"Geordie Shore" is back.
What the hell is gonna happen this time?
Geordie Tours.
Where? Across Europe.
(all cheering)
(all) What happens on tour, stays on tour!
Bring on the fucking carnage.
(screaming) Fuck off!
(Anna) I want you to leave, no further notice.
Hi, again.
Charlotte's back.
I love you.
I am just another girl who's fell in love with Gary.
I have to deal with the Ricci situation.
We just need to be on our own.
I think this is it.
Military boot camp is my idea of heaven.
Captain Cock Sucker, here to suck you off.
See me later.
It's time to full-on have a proper house party.
Fucking well happen.
We are knee deep in clunge, it's fucking ridiculous.
I am standing there, looking like an absolute wanker.
(shouting)
Fuck off!
(screaming)
Everyone's just pure kicking off.
Fuck!
I hope that he's gone forever.
I don't ever wanna see him again.
I should have a degree in pulling women.
I am a Geordie girl with a V.I.P. edge.
If you look up pulling in the dictionary,
my name's next to it.
I would never kiss anyone without a six-pack.
Get me in this house 'cause I'm gonna tear the place up.
I could talk the back legs off a donkey.
Got the looks, got the charm-- it just works.
I'm fit, I'm flirty, and I've got double Fs.
The hardest graft I've ever done was doing me hair.
(all) Geordie Shore, why aye!
¶
The house party was a pure disaster.
And Charlotte and Gary had a massive row.
And, once again, he stormed off,
leaving her to cry her eyes out.
Gary's left us with a broken heart, a broken foot,
and I don't think I'm ever gonna get over
what he's done to us this time.
(Gary) To be fair,
last night just got totally out of hand.
(phone ringing)
Hello?
Good morning.
Yeah, here, two seconds.
So we've got Anna on the blower,
and she wants to talk to Charlotte.
I reckon it's about last night.
(grunts)
Charlotte just went too far this time.
Like, I reckon Anna is gonna be fucking foaming.
Hi, Anna.
I know.
I know what I did was wrong, but Anna doesn't realize
how much of a dick Gary was actually being.
Okay, bye.
Bye.
(hanging up phone)
I can't believe I've been kicked out of the house.
I never, ever wanna see Gary again.
(Scott) So Charlotte's gotta go,
and we don't know whether she's gonna come back or not.
We're all gonna miss her,
and I'm gutted it's had to come down to this.
I'm so fucking angry
that my best friend is having to leave this house
for something that Gary has done.
At the minute, if Gaz and Charlotte
are living under the same roof,
I think they'll probably rip each other's heads off.
Right, Dan, you get the heavy one.
Ow, God. Right, right.
(laughter)
(Gary) I know Charlotte's leaving,
but I just can't go down and say goodbye.
I just can't talk to her at the minute.
See youse, everyone.
Bye, Charlotte. I love you.
Yeah, Charlotte.
Go on!
I can see your asshole.
Oh, my--
Bye! Bye!
See you!
(Holly) This might be the last time
that I'm actually gonna see Charlotte for ages.
There's 35, 40 girls, and there's five lads.
What am I going to do, lock me self in a cupboard?
She needs to understand that, like...
I know. you don't feel the same way.
Gary just sat there like he's done nothing wrong.
It's hard to live in a house with someone
that's took our friend away from us.
So there's a massive divide in the house,
and I don't even wanna be in the same room as Gary,
especially with that diseased, rotten,
falling-to-bits parsnip.
Ricci's left, now Charlotte's gone as well.
I just don't know how much more of this I can take.
(crying) You shouldn't have done that.
You shouldn't have brought that girl upstairs.
(sighing)
Oh, God.
Only thing that would make them girls happy now
is stringing me up, chopping me fucking dick off.
What the hell am I supposed to do?
Scramble, Egg, and Toast now have no mother.
That's the term.
Yeah, it's actually in the dictionary.
It should be, like, taken out.
That's like surely not politically correct.
I just really hope that Charlotte comes back
because it's just not gonna be the same without her.
Yeah.
(phone ringing)
(Anna) Hi.
Hi... Scotty.
So Anna's had-- we're all over fucking Europe,
taking care of hen and stag dos.
