1 00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:08,607 (woman) "Geordie Shore" is back. 2 00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:11,810 What the hell is going to happen this time? 3 00:00:11,812 --> 00:00:13,011 Geordie Tours. 4 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:13,911 What? 5 00:00:13,913 --> 00:00:15,312 Across Europe. 6 00:00:15,314 --> 00:00:15,745 Yes! 7 00:00:15,747 --> 00:00:17,446 She's sending us to Europe. 8 00:00:17,448 --> 00:00:20,582 What happens on tour stays on tour. 9 00:00:20,584 --> 00:00:23,351 Bring on the fucking carnage. 10 00:00:23,353 --> 00:00:25,486 Hardcore double sex. 11 00:00:25,488 --> 00:00:27,421 Dust this, buck that. 12 00:00:27,423 --> 00:00:28,054 Sex machine. 13 00:00:28,056 --> 00:00:29,388 The fucking thing will blow up. 14 00:00:29,390 --> 00:00:31,556 Everybody's noticing that there's an atmosphere 15 00:00:31,558 --> 00:00:32,790 between me and James. 16 00:00:32,792 --> 00:00:35,325 James is being a massive dickhead. 17 00:00:35,327 --> 00:00:36,959 Let's get fucking smashed. 18 00:00:36,961 --> 00:00:38,193 (cheering) 19 00:00:38,195 --> 00:00:40,495 Don't be a fool, wrap your tool. 20 00:00:40,497 --> 00:00:44,332 Gary's turned up and I don't give a shit. 21 00:00:44,334 --> 00:00:46,367 He's all over her like a fanny rash. 22 00:00:46,369 --> 00:00:48,669 What the fuck has happened to Charlotte? 23 00:00:48,671 --> 00:00:53,373 I'm in control and then all of a sudden, I want to shag him. 24 00:00:53,375 --> 00:00:53,906 (moaning) 25 00:00:53,908 --> 00:00:55,574 Starts bouncing on top of us, 26 00:00:55,576 --> 00:00:57,542 screaming in fucking Holly's ear. 27 00:00:57,544 --> 00:01:00,811 Why the fuck are they having sex right next to me in the bed? 28 00:01:00,813 --> 00:01:03,814 Ugh, that's making me feel sick now. 29 00:01:04,615 --> 00:01:06,682 I should have a degree in pulling women. 30 00:01:06,684 --> 00:01:08,550 I am a Geordie girl with a VIP edge. 31 00:01:08,552 --> 00:01:10,618 If you look up 'pulling' in the dictionary, 32 00:01:10,620 --> 00:01:11,652 my name's next to it. 33 00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:13,020 I would never kiss anyone without a six-pack. 34 00:01:13,022 --> 00:01:15,522 Get me in this house 'cause I'm gonna tear the place up. 35 00:01:15,524 --> 00:01:17,657 I could talk the back legs off a donkey. 36 00:01:17,659 --> 00:01:19,325 Got the looks, got the charm. 37 00:01:19,327 --> 00:01:19,858 Just works. 38 00:01:19,860 --> 00:01:21,726 I'm fit, I'm flirty and I've got double Fs. 39 00:01:21,728 --> 00:01:24,795 The hardest graft I've ever done is doing me hair. 40 00:01:24,797 --> 00:01:26,163 "Geordie Shore"! 41 00:01:26,165 --> 00:01:27,764 Why aye! 42 00:01:29,032 --> 00:01:33,201 ¶ 43 00:01:36,505 --> 00:01:37,037 Fuck me. 44 00:01:37,039 --> 00:01:39,739 I'm in bed with the parsnip. 45 00:01:39,741 --> 00:01:42,641 Get off of us, man. 46 00:01:42,643 --> 00:01:44,476 I've got to get out of here now. 47 00:01:44,478 --> 00:01:49,581 Where the fuck did he sleep last night, the sneaky little twat. 48 00:01:49,583 --> 00:01:50,481 Oh, fuck. 49 00:01:50,483 --> 00:01:51,515 What's the matter with you? 50 00:01:51,517 --> 00:01:54,317 She got on top and started fucking banging us. 51 00:01:54,319 --> 00:01:56,018 Who? Charlotte. 52 00:01:56,020 --> 00:01:59,254 What the fuck? 53 00:01:59,256 --> 00:02:00,755 Sorry, Holly. 54 00:02:00,757 --> 00:02:04,925 Ugh, get your hands off me, you scruffy little bitch. 55 00:02:04,927 --> 00:02:05,859 Get over it, Holly. 56 00:02:05,861 --> 00:02:09,262 I've had to listen to you buck loads. 57 00:02:09,264 --> 00:02:10,429 Was it good? 58 00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:11,763 Weren't even that good. 59 00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:15,500 Oh God, I hate the disappointing ones. 60 00:02:15,502 --> 00:02:18,769 Them two have opened up a big can of worms. 61 00:02:18,771 --> 00:02:22,172 What happens in Amsterdam stays in Amsterdam. 62 00:02:26,243 --> 00:02:27,243 We've been in Amsterdam 63 00:02:27,245 --> 00:02:29,245 looking after stag and hen dos for big boss Anna, 64 00:02:29,247 --> 00:02:30,779 but right now, it's our final morning 65 00:02:30,781 --> 00:02:33,581 and we can't wait to get back to the toon. 66 00:02:33,583 --> 00:02:34,381 I'm in. 67 00:02:34,383 --> 00:02:36,282 Can I leave him behind? 68 00:02:39,352 --> 00:02:40,985 I had sex with Gary. 69 00:02:40,987 --> 00:02:41,719 Oh, shock. 70 00:02:41,721 --> 00:02:44,388 Who would have thought that would happen? 71 00:02:44,390 --> 00:02:46,056 Make my bacon sandwich, man! 72 00:02:46,058 --> 00:02:48,425 and lots of ketchup on as well, please. 73 00:02:48,427 --> 00:02:49,659 What is that noise? 74 00:02:49,661 --> 00:02:51,661 That's my future husband. 75 00:02:51,663 --> 00:02:54,830 ¶ 76 00:02:54,832 --> 00:02:57,999 (woman singing) ¶ Wanna dance, yeah 77 00:02:58,001 --> 00:02:59,667 Goodbye, houseboat. 78 00:02:59,669 --> 00:03:01,502 Goodbye, sex with Gary. 79 00:03:01,504 --> 00:03:04,238 Newcastle, we're coming home. 80 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,073 (imitates whistle) 81 00:03:08,676 --> 00:03:09,676 (blowing raspberry) 82 00:03:09,678 --> 00:03:12,679 Bye, you tossers. 83 00:03:22,756 --> 00:03:25,758 I'm so glad to be home! 84 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:26,859 Oh, my God. 85 00:03:26,861 --> 00:03:27,659 Home sweet home. 86 00:03:27,661 --> 00:03:30,695 Oh, Scrambled Egg is still alive! 87 00:03:30,697 --> 00:03:32,863 Oh, the water stinks. 88 00:03:32,865 --> 00:03:35,699 ¶ 89 00:03:35,701 --> 00:03:37,333 Now I'm back, I'm just gonna play the whole, like, 90 00:03:37,335 --> 00:03:40,202 that was an Amsterdam thing, you know what I mean? 91 00:03:40,204 --> 00:03:41,336 'Cause it's with Charlotte. 92 00:03:41,338 --> 00:03:43,905 I just can't go down that path already. 93 00:03:43,907 --> 00:03:44,839 It's too early. 94 00:03:44,841 --> 00:03:47,208 Do not let me go home with her. 95 00:03:47,210 --> 00:03:48,542 I'll fucking slap you if you do, like. 96 00:03:48,544 --> 00:03:49,576 Obviously me and Charlotte, 97 00:03:49,578 --> 00:03:50,977 what happened in Amsterdam stays in Amsterdam. 98 00:03:50,979 --> 00:03:53,446 I'm back in Newcastle, I'm part of the Buck Squad 99 00:03:53,448 --> 00:03:54,647 and I'm gonna go fucking nuts. 100 00:03:54,649 --> 00:03:58,117 I just hope she doesn't go fucking nuts. 101 00:03:58,351 --> 00:04:01,586 I've missed me boyfriend Joel so much while I've been away, 102 00:04:01,588 --> 00:04:02,620 so I'm gonna give him a call 103 00:04:02,622 --> 00:04:05,889 and hopefully, he's missed me as much as I've missed him. 104 00:04:05,891 --> 00:04:08,758 (call ringing through) Hello? 105 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:09,592 Hiya. 106 00:04:09,594 --> 00:04:10,626 Hi, you all right? 107 00:04:10,628 --> 00:04:11,793 What the fuck is wrong with him? 108 00:04:11,795 --> 00:04:14,128 What's going on between me and you? 109 00:04:14,130 --> 00:04:14,628 Nothing. 110 00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:15,829 I'm not going through this again. 111 00:04:15,831 --> 00:04:17,397 We just scraped through last time. 112 00:04:17,399 --> 00:04:20,533 I'm telling you right now you've been gone for three days 113 00:04:20,535 --> 00:04:22,868 and it doesn't feel like I've got a girlfriend. 114 00:04:22,870 --> 00:04:25,203 Basically, what it sounds like to me 115 00:04:25,205 --> 00:04:26,904 is that he's trying to break up with us. 116 00:04:26,906 --> 00:04:29,506 I need to see Joel tonight. 117 00:04:29,508 --> 00:04:31,074 ¶ 118 00:04:31,076 --> 00:04:33,409 What I'm scared is that when I see him, 119 00:04:33,411 --> 00:04:35,844 it's gonna be like, "Oh, my God." 120 00:04:35,846 --> 00:04:37,345 I don't know what's going to happen, 121 00:04:37,347 --> 00:04:39,347 I don't know what he's gonna say. 122 00:04:39,349 --> 00:04:40,348 I'm shitting meself. 123 00:04:40,350 --> 00:04:42,950 I think once you see him, it'll be fine, like. 124 00:04:42,952 --> 00:04:46,119 I think he's gonna miss you, you're missing him. 125 00:04:46,121 --> 00:04:48,754 I'm telling Sophie that everything's gonna be all right, 126 00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:51,423 but, like, we all know that Joel's been a dick 127 00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:54,392 and who knows what he's gonna do. 128 00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:56,460 Oh, you going? 129 00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:57,794 Yeah, I'm going. 130 00:04:57,796 --> 00:04:58,494 Soph. 131 00:04:58,496 --> 00:04:59,795 Good luck-- have a good time. 132 00:04:59,797 --> 00:05:02,564 Me and Sophie are the only two people left in the house 133 00:05:02,566 --> 00:05:04,732 with relationships going on outside of it. 134 00:05:04,734 --> 00:05:06,834 So I'm the only person who understands 135 00:05:06,836 --> 00:05:08,302 what she's going through. 