1 00:00:05,438 --> 00:00:06,104 We are back! 2 00:00:06,106 --> 00:00:08,473 I need you to go and housesit for me... 3 00:00:08,475 --> 00:00:09,740 ..in Mexico. 4 00:00:09,742 --> 00:00:10,540 (cheering) 5 00:00:10,542 --> 00:00:12,441 We're gonna have a fucking mint time. 6 00:00:12,443 --> 00:00:15,076 I've got a new lass, I'm in love. 7 00:00:15,078 --> 00:00:16,043 Quick we kiss. 8 00:00:16,045 --> 00:00:17,177 It's time to go international 9 00:00:17,179 --> 00:00:19,379 and shock the shit out of them as well. 10 00:00:19,381 --> 00:00:20,713 You're not just here to party. 11 00:00:20,715 --> 00:00:21,680 You're here to work. 12 00:00:21,682 --> 00:00:24,582 We have a new boss, Cancun Chris. 13 00:00:24,584 --> 00:00:26,050 Oh my God. 14 00:00:26,052 --> 00:00:29,153 I am the happiest girl in the world. 15 00:00:29,155 --> 00:00:30,087 (screaming) 16 00:00:30,089 --> 00:00:33,790 How am I supposed to bang him if he's only got one leg? 17 00:00:33,792 --> 00:00:35,024 Hi, Andy. 18 00:00:35,026 --> 00:00:37,459 Oh my good God! 19 00:00:37,461 --> 00:00:39,527 That's me girl, Charlotte. 20 00:00:39,529 --> 00:00:41,095 Tache on. 21 00:00:42,163 --> 00:00:44,697 Joel keeps forgetting he's got a girlfriend. 22 00:00:44,699 --> 00:00:47,633 He said that they're like, on and off and he's like, 23 00:00:47,635 --> 00:00:48,767 "I don't even know where she is." 24 00:00:48,769 --> 00:00:51,169 Why don't you just get it through your stupid head 25 00:00:51,171 --> 00:00:54,605 that I am the only girl you need? 26 00:00:54,607 --> 00:00:56,773 Goodnight, Gary. Goodnight, Charlotte 27 00:00:56,775 --> 00:00:59,575 There are fingers entering my knickers. 28 00:00:59,577 --> 00:01:01,510 It turns out, topping and tailing 29 00:01:01,512 --> 00:01:06,047 is the perfect position for fingers to touch the vagina. 30 00:01:06,049 --> 00:01:06,580 ¶ 31 00:01:06,582 --> 00:01:09,349 I am a Geordie girl with a VIP edge. 32 00:01:09,351 --> 00:01:11,250 My biggest fear is getting wrinkles. 33 00:01:11,252 --> 00:01:13,418 I've got a banging body and the banter to match. 34 00:01:13,420 --> 00:01:15,520 I should have a degree in pulling women. 35 00:01:15,522 --> 00:01:17,622 I would never kiss anyone without a six-pack. 36 00:01:17,624 --> 00:01:19,757 The hardest graft I've ever done is doing me hair. 37 00:01:19,759 --> 00:01:21,558 I could talk the back legs off a donkey. 38 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:24,193 Got the looks, got the charm, it just works. 39 00:01:24,195 --> 00:01:27,229 I'm fit, I'm flirty, and I've got double Fs. 40 00:01:27,231 --> 00:01:30,332 "Geordie Shore", whey aye! 41 00:01:36,439 --> 00:01:38,873 So Gary tried it on with me last night and I pied him. 42 00:01:38,875 --> 00:01:42,610 And then I tried it on with Gary this morning and he's pied me. 43 00:01:42,612 --> 00:01:47,581 There's literally so much pie, I feel like I'm in a bakery. 44 00:01:49,717 --> 00:01:50,583 I woke up, it was me birthday. 45 00:01:50,585 --> 00:01:52,484 I know Charlotte wants to give us a birthday present 46 00:01:52,486 --> 00:01:53,117 and try and bang us, 47 00:01:53,119 --> 00:01:57,254 but not happening 'cause I don't want any drama on me birthday. 48 00:01:57,256 --> 00:01:59,155 (cheering) 49 00:01:59,157 --> 00:02:01,357 Happy birthday, Gaz, happy birthday. 50 00:02:01,359 --> 00:02:03,659 (all) Eight, nine, 10! 51 00:02:03,661 --> 00:02:05,327 Smash it! 52 00:02:05,329 --> 00:02:06,294 We know he loves smashing, 53 00:02:06,296 --> 00:02:07,595 so let's see how he gets on with this. 54 00:02:07,597 --> 00:02:13,233 (Vicky) You call that 24 years of smashing? 55 00:02:13,235 --> 00:02:15,668 (all) Yay! 56 00:02:15,670 --> 00:02:17,803 You fucking weirdo. 57 00:02:19,172 --> 00:02:21,706 Thank you. 58 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:24,108 Get it, get it, get it! 59 00:02:24,110 --> 00:02:24,708 (cheering) 60 00:02:24,710 --> 00:02:28,211 Think that's a big sexual frustrations there, Charlotte? 61 00:02:28,213 --> 00:02:29,178 Well, it was good, innit? 62 00:02:29,180 --> 00:02:31,880 I'm on wheels, spinning on the condoms. 63 00:02:35,150 --> 00:02:37,518 Gonna take him to a different little beach, something exotic. 64 00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:40,787 It's basically going to be the calm before the storm. 65 00:02:40,789 --> 00:02:43,222 See you later. 66 00:02:43,224 --> 00:02:44,323 Obviously I can't go because of me leg. 67 00:02:44,325 --> 00:02:47,526 It's starting to get us down when I see everyone going out 68 00:02:47,528 --> 00:02:50,495 and I'm just left in the house in me wheelchair. 69 00:02:50,497 --> 00:02:52,430 (horn honks) 70 00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:55,899 Mommy and Daddy are left in the house. 71 00:02:55,901 --> 00:03:02,805 So me and Joel decide that we are feeling a little bit horny. 72 00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:06,375 And the only way Mommy and Daddy can get rid of the frustration 73 00:03:06,377 --> 00:03:11,847 is to have a little bit of nookie in the pool. 74 00:03:12,849 --> 00:03:15,717 I am having sex in a pool with me boyfriend. 75 00:03:15,719 --> 00:03:17,685 And we made a splash. 76 00:03:17,687 --> 00:03:19,219 Literally. 77 00:03:22,456 --> 00:03:25,458 ¶ 78 00:03:37,370 --> 00:03:39,871 Gary and Charlotte are at the beach, flirting. 