I wonder where she's gonna put us this time.
Shut up, Anna. That's pretty good.
Fucking wicked, we're all off to the French Alps.
Hopefully, this will take everyone's mind
off Charlotte leaving.
What's the score?
Guess where we're going.
Where?
French Alps.
Is it? Aye.
Skiing.
Skiing is fucking amazing.
But with Charlotte not here, it is gonna be weird.
Hello.
Scott walks in.
What the fuck does he want now?
We got the French Alps.
No way. Aye.
Skiing.
It should be really good news.
I should be excited.
But all I can think about is the fact
that Ricci won't be there and Charlotte won't be there.
And, for me, that just takes the shine off it slightly.
I get what you're doing, Holly.
I've used this technique all the time.
(James) The one thing I've always wanted
to take off the list is skiing.
Perfect comb-over, tick.
Wicked bird, tick.
Unreal skier, about to be ticked.
I hope them French Alps are ready,
'cause the Geordies are coming.
The snow, mountains-- it's absolutely freezing.
I think we finally found somewhere colder than Newcastle.
Is this where we're staying?
Kind of chill out, let's see what's inside.
This chalet is gonna have to be pretty fucking decent
to top the pad we had in Barcelona, 'cause that was epic.
All they got is bunk beds.
Fucking no chance am I staying in bunk beds.
Bunk beds? This is so exciting.
I'll have the top bunk.
(Gary) This is the living room.
Oh, wow... (gasping).
The chalet is amazing.
It's exactly what I would have expected from a skiing holiday.
It's so cozy-- there's an open fire.
Cute up here.
Telling you right now, we're getting the best rooms.
Should the girls have the upstairs?
Yeah.
I need a room for me self.
The others don't know what I'm doing,
but I've invited Joel to come tomorrow.
Girls are taking the upstairs!
No. (both) Yeah.
Youse got the double beds?
The lads can't spoon.
I'm thrilled to ribbons-- the girls are upstairs,
we've got the best rooms,
and the boys are downstairs with the fucking shit ones.
Not that it matters to Scott and Gaz 'cause they love
lying in bed and sucking each other off anyway.
Upstairs is nice then?
Yeah, it's lush. We're loving it. Bugsy.
We may be all the way in the French Alps,
but the boy-girl divide from Newcastle
has definitely came with us.
Tell 'em.
Ah, look down... (laughing)
Hey, girls, girls...
Fuck right off, James.
You can sleep on the fucking balcony
and freeze your bollocks off for all I care.
(all laughing)
It's gonna be fucking wicked out here like skiing tomorrow.
First, our night. (sighs)
How you feeling about it, though?
No, I know.
All these trips, me and Charlotte have done.
In Amsterdam, we kind of got back together.
In Prague, she-- looked after her she was sick,
and we spent 11 nights together.
In Barcelona, she told us she loved us.
And now I'm skiing without her. It's shit.
For once, I feel like, why should I
be out gallivanting with birds when she's not even here?
So Gaz is saying that he doesn't feel right pulling
'cause Charlotte's not here?
He needs to fucking wind his neck in.
This is the perfect opportunity.
Girls, we're off. We'll see you at the pre-bar.
Why are youse not waiting for us, like?
The boys have gone ahead to the club without us.
What a brunch of pricks.
¶ Girls party, like we're in the Alps ¶
¶
Good thing about these ski resorts
is that they're full of posh unibirds.
Skiing, we're skiing.
I've discovered why heels aren't such a good idea in the show.
Whoo! Hold me hand.
(giggling)
Aah! Oh, God, Vicky.
¶
(Vicky) The bar's great, but there's one distinct feature missing,
and that's Charlotte.
And we all know why she's not here.
I can tell everyone's missing Charlotte.
I'm missing Charlotte,
but we need to make the best of a bad situation.
I need to talk to Vicky about it 'cause I need her on my side.
This whole Gary and Charlotte situation
has been going on for as long as I can remember.
I miss Charlotte more than them.
But I still want us all
to have a good time on our last trip away.
I don't agree with what he's done to Charlotte,
and I don't agree with the way he's treating her,
but right now, I want this to be a family trip,
and we need to all get along.