136 00:05:08,304 --> 00:05:10,804 I hope she's all right, like. 137 00:05:10,806 --> 00:05:12,539 ¶ 138 00:05:12,541 --> 00:05:13,840 (phone ringing) 139 00:05:13,842 --> 00:05:15,041 The phone rings and it's Anna. 140 00:05:15,043 --> 00:05:16,509 You've got a job tonight. Okay. 141 00:05:16,511 --> 00:05:17,943 Who's at work? For James and Dan. 142 00:05:17,945 --> 00:05:19,844 They need to be on the limo bus. 143 00:05:19,846 --> 00:05:22,279 They need to serve the girls 144 00:05:22,281 --> 00:05:23,413 and they just need to make sure 145 00:05:23,415 --> 00:05:24,614 that they have a really good time. 146 00:05:24,616 --> 00:05:26,182 But please, behave themselves, okay? 147 00:05:26,184 --> 00:05:26,982 They need to behave. 148 00:05:26,984 --> 00:05:28,917 No problem, Anna, I'll let them know. 149 00:05:28,919 --> 00:05:29,751 Thank you, bye. Bye. 150 00:05:29,753 --> 00:05:33,354 She's thinking, "Hmm, who can I pick that won't flirt with girls 151 00:05:33,356 --> 00:05:35,155 and will probably just sit in the corner 152 00:05:35,157 --> 00:05:36,723 and repulse everyone?" 153 00:05:36,725 --> 00:05:37,523 James and Dan. 154 00:05:37,525 --> 00:05:40,592 Tonight, James and Dan are at work on the party bus. 155 00:05:40,594 --> 00:05:42,260 (shouting) Yay! 156 00:05:42,262 --> 00:05:44,095 On what? On what? 157 00:05:44,097 --> 00:05:44,728 On the limo bus. 158 00:05:44,730 --> 00:05:47,263 So Anna wants me and James to go and serve drinks 159 00:05:47,265 --> 00:05:49,632 to a hen party on a limo bus. 160 00:05:49,634 --> 00:05:51,266 Fucking we can nail that. 161 00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:54,702 Please can she remind youse to not buck them on the bus. 162 00:05:54,704 --> 00:05:57,337 Howay, I think I'm alreet-- how about you? 163 00:05:57,339 --> 00:05:59,572 I'm gonna be the boss, seeing as how I've got a bird. 164 00:05:59,574 --> 00:06:02,308 I'm going to kick back and let him do all the graft. 165 00:06:02,310 --> 00:06:04,310 You never know, he might pull. 166 00:06:04,312 --> 00:06:07,546 ¶ 167 00:06:09,382 --> 00:06:14,252 So I go to the restaurant and shock, Joel is late. 168 00:06:14,254 --> 00:06:15,786 Where the bloody hell are you? 169 00:06:15,788 --> 00:06:18,522 I feel nervous, I'm sweating like a fat lass. 170 00:06:18,524 --> 00:06:22,626 I don't know what to do and I'm starting to get the shakes. 171 00:06:22,628 --> 00:06:27,530 And then he comes, in a fucking onesie. 172 00:06:27,532 --> 00:06:29,431 Even though he's dressed like a twat, 173 00:06:29,433 --> 00:06:30,899 he's got us a bunch of flowers. 174 00:06:30,901 --> 00:06:34,836 A bunch of flowers to a girl changes everything. 175 00:06:34,838 --> 00:06:36,170 Thank you for driving. 176 00:06:36,172 --> 00:06:37,137 It's all right. 177 00:06:37,139 --> 00:06:38,371 I've missed you so, so much. 178 00:06:38,373 --> 00:06:39,638 I've missed you loads as well. 179 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:41,206 What was all that fuss about? 180 00:06:41,208 --> 00:06:41,806 Joel seems fine. 181 00:06:41,808 --> 00:06:44,375 All that worrying for absolutely nothing. 182 00:06:44,377 --> 00:06:46,243 Shall we just order some food? 183 00:06:46,245 --> 00:06:46,943 I'm starving, man. 184 00:06:46,945 --> 00:06:49,612 Do you want to get a starter? 185 00:06:49,614 --> 00:06:50,346 Fucking starter. 186 00:06:50,348 --> 00:06:52,348 Now I know everything's definitely all right 187 00:06:52,350 --> 00:06:55,617 and I can fix this with a kiss. 188 00:06:55,818 --> 00:07:00,855 Relationship's sorted, but what the fuck does he look like? 189 00:07:00,857 --> 00:07:02,089 You're dressed in a onesie, 190 00:07:02,091 --> 00:07:04,257 your hair's not right and you've got a beard. 191 00:07:04,259 --> 00:07:05,258 My hair is right! 192 00:07:05,260 --> 00:07:07,593 This is the best my hair's ever been. 193 00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:08,560 Do you not like it? 194 00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:11,162 It looks like a tidal wave to the side. 195 00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:12,263 This is fresh. 196 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,798 It's not. This is fresh. 197 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,966 This is what fresh looks like. 198 00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:17,434 ¶ 199 00:07:17,436 --> 00:07:21,371 Anna's got us work on a limo bus for a hen party. 200 00:07:21,373 --> 00:07:21,871 Wicked. 201 00:07:21,873 --> 00:07:23,772 Leave us a little bit of fanny at Bijoux, yeah? 202 00:07:23,774 --> 00:07:25,940 Just a little bit. Bring some with you? 203 00:07:25,942 --> 00:07:26,974 I'm gonna, I'm gonna try. 204 00:07:26,976 --> 00:07:29,309 As long as they're not all fucking trolls. 205 00:07:29,311 --> 00:07:30,910 Even Gaz and Scott I think are happy for us 206 00:07:30,912 --> 00:07:32,578 'cause they're fucking encouraging us 207 00:07:32,580 --> 00:07:34,580 to bring girls back with us. 208 00:07:34,582 --> 00:07:35,847 See you later. 209 00:07:35,849 --> 00:07:37,315 Have fun. 210 00:07:37,317 --> 00:07:40,418 ¶ 211 00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:44,722 I'm imagining like, seven, like, butch women 212 00:07:44,724 --> 00:07:47,858 with pink cowboy hats, whistles. 213 00:07:47,860 --> 00:07:48,758 Ready for you. 214 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,960 All of them's just gonna be waiting for you. 215 00:07:50,962 --> 00:07:52,962 My God, man, don't say that. 216 00:07:52,964 --> 00:07:55,364 James has got a girlfriend, so the pressure's on me. 217 00:07:55,366 --> 00:07:59,601 If these girls are dry, it's my job to get them wet. 218 00:08:00,302 --> 00:08:01,235 All right? 219 00:08:01,237 --> 00:08:02,202 How youse doing? 220 00:08:02,204 --> 00:08:05,338 You're all lively on yas. 221 00:08:05,340 --> 00:08:06,238 Fuck, who died? 222 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:08,273 There's no atmosphere, there's no music. 223 00:08:08,275 --> 00:08:09,340 The drinks aren't flowing. 224 00:08:09,342 --> 00:08:13,243 Me and James gonna get this party started. 225 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:18,714 Dan is looking for a girl. 226 00:08:18,716 --> 00:08:21,349 Let's go home. 227 00:08:22,217 --> 00:08:24,318 I'm giving the customers exactly what they want. 228 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:27,688 The drinks are flowing, people are dancing. 229 00:08:27,690 --> 00:08:29,289 Got some bird doing the splits. 230 00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:31,758 We should be fucking doing this full-time. 231 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:33,826 Off, off, off! 232 00:08:33,828 --> 00:08:35,661 Whoo! 233 00:08:35,663 --> 00:08:38,363 This one girl comes across and pounces on us. 234 00:08:38,365 --> 00:08:42,667 Fuck it, I'm a dedicated employee of Geordie Tours. 235 00:08:43,902 --> 00:08:45,636 I'm not quite sure how Anna's gonna react, 236 00:08:45,638 --> 00:08:48,939 whether she's gonna tan me ass or give us a high five. 237 00:08:48,941 --> 00:08:51,808 Either way, #bothered. 238 00:08:51,810 --> 00:08:53,910 Dan. 239 00:08:53,912 --> 00:08:55,211 Where you going? 240 00:08:55,213 --> 00:08:55,678 Wicked. 241 00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:57,246 Looks like I bagged a worldie. 242 00:08:57,248 --> 00:08:58,947 Where are you going? 243 00:08:58,949 --> 00:08:59,814 Probably the same. 244 00:08:59,816 --> 00:09:01,382 Bijoux as well, yeah? Yeah. 245 00:09:01,384 --> 00:09:03,550 Right, well, get yourself there, we'll see you there. 246 00:09:03,552 --> 00:09:05,552 All right then. Yeah. 247 00:09:05,554 --> 00:09:06,286 Right then. 248 00:09:06,288 --> 00:09:07,720 Right, nice one, see you in a bit. 249 00:09:07,722 --> 00:09:10,956 Wait until the Buck Squad see this one. 250 00:09:10,958 --> 00:09:14,759 ¶ 251 00:09:18,597 --> 00:09:19,597 Hi. 252 00:09:19,599 --> 00:09:20,397 What the fuck? 253 00:09:20,399 --> 00:09:24,834 Sophie's just arrived with a giant walking American flag? 254 00:09:24,836 --> 00:09:26,202 Oh, no, wait. 255 00:09:26,204 --> 00:09:27,403 It's just Joel. 256 00:09:27,405 --> 00:09:28,804 In a onesie. 257 00:09:28,806 --> 00:09:29,671 Twat. 258 00:09:29,673 --> 00:09:30,705 Joel, what is that? 259 00:09:30,707 --> 00:09:32,740 Did you go out for dinner in that? 260 00:09:32,742 --> 00:09:35,743 So you sat in Marco Polo's tonight like that? 261 00:09:35,745 --> 00:09:38,645 Bell-end, bell-end. bell-end! 262 00:09:38,647 --> 00:09:40,380 Who the fuck does that? 263 00:09:40,382 --> 00:09:43,750 Joel, um, me and Holly and joined forces 264 00:09:43,752 --> 00:09:46,252 to be like, the Cock Capturers. 265 00:09:46,254 --> 00:09:47,186 Cock Capturers. 266 00:09:47,188 --> 00:09:49,221 Charlotte and Holly are the Cock Capturers. 267 00:09:49,223 --> 00:09:51,323 It's their cute little alliteration 268 00:09:51,325 --> 00:09:54,192 and an excuse for being massive slags. 269 00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:55,793 How many have you captured already? 270 00:09:55,795 --> 00:09:57,561 Um, well, none so far. 271 00:09:57,563 --> 00:10:00,630 Okay, so we haven't captured any cocks yet, 272 00:10:00,632 --> 00:10:02,598 but when the competition kicks off tonight, 273 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:07,603 I know that we're going to kick the Buck Squad's ass. 274 00:10:09,439 --> 00:10:12,574 They haven't even got a handshake. 275 00:10:12,576 --> 00:10:14,242 Amateurs. 276 00:10:14,244 --> 00:10:17,545 End of the day, the Cock Capturers want a little battle. 277 00:10:17,547 --> 00:10:20,314 They're going up against me and fucking Scott. 