79 00:03:39,873 --> 00:03:40,705 But you know what it is, 80 00:03:40,707 --> 00:03:44,175 it's actually standard procedure for them. 81 00:03:46,912 --> 00:03:49,980 (all laughing) 82 00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:55,685 Gary, I tried to make it up to you this morning 83 00:03:55,687 --> 00:03:56,719 by giving you sex. 84 00:03:56,721 --> 00:03:59,621 But you didn't want it, so now it's your own fault. 85 00:03:59,623 --> 00:04:08,930 You're not getting anything. 86 00:04:08,932 --> 00:04:10,464 Charlotte was so frustrated. 87 00:04:10,466 --> 00:04:11,898 She's wanting it so bad. 88 00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:14,467 Might go in the sea and get really wet. 89 00:04:14,469 --> 00:04:16,869 To actually resist her is so hard 90 00:04:16,871 --> 00:04:18,270 because I do want to bang her. 91 00:04:18,272 --> 00:04:20,472 I'm just scared about the consequences. 92 00:04:20,474 --> 00:04:23,441 All right then, we'll all go. 93 00:04:35,854 --> 00:04:36,820 Smash it. 94 00:04:36,822 --> 00:04:38,354 Hopefully smash a bird. 95 00:04:38,356 --> 00:04:40,656 Get smashed by Charlotte. 96 00:04:49,599 --> 00:04:51,333 I'm going to get Gary back. 97 00:04:51,335 --> 00:04:53,668 I'm going to shag someone else on his birthday. 98 00:04:53,670 --> 00:04:55,536 That someone else is going to be Andy. 99 00:04:55,538 --> 00:04:58,605 Take that, Gary, you skinny prick. 100 00:04:58,607 --> 00:04:59,672 Ha. 101 00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:01,507 Ha ha ha. 102 00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:02,808 Ha. 103 00:05:02,810 --> 00:05:03,475 Just do it. 104 00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:06,010 Stop being a little pansy and ring him. 105 00:05:06,012 --> 00:05:07,277 Charlotte's met this boy, 106 00:05:07,279 --> 00:05:09,912 and she wants to invite him out tonight. 107 00:05:09,914 --> 00:05:12,481 But she hasn't got the balls to do it. 108 00:05:12,483 --> 00:05:12,981 What am I saying? 109 00:05:12,983 --> 00:05:16,718 "Hi, Andy, it's Charlotte from... Newcastle?" 110 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:18,853 Newcastle. 111 00:05:18,855 --> 00:05:20,821 I'm so scared. 112 00:05:20,823 --> 00:05:23,056 I don't think I can do it. 113 00:05:23,058 --> 00:05:24,290 Tonight? 114 00:05:24,292 --> 00:05:25,791 Yeah, sounds perfect. 115 00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:26,792 Well done. 116 00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:28,059 Yeah, definitely. 117 00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:29,393 Time? 12? 118 00:05:29,395 --> 00:05:31,762 Perfect. Bye. 119 00:05:31,764 --> 00:05:35,532 Charlotte only seems to be able to speak to lads 120 00:05:35,534 --> 00:05:37,600 through the medium of sex. 121 00:05:37,602 --> 00:05:38,934 So this isn't going that well. 122 00:05:38,936 --> 00:05:40,735 I'll ring him for you if you want. 123 00:05:40,737 --> 00:05:42,269 I better write a script. Oh my God. 124 00:05:42,271 --> 00:05:44,738 Thank fuck Becca's come to me rescue. 125 00:05:44,740 --> 00:05:47,907 She's gonna wingwoman us and ring Andy for us. 126 00:05:47,909 --> 00:05:49,775 I don't want to be here when you ring, 127 00:05:49,777 --> 00:05:51,476 that's how embarrassed I am. 128 00:05:51,478 --> 00:05:54,846 Hello, is that Andy? Hi, Andy. 129 00:05:54,848 --> 00:05:57,481 Um, it's Charlotte's good friend Rebecca. 130 00:05:57,483 --> 00:05:58,849 She's actually in the shower at the moment, 131 00:05:58,851 --> 00:06:02,018 but she asked us to give you a call because basically, 132 00:06:02,020 --> 00:06:04,487 she wants you to come out and meet her tonight 133 00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,489 for a few drinks. 134 00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:07,389 I'm hiding. 135 00:06:07,391 --> 00:06:09,457 I can't even bear to listen to this. 136 00:06:09,459 --> 00:06:10,724 What if he's saying no? 137 00:06:10,726 --> 00:06:12,859 What if I'm getting pied again? 138 00:06:12,861 --> 00:06:15,428 He can't wait and he's bringing Colin. 139 00:06:15,430 --> 00:06:16,796 It's brilliant news. 140 00:06:16,798 --> 00:06:19,598 So why do I feel so bad? 141 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,866 It's Gary's birthday. 142 00:06:39,517 --> 00:06:42,418 I'm feeling really nervous for tonight. 143 00:06:42,420 --> 00:06:44,019 I've said that I'm going to meet Andy, 144 00:06:44,021 --> 00:06:46,855 and I'm still feeling really guilty about it. 145 00:06:46,857 --> 00:06:49,090 This could be really awkward. 146 00:06:49,092 --> 00:06:51,358 ¶ 147 00:06:54,495 --> 00:06:56,596 It's my birthday night, it's a massive night for me. 148 00:06:56,598 --> 00:07:02,401 I want to look mint, fresh, and I want to fucking smash it. 149 00:07:07,106 --> 00:07:09,107 (phone rings) 150 00:07:09,109 --> 00:07:11,642 Big night tonight and I absolutely can't wait 151 00:07:11,644 --> 00:07:12,476 to get out there. 152 00:07:12,478 --> 00:07:14,845 I'm dolled up and the phone goes. 153 00:07:15,980 --> 00:07:17,447 Yeah. 154 00:07:19,082 --> 00:07:20,882 Why did I pick up the twatting phone? 155 00:07:20,884 --> 00:07:24,385 I've got to go and pick up a package for Cancun Chris. 156 00:07:26,888 --> 00:07:28,722 All right, okay, thanks, Chris. 157 00:07:28,724 --> 00:07:30,123 Okay, take care. 158 00:07:30,125 --> 00:07:31,624 Bye. You too. 159 00:07:31,626 --> 00:07:33,726 So it's not just me going to collect this package. 160 00:07:33,728 --> 00:07:34,860 It's Holly as well. 161 00:07:34,862 --> 00:07:36,094 Holly, get a move on. 162 00:07:36,096 --> 00:07:38,096 We both pissed him off the other day. 163 00:07:38,098 --> 00:07:40,965 And I know that we're in his bad books. 