I'm glad me and Vicky have kind of sorted it out.
'Cause now we'll all be together and have a wicked night.
¶
So everyone's having an unreal night,
and Scotty T., he's being extra flirty.
Aah!
So Scott is all over me, and I'm thinking,
"Does he want to bang me now?"
So Scott is now asking me if I wanna get dusted on an Alp.
Obviously.
Fucking Holly is gagging for a bit of my French horn tonight.
I don't know what's going on in Scott's head,
but he's leading Holly on.
Is he gonna just shag her or not?
¶
Vicky seems to be getting on fine now.
Ricci who?
I'm in the Alps, and I fucking love it!
I'm in the Alps!
I'm fucking mortal.
This is definitely not me. It must be the fucking altitude.
The girls are all fucking wasted.
It's time to get them home.
Oh, God.
Ohh!
Frozen butt cheeks, what could be worst than that?
Nipple cripple. Ahh!
Let's all victimize Dan.
So Vicky's giving me straight vodka,
and I'm absolutely mortal.
Cheers.
All I can think about is how horny I am, and right now,
I really just wanna go and crawl into Scott's bed.
No offense, Holly, but you're smashed and you fucking stink.
So I crawled into bed with Scott,
and he's not having none of it.
And I'm thinking, "Why? I'm so horny.
Just please have sex with me now."
Nee joy tonight.
Curse that fucking pie.
¶
I'm so hung-over.
It's the morning after the night before, and I'm fucking hanging.
To make matters worse,
I've discovered I've been sick in the sink.
Is this what being single feels like?
This is what being single and drunk feels like.
I woke up this morning, I can't even see out of me left eye.
But I can tell by my vagina that I didn't have sex.
That may be something to do with the fact
that your eyes aren't open.
Well, they're open now.
Nobody wants to buck a blind lady.
(Gary) We're in the Alps doing Geordie Tours.
There's nothing better than waking up,
looking out the window, it's snowing.
There's massive mountains everywhere.
You can see people on the slopes.
I just need to get out there.
Actually surprised how fucking good last night went for me.
I'm pleased me and Vicky have made up.
It'll make things a lot easier, and we'll have a better time.
Hungry Holly strikes again.
But there's no way I was touching that frosty fanny.
My God, why is it so bright?
I can't see.
Physical activity of any way, shape, or form
is just not on the menu for me this morning.
And what I'm afraid that we're doing?
Fucking skiing.
(whimpering) I don't like it.
This is possibly the most hung over
that I've ever been in my entire life,
and there's no way I'm getting on the slopes.
Shock, Holly doesn't wanna go skiing.
You all right?
She'd rather sit in the chalet and suck someone off.
So Holly's saying that she doesn't like physical exercise.
Wait a minute, she wasn't saying that
when she wanted to get fucking body pumped off me last night.
(laughing)
All I'm hoping for is that the ski instructors are fit,
because if they are, my day will be made.
Are you here for skiing?
(all) Yeah.
Good.
The ski instructors look like porn stars.
One of them has the biggest moustache
I've ever seen in me life.
Feel like he's gonna come round,
fix me boiler, and bend us over the washer.
That's what French people find attractive.
What, moustaches? Yeah.
The instructors wanna say we'll go one at a time
to kind of work out how good we are, and Holly's up first.
No, please, no, I don't want to.
The other skis?
Oh, no, God. Oh, God.
I don't understand why people would put all this effort
into going up to the top of the mountain
and then just throwing themselves off it.
I'm scared of... weather.
You can't control it-- like, why is all this snow here,
and what's under the snow?
Oh, my God, I'm going backwards.
I've never been skiing before,
but you can spot a shit skier from a mile off.
I can't stop, I don't know how to stop!
Aah!
(screaming) Help!
I predicted-- Holly is the ultimate worst.
(Holly screaming)
I don't like it!
I don't know how to stop.
I fucking hate skiing.
It's Vicky's turn to go down the slope.
And you can tell, she's still rough off last night.
I am still drunk-- I'm absolutely mortal.
The only good thing that could come of it
is that I get to see I'm pissed on the piste.
Vicky and Holly on them slopes are fucking shit.