278 00:10:20,316 --> 00:10:22,316 They can't handle their drink, we can. 279 00:10:22,318 --> 00:10:24,284 There's only gonna be one winner. 280 00:10:24,286 --> 00:10:28,221 Does what happened in Amsterdam really stay in Amsterdam? 281 00:10:28,223 --> 00:10:28,554 Yep. 282 00:10:28,556 --> 00:10:29,721 The funny thing about Charlotte 283 00:10:29,723 --> 00:10:31,522 is she's gotta try to keep up this façade. 284 00:10:31,524 --> 00:10:34,324 This act that, "Yeah, I've just fucked Gary. 285 00:10:34,326 --> 00:10:35,625 "Nailed and bailed. 286 00:10:35,627 --> 00:10:36,759 "Smashed and gnashed." 287 00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:37,659 Like she's not bothered. 288 00:10:37,661 --> 00:10:39,293 But we all know that's not true. 289 00:10:39,295 --> 00:10:40,394 I felt really all right, you know? 290 00:10:40,396 --> 00:10:43,597 And I've been thinking to myself how am I feeling so all right. 291 00:10:43,599 --> 00:10:44,497 This is really weird. 292 00:10:44,499 --> 00:10:47,800 I am genuinely feeling really strong this time 293 00:10:47,802 --> 00:10:51,003 and will not be going back to the parsnip. 294 00:10:51,005 --> 00:10:53,138 ¶ 295 00:10:56,942 --> 00:10:59,410 It's our first night out back in Newcastle. 296 00:10:59,412 --> 00:11:00,277 Amsterdam has been done. 297 00:11:00,279 --> 00:11:03,813 Now it's time to hit the Bijoux and get stuck in them students. 298 00:11:03,815 --> 00:11:06,782 (cheering, whooping) 299 00:11:07,617 --> 00:11:10,919 ¶ 300 00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:15,823 Tonight is all about the Cock Capturers versus the Buck Squad. 301 00:11:15,825 --> 00:11:17,357 Fucking bring it on. 302 00:11:17,359 --> 00:11:19,525 We get to the Bijoux, it's fucking rammed. 303 00:11:19,527 --> 00:11:22,327 All I can see is birds everywhere. 304 00:11:22,329 --> 00:11:25,263 It is so good to be home. 305 00:11:25,664 --> 00:11:28,298 Usually, me and Charlotte are quite chelp, pulling. 306 00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:30,366 But now that we're rivaling the Buck Squad, 307 00:11:30,368 --> 00:11:31,734 we have got to beat them. 308 00:11:31,736 --> 00:11:33,936 I will not lose at this game. 309 00:11:33,938 --> 00:11:34,970 How do we do it? How do we-- 310 00:11:34,972 --> 00:11:37,939 Do we just point and someone and be like, "You, come here." 311 00:11:37,941 --> 00:11:39,674 Like that? Yes! 312 00:11:39,676 --> 00:11:41,042 Really? Yes! 313 00:11:41,044 --> 00:11:44,845 Scotty fucking T. drags two wicked birds in. 314 00:11:44,847 --> 00:11:46,446 One for me, one for Gaz. 315 00:11:46,448 --> 00:11:49,882 The Buck Squad is definitely back in action. 316 00:11:49,884 --> 00:11:53,452 I'm watching Gary kissing and I don't feel anything. 317 00:11:53,454 --> 00:11:54,519 I'm empty. 318 00:11:54,521 --> 00:11:55,419 Nothing. 319 00:11:55,421 --> 00:11:56,887 It was just going perfectly. 320 00:11:56,889 --> 00:11:59,556 So the Buck Squad have pulled and we're thinking, Right. 321 00:11:59,558 --> 00:12:01,090 There's quite a lot of good-looking boys 322 00:12:01,092 --> 00:12:03,525 and all we need to do is just pull one of them. 323 00:12:03,527 --> 00:12:06,661 Let's get drunk and then let's do it. 324 00:12:08,363 --> 00:12:09,696 It can't be that hard. 325 00:12:09,698 --> 00:12:11,497 Shall I tap his back? 326 00:12:11,499 --> 00:12:14,466 Oh, shit, I tapped the wrong person. 327 00:12:14,468 --> 00:12:15,500 Fuck me-- I'm a cock, 328 00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:20,171 and I definitely wouldn't want to be captured by one of them. 329 00:12:20,839 --> 00:12:22,539 All of a sudden, Dan's bird, 330 00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:25,575 who he necked on with on the bus, comes in. 331 00:12:25,577 --> 00:12:26,342 This is too easy. 332 00:12:26,344 --> 00:12:28,210 Looks like I'm getting some action tonight. 333 00:12:28,212 --> 00:12:33,348 Me and Scott were saying Dan cannot fail to pull on a hen do. 334 00:12:33,350 --> 00:12:34,649 And the rotter failed. 335 00:12:34,651 --> 00:12:36,951 You did not neck on with her? 336 00:12:36,953 --> 00:12:39,153 They've told us to pull, so I pulled. 337 00:12:39,155 --> 00:12:40,787 There's no pleasing these two. 338 00:12:40,789 --> 00:12:42,021 What the fuck? 339 00:12:42,023 --> 00:12:44,757 Go on, Daniel, have a go at her. 340 00:12:44,759 --> 00:12:45,524 I'm not bothered. 341 00:12:45,526 --> 00:12:46,992 There's nothing wrong with this girl, but fuck it, 342 00:12:46,994 --> 00:12:49,260 it's not worth the grief I'm getting from the Buck Squad. 343 00:12:49,262 --> 00:12:51,795 So I wanna run away and hide at the back of the club. 344 00:12:51,797 --> 00:12:57,433 I'll be a couple of minutes, I'm just going to the toilet. 345 00:12:57,934 --> 00:12:58,967 Can I sit here for two minutes? 346 00:12:58,969 --> 00:13:02,236 I'm just trying to hide from a girl in here. 347 00:13:02,238 --> 00:13:05,806 So this wicked brunette, who I'm with, has got a mate 348 00:13:05,808 --> 00:13:07,174 and it's her birthday. 349 00:13:07,176 --> 00:13:08,475 Standard procedure. 350 00:13:08,477 --> 00:13:10,276 Four-way kiss. 351 00:13:10,278 --> 00:13:13,112 His tongue touches mine-- fucking hell! 352 00:13:13,114 --> 00:13:14,613 He's gone with everyone in Newcastle. 353 00:13:14,615 --> 00:13:18,617 It was only a matter of time before he tried it on with me. 354 00:13:18,619 --> 00:13:23,254 I'm going to show every boy in this club that I am free, single 355 00:13:23,256 --> 00:13:26,123 and ready for me fanny to mingle. 356 00:13:26,125 --> 00:13:27,791 Go on, fanny! 357 00:13:27,793 --> 00:13:29,425 I'm going. 358 00:13:29,859 --> 00:13:32,160 I can't do it, I can't do it. 359 00:13:32,162 --> 00:13:33,161 You can! 360 00:13:33,163 --> 00:13:33,761 I can't do it! 361 00:13:33,763 --> 00:13:36,964 The first boy we meet has got a girlfriend. 362 00:13:36,966 --> 00:13:38,732 The second boy we meet-- 363 00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:39,766 Me tits are sweaty. 364 00:13:39,768 --> 00:13:41,400 Has also got a girlfriend. 365 00:13:41,402 --> 00:13:43,735 Are you disappointed? 366 00:13:43,737 --> 00:13:44,869 Yeah. 367 00:13:44,871 --> 00:13:46,303 The third boy we meet-- 368 00:13:46,305 --> 00:13:47,704 You've got a lot of drinks there. 369 00:13:47,706 --> 00:13:49,639 Gives us a drink and we're thinking, 370 00:13:49,641 --> 00:13:50,706 "Right, you're a winner." 371 00:13:50,708 --> 00:13:53,375 He's got a fucking girlfriend again. 372 00:13:53,377 --> 00:13:54,309 Girlfriend. 373 00:13:54,311 --> 00:13:57,378 We get pied three times? Three? 374 00:13:57,380 --> 00:13:59,747 Are you for fucking real? 375 00:13:59,749 --> 00:14:02,483 ¶ 376 00:14:08,656 --> 00:14:09,889 Shock. 377 00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:12,524 Joel is completely mortal. 378 00:14:12,526 --> 00:14:13,825 One more. 379 00:14:13,827 --> 00:14:14,859 I'm all right. 380 00:14:14,861 --> 00:14:16,727 No, you've already had loads. 381 00:14:16,729 --> 00:14:19,296 You won't be able to have sex. 382 00:14:19,298 --> 00:14:19,796 I will. 383 00:14:19,798 --> 00:14:21,130 You won't. Trust me, I will. 384 00:14:21,132 --> 00:14:23,665 He better be all right 'cause now that we've made up, 385 00:14:23,667 --> 00:14:27,635 I want to go home and I want to him to shag us senseless. 386 00:14:27,637 --> 00:14:31,438 It's my first night back in Newcastle and it's fucking shit. 387 00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:33,039 All the singles are off on the pull. 388 00:14:33,041 --> 00:14:35,741 All the couples are necking on with each other. 389 00:14:35,743 --> 00:14:36,641 I'm left by meself. 390 00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:42,313 I don't know how much longer I can cope without seeing Kate. 391 00:14:42,547 --> 00:14:45,783 Me and Charlotte are on the dance floor and we're panicking. 392 00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:47,518 There's no one up here. 393 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,186 What are we gonna do? 394 00:14:49,188 --> 00:14:50,320 I know, I know, I know. 395 00:14:50,322 --> 00:14:53,389 What about that little person there, we'll three-way kiss him. 396 00:14:53,391 --> 00:14:54,022 No, no, no. 397 00:14:54,024 --> 00:14:55,490 Right, okay, okay, okay. 398 00:14:55,492 --> 00:14:57,458 I'm running out of options here. 399 00:14:57,460 --> 00:14:58,292 And I need to pull, 400 00:14:58,294 --> 00:15:01,395 so I grab the nearest boy to us and he's got a massive 'tache, 401 00:15:01,397 --> 00:15:06,900 and I'm taking 'Tashe on to the next levels. 402 00:15:06,902 --> 00:15:08,534 Thank you so much. 403 00:15:08,536 --> 00:15:10,636 Charlotte's necking on, so I just turn 'round 404 00:15:10,638 --> 00:15:13,772 and I neck on with the first person I see. 405 00:15:13,774 --> 00:15:14,839 Buzzing. 406 00:15:14,841 --> 00:15:16,740 Congratulations! 407 00:15:16,742 --> 00:15:17,974 Charlotte is on fire. 408 00:15:17,976 --> 00:15:20,576 She's doing brilliantly. 409 00:15:20,578 --> 00:15:22,544 And then she goes and pulls a Charlotte 410 00:15:22,546 --> 00:15:24,345 and gets fucking mortal. 411 00:15:24,347 --> 00:15:27,381 "Someone take us home, please." 412 00:15:27,383 --> 00:15:28,548 Sorry, single cocks. 