you in a bit.
Apparently they've been on like a mission around like
all the suburbs and that.
Fucking idiots.
We're the only two single people that wanna pull.
I don't understand the big fucking problem.
She'd be happy if I'm by myself.
That's how evil she is.
¶
Welcome home.
Hi.
Girls.
Hello babe.
Hi.
You kids all right?
Good to have you back.
I'm absolutely buzzin' to be back in the house with the girls
after their stunt at first.
But I'm not sure what's gonna happen when
Scott and Gaz come back.
You didn't even do anything wrong, that's the thing.
Yeah, I'm sick of them all going on like they're the only
people that ever shag a lass.
At the end of the day, we were all on his side the other night.
James was in the right, and I'm glad he's back.
I don't feel like we need to apologize, we didn't
do nothing wrong.
I think, I think they walk back into our house, so they can come
up first and apologize.
So we'll just keep on acting like they don't exist.
¶
Me and James should have resolved this sooner, like it
shouldn't have ever gotten to the point of me going for him.
Like, that shouldn't have ever happened.
We did actually used to be best friends you know.
Like, do you remember, like we actually were like
close at one point?
Things will never be back to the way there were with
me and Holly.
Far in which has happened since then, but I'm pleased that we're
startin' to make progress.
I never ever meant for it to go the way it did.
Do you know what I mean, like?
Yeah.
Ugh, I just try to keep everyone sweet and fucking it ended up
biting me in the fucking ass.
I mean, this is the first time in a long time that me and
James are actually having a conversation together.
We were really good together.
We used to bounce off of each other and hopefully we can
just start to rebuild that friendship again.
I was like, what, we hive-fived?
That's the most we've touched since Cancun.
[laughter]
Friends?
Aye.
So far.
Yeah?
Yeah.
No, it's better.
¶
So we're all playing balls, but in the back of our mind we know
that Scott and Gary are going to turn up very soon,
and I don't know if it's gonna kick off again.
We've all said that he's probably just going
to blame it on me.
But he's got no right blaming anyone 'cause I'm not fucking
lass about that fucking freak anymore.
¶
This is about to happen.
My heart's beating through me chest
and I'm actually really nervous.
I just hope James and Gary don't kick off again.
All right.
We're walking over, and James and Charlotte
got faces like thunder.
Honestly, just get a life and get out of mine.
I'm ready for the abuse.
I'm not worried 'cause I know I'm gonna win them over
with me Scotty T smile.
Gaz on the other hand is fucked.
How are ya?
If this is the start, I dread to find out what's
gonna happen next.
Gary and Scott are gonna have to make the first move because
after all, it's all of us pissed off at them.
Scott's doing all the talking, and Gary's holding back like a
stray, abandoned, malnourished dog.
It's predominant you all came down with the fact that we wanna
spend more time with yous as a group, but there comes this
little part in the night where one of yas looks like he might
pulled and the other one gets scared and runs off
and we lose yous.
It's starting to get pathetic.
And this whole, yous aren't bothered,
yous both are so bothered.
It's embarrassing.
I'm even offering only to pull on certain nights of the week.
I mean, I can do Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays.
That's fine with me.
You're genuinely suggesting we have some sort
of shagging schedule?
We just, everyone has to just say sorry and
then we'll all move on.
I'm sorry.
Good.
Love yous.
Why am I apologizing about pulling girls?
We're sorry as well.
Yeah.
We're sorry.
I am gonna accept Gaz's apology, but just for the
sake of the house.
'Cause I know, in a couple of days, he'll just be back to
his old asshole self.
¶
Charlotte, Sophie, and James want to stay in tonight, but the
singles still wanna go out.
So me and Holly have to take it on the chin and get out with a
couple of bellands.
But a night out, is still a fucking night out.
¶
So tonight is gonna be unreal.
It's just the singles, the Scary Canary, we're gonna get fucked.
¶
Everyone actually looks like they're having fun.
It turns out, when it's all the singles together,
we actually all get on really well.
Tonight we've decided that we're not gonna bring any randoms
home, we're just gonna go home, the four of us.
But I suppose that doesn't mean that we couldn't
get with each other.
I'm getting a distinct vibe off Holly that she's after
a bit of me pipe.
What the hell man, Holly, it's either family or pipe.
You're pure confuse me.
I'm just getting more and more drunk and it's becoming so hard
not to flirt, and this is just the worst situation
I can possibly be in.
This was the first time I actually got to spend time
with Vicky, have a laugh, and we're both pissed.
'Cause I forgot what the flirty, fun, banter side
of Vicky was like.
And this is her.
Gaz is flirting with Vicky, Holly's flirting with me, we're
not bringing any outside girls in, so it turns out it's gonna
be a family night after all.
I am so home sick.
I'm trying to have a good time even though I'm missing
Mitch so much.
¶
I'm so wasted.
You're all gonna have to help us get out.
Me and Scott are fucking hammered and I can honestly
see where this is gonna go.
I put me jamas on.
So we had come back from a night out, and I'm having a laugh
with Vicky, 'cause I forgot what the fun,
banter side of Vicky was like.
And this is her.
So Vicky and Gary start talking on the floor, and they're
actually having a really good time.
But me and Scott are in the bed and like we just like can't
stop touching each other and it's getting a little
bit awkward now.
I don't know if I'm like trying to turn him on but I tell him
that I've got like crotchless underwear on.
You can't tell Scotty T that.
If I'm not hearing it, me fucking chud is.
Look at my dick.
Oh my God.
Holly and Scott are taking getting on well to a different
level, and all I'm thinking is, I'm off to bed cause Scott
is gonna regret this in the morning.