164 00:07:40,967 --> 00:07:44,034 Shit hole. Like, the whole fucking house. 165 00:07:44,036 --> 00:07:44,801 Shit hole. 166 00:07:44,803 --> 00:07:47,703 What the fuck's he going on about? 167 00:07:48,671 --> 00:07:49,137 I'm dead confused. 168 00:07:49,139 --> 00:07:52,173 Do you still think you'll be able to come out with us? 169 00:07:52,175 --> 00:07:53,908 Fuck knows. 170 00:07:57,178 --> 00:07:57,777 Holly, haway, man. 171 00:07:57,779 --> 00:08:00,513 The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can get out. 172 00:08:00,515 --> 00:08:01,914 Be there in a minute. 173 00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:03,181 Fucking hurry up then. 174 00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:05,550 (horn honking) 175 00:08:05,552 --> 00:08:07,552 See you. See you later. 176 00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:08,686 Quick, quick, quick. 177 00:08:08,688 --> 00:08:11,021 Ah, you fucking stupid cactus! 178 00:08:11,023 --> 00:08:12,857 Fuck! 179 00:08:13,592 --> 00:08:16,527 (cheering) 180 00:08:16,995 --> 00:08:20,230 Tonight's the night to put the comb-over back in action. 181 00:08:20,232 --> 00:08:23,733 I'm going to pull meself a worldy. 182 00:08:28,839 --> 00:08:29,772 Come with me, babes. 183 00:08:29,774 --> 00:08:32,541 Finally the nighttime, I'm getting meself out. 184 00:08:32,543 --> 00:08:34,142 I'm fucking buzzing. 185 00:08:35,043 --> 00:08:35,942 Tonight all I'm thinking about 186 00:08:35,944 --> 00:08:37,877 is having a fucking mint time with everyone, 187 00:08:37,879 --> 00:08:40,579 mint time with the lads and just enjoying meself. 188 00:08:40,581 --> 00:08:43,648 It's my birthday, and I'm in fucking Cancun. 189 00:08:43,650 --> 00:08:44,949 ¶ 190 00:08:44,951 --> 00:08:48,652 Happy birthday! 191 00:08:58,029 --> 00:08:59,896 Obviously I'm pissed off at fucking Charlotte. 192 00:08:59,898 --> 00:09:02,098 She rang a lad to come out on my birthday. 193 00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:05,201 I couldn't care if it was any other day of the year. 194 00:09:05,203 --> 00:09:06,068 It's my birthday. 195 00:09:06,070 --> 00:09:07,803 I wanted to spend it with everyone, 196 00:09:07,805 --> 00:09:09,304 me joyful family. 197 00:09:21,016 --> 00:09:23,884 I hate the way it's always on his terms. 198 00:09:23,886 --> 00:09:25,886 He says when he wants girls there, 199 00:09:25,888 --> 00:09:27,721 he says when it's family night. 200 00:09:27,723 --> 00:09:29,656 It's always on his terms. 201 00:09:29,658 --> 00:09:31,057 Well, tonight, it's not. 202 00:09:31,059 --> 00:09:32,658 It's on mine. 203 00:09:41,334 --> 00:09:42,867 Yeah! 204 00:09:42,869 --> 00:09:46,770 Where the fuck is Holly and Vicky, man? 205 00:09:49,206 --> 00:09:51,774 ¶ 206 00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:54,976 The night is gonna be shit. 207 00:09:54,978 --> 00:09:55,676 You never know, man. 208 00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:57,377 Maybe we'll get it over with quick and get out. 209 00:09:57,379 --> 00:09:59,212 We need to go and pick up this parcel. 210 00:09:59,214 --> 00:10:00,346 Hopefully we'll be back in time, 211 00:10:00,348 --> 00:10:02,981 having a mint night for Gary's birthday. 212 00:10:02,983 --> 00:10:04,382 How far away is it? 213 00:10:04,384 --> 00:10:06,951 20 minutes, 30 minutes? 214 00:10:06,953 --> 00:10:09,153 Espanol. 215 00:10:09,155 --> 00:10:10,854 Only Spanish, right. 216 00:10:12,122 --> 00:10:13,689 Taxi driver doesn't speak English. 217 00:10:13,691 --> 00:10:15,290 There's no information in the car. 218 00:10:15,292 --> 00:10:17,892 And it's all just starting to dawn on this 219 00:10:17,894 --> 00:10:21,128 that this is going to be absolute wank. 220 00:10:21,130 --> 00:10:25,098 I feel like I am postal. 221 00:10:26,767 --> 00:10:28,601 ¶ 222 00:10:32,405 --> 00:10:36,341 I'm finally out, no more waving people goodbye. 223 00:10:36,343 --> 00:10:37,875 Thank fuck. 224 00:10:37,877 --> 00:10:40,811 ¶ 225 00:10:46,717 --> 00:10:49,418 This could actually be my night. 226 00:10:49,420 --> 00:10:50,285 My night to shine. 227 00:10:50,287 --> 00:10:54,322 Fuck Gary's birthday, tonight is all about me. 228 00:10:54,324 --> 00:10:57,658 And I know that soon, I'm going to be meeting Andy. 229 00:10:57,660 --> 00:10:59,226 That's if he comes. 230 00:10:59,228 --> 00:10:59,960 I hope he comes. 231 00:10:59,962 --> 00:11:03,096 If he doesn't, that would be a bit embarrassing. 232 00:11:03,098 --> 00:11:06,232 ¶ 233 00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:25,017 Charlotte's lad from the beach walks in. 234 00:11:25,019 --> 00:11:27,219 I don't know how this is going to go down 235 00:11:27,221 --> 00:11:28,420 on Gaz's birthday, like. 236 00:11:28,422 --> 00:11:29,354 I wouldn't be happy. 237 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:33,124 Andy's looking absolutely gorgeous. 238 00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:37,061 He's the best looking boy in the club tonight. 239 00:11:44,269 --> 00:11:46,403 It's fucking me at work again. 240 00:11:46,405 --> 00:11:49,305 We need to go and pick up this parcel for Cancun Chris. 241 00:11:49,307 --> 00:11:52,241 Hopefully we'll be back in time to still be able to join them, 242 00:11:52,243 --> 00:11:55,377 having a mint night for Gary's birthday. 243 00:11:56,746 --> 00:12:00,381 ¶ The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round ¶ 244 00:12:00,383 --> 00:12:03,917 We sat there and an hour passes. 