413 00:15:28,550 --> 00:15:31,150 Better luck next time. 414 00:15:38,825 --> 00:15:41,293 The thing that really pisses me off about Gary 415 00:15:41,295 --> 00:15:42,994 that he entirely ignores Charlotte 416 00:15:42,996 --> 00:15:44,295 for the majority of the night. 417 00:15:44,297 --> 00:15:45,663 Then when she gets a little bit too drunk 418 00:15:45,665 --> 00:15:47,665 and me and Ricci have done the lion's share 419 00:15:47,667 --> 00:15:48,732 of getting her into the house, 420 00:15:48,734 --> 00:15:50,667 he comes sweeping in like a knight in shining armor, 421 00:15:50,669 --> 00:15:52,735 acting like he fucking cares about her loads. 422 00:15:52,737 --> 00:15:53,869 Obviously I do care about her. 423 00:15:53,871 --> 00:15:56,304 We've been through a lot and I know her better than anyone. 424 00:15:56,306 --> 00:15:58,439 I can't just have her passed on the sofa. 425 00:15:58,441 --> 00:16:01,275 So I pick her up and I put her to bed. 426 00:16:01,277 --> 00:16:02,442 He's not a knight in shining armor, 427 00:16:02,444 --> 00:16:05,878 he's a cunt with a quiff, and that's about fucking it. 428 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:08,347 The others can deal with drunk Charlotte this time. 429 00:16:08,349 --> 00:16:10,949 My lad's here and I want to go to the shag pad 430 00:16:10,951 --> 00:16:14,886 and bounce on his big fat cock. 431 00:16:15,387 --> 00:16:16,353 He can't even get up. 432 00:16:16,355 --> 00:16:19,189 How the fuck am I supposed to have sex 433 00:16:19,191 --> 00:16:22,859 with someone who is so drunk? 434 00:16:22,861 --> 00:16:24,594 So then we're in bed together. 435 00:16:24,596 --> 00:16:26,162 I'm starting to get a bit horny. 436 00:16:26,164 --> 00:16:27,596 And I'm starting to forget about how drunk he is. 437 00:16:27,598 --> 00:16:30,966 And maybe him being drunk, we can experiment more things 438 00:16:30,968 --> 00:16:35,870 'cause everyone knows drunken sex is the best sex. 439 00:16:38,406 --> 00:16:41,574 You're so wet, Soph. 440 00:16:41,576 --> 00:16:45,544 Then all of a sudden, it turns into really weird sex. 441 00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:51,483 Sex that I've never experienced with Joel. 442 00:16:51,485 --> 00:16:53,751 Joel. 443 00:16:53,753 --> 00:16:55,886 What was with all the bum? 444 00:16:55,888 --> 00:16:56,820 What? 445 00:16:56,822 --> 00:16:57,554 You fucker. 446 00:16:57,556 --> 00:16:59,622 There's a first time for everything, innit? 447 00:16:59,624 --> 00:17:01,357 Fucking hell, I'm fucked. 448 00:17:01,359 --> 00:17:04,827 It's like a tornado's gone right up me asshole. 449 00:17:04,829 --> 00:17:07,196 Sorry about that. 450 00:17:07,198 --> 00:17:08,630 Was it good though? 451 00:17:08,632 --> 00:17:10,431 Hmm, it was nice. 452 00:17:10,433 --> 00:17:12,699 Oh, sweet. 453 00:17:12,701 --> 00:17:14,233 It's been a fab night. 454 00:17:14,235 --> 00:17:15,500 I haven't ended it with me boyfriend. 455 00:17:15,502 --> 00:17:19,504 We're together and we've just had the best sex ever. 456 00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:22,206 I love ya. 457 00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:23,540 Oh, fuck! 458 00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,441 What the fuck? 459 00:17:25,443 --> 00:17:26,208 I love you. 460 00:17:26,210 --> 00:17:28,543 What are you doing? I love you. 461 00:17:28,545 --> 00:17:29,644 All right, sweet. 462 00:17:29,646 --> 00:17:30,478 Say it back. 463 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:32,379 Aye, aye I love you. 464 00:17:32,381 --> 00:17:35,181 ¶ 465 00:17:37,617 --> 00:17:40,885 Feels amazing to wake up in this house with me boyfriend here 466 00:17:40,887 --> 00:17:43,888 and I know that our relationship is just now content. 467 00:17:43,890 --> 00:17:48,359 But it's going to be hard for us to say bye to him again. 468 00:17:50,261 --> 00:17:51,527 It's mine and Vicky's anniversary today 469 00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:56,532 and the one thing I know she loves is breakfast in bed. 470 00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:57,966 Joel and Sophie have stole the shag pad, 471 00:17:57,968 --> 00:18:01,703 but me and Vicky are going to be having breakfast al fresco. 472 00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:04,739 I wake up and Ricci's made me breakfast in bed. 473 00:18:04,741 --> 00:18:05,740 Only I'm not in bed. 474 00:18:05,742 --> 00:18:07,241 I'm on a fucking balcony. 475 00:18:07,243 --> 00:18:08,442 Bit like Romeo and Juliet. 476 00:18:08,444 --> 00:18:11,178 Ricci, I'm so hung over, I can't put this in me face yet. 477 00:18:11,180 --> 00:18:14,714 Only I stink of Jaeger bombs and the eggs are fucking shit. 478 00:18:14,716 --> 00:18:16,315 I love you, Ricci Guaranaccio, 479 00:18:16,317 --> 00:18:18,483 despite the fact that you can't cook eggs 480 00:18:18,485 --> 00:18:22,053 to save your fucking life. 481 00:18:22,354 --> 00:18:24,455 I love you. Love you. 482 00:18:26,424 --> 00:18:29,692 I haven't spoke to Kate since getting back from Amsterdam, 483 00:18:29,694 --> 00:18:31,393 so I'm going to give her a quick call 484 00:18:31,395 --> 00:18:33,228 and see how much she's missed us. 485 00:18:33,230 --> 00:18:35,930 (call ringing through) Hello? 486 00:18:35,932 --> 00:18:38,365 You all right? Yeah. 487 00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:38,865 Good. 488 00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:42,201 Having a girlfriend whilst being in the "Geordie Shore" house 489 00:18:42,203 --> 00:18:45,537 is harder than I ever would have imagined. 490 00:18:45,539 --> 00:18:46,738 I miss you, Kate. 491 00:18:46,740 --> 00:18:48,439 I miss you, I just can't cope. 492 00:18:48,441 --> 00:18:51,241 I know-- I promise, everything's fine. 493 00:18:51,243 --> 00:18:53,476 It's not fine-- It's far from fine. 494 00:18:53,478 --> 00:18:56,779 Kate's stressing out about us being in the house with Holly. 495 00:18:56,781 --> 00:19:00,315 I've done nothing, Kate-- I haven't even spoken to Holly. 496 00:19:00,317 --> 00:19:02,717 Good, not a word. 497 00:19:02,719 --> 00:19:04,785 This phone call just proves I'm right. 498 00:19:04,787 --> 00:19:07,220 I need to keep me distance from Holly. 499 00:19:07,222 --> 00:19:09,889 I can't even remember seeing James. 500 00:19:09,891 --> 00:19:12,591 He's petrified of talking to any other girls 501 00:19:12,593 --> 00:19:13,391 in case it upsets her 502 00:19:13,393 --> 00:19:15,860 so I think he's pretty much got a lot of solo time ahead of him. 503 00:19:15,862 --> 00:19:18,596 I went through a stage of being upset about James, 504 00:19:18,598 --> 00:19:22,566 being angry about him, and now I just couldn't give a fuck. 505 00:19:22,568 --> 00:19:23,767 I'm just over it now. 506 00:19:23,769 --> 00:19:25,368 Nothing's gonna change. 507 00:19:25,370 --> 00:19:26,335 And yeah, I miss me friend, 508 00:19:26,337 --> 00:19:27,869 but I'm not going to fucking let him know that anymore. 509 00:19:27,871 --> 00:19:32,506 I'm just going to get fucking on with doing my own thing. 510 00:19:32,508 --> 00:19:34,975 Oh, I loved last night. 511 00:19:34,977 --> 00:19:36,409 I fucking loved it. 512 00:19:36,411 --> 00:19:38,411 I was like, necking on. 513 00:19:38,413 --> 00:19:39,578 Three-way necking on. 514 00:19:39,580 --> 00:19:41,146 Fuck it-- everything was mint. 515 00:19:41,148 --> 00:19:43,214 I was panicking that it was all gonna kick off again. 516 00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:44,615 I think Charlotte was panicking 517 00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:45,782 that it was gonna kick off again. 518 00:19:45,784 --> 00:19:47,550 But basically, what happened in Amsterdam 519 00:19:47,552 --> 00:19:49,685 actually stayed in Amsterdam. 520 00:19:49,687 --> 00:19:51,853 We both had a good night. 521 00:19:51,855 --> 00:19:53,254 It's been perfect. 522 00:19:53,256 --> 00:19:53,921 Who's proud? 523 00:19:53,923 --> 00:19:54,922 I'm proud of both of youse 524 00:19:54,924 --> 00:19:56,723 'cause youse both kissed someone new. 525 00:19:56,725 --> 00:19:58,858 Me and Holly, we did so well. 526 00:19:58,860 --> 00:20:00,793 We tashed on with two lads. 527 00:20:00,795 --> 00:20:03,262 When Gary was kissing the girl, 528 00:20:03,264 --> 00:20:06,398 do you know when I said I was that bit angry? 529 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:07,265 Yeah. 530 00:20:07,267 --> 00:20:08,699 I was none. 531 00:20:08,701 --> 00:20:09,399 Really? 532 00:20:09,401 --> 00:20:11,200 None, none, nothing. 533 00:20:11,202 --> 00:20:12,267 Well done, mate. 534 00:20:12,269 --> 00:20:13,801 I don't know whether she's saying this 535 00:20:13,803 --> 00:20:18,238 to try to convince us or convince herself. 536 00:20:19,473 --> 00:20:22,608 ¶ 537 00:20:24,210 --> 00:20:27,879 It's all tied between the Buck Squad and the Cock Capturers. 538 00:20:27,881 --> 00:20:30,481 But the competition has just begun. 539 00:20:30,483 --> 00:20:32,616 ¶ 540 00:20:34,952 --> 00:20:36,619 I've decided to take the competition 541 00:20:36,621 --> 00:20:38,554 between the boys and the girls up a notch. 542 00:20:38,556 --> 00:20:41,423 We're going go-karting and I'm going to show them who's boss. 543 00:20:41,425 --> 00:20:42,891 Who's up for coming go-karting? 544 00:20:42,893 --> 00:20:44,492 Scott, Dan! 545 00:20:44,494 --> 00:20:45,226 Go-karting? 