It's time for me on the slopes to show 'em how it's done.
Clearly, I'm the best.
Skiing, shock, has turned into just another
massive dick-measuring competition.
It's like everything else, I'm probably mint at it.
(both laughing)
It's hard for anyone to look good with this many layers on.
But somehow, yet again, I've pulled it off.
This is fucking mad!
Dan is shit at it.
He's got all the gear, but no idea.
¶
So you put the pole between your... legs?
Yeah, I can do that.
Heh heh.
(Sophie) I'm absolutely glad Charlotte's not skiing.
Imagine the whole place being full of yellow snow.
Yeah, bitches!
Hey, you were fantastic, it was very good.
For your first morning, you ski very well, very well.
Thank fuck that's over.
(all cheering)
I've heard going skiing isn't about skiing.
It's about the après-ski, which basically means,
you get pissed after being on the piste.
Yay! Ski!
I knew I was never, ever gonna be good at the skiing thing.
But this bit, I'm gonna be really, really good at.
So we're all at the après-ski, getting pissed,
and I'm thinking,
"What the hell? Where's Joel?"
He's supposed to be here now.
Hi, Joel! Hi, nice to see you.
Didn't expect you to come here, eh... hmm?
Can you imagine my fucking disgust when in walks Joel
and ruins my fucking après ski?
Après prick!
(indistinct chatter)
(Gary) What the fuck is Joel doing here?
If anyone should be surprising us
with a little guest appearance, it should've been Charlotte.
¶
We're all back from the après ski bar,
and I'm lining me stomach with ham sandwiches,
ready for tonight's antics.
The phone rings, it's Anna.
Shit, you forget that we're not just here to enjoy ourself.
We're here to fucking work.
Already dusting us up.
We won't-- we--
Yeah, we won't touch any girls.
Anna says it's a bar crawl.
But that gives me an idea.
Joel has always been a bit of a tit.
Tonight, I'm giving him one last chance
to prove himself with the lads.
This is gonna be the hardest graft he's ever done.
He's normally used to just putting a CD in
and pressing a button, which goes, "DJ Joel Corry."
What the hell?
Why does Anna want Joel to go to work?
(Anna) Look after him.
We will. No we won't.
Joel better behave on this bar crawl,
especially with the bloody Buck Squad.
(Sophie) Gary!
We're getting pissed.
He's allowed to drink. You're not his mum.
Get your boots on, son, you're coming with Gaz.
¶
So we arrive at the bar crawl.
And the place is rammed to the teeth with posh fanny.
How do you do?
Would you like some cheese and wine with your cock?
(all shouting indistinctly)
Posh hens in the Alps.
They won't know what fucking hit them.
"I'm not posh." Oh, my God.
I'm not.
I'm working in a ski resort.
What the hell do you dance for?
(Gary) Joel isn't pissed enough yet.
I wanna get him that smashed
that he's dribbling from his mouth in the next bar.
Everyone's pondering the subject
of why Joel's been sent to work with the boys.
And to be entirely honest, I couldn't really give a fuck.
Gary didn't even know.
He fucking walked in the room, right,
and was like, "Oy, we got to work, Joel.
Anna said you've gotta come." And Joel's like,
"Oh, okay... ye-yeah?"
So what, Gary said that Anna said
that he has to take Joel to work?
That's gotta be a joke.
I know that the lads don't really like Joel,
and I just hope that they're not giving him a hard time.
(all cheering)
We're trying to get Joel smashed.
I've got the whole bar chanting his name.
(laughter)
There's no way he can back down. Get it in.
Go, go, go, go.
We always bugger Joel hard.
To be fair, the kid takes it well.
So me and Dan are cracking onto a couple of decent birds.
And Gaz is still on his best behavior.
I'm actually surprised.
I'm on the bar crawl, and I'm cracking on this plum bird.
And normally, I would have pulled her by now,
but I just can't because Charlotte's not here,
and it just doesn't feel right.
Dan is absolutely smashed again.
I thought it would've been Joel who couldn't handle his drink,
but he's been sound,
unlike fucking Tin Tin, the little wanker.
See you later on, Gary!
Whoo!
Finish work, back to the house.
And I am absolutely wasted.