245 00:12:03,919 --> 00:12:05,752 We're like, for fuck's sake. 246 00:12:05,754 --> 00:12:08,888 Two hours pass. 247 00:12:09,890 --> 00:12:13,259 I'm fucking bored, I want a drink. 248 00:12:13,261 --> 00:12:14,827 Four hours pass. 249 00:12:14,829 --> 00:12:19,131 Vick? What? What? 250 00:12:19,133 --> 00:12:20,732 Finally the car stops. 251 00:12:20,734 --> 00:12:23,000 And I look out, I expect to see something, 252 00:12:23,002 --> 00:12:25,068 maybe it's Cancun Chris, maybe it's the package. 253 00:12:25,070 --> 00:12:26,502 I don't know. 254 00:12:29,506 --> 00:12:31,874 He's taking a piss. 255 00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:33,976 What's going on? 256 00:12:33,978 --> 00:12:37,512 Driver's in there having a fucking steady scran. 257 00:12:37,514 --> 00:12:40,381 He's kicking back like a fucking king getting a full English 258 00:12:40,383 --> 00:12:42,015 while I was sitting, sweating me tits off 259 00:12:42,017 --> 00:12:43,349 in this fucking horrible van. 260 00:12:43,351 --> 00:12:45,918 I don't fucking think so, mate. 261 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:46,285 I'm angry. 262 00:12:46,287 --> 00:12:48,854 I'm not doing anything for anybody ever again. 263 00:12:48,856 --> 00:12:51,823 We just don't have a fucking clue what to do next. 264 00:12:51,825 --> 00:12:53,457 I'm so pissed off. 265 00:12:53,459 --> 00:12:54,724 I was so looking forward to tonight. 266 00:12:54,726 --> 00:12:56,792 It's the first night where we're all out together 267 00:12:56,794 --> 00:12:58,059 and we can really enjoy ourselves. 268 00:12:58,061 --> 00:12:59,060 I just hope I can get this over with 269 00:12:59,062 --> 00:13:02,763 and done quick and get straight back to the party. 270 00:13:03,264 --> 00:13:05,765 ¶ 271 00:13:09,936 --> 00:13:12,003 I'm in love with his friend. 272 00:13:12,005 --> 00:13:13,371 He's a fire fighter. 273 00:13:13,373 --> 00:13:15,039 He's got muscley arms. 274 00:13:15,041 --> 00:13:19,877 It's all getting a little bit sexually frustrated. 275 00:13:19,879 --> 00:13:22,145 She's doing so well. 276 00:13:22,147 --> 00:13:24,480 She's looking like a slag. 277 00:13:24,482 --> 00:13:26,014 She's doing better than me at the minute. 278 00:13:26,016 --> 00:13:28,916 ¶ Can't wait to get you in my bed ¶ 279 00:13:28,918 --> 00:13:32,386 I need to take a leaf out of Becca's book. 280 00:13:32,388 --> 00:13:34,321 I'm going to show him that I'm ready for the cock. 281 00:13:34,323 --> 00:13:38,391 I'm moving his hands on me bum cheeks. 282 00:13:38,393 --> 00:13:42,061 I have pulled myself a worldy! 283 00:13:44,497 --> 00:13:46,831 Turn 'round, yeah, Char's with fucking Andy 284 00:13:46,833 --> 00:13:47,398 or whatever his name is. 285 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:50,000 Andy's got a mate that Becca's getting with. 286 00:13:50,002 --> 00:13:51,468 Me, I could give a flying fuck. 287 00:13:51,470 --> 00:13:52,869 I want to pull a bird. 288 00:13:52,871 --> 00:13:54,804 Put them to shame, I would. 289 00:13:58,041 --> 00:14:00,208 Gary's making out that he's not bothered at all, 290 00:14:00,210 --> 00:14:04,011 but I know deep down he will be a bit gutted. 291 00:14:11,853 --> 00:14:14,988 I've crashed and burned and I'm so drunk. 292 00:14:14,990 --> 00:14:17,423 Becca is too drunk. 293 00:14:17,425 --> 00:14:20,025 She's gonna have to go home alone. 294 00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:21,292 But my wingwoman days are over. 295 00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:24,395 I've got more important things to concentrate on... 296 00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:26,397 ...and that's the cock. 297 00:14:39,177 --> 00:14:39,442 Hello? 298 00:14:39,444 --> 00:14:42,878 Get back to the house, Vicky's still not fucking here. 299 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:44,579 Hello! 300 00:14:44,581 --> 00:14:45,846 Don't know where she is, 301 00:14:45,848 --> 00:14:47,914 what she's doing or when she's coming back. 302 00:14:50,884 --> 00:14:52,417 At all. 303 00:14:52,419 --> 00:14:55,520 I think listening to Ricci bang on about Vicky 304 00:14:55,522 --> 00:14:57,255 is more painful than me fucking leg. 305 00:14:57,257 --> 00:15:01,926 I want to know where my fucking bird is now. 306 00:15:06,498 --> 00:15:08,832 Two kebabs. Two kebabs, mate. 307 00:15:08,834 --> 00:15:09,432 After a mint night out, 308 00:15:09,434 --> 00:15:14,036 what's better for Geordie boys than having a nice kebab? 309 00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:19,207 You generally have got no interest in birds at all. 310 00:15:19,209 --> 00:15:22,376 Chloe's in me mind again, and I'm missing her loads. 311 00:15:22,378 --> 00:15:23,910 I've come out here knowing I'd miss her, 312 00:15:23,912 --> 00:15:27,947 but I didn't know I'd miss her as much as I am. 313 00:15:27,949 --> 00:15:29,415 She's got everything. 314 00:15:29,417 --> 00:15:32,551 Banter, personality, everything. 315 00:15:32,553 --> 00:15:35,887 Legs, ass, tits, fucking got everything, man. 316 00:15:35,889 --> 00:15:36,487 I think coming in here, 317 00:15:36,489 --> 00:15:40,023 people didn't realize how serious me and Chloe are. 318 00:15:40,025 --> 00:15:43,159 It's not just a little fling or anything like that. 319 00:15:43,161 --> 00:15:44,527 It is a serious relationship. 320 00:15:44,529 --> 00:15:48,430 I reckon in six months' time, you'll be engaged. 321 00:15:48,432 --> 00:15:50,899 ¶ 322 00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:04,344 I'm a little bit too drunk. 