546 00:20:45,228 --> 00:20:48,462 Why the fuck does Gary always come up with shit ideas? 547 00:20:48,464 --> 00:20:52,265 Can you get done for drink driving in a go-kart? 548 00:20:52,267 --> 00:20:53,199 I'm buzzing. 549 00:20:53,201 --> 00:20:54,767 I love karting. 550 00:20:54,769 --> 00:20:56,235 (phone ringing) 551 00:20:56,237 --> 00:20:57,202 Ah! 552 00:20:57,204 --> 00:20:58,937 What the hell? 553 00:20:58,939 --> 00:21:02,740 Hello? Hi-- can I speak to Dan, please? 554 00:21:02,742 --> 00:21:03,841 It's Anna. 555 00:21:03,843 --> 00:21:04,508 Oh fuck. 556 00:21:04,510 --> 00:21:06,643 I bet I know what she wants. 557 00:21:06,645 --> 00:21:07,477 Hello, Anna. 558 00:21:07,479 --> 00:21:08,811 It's been brought to my attention 559 00:21:08,813 --> 00:21:10,979 that you might have been a little bit too friendly 560 00:21:10,981 --> 00:21:12,480 with one of the hens. 561 00:21:12,482 --> 00:21:14,849 Oh yes. At the party the other day. 562 00:21:14,851 --> 00:21:15,916 Oh yeah, sorry about that. 563 00:21:15,918 --> 00:21:18,618 Not acceptable behavior. 564 00:21:18,620 --> 00:21:19,318 Right. 565 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,820 I want you to clean that limo bus from bumper to bumper. 566 00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:23,021 I can't believe I'm being punished. 567 00:21:23,023 --> 00:21:25,623 I should be rewarded-- I made that girl's night. 568 00:21:25,625 --> 00:21:28,859 I should be Employee of the Month. 569 00:21:28,861 --> 00:21:30,760 Bye. 570 00:21:31,361 --> 00:21:32,894 Gotta clean that fucking dirty limo bus 571 00:21:32,896 --> 00:21:36,163 while you going on the track with go-karts. 572 00:21:36,165 --> 00:21:37,464 Where are you gonna do? 573 00:21:37,466 --> 00:21:40,300 Gotta go clean that fucking scruffy bus. 574 00:21:40,302 --> 00:21:43,469 I'm sure it was worth it, Dan. 575 00:21:45,205 --> 00:21:45,804 Trying to bounce? 576 00:21:45,806 --> 00:21:50,441 Dan, fucking enjoy cleaning that fucking bus, kid-- haha! 577 00:21:50,443 --> 00:21:53,744 ¶ 578 00:21:59,684 --> 00:22:00,784 Absolutely love go-karting. 579 00:22:00,786 --> 00:22:06,022 I'm like Super fucking Mario, but with a huge bulge. 580 00:22:07,024 --> 00:22:08,758 ¶ 581 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:09,992 You here to clean the bus, are ya? 582 00:22:09,994 --> 00:22:11,893 Aye, that's me punishment. 583 00:22:11,895 --> 00:22:13,294 Right, there's your wash brush. 584 00:22:13,296 --> 00:22:13,994 There's your hose. 585 00:22:13,996 --> 00:22:16,496 And just start at the top, work your way down. 586 00:22:16,498 --> 00:22:17,463 Do a good job. 587 00:22:17,465 --> 00:22:19,298 Right, I'll cry on. 588 00:22:19,300 --> 00:22:22,434 (sighing) Really? 589 00:22:22,436 --> 00:22:24,335 Oh. 590 00:22:28,206 --> 00:22:29,539 My God, man. 591 00:22:29,541 --> 00:22:30,540 Why? 592 00:22:30,542 --> 00:22:31,908 ¶ 593 00:22:31,910 --> 00:22:32,808 I'll help you pull. 594 00:22:32,810 --> 00:22:34,376 I'm really good at that lately. 595 00:22:34,378 --> 00:22:36,344 Straightaway, Charlotte is bugging us. 596 00:22:36,346 --> 00:22:37,611 Me and Holly, the Cock crusaders, 597 00:22:37,613 --> 00:22:40,714 are actually doing better than youse two. 598 00:22:40,716 --> 00:22:42,382 No, we're drawing. 599 00:22:42,384 --> 00:22:43,750 The girls are running before they can walk. 600 00:22:43,752 --> 00:22:45,918 They think because they've necked on with a few lads 601 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:47,519 they're going to win this. 602 00:22:47,521 --> 00:22:48,887 Fucking behave. 603 00:22:48,889 --> 00:22:50,455 Watch us win. 604 00:22:50,457 --> 00:22:51,622 Bye, babe. 605 00:22:51,624 --> 00:22:52,356 "Babe"? 606 00:22:52,358 --> 00:22:54,524 I'm not your babe, you cheeky little fucker. 607 00:22:54,526 --> 00:22:55,925 I know for a fact I'm gonna win. 608 00:22:55,927 --> 00:22:58,394 It's not even gonna be a competition. 609 00:22:58,396 --> 00:23:02,664 Anything the Buck Squad can do, I can do better. 610 00:23:02,666 --> 00:23:04,732 ¶ 611 00:23:04,734 --> 00:23:07,835 (engines idling) 612 00:23:13,675 --> 00:23:14,474 (squealing) 613 00:23:14,476 --> 00:23:17,477 It looks like Charlotte can drive as well as she can pull. 614 00:23:17,479 --> 00:23:19,011 Someone get her some L-plates 615 00:23:19,013 --> 00:23:21,246 and stick 'em straight on her head. 616 00:23:21,248 --> 00:23:24,515 Stop it, you're making us angry! 617 00:23:25,884 --> 00:23:28,619 It'll be like a proper competition, like, everything. 618 00:23:28,621 --> 00:23:31,622 The Cock Capturers versus the Buck Squad. 619 00:23:31,624 --> 00:23:33,857 When is this shit gonna end? 620 00:23:33,859 --> 00:23:35,491 ¶ 621 00:23:35,493 --> 00:23:38,994 Cock Capturers versus Buck Squad is all well and good, 622 00:23:38,996 --> 00:23:39,861 but on nights out, 623 00:23:39,863 --> 00:23:42,864 I'm starting to worry that Charlotte's taking it too far. 624 00:23:42,866 --> 00:23:44,265 I don't want her to get too slaggy. 625 00:23:44,267 --> 00:23:45,633 Holly goes on about cock all the time, 626 00:23:45,635 --> 00:23:48,902 but then hearing about Charlotte, I was like, "Shit." 627 00:23:48,904 --> 00:23:50,370 I went, "Are you going out tonight?" 628 00:23:50,372 --> 00:23:51,537 She said, "Yeah, why not? 629 00:23:51,539 --> 00:23:52,571 I just want more cock." 630 00:23:52,573 --> 00:23:54,406 I was like, "Oh, no." 631 00:23:54,408 --> 00:23:57,809 I'm flying on these karts, having the best day ever. 632 00:23:57,811 --> 00:23:59,877 Dan's cleaning some limo bus. 633 00:23:59,879 --> 00:24:02,346 Do I feel guilty? No. 634 00:24:03,514 --> 00:24:03,946 Why? 635 00:24:03,948 --> 00:24:07,416 I should be karting, tanning the lads' asses 'round that track. 636 00:24:07,418 --> 00:24:11,453 Instead, I'm cold, wet, and pissed off. 637 00:24:11,455 --> 00:24:13,254 Ugh. 638 00:24:13,256 --> 00:24:15,389 Fuck off. 639 00:24:15,391 --> 00:24:18,492 ¶ 640 00:24:18,759 --> 00:24:23,796 To be fair, there was no doubt I was always gonna win. 641 00:24:23,798 --> 00:24:26,799 I nearly had you, Gary. 642 00:24:26,801 --> 00:24:28,333 Gary won-- so what? 643 00:24:28,335 --> 00:24:34,238 It's a pulling competition, not a stupid karting competition. 644 00:24:34,639 --> 00:24:37,007 The Buck Squad were victorious again. 645 00:24:37,009 --> 00:24:39,509 It's time for a lap of honor. 646 00:24:39,511 --> 00:24:41,544 You were with a girl last night! 647 00:24:41,546 --> 00:24:44,513 My fanny didn't even flinch! 648 00:24:44,515 --> 00:24:47,482 The final stage to getting over someone 649 00:24:47,484 --> 00:24:50,184 is hurling abuse at them. 650 00:24:50,186 --> 00:24:51,385 And it works. 651 00:24:51,387 --> 00:24:52,719 You're a shit shag! 652 00:24:52,721 --> 00:24:54,187 It really works. 653 00:24:54,189 --> 00:24:55,054 (laughing) 654 00:24:55,056 --> 00:24:57,356 I think Charlotte is doing a good thing here. 655 00:24:57,358 --> 00:24:59,725 Shouting abuse at the boy that you dislike 656 00:24:59,727 --> 00:25:03,929 but love at the same time when he can't hear anything at all. 657 00:25:03,931 --> 00:25:09,434 Your foreskin is so long it dangles down to your kneecap! 658 00:25:10,702 --> 00:25:12,569 (sighing heavily) 659 00:25:12,571 --> 00:25:14,704 Necking on that bird definitely wasn't worth it. 660 00:25:14,706 --> 00:25:17,873 Keep it in your pants and you'll not be here cleaning buses. 661 00:25:17,875 --> 00:25:20,642 I'll try, I'll try. 662 00:25:22,177 --> 00:25:24,811 (bucket clattering) 663 00:25:25,946 --> 00:25:29,114 ¶ 664 00:25:35,888 --> 00:25:37,555 (all sighing) 665 00:25:37,557 --> 00:25:39,189 Home sweet home. 666 00:25:39,191 --> 00:25:42,559 ¶ 667 00:25:43,060 --> 00:25:44,593 Tonight, everyone's off to Ricardo's 668 00:25:44,595 --> 00:25:47,195 to celebrate mine and Ricci's one-year anniversary 669 00:25:47,197 --> 00:25:49,130 and I'm really excited. 670 00:25:49,132 --> 00:25:52,233 ¶ 671 00:25:59,241 --> 00:26:01,442 Vicky's looking absolutely gorgeous. 672 00:26:01,444 --> 00:26:03,177 All the "Geordie Shore" family is here. 673 00:26:03,179 --> 00:26:05,846 What better way to celebrate our one-year anniversary? 674 00:26:05,848 --> 00:26:09,015 I can't actually believe a couple has managed to last 675 00:26:09,017 --> 00:26:11,317 this long in this fucking nut house. 676 00:26:11,319 --> 00:26:15,287 I want everyone just to say a big "Why aye" 677 00:26:15,289 --> 00:26:19,958 and a big one-year anniversary to Ricci and Vicky. 678 00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:20,925 Oh! 679 00:26:20,927 --> 00:26:23,394 Why aye! 680 00:26:23,396 --> 00:26:24,561 Happy anniversary. 681 00:26:24,563 --> 00:26:25,828 Well done, guys. 682 00:26:25,830 --> 00:26:27,196 So me and James are sitting apart 683 00:26:27,198 --> 00:26:28,463 from each other at the table 684 00:26:28,465 --> 00:26:31,098 and I'm thinking, "Why is this continuing? 685 00:26:31,100 --> 00:26:33,166 Why are you being so immature?" 686 00:26:33,168 --> 00:26:35,468 I can't be dealing with any of that shit. 687 00:26:35,470 --> 00:26:36,635 I still haven't spoke to her 688 00:26:36,637 --> 00:26:38,503 and tonight is definitely not the night. 689 00:26:38,505 --> 00:26:40,471 It's all about Vicky and Ricci. 