Girls. (whistling)
We're back.
My boobs are looking fucking amazing in the Alps.
I am thinking if I move to the Alps,
like I won't have to get another boob job.
Where's Dan?
He's having a shit.
Oh, no, he's having a wee.
Dan, finish your wee-wee.
Last night was incredible, today's been unreal.
I've got such high hopes for tonight.
It's minus three, and there's snow everywhere.
But we're "Geordie Shore" girls,
so it's six-inch heels and short skirts all round.
Oh, man.
¶
It's me second night out in the Alps,
and I've got Joel with us.
How perfect can this be?
Joel's telling me that he's bonded with the boys.
And I hope that's true.
Yeah, yeah.
This is all I've ever wanted.
I'm so glad the boys have finally realized
Joel's a nice lad.
¶ And I know
¶ Nothing lasts forever, ever, ever... ¶
Everyone's getting on, everyone's having shots,
everyone's dancing.
What the fuck, we're actually all together again.
¶ Ever, so give me a hand...
(Holly) So tonight is mint,
and even James is being like a little bit friendly.
Gotta be the altitude.
Are the girls daft, wanting a dance-off with us?
We're gonna absolutely wipe the floor with them.
I'm having such a good time, and I slipped up,
and I'm like, "Whoa, shit, me skirt's just ripped
all the way up the back."
I really hope that my ass isn't completely hanging out.
I am absolutely mortal.
I've not been this drunk in a long, long, long time.
Dan is smashed.
He's talking shit, and there's no chance
he's bringing anyone home tonight.
I reckon he's gonna end up like Gaz was in Prague
with his head down the fucking toilet.
Not long ago, I wasn't even talking to these girls,
and I was getting blanked.
Now I'm helping them out of the club
and carrying them to taxis.
How the fuck does that work?
Dan's asking for it, having a wee in the snow
with his pants around his ankles.
Ohh!
(high-pitched laugh)
Hashtag shriveled dick.
So we all get back to the chalet,
and Dan is fucking mortal.
Dan is gonna be hanging out his fucking ass tomorrow.
It was second morning in the Alps,
and we're going skiing.
But I'm knackered, I didn't get a fucking wink of sleep.
I hope you've had a fucking night's sleep.
Dan farted and snored all night.
You snore like a fucking wildebeest.
I need some water and a sandwich
and I'll be fucking laughing.
I've heard the best cure for a hangover
is fresh French Alps air.
I'm starting to think this is a very bad idea.
Man up, Dan, get your skis on-- we're going down the slopes.
(Dan) Hangover plus skiing
equals disaster.
(sighs)
There's only one place for me, and that's bed.
I'm dragging my sorry ass back to that chalet.
¶
Scott cannot let me be better at anything.
So I'm hitting a black run.
The kid's like Bambi on fucking ice, but he's still behind us.
He just can't give up.
While Scott and Gaz go to suck each other off in the slopes,
the rest were off horse riding.
Oh, my God, you have some canny nice horses.
(all) Yeah.
Does it have like a pouch to put me drink in?
Why is all the horses shitting all over the place?
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
So I'm trying to get on this horse.
I can normally open me legs quite wide,
but in these trousers, it's just not possible.
I can't. I can't, I can't.
I don't think Holly's cut out for life outside Newcastle.
She cannot ski, she cannot horse ride.
I don't think she can do many physical activities,
to be honest, apart from sucking people off.
So I'm really, really, really struggling to get on this horse.
So this little horse man gets me this stepladder-- perfect.
Whoa, chill out, brah.
(Holly) Oh, yeah, I'm riding, I'm riding, I'm riding.
So I'm sat on the back of this horse, and the trotting motion
is giving me a really weird feeling in me fairy.
And I'm thinking, I don't really know what to do
because I'm at on a horse and I'm getting really quite horny.
Oh, my God.
I thought the girls would be a lot better than this, mate,
the amount of experience they've had riding.
I'm gonna fall. I daren't touch it.
Put your leg over the back of the horse,
and then just-- you just slide off.
So we finished horse riding, and I can't get off this horse
because the man hasn't brought the steps.
And James is actually holding this horse for me.
I'm thinking, "Why is he being nice?"