323 00:16:04,346 --> 00:16:05,912 I need to pull this back. 324 00:16:05,914 --> 00:16:08,281 If I don't pull this back soon enough, 325 00:16:08,283 --> 00:16:12,118 I'm going to be passing out on the cock. 326 00:16:13,353 --> 00:16:17,189 I'm trying to make him think I'm not easy or that I'm slag, 327 00:16:17,191 --> 00:16:21,092 I'm just playing it cool. 328 00:16:24,296 --> 00:16:26,130 Oy, oy! 329 00:16:26,132 --> 00:16:29,266 Get back to the villa and some random Australians 330 00:16:29,268 --> 00:16:30,400 are fucking flying about. 331 00:16:30,402 --> 00:16:32,668 It's my birthday, fuck off. 332 00:16:51,954 --> 00:16:53,287 What the fuck is he doing? 333 00:16:53,289 --> 00:16:58,091 At this moment in time, I wish Joel wasn't here. 334 00:17:04,431 --> 00:17:06,131 I'm feeling horny. 335 00:17:06,133 --> 00:17:09,000 I'm feeling ready for the cock! 336 00:17:09,002 --> 00:17:11,435 (moaning) 337 00:17:11,437 --> 00:17:13,437 It's so much fun and it's so great 338 00:17:13,439 --> 00:17:18,708 until I look and Becca's face is right on the mattress 339 00:17:18,710 --> 00:17:20,676 and she's slobbering on herself. 340 00:17:20,678 --> 00:17:24,012 And I didn't even know she was in the room. 341 00:17:24,014 --> 00:17:27,949 (moaning) 342 00:17:53,775 --> 00:17:55,475 Definitely had sex with him. 343 00:17:55,477 --> 00:17:59,245 Last night, I slept with someone else other than Gary. 344 00:17:59,247 --> 00:18:00,312 Yes. 345 00:18:00,314 --> 00:18:05,450 I don't remember him leaving and writing on me leg. 346 00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:07,051 There's this big massive paragraph 347 00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:10,721 and it's from Andy telling us how much of a good fuck I was. 348 00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:13,523 You did so good with Colin. 349 00:18:13,525 --> 00:18:13,890 Yeah! 350 00:18:13,892 --> 00:18:15,825 I think me and Charlotte are pretty proud of ourselves 351 00:18:15,827 --> 00:18:18,294 at the moment, like, I've pulled a lad. 352 00:18:18,296 --> 00:18:23,565 Charlotte has pulled the I only have sex with Gary spell. 353 00:18:32,474 --> 00:18:35,242 I don't care if Gary's bothered that I pulled someone 354 00:18:35,244 --> 00:18:38,111 on his birthday because I've had an amazing night, 355 00:18:38,113 --> 00:18:40,513 and I've got a romantic note on me leg. 356 00:18:40,515 --> 00:18:42,448 Gary can go suck eggs. 357 00:18:52,926 --> 00:18:55,560 I don't want to let anyone see that I'm upset. 358 00:18:55,562 --> 00:18:56,694 I'm so embarrassed, 359 00:18:56,696 --> 00:18:59,396 and I still don't trust Joel. 360 00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:05,768 Oh my God! 361 00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:08,637 Look! Stop! 362 00:19:08,639 --> 00:19:10,872 I've just seen it! 363 00:19:10,874 --> 00:19:12,607 Thanks again! 364 00:19:12,609 --> 00:19:13,574 (laughing) 365 00:19:13,576 --> 00:19:15,576 I've never been so good at sex 366 00:19:15,578 --> 00:19:17,611 that someone's had to write on me thigh. 367 00:19:17,613 --> 00:19:23,149 And then thank us again on me leg. 368 00:19:23,151 --> 00:19:24,550 Fuck. 369 00:19:24,552 --> 00:19:26,318 I'm like a porn star. 370 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:28,520 (laughing) 371 00:19:31,490 --> 00:19:36,727 What the fuck is that smell? 372 00:19:36,729 --> 00:19:37,461 That's us. 373 00:19:37,463 --> 00:19:38,862 I wake up in a pool of me own sweat 374 00:19:38,864 --> 00:19:42,265 after one of the most awkward and uncomfortable night's sleeps 375 00:19:42,267 --> 00:19:43,299 I've ever had. 376 00:19:43,301 --> 00:19:44,400 Our driver is not here. 377 00:19:44,402 --> 00:19:46,668 I don't know where the fuck he is. 378 00:19:46,670 --> 00:19:49,337 No sign of Cancun Chris' package. 379 00:19:49,339 --> 00:19:52,573 I don't fucking want to see Cancun Chris' package. 380 00:19:52,575 --> 00:19:53,707 I'm waking up. 381 00:19:53,709 --> 00:19:55,842 Sweat is pouring off me. 382 00:19:55,844 --> 00:20:00,246 The battery went dead couple of hours ago. 383 00:20:00,248 --> 00:20:01,413 The air con's off. 384 00:20:01,415 --> 00:20:03,281 I'm sweating me tits off. 385 00:20:03,283 --> 00:20:04,248 We leave the air con on 386 00:20:04,250 --> 00:20:05,782 for too long without the car running, 387 00:20:05,784 --> 00:20:06,749 what happens? 388 00:20:06,751 --> 00:20:08,250 The fucking battery dies. 389 00:20:08,252 --> 00:20:08,783 I am fucking dripping. 390 00:20:08,785 --> 00:20:11,786 Me tits are actually water falling with sweat. 391 00:20:11,788 --> 00:20:14,488 This trip has been a fucking disaster from start to finish. 392 00:20:14,490 --> 00:20:16,790 Cancun Chris is a fucking Cancun cock. 393 00:20:16,792 --> 00:20:19,626 And I no longer care about his tiny little package. 394 00:20:19,628 --> 00:20:21,761 I'm so pissed off that we weren't out last night. 395 00:20:21,763 --> 00:20:27,333 My basic human rights have been completely violated 396 00:20:27,335 --> 00:20:28,233 by this trip. 397 00:20:28,235 --> 00:20:30,368 I have no food, I have no water. 398 00:20:30,370 --> 00:20:32,503 I'm going to swap me face and me hair out, 399 00:20:32,505 --> 00:20:34,004 and then I'm going to get drunk. 400 00:20:34,006 --> 00:20:36,406 Fancy us? Game. 401 00:20:36,408 --> 00:20:37,840 Hoist me bag. 402 00:20:39,576 --> 00:20:41,643 I look a bit like a Gypsy. 403 00:20:41,645 --> 00:20:45,380 Oh God, that's the last of your worries. 