690 00:26:40,473 --> 00:26:41,405 Do you think we broke 691 00:26:41,407 --> 00:26:43,106 the "Geordie Shore" relationship curse then? 692 00:26:43,108 --> 00:26:44,207 Hey, mine's (indistinct). 693 00:26:44,209 --> 00:26:46,275 Yeah, mine's actually happy for once as well. 694 00:26:46,277 --> 00:26:49,911 To your relationship and James' relationship as well. 695 00:26:49,913 --> 00:26:50,745 Thank you. 696 00:26:50,747 --> 00:26:51,979 Congratulations, guys. 697 00:26:51,981 --> 00:26:53,880 Me and you. 698 00:26:53,882 --> 00:26:54,380 Right now, 699 00:26:54,382 --> 00:26:56,482 I could cut the tension between Holly and James with a knife. 700 00:26:56,484 --> 00:26:58,417 I think she really needs some calming down. 701 00:26:58,419 --> 00:27:00,986 I know why he's doing what he's doing. 702 00:27:00,988 --> 00:27:02,053 He loves Kate. 703 00:27:02,055 --> 00:27:04,155 She's upset how close he is with you. 704 00:27:04,157 --> 00:27:05,222 It's not like I'm gonna go 705 00:27:05,224 --> 00:27:07,324 and jump on your boyfriend's cock, for God's sake. 706 00:27:07,326 --> 00:27:08,692 I've had enough of it. 707 00:27:08,694 --> 00:27:09,325 It bores me now. 708 00:27:09,327 --> 00:27:11,794 So you can feel free to have my sloppy seconds. 709 00:27:11,796 --> 00:27:14,096 Believe me from the bottom of me heart, right? 710 00:27:14,098 --> 00:27:15,363 It's his loss. 711 00:27:15,365 --> 00:27:16,230 Right? 712 00:27:16,232 --> 00:27:17,497 Because you were a great friend to him. 713 00:27:17,499 --> 00:27:19,265 I don't know why he doesn't just interact with her 714 00:27:19,267 --> 00:27:22,401 like a normal person would, and let this all blow over. 715 00:27:22,403 --> 00:27:24,569 This is like, the calm before the storm. 716 00:27:24,571 --> 00:27:28,072 It is going to kick off and I'm just waiting for it. 717 00:27:28,074 --> 00:27:29,039 Charlotte! 718 00:27:29,041 --> 00:27:31,474 To the single people. 719 00:27:31,476 --> 00:27:34,743 To the singles! Yay! 720 00:27:37,146 --> 00:27:38,279 Tonight's been amazing. 721 00:27:38,281 --> 00:27:39,280 Exactly what I wanted it to be. 722 00:27:39,282 --> 00:27:41,315 A great big celebration with all of our friends. 723 00:27:41,317 --> 00:27:43,150 Now they're off out on the lash 724 00:27:43,152 --> 00:27:47,020 and me and Ricci get some nice time at home on our own. 725 00:27:47,022 --> 00:27:47,920 We've had a lush meal, 726 00:27:47,922 --> 00:27:51,023 now it's off to continue the celebrations at Legends. 727 00:27:51,025 --> 00:27:52,190 I've never been before, 728 00:27:52,192 --> 00:27:56,460 but Scotty T. promises it's gonna be epic. 729 00:27:57,462 --> 00:27:58,261 Game's still on. 730 00:27:58,263 --> 00:27:59,929 It's mine and Gary's Buck Squad 731 00:27:59,931 --> 00:28:02,398 versus Holly and Charlotte's "Cock Capturers." 732 00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:05,534 Let's see who pulls the most tonight, girls. 733 00:28:05,536 --> 00:28:07,135 ¶ 734 00:28:07,137 --> 00:28:08,069 Sick club. 735 00:28:08,071 --> 00:28:09,503 Loads of wicked birds. 736 00:28:09,505 --> 00:28:10,370 Thanks, Scotty T. 737 00:28:10,372 --> 00:28:12,805 It's full of young girls for youse to buck, 738 00:28:12,807 --> 00:28:15,507 but all the boys are student geeks 739 00:28:15,509 --> 00:28:18,843 with curly perms and pale skin. 740 00:28:18,845 --> 00:28:20,377 ¶ 741 00:28:23,214 --> 00:28:25,215 Have you spoken to James yet? 742 00:28:25,217 --> 00:28:26,316 Are you joking? 743 00:28:26,318 --> 00:28:27,884 What? You joking? 744 00:28:27,886 --> 00:28:29,051 He won't even speak to us. 745 00:28:29,053 --> 00:28:30,886 It's a complicated situation between James and Holly. 746 00:28:30,888 --> 00:28:33,355 I know James doesn't want to piss off his girlfriend, 747 00:28:33,357 --> 00:28:36,958 but he hasn't got to be a prick to Holly. 748 00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:40,795 Every time somebody does something funny, silly 749 00:28:40,797 --> 00:28:44,398 or slightly embarrassing, you've got James in the fucking corner 750 00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:45,599 stood there with his water, 751 00:28:45,601 --> 00:28:47,100 looking down his nose at everyone. 752 00:28:47,102 --> 00:28:50,036 It's "Geordie Shore", not Geordie fucking bore. 753 00:28:50,038 --> 00:28:51,937 Scotty, I'm away now, like. 754 00:28:51,939 --> 00:28:53,772 Sophie wants to go home. No, man. 755 00:28:53,774 --> 00:28:55,340 Sophie wants to go home, so I'm gonna go with her. 756 00:28:55,342 --> 00:28:56,541 After me phone call with Kate today, 757 00:28:56,543 --> 00:29:01,145 the last place I want to be is in a nightclub with drunk Holly. 758 00:29:01,147 --> 00:29:03,981 So I'm going home and Sophie's coming with us. 759 00:29:03,983 --> 00:29:04,848 James has gone home. 760 00:29:04,850 --> 00:29:07,250 Again, he's missed his bird, he doesn't want to drink tonight. 761 00:29:07,252 --> 00:29:09,252 He's not really getting into the lads' kind of banter. 762 00:29:09,254 --> 00:29:11,587 But that's what happens when you get a girlfriend. 763 00:29:11,589 --> 00:29:13,722 Fuck off home, Granddad. 764 00:29:13,724 --> 00:29:16,725 ¶ 765 00:29:20,096 --> 00:29:22,397 Any of the boys looking better-looking 766 00:29:22,399 --> 00:29:23,998 now we've had more to drink? 767 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:25,366 I can't even see them. 768 00:29:25,368 --> 00:29:26,400 Me and Charlotte are ready. 769 00:29:26,402 --> 00:29:28,335 We're gonna capture all the cock. 770 00:29:28,337 --> 00:29:30,103 This is the Booth of Love. 771 00:29:30,105 --> 00:29:32,772 We found a booth and we're just dragging boys in 772 00:29:32,774 --> 00:29:34,206 and asking if they want to kiss. 773 00:29:34,208 --> 00:29:36,308 Most of them are saying no. 774 00:29:36,310 --> 00:29:37,008 What? 775 00:29:37,010 --> 00:29:38,175 Which I'm quite shocked about, 776 00:29:38,177 --> 00:29:42,078 but we find one boy who isn't that good-looking. 777 00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:44,047 This is how it's gonna work. 778 00:29:44,049 --> 00:29:46,382 We're all gonna be doing the kissing. 779 00:29:46,384 --> 00:29:47,916 I can't do it, Charlotte. 780 00:29:47,918 --> 00:29:49,217 I can't. No! 781 00:29:49,219 --> 00:29:51,285 Holly doesn't want to do it, and I need to do it. 782 00:29:51,287 --> 00:29:52,319 I need to do it for myself. 783 00:29:52,321 --> 00:29:55,121 I need to do it for single Charlotte. 784 00:29:55,123 --> 00:29:56,055 So I'm doing it. 785 00:29:56,057 --> 00:29:58,590 And he's kissing so fast it's like a Hoover. 786 00:29:58,592 --> 00:30:01,092 Hoovering out all me saliva. 787 00:30:01,094 --> 00:30:02,960 What the hell? 788 00:30:02,962 --> 00:30:03,460 Fuck me. 789 00:30:03,462 --> 00:30:05,695 It's one-nil to the Cock Capturers. 790 00:30:05,697 --> 00:30:09,365 Time to call Scotty T. to do some damage. 791 00:30:09,367 --> 00:30:10,199 ¶ 792 00:30:10,201 --> 00:30:11,934 Ah, you're an amazing kisser. 793 00:30:11,936 --> 00:30:13,902 Scotty T. has pulled. 794 00:30:13,904 --> 00:30:16,271 The Buck Squad have pulled. 795 00:30:16,273 --> 00:30:17,205 But Gary hasn't, 796 00:30:17,207 --> 00:30:21,175 so this still means we're still only neck and neck. 797 00:30:21,177 --> 00:30:24,444 ¶ 798 00:30:27,214 --> 00:30:32,117 Back at the house and the teams have come together. 799 00:30:32,119 --> 00:30:34,619 And I'm enjoying the fact that if we haven't pulled, 800 00:30:34,621 --> 00:30:36,454 the teams can still be sociable. 801 00:30:36,456 --> 00:30:38,622 We're having a laugh, we're eating fish food. 802 00:30:38,624 --> 00:30:39,589 We're in the hot tub. 803 00:30:39,591 --> 00:30:42,091 I'm actually having a good time. 804 00:30:42,093 --> 00:30:43,225 And fair play at the girls, 805 00:30:43,227 --> 00:30:45,460 they've held their own and proved they can pull, 806 00:30:45,462 --> 00:30:49,230 but can they handle their drink? 807 00:30:51,466 --> 00:30:53,266 Enough said. 808 00:30:54,067 --> 00:30:57,102 ¶ 809 00:30:58,404 --> 00:31:01,305 I'm wet and I stink of piss. 810 00:31:01,307 --> 00:31:04,174 I can't believe you've pissed yourself again, Char. 811 00:31:04,176 --> 00:31:06,142 It went all the way through! 812 00:31:06,144 --> 00:31:09,979 She distributed the largest amount of piss 813 00:31:09,981 --> 00:31:11,680 that I have ever seen in me life. 814 00:31:11,682 --> 00:31:14,249 It covered three-quarters of her mattress. 815 00:31:14,251 --> 00:31:16,384 Oh, there's piss down there as well. 816 00:31:16,386 --> 00:31:18,619 It's soaking. 817 00:31:18,621 --> 00:31:21,622 That's fucking-- Ahh! 818 00:31:21,624 --> 00:31:23,890 It goes from there to there. 819 00:31:23,892 --> 00:31:24,891 I've ruined me bed again. 820 00:31:24,893 --> 00:31:29,061 She must have a bladder the size of a small fucking country. 821 00:31:29,063 --> 00:31:33,165 So last night, it the Cock Capturers versus the Buck Squad 822 00:31:33,167 --> 00:31:34,166 and no one banged. 823 00:31:34,168 --> 00:31:35,967 So now we're going to go speed dating 824 00:31:35,969 --> 00:31:37,335 with a load of desperate singles 825 00:31:37,337 --> 00:31:40,271 and we have more chance of pulling in there. 826 00:31:40,273 --> 00:31:43,307 So do you want to go to speed dating? 827 00:31:43,309 --> 00:31:45,442 Speed dating? 828 00:31:45,444 --> 00:31:46,242 Yeah. 829 00:31:46,244 --> 00:31:48,110 I've never been speed dating before, 830 00:31:48,112 --> 00:31:50,946 but fuck it, I'll give it a try. 831 00:31:50,948 --> 00:31:52,981 Do you want to come speed dating? 