There, now jump. Ooh!
Oh, God, I've just actually hit that one in the face.
So now is the perfect time to kind of try
and clear the air with James once and for all.
I don't wanna leave things on, like, bad terms or anything.
Holly just wants to make sure
that everything's fine between us.
Fair enough, I don't wanna leave on bad terms, either.
When I spoke to you last time on the bus, like,
and I thought that would be it, and I thought
we could move on from it
and we could be friends. I was angry then.
I didn't want to be friends then. Exactly.
Because of the way that you treated us
when we came back in the house.
It does kind of get me down thinking that, yeah,
we once did used to be friends,
and we won't ever have that again.
There's only a couple of days left.
We both have our reasons, do you know what I mean?
And we'll just be mature about it.
And everyone leave on a high.
I'm glad that me and Holly have cleared the air,
and we're not gonna be leaving on bad terms.
Oh, fuck.
I'm not flirting, for God sake, don't even go any--
like anywhere near that word ever again.
(Vicky) I haven't heard from Dan all day,
so I'm just gonna check on him
to make sure he's not dying from alcohol poisoning or shame.
Have you suffered today?
Get off. Go on.
(laughing) Tell you what.
I was trying to put a brave face on, but I couldn't do it.
I'm so angry at me self.
Not for getting in such a state last night,
but for everything that I've missed out on.
Get yourself some rest.
Drink your water.
Me and the girls are off to see a man about an igloo.
(Vicky) I have tried a number of times to educate these girls
to introduce a little bit of culture into their lives.
And I have failed miserably because they won't drink
anything other than vodka or fucking cum.
But right now, I am taking them fucking wine tasting
whether they like it or not,
and I'm taking them in a fucking igloo!
I hate wine. I hate cold, but I'm--
Not cold, but I just don't like Eskimo.
There is no Eskimo.
What's wrong with Eskimos?
I just don't like them.
Eskimos are make believe.
No, they're not. Yes, they are.
No, they're not. Oh, my God.
(yawning) Please tell me we're not having this conversation.
What the fuck?
What do they teach kids in Middleborough schools?
Fucking blow jobs, that's what they teach 'em!
Oh, my God, it's amazing!
We all get in the igloo, and to be honest, I'm not that scared
'cause it doesn't look that much colder
than a night out in Newcastle, anyway.
A very nice igloo you've got here.
Thank you very much.
I thought Eskimos lived in igloos,
not some tall, posh boy.
Cheers, girls. What would happen if someone jumped on it?
Nothing, you could park a car on it now.
Shut up, man. Cheers.
So I'm sitting in an igloo with the girls,
drinking fine wines
and educating them about the French Revolution.
A little bit of information about this, uh,
glass that you've got here.
Marie Antoinette, who was
the last Queen of France... Yep.
...she actually had this type of glass
molded on her left breast
and gave it to the king, Louis XVI. What?
She's got a canny flat tit.
Oh, my God, like imagine if somebody made a glass mold
out of my tits?
Think of that. Mine would be like this.
(laughter) You'd have to give them
a champagne bucket.
I think it's really nice.
I'm more of a vodka person, if I'm honest.
I am clearly the only one who appreciates the wine.
Ooh, a rosé.
Do you like rosé? I do indeed.
Vicky loves wine, and this is always what happens.
If we ever do anything that involves wine,
she is always the one mortal.
Why aye.
Wine tasting is over.
I'm smashed, fucking buzzing.
After a long day on the slopes,
me and Scott head back to the hotel,
and we find this little hidden gem, an outdoor heated pool.
It's fucking amazing.
(all laughing)
This place is like, to be fair, in the fucking snow.
It's a real shame that Ricci couldn't join with us.
But Joel's been proper sound, he's been one of the lads.
This is the perfect way to end a perfect trip.
It's been good, really good, hasn't it?
Right, the blues.
Right now, me and Joel are destroying
the "Geordie Shore" relationship curse.
It pains us to say that Joel is growing on me as a human being.
I'm so disappointed in me self.
Skiing was an amazing way to end our time together
as the "Geordie Shore" family.
It's the best trip I've ever fucking had.
The Alps has been absolutely wicked.