404 00:20:45,382 --> 00:20:46,447 We don't want to ask for directions, 405 00:20:46,449 --> 00:20:47,514 we don't want to find out where we are, 406 00:20:47,516 --> 00:20:49,415 we don't want to find out where the driver is. 407 00:20:49,417 --> 00:20:51,250 We just want to get pissed. 408 00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:09,635 I woke up the night after me birthday and I'm hanging. 409 00:21:09,637 --> 00:21:11,770 But Charlotte comes straight over. 410 00:21:11,772 --> 00:21:15,373 So I know for a fact she's feeling guilty. 411 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,547 Yes, she has banged someone. Who gives a fuck? 412 00:21:24,549 --> 00:21:27,283 She'll still come running back and I know she will. 413 00:21:27,285 --> 00:21:29,518 He left a message on me leg and it said, 414 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:31,753 "Thanks for a great night. Call me." 415 00:21:31,755 --> 00:21:35,590 I'm not used to having sex with a big, strong man. 416 00:21:35,592 --> 00:21:40,761 I'm so over little skinny boys. 417 00:21:40,763 --> 00:21:42,362 #Gary. 418 00:21:52,005 --> 00:21:54,840 I know I can have Gary whenever I want. 419 00:21:54,842 --> 00:21:57,876 He's under my thumb. 420 00:21:58,677 --> 00:22:01,011 ¶ 421 00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:05,080 Shit. I'm so fucking pissed. 422 00:22:05,082 --> 00:22:05,914 It's still daytime? 423 00:22:05,916 --> 00:22:09,017 I was expecting it to at least be dusk. 424 00:22:09,019 --> 00:22:09,884 Me and Holly are mortal. 425 00:22:09,886 --> 00:22:13,020 We are absolutely fucking hammered. 426 00:22:13,022 --> 00:22:15,789 He-- Hey! Hey. 427 00:22:15,791 --> 00:22:18,491 Where's the va-- Here's the van man. 428 00:22:18,493 --> 00:22:23,429 Eventually walk back 'round to the van and the driver's there. 429 00:22:23,431 --> 00:22:24,496 (speaking Spanish) 430 00:22:24,498 --> 00:22:25,530 No, it's totally gone. 431 00:22:25,532 --> 00:22:27,098 And he's trying to fix the battery that have broke. 432 00:22:27,100 --> 00:22:29,633 'Cause I managed to drain the fucking battery 433 00:22:29,635 --> 00:22:30,800 when I left the air con on. 434 00:22:30,802 --> 00:22:33,402 So I feel a little bit guilty because it is my fault. 435 00:22:33,404 --> 00:22:35,404 (engine clicks) 436 00:22:35,406 --> 00:22:38,006 That does not sound like a good noise. 437 00:22:38,008 --> 00:22:42,510 Broke. 438 00:22:42,512 --> 00:22:46,046 Get that fucking battery started right now, please. 439 00:22:46,048 --> 00:22:47,113 Get it started. 440 00:22:47,115 --> 00:22:49,115 Get that? Go on. Now. 441 00:22:49,117 --> 00:22:52,051 Tell me this is a fucking joke. 442 00:22:52,053 --> 00:22:54,353 Fucking no luck. Libbity. 443 00:22:54,355 --> 00:22:55,520 Absolute libbity. 444 00:22:55,522 --> 00:22:58,689 I've never been so mad in me whole fucking life. 445 00:22:58,691 --> 00:22:59,389 I'm done. 446 00:22:59,391 --> 00:23:01,591 Volcano Vicky has finally fucking blown. 447 00:23:01,593 --> 00:23:04,060 So don't push me, I'm fucking off. 448 00:23:04,062 --> 00:23:04,927 Cancun. 449 00:23:04,929 --> 00:23:05,794 I need a couple days on me own. 450 00:23:05,796 --> 00:23:07,562 I just need to calm down and then I'll be back. 451 00:23:07,564 --> 00:23:09,130 And then I'll be fine. 452 00:23:12,667 --> 00:23:15,368 ¶ 453 00:23:18,338 --> 00:23:20,639 You don't even know how to cook it, do you? 454 00:23:20,641 --> 00:23:22,073 Basically, I'm cooking, 455 00:23:22,075 --> 00:23:23,574 he'll stand over and watch 456 00:23:23,576 --> 00:23:26,677 and be the annoying twat that he is. 457 00:23:31,783 --> 00:23:34,017 You don't want me to put these on the table? 458 00:23:34,019 --> 00:23:35,651 They're dead. 459 00:23:39,689 --> 00:23:43,958 I wake up and Vicky's not there anymore. 460 00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:46,694 Where the fuck's this parcel? 461 00:23:46,696 --> 00:23:49,563 We still haven't got the package. 462 00:23:49,565 --> 00:23:52,632 (speaks in Spanish) 463 00:23:52,634 --> 00:23:56,435 Do you have the parcel? Oh. 464 00:23:56,437 --> 00:23:58,003 Thank God. 465 00:23:58,005 --> 00:24:00,739 This right now is possibly the worst thing 466 00:24:00,741 --> 00:24:04,776 that's ever happened to me in my entire life ever. 467 00:24:09,681 --> 00:24:11,748 ¶ 468 00:24:13,517 --> 00:24:15,384 Food's ready, everyone! 469 00:24:15,386 --> 00:24:16,551 Who's hungry? 470 00:24:16,553 --> 00:24:17,418 Me. Me! 471 00:24:17,420 --> 00:24:19,186 Thanks, Sophie. Thanks, Joel. 472 00:24:19,188 --> 00:24:20,754 Thank you. 473 00:24:20,756 --> 00:24:22,756 The lasagna's looking a bit brown. 474 00:24:22,758 --> 00:24:23,623 I'm wondering if Joel's got 475 00:24:23,625 --> 00:24:25,524 a bit of his fake tan mixed in by mistake. 476 00:24:25,526 --> 00:24:28,593 I've never fucking cooked a meal for everyone in the house. 477 00:24:28,595 --> 00:24:29,827 So for Joel to come in and do it, 478 00:24:29,829 --> 00:24:31,562 he is gaining a little bit of respect. 479 00:24:31,564 --> 00:24:34,464 I'm confused about how Joel's acting. 480 00:24:34,466 --> 00:24:36,132 I want to believe that he's changed, 481 00:24:36,134 --> 00:24:38,534 but there's something inside telling us 482 00:24:38,536 --> 00:24:40,168 that it's all a massive act. 483 00:24:40,170 --> 00:24:42,203 That's nice so far. Is it? 484 00:24:42,205 --> 00:24:44,138 For the first time since Joel's arrived 485 00:24:44,140 --> 00:24:46,507 the atmosphere's actually picking up. 486 00:24:46,509 --> 00:24:47,207 People are smiling. 