832 00:31:52,983 --> 00:31:55,383 We decide that we'll ask the single boys 833 00:31:55,385 --> 00:31:57,284 if they want to come. 834 00:31:57,286 --> 00:31:57,951 Scott. 835 00:31:57,953 --> 00:31:59,886 You want to come speed dating? 836 00:31:59,888 --> 00:32:00,353 Fuck it. 837 00:32:00,355 --> 00:32:03,255 If there's fanny there, I'm game. 838 00:32:03,257 --> 00:32:06,791 ¶ 839 00:32:07,292 --> 00:32:08,859 Fancy a pint? 840 00:32:08,861 --> 00:32:10,093 A pint? 841 00:32:10,095 --> 00:32:10,793 Are you mad? 842 00:32:10,795 --> 00:32:13,295 Actually, what makes you bad makes you better. 843 00:32:13,297 --> 00:32:16,431 Me, Ricci and James are hanging from last night. 844 00:32:16,433 --> 00:32:17,932 There's only one thing to do. 845 00:32:17,934 --> 00:32:22,670 Pint, food and sort meself out for speed dating. 846 00:32:22,672 --> 00:32:26,807 A quiet pint is a perfect time to talk to James about Holly. 847 00:32:26,809 --> 00:32:28,909 Obviously, Holly was really upset, man. 848 00:32:28,911 --> 00:32:30,510 And-- But you know what it is? 849 00:32:30,512 --> 00:32:32,144 I understand your point of view, though. 850 00:32:32,146 --> 00:32:33,278 You want to stay away from her 851 00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:34,879 because you don't want to upset your girlfriend. 852 00:32:34,881 --> 00:32:36,614 You value your relationship a lot more with Kate 853 00:32:36,616 --> 00:32:38,082 than your friendship with Holly. 854 00:32:38,084 --> 00:32:40,217 Oh, a hundred million percent. 855 00:32:40,219 --> 00:32:43,587 Best thing you can do though, is put it on the table 856 00:32:43,589 --> 00:32:45,221 and be like, that's your feelings. 857 00:32:45,223 --> 00:32:46,055 That's how you feel. 858 00:32:46,057 --> 00:32:47,656 That's how you feel towards Kate 859 00:32:47,658 --> 00:32:48,823 and that's how you feel 860 00:32:48,825 --> 00:32:50,591 about you and Holly just being friends. 861 00:32:50,593 --> 00:32:52,025 And then you've been nice about it. 862 00:32:52,027 --> 00:32:53,326 Exactly what you're saying 863 00:32:53,328 --> 00:32:56,128 is what I thought was going on last time. 864 00:32:56,130 --> 00:32:57,662 It's what I thought was happening last time. 865 00:32:57,664 --> 00:33:00,231 Then she come out, telling us she was getting feelings for us. 866 00:33:00,233 --> 00:33:02,499 She was crying all the time. 867 00:33:02,501 --> 00:33:03,099 The flirting-- 868 00:33:03,101 --> 00:33:05,634 So this time, I don't even want to let it get to that, 869 00:33:05,636 --> 00:33:06,935 you know what I mean? 870 00:33:06,937 --> 00:33:07,702 Ricci's right. 871 00:33:07,704 --> 00:33:10,571 I do need to speak to Holly, but I think it's still too soon. 872 00:33:10,573 --> 00:33:12,172 You're so sexy, mate. 873 00:33:12,174 --> 00:33:13,206 You're so lovable. 874 00:33:13,208 --> 00:33:15,041 I'm just too good-looking. 875 00:33:15,043 --> 00:33:17,977 ¶ 876 00:33:18,278 --> 00:33:19,911 Seeing as how we're going speed dating, 877 00:33:19,913 --> 00:33:23,614 we need to look our best, so we're all going to the salon. 878 00:33:23,616 --> 00:33:24,481 Charlotte. 879 00:33:24,483 --> 00:33:26,649 You need a cleanse. 880 00:33:31,888 --> 00:33:33,755 So speed dating tonight. 881 00:33:33,757 --> 00:33:36,557 Let's talk about things that you may get asked. 882 00:33:36,559 --> 00:33:38,191 Oh shit, you've got to talk to them? 883 00:33:38,193 --> 00:33:40,293 Yeah, exactly-- you can't just suck them off. 884 00:33:40,295 --> 00:33:41,861 I want to make sure they're going to do well tonight 885 00:33:41,863 --> 00:33:45,130 and I decide the best way to do that is a bit of role playing. 886 00:33:45,132 --> 00:33:46,164 Hi, I'm Michael. 887 00:33:46,166 --> 00:33:47,532 Hi, I'm Charlotte. 888 00:33:47,534 --> 00:33:48,633 Michael? 889 00:33:48,635 --> 00:33:49,734 This is going really well. 890 00:33:49,736 --> 00:33:51,102 So Vicky's pretending to be a boy. 891 00:33:51,104 --> 00:33:52,870 Hi, I'm Paul. Hi, Paul. 892 00:33:52,872 --> 00:33:54,071 When was the last time you had sex? 893 00:33:54,073 --> 00:33:56,740 Well, that's a bit personal, Charlotte, don't you think? 894 00:33:56,742 --> 00:33:57,841 For God's sake, Charlotte, 895 00:33:57,843 --> 00:33:59,976 I didn't actually realize you were this bad at pulling. 896 00:33:59,978 --> 00:34:03,079 You're meant to be me wingman and you're just shit. 897 00:34:03,081 --> 00:34:05,514 Would you have sex with me, Paul? 898 00:34:05,516 --> 00:34:06,681 Don't ever look at him like that. 899 00:34:06,683 --> 00:34:08,683 Charlotte's doing this weird thing with her eyebrows 900 00:34:08,685 --> 00:34:13,421 and if I was a boy, I'd run in the opposite direction. 901 00:34:13,423 --> 00:34:14,522 You fucking creep. 902 00:34:14,524 --> 00:34:16,490 It's "Come to bed" eyes. 903 00:34:16,492 --> 00:34:18,658 ¶ 904 00:34:19,493 --> 00:34:20,993 How bad is me head now, right? 905 00:34:20,995 --> 00:34:24,096 I'm not Sophie, I'm someone else. 906 00:34:27,033 --> 00:34:28,967 Oh, sorry. 907 00:34:28,969 --> 00:34:30,101 Dan hardly ever pulls 908 00:34:30,103 --> 00:34:32,603 so I've decided to give him some good tips 909 00:34:32,605 --> 00:34:35,906 to help him pull a worldie at speed dating. 910 00:34:35,908 --> 00:34:37,007 Come on. 911 00:34:37,009 --> 00:34:37,941 Right. 912 00:34:37,943 --> 00:34:38,708 Hi, I'm Dan. 913 00:34:38,710 --> 00:34:39,875 I'm 20, I'm from Newcastle. 914 00:34:39,877 --> 00:34:42,244 I like going out, having a good time, I'm down-to-earth. 915 00:34:42,246 --> 00:34:44,179 No, Dan-- I've not done this before. 916 00:34:44,181 --> 00:34:46,748 That's why I need you to talk me through it. 917 00:34:46,750 --> 00:34:47,949 You're just rambling. 918 00:34:47,951 --> 00:34:48,816 It's not working. 919 00:34:48,818 --> 00:34:50,651 He's still thick as fuck. 920 00:34:50,653 --> 00:34:53,453 You need to sound interested. 921 00:34:53,455 --> 00:34:54,687 So, hiya. 922 00:34:54,689 --> 00:34:55,988 Hello, I'm Sophie. 923 00:34:55,990 --> 00:34:56,888 Really? 924 00:34:56,890 --> 00:34:58,856 Hi, I'm Sophie. 925 00:34:58,858 --> 00:34:59,556 I'm Dan. 926 00:34:59,558 --> 00:35:00,723 After me disaster from the other night, 927 00:35:00,725 --> 00:35:03,726 I'm aiming for a better result tonight at speed dating. 928 00:35:03,728 --> 00:35:07,730 If you see any vegetables, 929 00:35:07,732 --> 00:35:10,499 will you "lettuce" know? 930 00:35:10,501 --> 00:35:12,968 Ugh. No? 931 00:35:12,970 --> 00:35:14,869 When is anyone going to see a vegetable 932 00:35:14,871 --> 00:35:16,770 when they're on a speed date? 933 00:35:16,772 --> 00:35:18,271 He's starting to tell me jokes. 934 00:35:18,273 --> 00:35:23,643 "If you see any vegetables, will you 'lettuce' know?" 935 00:35:23,645 --> 00:35:27,647 No wonder Dan hardly fucking pulls. 936 00:35:28,415 --> 00:35:29,648 Scott! 937 00:35:29,650 --> 00:35:31,816 There's no need to shout. 938 00:35:31,818 --> 00:35:35,152 We've been waiting a fucking hour howay. 939 00:35:35,887 --> 00:35:39,556 I was brushing my teeth-- fucking hell. 940 00:35:40,157 --> 00:35:42,892 ¶ 941 00:35:42,894 --> 00:35:45,561 Me and Holly are ready for speed dating. 942 00:35:45,563 --> 00:35:47,996 The Cock Capturers are going to capture 943 00:35:47,998 --> 00:35:50,932 some kind of cock tonight. 944 00:35:51,199 --> 00:35:54,801 So would you say you wear your heart on your sleeve? 945 00:35:54,803 --> 00:35:57,570 My heart is hidden deep down inside 946 00:35:57,572 --> 00:35:59,972 and I don't know where it is. 947 00:35:59,974 --> 00:36:01,506 Don't really have one. 948 00:36:01,508 --> 00:36:03,107 Two minutes is not a long time. 949 00:36:03,109 --> 00:36:05,142 How the fuck, is this awkward? 950 00:36:05,144 --> 00:36:06,176 Nice meeting you-- Dan. 951 00:36:06,178 --> 00:36:08,244 My plan for speed dating is simple. 952 00:36:08,246 --> 00:36:09,678 So what are your interests? 953 00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:10,945 Ask loads of questions. 954 00:36:10,947 --> 00:36:12,146 I like to sing, dance and act. 955 00:36:12,148 --> 00:36:14,348 Why don't you do "X-Factor" or something if you can sing? 956 00:36:14,350 --> 00:36:16,083 Pretend like you're interested. 957 00:36:16,085 --> 00:36:17,117 So you do anything else? 958 00:36:17,119 --> 00:36:18,418 And you can't go wrong. 959 00:36:18,420 --> 00:36:19,552 It was nice meeting you. 960 00:36:19,554 --> 00:36:20,819 See you later, yeah? 961 00:36:20,821 --> 00:36:22,153 You look beautiful by the way. 962 00:36:22,155 --> 00:36:23,888 Treat me like I'm fucking sick. 963 00:36:23,890 --> 00:36:25,556 Why haven't I done this before? 964 00:36:25,558 --> 00:36:27,858 Speed dating is pointless to me 'cause you're sitting there, 965 00:36:27,860 --> 00:36:30,126 you get two minutes-- what are you going to do? 966 00:36:30,128 --> 00:36:31,227 Just tell me your life story. 967 00:36:31,229 --> 00:36:32,728 What's your name? Where are you from? 968 00:36:32,730 --> 00:36:34,162 What do you work as? Where are you going later? 969 00:36:34,164 --> 00:36:36,931 So all you really do is stare at their fucking tits. 970 00:36:36,933 --> 00:36:37,531 Seven. 