Now it's time to head back to Newcastle
for one last night of carnage.
¶
¶ Huh
¶ Are you ready
¶ Huh
Home.
So we're back from France,
and we're all absolutely knackered off the traveling,
but it's our last chance to have a family night out.
Will you call Ricci?
Aye.
Tonight is the last night,
and it just won't be the same unless everyone's there.
I want Ricci to be out.
I'll ring Ricci, the girls ring Charlotte.
I'm pleased Vicky suggested getting everyone back together
for the last night out.
Bye.
One down.
I'm dead excited to see Ricci
'cause it's been quite a while.
But at the same time, I'm slightly apprehensive.
(glasses clinking) Whoo!
So Ricci's in, now we've just gotta convince Charlotte
and hope she'll come out too.
We're missing you! Missing you.
(Vicky) Come out tonight with us for our last night out.
Please?
What? What?
Oh... I thought Charlotte was actually gonna come out.
I'm actually really gutted.
What a fucking nob Gary is.
I can understand where she's coming from.
Like it's still not gonna be nice for her and Gary
even to be in looking distance at each other.
She won't come 'cause of you, Gaz.
It hasn't been that long, and I still think she needs time
to get her head round everything that's happened.
I'm gutted that Charlotte can't make it out tonight.
But Ricci's coming, so we'll absolutely smash it.
¶
They're so huge!
(laughter)
It's our last night, so we're gonna have to make sure
we go out with a bang.
Ricci's coming out as well, buzzing.
Ricci's still not here yet.
And the longer he takes to arrive,
the more nervous I'm getting.
I don't know what's coming over us, but I'm a fucking wreck.
(indistinct chatter)
When Ricci walks in, I'm expecting him
to be pleased to see me, to make a beeline for us.
The last thing I'm expecting
is a complete and utter custard fucking pie in the face.
Blah!
(Sophie) I look over at Gary,
and he's having a mint time.
And I think, "You're the reason why my best friend isn't here."
I thought we were over this.
But Sophie cannot see it from mine or the lads' point of view.
I can never get through to him, ever.
The worst part is when she'll crawl in my bed
in the middle of the night.
I can't stop that, so she's leading herself on.
¶ I wanna please her
When I see Vicky, she looks gorgeous.
And it reminds me of what I've lost.
And that really fucking hurts.
When Ricci finally does come over,
it's so nice to speak to him.
A couple weeks ago, this was the man I was gonna marry.
What a fucking turnaround.
It's great to see Vicky, but she is right.
We do need some more time apart.
We're all in the best mood ever because it's the last night.
We've been through so much this time,
and I think we just need to absolutely smash it.
None of the lads have asked about pulling.
It's family night tonight,
and we wanna celebrate with everyone.
(indistinct chatter)
For fuck's sake, it's took until the final fucking night
to realize that they can't just have fun with us as a family.
(all cheering)
Dicks.
I'm so glad that Ricci came out for the final night.
He's part of the family,
and it just wouldn't have been the same without him.
¶
It's such an odd sensation to say good-bye to Ricci.
Good to see you.
Good to see you, too.
I'm missed him coming home with us.
But I suppose I'm gonna have to get used to doing
a lot of things on my own now.
I still don't know whether this is the end of Vicky and Ricci
or if we're just on a break.
I guess only time will tell.
(Scott) The last night was unreal--
no drama, no kick-offs.
It's mint to see everyone getting along,
and I'm gonna be gutted to say bye to them tomorrow.
¶
¶ You send me into overdrive
¶
(Holly) The night has been fucking amazing,
and we all end up cuddled up together on the sofa
as a family.
¶ Yeah
¶
Morning!
Wake up this morning,
and it hits us like a ton of bricks that
this is the last morning we're gonna wake up together.
(feigning sobbing)
One thing I won't miss
is fucking Holly squealing like a pig
every single morning when she's hung-over.
(whimpering loudly)
(imitating Holly's whimper)
I just can't believe
it's the last time we're gonna wake up in this room.
Fuck, it's a fucking tit. What do you mean?
I'm really gonna miss these bunch of scruffy twats.