487 00:24:47,209 --> 00:24:49,976 That was lovely, thanks very much. 488 00:24:49,978 --> 00:24:50,843 Thank Joel. 489 00:24:50,845 --> 00:24:52,578 Thanks, Joel. Thanks, Joel. 490 00:24:52,580 --> 00:24:55,747 Why don't we get ready for tonight? 491 00:24:55,749 --> 00:24:57,014 Oy, you've dropped me crutches. 492 00:24:57,016 --> 00:24:59,649 You've dropped me crutches on the floor. 493 00:25:01,018 --> 00:25:03,719 (mutters) 494 00:25:05,121 --> 00:25:10,825 ¶ 495 00:25:16,198 --> 00:25:20,901 Holly gets back, looking fucking ridiculous. 496 00:25:20,903 --> 00:25:22,202 She looks like me nana. 497 00:25:22,204 --> 00:25:23,703 Where the fuck have you been? 498 00:25:23,705 --> 00:25:27,940 She went to pick this package up and she's been gone a day. 499 00:25:30,710 --> 00:25:32,444 My first instinct is to run out the door 500 00:25:32,446 --> 00:25:33,812 and see if she's in the taxi. 501 00:25:33,814 --> 00:25:34,779 Where's Vicky at? 502 00:25:34,781 --> 00:25:36,647 I don't know, babe, I really don't know. 503 00:25:36,649 --> 00:25:39,816 I woke up being drunk, right? And she'd gone. 504 00:25:39,818 --> 00:25:40,983 Haway, Ricci, man. 505 00:25:40,985 --> 00:25:42,551 It's been 24 hours. 506 00:25:42,553 --> 00:25:44,085 Poor Vicky's fanny must be killing. 507 00:25:44,087 --> 00:25:46,787 You keep pounding her every fucking 10 minutes. 508 00:25:46,789 --> 00:25:48,955 I don't know, she's not there. I'm sorry. 509 00:25:48,957 --> 00:25:50,523 Vicky's my girlfriend, I love her. 510 00:25:50,525 --> 00:25:51,957 So my first instinct is to run out the door, 511 00:25:51,959 --> 00:25:55,160 jump in a taxi and try and find her. 512 00:25:58,197 --> 00:26:01,232 Should we open the package? 513 00:26:01,234 --> 00:26:04,902 Finally it's time to open this package. 514 00:26:05,870 --> 00:26:08,805 For fuck's sake! 515 00:26:08,807 --> 00:26:11,641 All the drama over two hammocks? 516 00:26:11,643 --> 00:26:17,146 He has sent me eight hours away. 517 00:26:17,148 --> 00:26:20,616 Cancun Chris is a fucking wanker. 518 00:26:20,618 --> 00:26:21,850 He can actually kiss my ass 519 00:26:21,852 --> 00:26:23,818 if he thinks I'm doing anything for him again. 520 00:26:23,820 --> 00:26:29,123 What the fuck is it? Fucking fishing nets. 521 00:26:29,125 --> 00:26:32,092 ¶ 522 00:26:32,094 --> 00:26:34,928 Vicky and Ricci are still not back. 523 00:26:34,930 --> 00:26:37,297 We're all going to Cabana Beach club. 524 00:26:37,299 --> 00:26:38,665 Come on. 525 00:26:38,667 --> 00:26:42,068 ¶ 526 00:26:52,512 --> 00:26:58,149 We're surrounded by these hot American spring break people. 527 00:26:58,151 --> 00:26:59,884 I'm happy to do the taching on. 528 00:26:59,886 --> 00:27:00,651 I think Charlotte's game 529 00:27:00,653 --> 00:27:03,587 to get her fanny out for a few of them mind. 530 00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:10,993 Yeah! 531 00:27:13,964 --> 00:27:15,130 Watch out for the cock. 532 00:27:15,132 --> 00:27:17,799 Where's that cock. Here, cocky, cocky, cocky. 533 00:27:19,268 --> 00:27:21,902 Oh, shit, she's winning! 534 00:27:23,104 --> 00:27:23,870 One for one. 535 00:27:23,872 --> 00:27:27,440 I'm away and I'm just dragging them in and I'm kissing them 536 00:27:27,442 --> 00:27:29,275 and I'm pushing them aside. 537 00:27:31,144 --> 00:27:35,013 I should have a degree and master's and Ph.D. 538 00:27:35,015 --> 00:27:35,913 and I've just graduated 539 00:27:35,915 --> 00:27:37,781 and I've went straight into a job. 540 00:27:37,783 --> 00:27:41,918 Everyone wants employees to pull all the men. 541 00:27:43,053 --> 00:27:46,221 I'm on a roll and I'm pulling loads of lads 542 00:27:46,223 --> 00:27:48,289 and I'm ready to pull some more. 543 00:27:48,291 --> 00:27:49,290 Shit. 544 00:27:49,292 --> 00:27:52,259 Andy's just turned up and he's looking really nice. 545 00:27:52,261 --> 00:27:53,393 I hope he hasn't seen us pull all the lads 546 00:27:53,395 --> 00:27:56,329 'cause, I mean, I don't want him to not kiss us anymore. 547 00:27:56,331 --> 00:27:58,798 Hi! Hi. 548 00:28:00,133 --> 00:28:01,800 Thank fuck the Aussie's back. 549 00:28:01,802 --> 00:28:07,305 Again, I've got a free night and a free pass with no drama. 550 00:28:07,307 --> 00:28:08,372 I like the no top look. 551 00:28:08,374 --> 00:28:13,210 Yeah, I know, I didn't expect to see you guys. 552 00:28:13,212 --> 00:28:14,711 ¶ 553 00:28:18,482 --> 00:28:20,216 Anything Charlotte can do, I can do better. 554 00:28:20,218 --> 00:28:21,083 Bring my two birds. 555 00:28:21,085 --> 00:28:23,385 Hopefully some of them feelings she got for me 556 00:28:23,387 --> 00:28:25,854 are going over there. 557 00:28:30,492 --> 00:28:34,294 What better way to end the night than a three-way kiss? 558 00:28:34,296 --> 00:28:36,729 Nice. 559 00:28:36,731 --> 00:28:38,797 ¶ 560 00:28:43,803 --> 00:28:46,805 Find Joel up to his old tricks again. 561 00:28:46,807 --> 00:28:49,374 Talking to other girls. 562 00:28:49,376 --> 00:28:50,975 Hi, Joel! Remember me? 563 00:28:50,977 --> 00:28:52,810 That's my boyfriend. 564 00:28:52,812 --> 00:28:53,443 Oh, hey. 565 00:28:53,445 --> 00:28:54,977 Are you having a conversation? 566 00:28:54,979 --> 00:28:57,112 Oh yeah, we were just talking. 567 00:28:57,114 --> 00:28:58,780 All right. 568 00:29:08,223 --> 00:29:09,756 He's hurt me in the past. 569 00:29:09,758 --> 00:29:12,191 And I still haven't got trust in him. 570 00:29:15,895 --> 00:29:17,395 I'm sick to death of all these couples. 571 00:29:17,397 --> 00:29:21,899 This is "Geordie Shore." What the fuck's going on? 572 00:29:35,346 --> 00:29:38,948 It's the first time Charlotte's ever banged a random lad 573 00:29:38,950 --> 00:29:42,451 on "Geordie Shore". 