971 00:36:37,533 --> 00:36:38,698 I'm on to like, my second boy 972 00:36:38,700 --> 00:36:40,232 and he comes over and he takes a seat 973 00:36:40,234 --> 00:36:42,968 and I've got loads of good questions to hit him with. 974 00:36:42,970 --> 00:36:45,603 You tell me something interesting. 975 00:36:45,605 --> 00:36:46,437 And the first one is 976 00:36:46,439 --> 00:36:49,206 tell me something interesting about yourself. 977 00:36:49,208 --> 00:36:49,973 About me? 978 00:36:49,975 --> 00:36:52,675 Yeah. Nah, I probably just hate myself. 979 00:36:52,677 --> 00:36:53,509 You hate yourself? 980 00:36:53,511 --> 00:36:56,279 That wasn't the answer I was kind of expecting. 981 00:36:56,281 --> 00:36:57,613 He hates heself. 982 00:36:57,615 --> 00:37:00,749 Now I don't feel like this is a speed dating thing. 983 00:37:00,751 --> 00:37:02,817 It's more like a counseling session. 984 00:37:02,819 --> 00:37:03,751 You need to like yourself. 985 00:37:03,753 --> 00:37:06,186 There's lots of good things about you, Tandor. 986 00:37:06,188 --> 00:37:07,120 Name one. 987 00:37:07,122 --> 00:37:09,021 Your hair is so curled. 988 00:37:09,023 --> 00:37:09,955 I'm lying. 989 00:37:09,957 --> 00:37:11,089 You get a tick. 990 00:37:11,091 --> 00:37:12,757 Yeah? Yeah! 991 00:37:12,759 --> 00:37:13,758 It was a sympathy tick. 992 00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:16,227 Try and learn to love yourself. 993 00:37:16,229 --> 00:37:17,094 What's your name? 994 00:37:17,096 --> 00:37:18,428 I'm Scott, very nice to meet you. 995 00:37:18,430 --> 00:37:20,229 This is the easiest thing ever. 996 00:37:20,231 --> 00:37:21,296 I could talk for England. 997 00:37:21,298 --> 00:37:23,665 I could talk to an orange about a fucking apple. 998 00:37:23,667 --> 00:37:25,900 What if I don't want you to leave after two minutes? 999 00:37:25,902 --> 00:37:26,734 You've got a tick. 1000 00:37:26,736 --> 00:37:28,001 I've put a tick here already. 1001 00:37:28,003 --> 00:37:28,868 I hope I got a tick. 1002 00:37:28,870 --> 00:37:31,036 I can hear all the boxes getting ticked already. 1003 00:37:31,038 --> 00:37:33,204 She's not going anywhere here, like. 1004 00:37:33,206 --> 00:37:34,972 Staying with Scotty. 1005 00:37:34,974 --> 00:37:37,040 It's the moment we've all been waiting for. 1006 00:37:37,042 --> 00:37:41,544 Who's the worst speed dater and who's the champion speed dater? 1007 00:37:41,546 --> 00:37:42,912 Holly, one. 1008 00:37:42,914 --> 00:37:44,813 And Dan, four. What? 1009 00:37:44,815 --> 00:37:47,115 So I've got more matches than Gaz and Scott. 1010 00:37:47,117 --> 00:37:49,750 Just proves sitting down, having a conversation 1011 00:37:49,752 --> 00:37:51,151 and listening to what a girl has to say 1012 00:37:51,153 --> 00:37:55,522 will beat the Buck Squad any day of the week, hands down. 1013 00:37:55,524 --> 00:37:56,656 One tick! 1014 00:37:56,658 --> 00:37:59,759 You know what? I'm better at blow jobs. 1015 00:37:59,761 --> 00:38:00,226 Let's go. 1016 00:38:00,228 --> 00:38:03,195 Hopefully me and Holly will have better luck in the club. 1017 00:38:03,197 --> 00:38:07,832 Everyone knows that's the only place you pull anyway. 1018 00:38:08,900 --> 00:38:12,469 ¶ 1019 00:38:16,507 --> 00:38:18,641 It's Tuesday, which means one thing. 1020 00:38:18,643 --> 00:38:19,675 We're going to Koos. 1021 00:38:19,677 --> 00:38:20,542 Everyone's buzzing. 1022 00:38:20,544 --> 00:38:24,012 Gotta make sure you're looking sharp and we're gonna get on it. 1023 00:38:24,014 --> 00:38:27,015 ¶ 1024 00:38:40,195 --> 00:38:41,228 It's Koosday tonight, 1025 00:38:41,230 --> 00:38:47,167 which means game on between Cock Capturers and Team Buck Squad. 1026 00:38:47,169 --> 00:38:50,003 ¶ 1027 00:38:50,337 --> 00:38:53,739 You've got the Cock Capturers and the Buck Squad. 1028 00:38:53,741 --> 00:38:54,973 I couldn't give a fuck who wins. 1029 00:38:54,975 --> 00:38:58,743 I'm just going to sit back and watch it kick off. 1030 00:38:58,745 --> 00:39:00,711 ¶ 1031 00:39:06,617 --> 00:39:08,050 You've got the Cock Capturers running 'round, 1032 00:39:08,052 --> 00:39:09,684 you've got the Bucking Squad running 'round 1033 00:39:09,686 --> 00:39:10,751 like a dog with two dicks. 1034 00:39:10,753 --> 00:39:14,454 And I just don't know who's gonna come out on top. 1035 00:39:15,756 --> 00:39:18,657 ¶ 1036 00:39:18,659 --> 00:39:19,691 I can't actually believe it. 1037 00:39:19,693 --> 00:39:23,094 The girls are beating the lads at their own game. 1038 00:39:23,096 --> 00:39:25,062 I've only just learned your name. 1039 00:39:25,064 --> 00:39:27,664 What is it again? Graeme? 1040 00:39:27,865 --> 00:39:30,600 Right now, the girls are winning. 1041 00:39:30,602 --> 00:39:31,500 I kissed! 1042 00:39:31,502 --> 00:39:32,133 We've done it. 1043 00:39:32,135 --> 00:39:33,868 We've been in the club five minutes 1044 00:39:33,870 --> 00:39:35,603 and me and Holly have already pulled. 1045 00:39:35,605 --> 00:39:38,005 Which means one-nil to Cock Capturers. 1046 00:39:38,007 --> 00:39:40,640 Fair play at the girls-- they've got off the mark quick. 1047 00:39:40,642 --> 00:39:41,641 The bulls necking on my boys. 1048 00:39:41,643 --> 00:39:44,744 But I guarantee I'll still beat them to the finish line. 1049 00:39:44,746 --> 00:39:46,679 ¶ 1050 00:39:46,681 --> 00:39:49,882 This whole competition is all a major cover-up. 1051 00:39:49,884 --> 00:39:52,017 It's really all about me and Gary 1052 00:39:52,019 --> 00:39:54,285 and this is a war between us. 1053 00:39:54,287 --> 00:39:57,021 See a bird, I get her over, I take her home. 1054 00:39:57,023 --> 00:39:59,757 That's what I call speed dating. 1055 00:39:59,759 --> 00:40:04,528 I see Gary leave with a girl, but weirdly, I don't care. 1056 00:40:04,530 --> 00:40:05,962 I've got Graeme 1057 00:40:05,964 --> 00:40:10,066 and hopefully I'll be capturing his cock later. 1058 00:40:10,068 --> 00:40:12,701 We can go on a proper date if you want. 1059 00:40:12,703 --> 00:40:14,035 A proper date? 1060 00:40:14,037 --> 00:40:16,037 A date? A date? 1061 00:40:16,039 --> 00:40:17,772 An actual date? 1062 00:40:17,774 --> 00:40:19,673 Could try. 1063 00:40:19,675 --> 00:40:21,274 This means I can't buck him? 1064 00:40:21,276 --> 00:40:22,541 What the fuck am I gonna do? 1065 00:40:22,543 --> 00:40:26,511 I need to buck now tonight, so Graeme's gonna have to fuck off. 1066 00:40:26,513 --> 00:40:28,846 I need to find someone else. 1067 00:40:28,848 --> 00:40:31,748 ¶ 1068 00:40:37,855 --> 00:40:39,522 Graeme has politely fucked off 1069 00:40:39,524 --> 00:40:42,191 and I found someone else to take home and bang. 1070 00:40:42,193 --> 00:40:43,692 And he's game. 1071 00:40:43,694 --> 00:40:45,293 We'll get home and all the sex will happen. 1072 00:40:45,295 --> 00:40:47,628 Charlotte has pulled and so has Holly. 1073 00:40:47,630 --> 00:40:51,965 And they're going to bring the boys back. 1074 00:40:51,967 --> 00:40:54,834 I need to get back to the house as soon as possible 1075 00:40:54,836 --> 00:40:57,703 so that it's still neck to neck. 1076 00:40:57,705 --> 00:41:00,238 ¶ 1077 00:41:01,673 --> 00:41:04,408 I come back with me bird. 1078 00:41:04,642 --> 00:41:07,543 But then Charlotte and Holly have both got lads back. 1079 00:41:07,545 --> 00:41:11,046 Both people out of the Cock Capturers have actually pulled, 1080 00:41:11,048 --> 00:41:13,748 whereas only one of the Buck Squad have. 1081 00:41:13,750 --> 00:41:17,017 I'd say that was one-nil. 1082 00:41:17,019 --> 00:41:19,219 I'm showing my boy our fish. 1083 00:41:19,221 --> 00:41:20,687 We're both not bothered. 1084 00:41:20,689 --> 00:41:23,056 The only fish he wants to see is the one between me legs. 1085 00:41:23,058 --> 00:41:27,727 And that's where we're going right now to do all of the sex. 1086 00:41:27,729 --> 00:41:28,661 ¶ 1087 00:41:28,663 --> 00:41:30,295 ¶ I'm going down on the cock ¶ 1088 00:41:30,297 --> 00:41:31,996 ¶ I'm getting low on the cock ¶ 1089 00:41:31,998 --> 00:41:34,531 ¶ I'm going down, I'm getting low ¶ 1090 00:41:34,533 --> 00:41:36,699 ¶ I'm going down on the cock 1091 00:41:36,701 --> 00:41:37,900 To be fair, it's actually impressive 1092 00:41:37,902 --> 00:41:39,835 for the girls to actually get lads back to the house 1093 00:41:39,837 --> 00:41:42,604 and into bed without passing out, being sick 1094 00:41:42,606 --> 00:41:43,338 or pissing on them. 1095 00:41:43,340 --> 00:41:47,008 I've had sex in the house and Gary's had sex in the house. 1096 00:41:47,010 --> 00:41:48,676 It's all weirdly okay 1097 00:41:48,678 --> 00:41:52,680 and there's been no kick-offs, no arguments and no tears. 1098 00:41:52,682 --> 00:41:56,950 This is getting fucking strange. 1099 00:41:57,251 --> 00:41:58,684 ¶ Everyone's here to party ¶ 1100 00:41:58,686 --> 00:42:00,652 ¶ If you wanna go back wanna go back ¶ 1101 00:42:00,654 --> 00:42:02,153 ¶ Everyone's here to party ¶ 1102 00:42:02,155 --> 00:42:04,221 ¶ If you wanna go back wanna go ¶ 1103 00:42:04,223 --> 00:42:05,889 ¶ Everyone's here to party 1104 00:42:05,891 --> 00:42:08,024 ¶ If you wanna go back wanna go back ¶ 1105 00:42:08,026 --> 00:42:09,592 ¶ Everyone's here to party ¶ 1106 00:42:09,594 --> 00:42:11,193 ¶ Let's party party (Wanna go back) ¶ 1107 00:42:11,195 --> 00:42:13,161 ¶ Let's party hard (Wanna go back) ¶ 1108 00:42:13,163 --> 00:42:15,296 ¶ Let's party party (Wanna go back) ¶ 1109 00:42:15,298 --> 00:42:16,463 ¶ Let's party hard 1110 00:42:16,465 --> 00:42:19,232 ¶ Go now go now go now go now ¶