¶ We are the three best friends that anybody could have ¶
¶ We are the three best friends ¶
¶ That anybody could have
¶ And we'll never ever, ever, ever, ever leave each other ¶
We've bonded, and it's like three brothers,
and I'm gonna miss it so much.
Everyone's packing, but I keep looking at the fish.
They need their mum,
so I'm gonna get them and take them to Charlotte.
I'm more or less packed, so I'm just gonna
take Scramble, Egg, and fucking Toast.
You're gonna take the fish to Charlotte's house?
Gary decides he's gonna take the fish to Charlotte's house?
I don't think this is a good idea.
I wish you all the best of luck to try and get my friend
to answer the door for you.
The only thing Charlotte cares more about than me and Sophie
is them stupid fish.
So for once, I'm gonna try and do something nice.
I'm going.
You're off, eh?
Aye, you're not staying to tidy up, like?
No. (laughter)
I'll skip that part.
Taking the fish to Charlotte's,
I don't know what it'll achieve.
But, at the end of the day,
this has what our relationship has came down to.
I've got a fish tank with three fucking goldfish in it
called Scramble, Egg, and Toast,
and I'm about to deliver them to her house.
What the hell has happened?
(whistles)
We all know that Gaz has made some mistakes with Charlotte,
but hopefully, they can work things out.
It's time to leave the house, and I'm taking Dan with us.
But hold on, I think I forgot something.
Hey!
James has got me a leaving gift: ham.
Fuck, I didn't see that one coming.
I'm gonna miss you, you little ham connoisseur, you.
Bye, James. See you later.
It has been very awkward between me and Holly,
but that's the way it had to be.
But now we know where each other stand.
Be yourself! Bye!
We used to be best friends, and it is sad that that's now gone.
See you soon, yeah?
I'll fuckin' see you soon.
See you. See you soon, son.
Take care.
I reckon the chances of seeing James again are quite slim
now that he's always wifed in with Kate.
Girls, I'm off.
This time on "Geordie Shore," I can't remember half of it,
but I've had an absolutely fucking mint time.
(laughing)
(Scott) If I had to change one thing,
it would be the couple of times I got with Holly
when I was drunk.
And now were friends,
but I don't want anything more than that.
See youse later.
(Holly) Bye, Scott.
Love youse to bits.
We "wove" you.
(laughter)
I'm actually gonna miss waking up every morning
with me three little best friends,
and having a gossip and having a nutter.
And I just think you can't get friends like that.
I've changed so much.
I've gone from being engaged to single.
I've got some pretty big decisions to make about Ricci.
I'm looking forward to having my own space to do that.
Right. Bye.
Bye!
You do not take Charlotte home.
Aww. You're her replacement.
Thanks.
Obviously Charlotte is me best friend,
and I know that it's gonna be harder
knowing that I don't know whether she'll ever come back.
Bye, house.
Miss you. I'll miss you.
Next time, we'll be back with everyone.
Hopefully.
Even though they all do me head in sometimes,
we are like a proper family, and it's amazing.
(Holly) Whoo!
I don't know if Charlotte will answer the door and punch us.
Answer the door and take the fish.
Not answer the door at all.
But at least I'm trying to make amends.
(doorbell ringing)
Truth is, if Charlotte didn't come out of that house,
my life would be ten times easier.
But I've missed everything about Charlotte being in that house,
and it would be shit.
She needs to come back.
The one thing that stood out with me this whole time
in the house is Charlotte saying, "I love you."
That is next level shit, and I haven't a fucking clue
what it means or what's gonna happen.
(phone bleeps)
But the mad thing is, with me and Charlotte, I always know,
no matter how much time she needs or how much time I need,
or whatever happens, somehow or other we'll always come back.
Somehow.
¶
¶ Everyone's here to party
¶ If you wanna go wild, if you wanna go wild ¶
¶ Everyone's here to party
¶ If you wanna go wild, if you wanna go wild ¶
¶ Everyone's here to party
¶ If you wanna go wild, if you wanna go wild ¶
¶ Everyone's here to party
¶ Let's party hard, you wanna go wild ¶
¶ Let's party, party, you wanna go wild ¶
¶ Let's party hard, wanna go ¶
¶ Who done, who done, who done, who done, who done ¶