¶
I find me self in bed, Vicky's in the bed next to us,
weirdly flirting with us, I think.
¶
So then it's just me and Scott, uh oh.
I tried to not go near the cock, but its coming at me, and I'm
getting naked, and then I'm riding it, and then I'm fucked.
Literally.
I don't know what it looks like, but I'm definitely not
having sex with Holly.
She's having sex with me.
She's taken me wand all the way to fucking Hogwarts.
The fact that this has happened does not mean that there's
gonna be any feelings there.
It's family bonding.
This family night is getting proper weird.
[moaning]
¶
Shag pad.
Ohhh.
Alone?
No, I wasn't alone.
Yeah we did.
Did ya?
Yeah.
I know I fraternized with the enemy.
I don't go out for one night and Holly's in bed with Scott.
And apparently she's had sex with him.
Has he only had proper sex?
But it was a good night.
Me and Scott is completely to how me and James started.
I liked him, like I really liked him, but with Scott
we're just friends.
Like I don't have those kind of feelings towards him.
Like, I couldn't bang him sober.
But I'm not bothered that it happened.
Like, I'm quite happy actually, like I'm now okay
for the next six months.
Yeah?
We count on her she's not gonna go there again.
She's been there, done it, and got a Scotty fucking t-shirt.
You don't seem as frustrated and cranky as yesterday.
I think it's definitely what I needed.
Yeah.
I mean, we said we wanted them to spend more time with us,
so I couldn't think of any better way.
¶
I was fucking smashed.
Absolutely smashed.
So is that what you do now when you drink.
Gaz, you can't talk to me about going back there, because you've
been going back to Charlotte ever since day fucking one.
She knew it was a crock.
All right, I've heard them famous words before though.
I've seen it happen so many times in this house,
it always goes one way.
She's literally, do not go back there.
Do you think you will?
You know me.
Go back to Holly, naw mate.
There's too many fit birds in Australia for that to happen.
Either Vicky's having a little flirt, I was like, go on Vick.
I was like, awe you're flirtin' here.
That was kind of nice.
Vicky would never happen.
I'm mates with Ricci, and it just wouldn't happen.
I couldn't do it.
I don't think Vicky would.
Nah, nah, she definitely wouldn't.
Def..hmm.
So do you think Charlotte would be pissed off if you
necked on with Vicky?
'Cause yous fucking nearly did last night.
I don't give a fuck.
You fucking did.
You're smiling 'cause you know I'm right.
[laughter]
Don't deny it kid.
What happened to an innocent flirt?
Innocent until proven guilty.
[laughter]
¶
If they want family time, let's just give them fucking family
time, 'cause I can't be arst with arguing.
I fucking hate arguing.
Girls.
What?
Come to the top floor in the garden.
Ohh.
You arranged the chairs.
Pretty.
Ohh.
[laughter]
Scott and Gaz have really pulled out all of the
stops tonight, mate.
Set a few bean bags out and ordered some pizzas.
Get in.
Well I just don't think we are.
If Char wants to have an argument with me, I wish she
would just walk up to us and have an argument, instead of
trying to turn everyone against us.
Yeah?
I do agree with that Gary, for the first time in a long time.
I'm pleased yous are agreeing on something.
It's gonna take more than a slice of pizza for me
to forgive them two.
Yeah.
Lets just go out.
Yeah.
[laughter]
To family.
¶
[group cheers]
Tonight is another family night.
We're hitting no vacancy.
I just hope it works out well and we actually all get on.
[club music]
Me and Gaz seem to be getting on so much better.
I hope he's finally realized that I'm not a moog,
and he can't just keep going on the way he is.
[club music]
Fuck me, I'm actually having a full on conversation with
Charlotte, with no one but us and it actually feels real.
This is what a family night actually is.
It annoys us how Gary thinks that nothing's changed.
He's not phased by this at all, when really I'm having to work
so hard to not let him fuck up yet another relationship.
Finally, Charlotte and Gary look like they're having quite the
civilized conversation, and I just hope that Charlotte
is getting everything off her chest.
It's weird that she's been so far away and so distant and
all of the sudden she's laughing and carrying on.
She's right next to us again.
This is dangerous territory.
[club music]
We're proving a point here, like we're actually all out
together having a good time.
[club music]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Gary are you fully naked?
Come on Gary legs.
Gary's a little, Gary's got a funny.
[laughter]
I know that that's a man-gina and not the real thing.
What the fuck?
This is dedicated to Jay.
Jay look it.
[laughter]
Finally everyone's speaking to each other and everyone's
having a good time.
And this is fab, because Joe's coming in the next few hours.
What do you thinks gonna happen with Charlotte?
Do you think when Joel comes like she gets a bit happy and
that will make her want to leave a little more?
I do think Charlotte will get a little bit jealous when she
sees Sophie and Joel happy together.
But it's only natural.
I will as well.
She's so drunk.
I looked at her and I was like, I was like you're drinking wine.
This means one thing, you're gonna get carried to bed.
You're probably gonna piss yourself, and that's it.
Do you know what though?
Like, she said tonight, she went, if I do leave, I just
wanna make the most of what I do now.
I would never want her to leave, but if that makes her happy.
I don't know, I just hope she's okay.
I don't think people understand that I've got to live here
with someone who I used to be with, an ex.
This time around it's totally different.
I really, really, really miss Mitch.
And every day it seems like it's just getting harder and harder.
I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to do it.
I feel as though, when Gary first found out that Charlotte
had a boyfriend he was happy.
But then, as time progressed, he realized just how much he missed
the relationship that they had.
And, now he's like floundering and sort of wants it back.
[music and crickets chirping]
¶