574 00:29:42,453 --> 00:29:43,885 Yes, it's one-nil Charlotte, 575 00:29:43,887 --> 00:29:48,456 but let's see who can pull 'em back. 576 00:29:48,458 --> 00:29:51,025 The girls have said I've got 20 minutes in the bedroom. 577 00:29:51,027 --> 00:29:53,227 Because I'm so good at all the sex, 578 00:29:53,229 --> 00:29:55,829 I know that I'll probably be done before that. 579 00:29:55,831 --> 00:29:56,529 Because my bouncing skills 580 00:29:56,531 --> 00:29:59,798 can make a boy cum in less than five minutes. 581 00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:05,170 ¶ 582 00:30:05,172 --> 00:30:06,971 (moaning) 583 00:30:16,448 --> 00:30:18,248 ¶ 584 00:30:22,286 --> 00:30:23,319 Woke up this morning, 585 00:30:23,321 --> 00:30:26,322 I'm not sure if Vicky and Ricci are coming back. 586 00:30:29,092 --> 00:30:31,326 I'm really missing Chloe, she's on me mind. 587 00:30:31,328 --> 00:30:33,094 So I go to the phone. 588 00:30:33,096 --> 00:30:34,161 Hello? Hello. 589 00:30:34,163 --> 00:30:36,296 Can you hear us? Uh-huh. 590 00:30:36,298 --> 00:30:38,164 Do you want to come out to Cancun? 591 00:30:38,166 --> 00:30:44,170 Baby, I'm so excited to say yes. 592 00:30:44,172 --> 00:30:45,538 Boom. She can. 593 00:30:45,540 --> 00:30:46,805 Can't wait to see her. 594 00:30:46,807 --> 00:30:49,207 I love you, bye. Love you too. 595 00:30:49,209 --> 00:30:53,344 I just hope she can come in time for me birthday. 596 00:30:53,346 --> 00:30:53,610 ¶ 597 00:30:53,612 --> 00:30:58,247 I'm having a holiday romance, but he's got to leave today. 598 00:31:01,618 --> 00:31:02,951 Andy is so romantic. 599 00:31:02,953 --> 00:31:07,155 I'm lucky to get a hello off Gary in the morning. 600 00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:19,266 I wake up to find me boyfriend in the mirror using my bronzer. 601 00:31:19,268 --> 00:31:23,870 He's not gay because he fucks me hard. 602 00:31:26,473 --> 00:31:28,073 I know. 603 00:31:28,075 --> 00:31:30,642 Two nil to me. 604 00:31:30,644 --> 00:31:31,909 Surf's up. 605 00:31:31,911 --> 00:31:33,477 We're going surfing. 606 00:31:33,479 --> 00:31:34,578 I'm so fucking excited, man. 607 00:31:34,580 --> 00:31:38,415 I'm gonna ride them waves like a buffalo getting chewed up 608 00:31:38,417 --> 00:31:40,316 by a fucking lion. 609 00:31:40,318 --> 00:31:43,852 ¶ 610 00:31:47,523 --> 00:31:49,290 Here's how I've got to stand? 611 00:31:49,292 --> 00:31:50,357 Yeah. Really? 612 00:31:50,359 --> 00:31:52,158 I know how to ride surfboards. 613 00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:53,659 It's just the same as riding cock. 614 00:31:53,661 --> 00:31:55,060 And I'm really good at that. 615 00:31:55,062 --> 00:31:57,562 One, two, three, four, get up. 616 00:32:04,236 --> 00:32:07,404 (laughing) 617 00:32:07,406 --> 00:32:08,938 ¶ 618 00:32:12,309 --> 00:32:13,909 Obviously, I can't go with me leg. 619 00:32:13,911 --> 00:32:17,045 Holly's staying in, looking after us. 620 00:32:25,454 --> 00:32:29,156 Florence fucking Nightingale is in charge of this patient. 621 00:32:29,158 --> 00:32:32,125 It would be rude not to keep the patient entertained. 622 00:32:32,127 --> 00:32:35,928 I might be free between three and four. 623 00:32:35,930 --> 00:32:36,929 AM? 624 00:32:36,931 --> 00:32:39,197 Yeah. Okay. 625 00:32:39,199 --> 00:32:41,232 ¶ 626 00:32:43,201 --> 00:32:46,970 I was minting after fucking what we been going through. 627 00:32:46,972 --> 00:32:49,372 On and off, fucking shagging, not shagging, 628 00:32:49,374 --> 00:32:50,139 friends, not friends. 629 00:32:50,141 --> 00:32:51,940 I mean, it's nice we're still going night out. 630 00:32:51,942 --> 00:32:53,942 And fucking you can just get with a lad. 631 00:32:53,944 --> 00:32:55,343 I can kiss a few girls. 632 00:32:55,345 --> 00:32:56,977 Come home, everybody's happy. 633 00:32:56,979 --> 00:32:58,445 Yep, it's brilliant. 634 00:32:58,447 --> 00:33:00,013 I'm saying I've rather have this 635 00:33:00,015 --> 00:33:01,447 than we're not speaking at all. 636 00:33:01,449 --> 00:33:03,015 Yes. I said fantastic. 637 00:33:03,017 --> 00:33:04,583 I get it, Gary, you're not bothered. 638 00:33:04,585 --> 00:33:05,250 You don't care. 639 00:33:05,252 --> 00:33:07,619 Well, I don't give a fucking shit either. 640 00:33:07,621 --> 00:33:08,586 I'm so angry at you. 641 00:33:08,588 --> 00:33:09,687 I was on Cloud Nine about Andy, 642 00:33:09,689 --> 00:33:12,389 and now I'm just back on the normal ground next to you, 643 00:33:12,391 --> 00:33:13,957 you skinny prick. 644 00:33:13,959 --> 00:33:14,557 I just hate all the drama 645 00:33:14,559 --> 00:33:16,625 and fucking people shouting at us in the morning. 646 00:33:16,627 --> 00:33:18,460 He's not bothered, he's not bothered. 647 00:33:18,462 --> 00:33:20,328 He doesn't care, he's not bothered. 648 00:33:20,330 --> 00:33:21,262 I was necking on two birds. 649 00:33:21,264 --> 00:33:23,330 I said I couldn't give a flying fuck. 650 00:33:23,631 --> 00:33:27,934 Oh, and big Andy's the perfect guy from Australia! 651 00:33:27,936 --> 00:33:29,101 Fucking give a fuck. 652 00:33:29,103 --> 00:33:32,137 Well, I'm not bothered that you're not bothered. 653 00:33:32,139 --> 00:33:35,206 So why don't we just be not bothered together? 654 00:33:36,341 --> 00:33:39,076 ¶ 655 00:33:40,111 --> 00:33:42,378 (humming) 656 00:33:42,380 --> 00:33:43,712 Oh, there you go. 657 00:33:43,714 --> 00:33:44,412 Nurse Holly here, 658 00:33:44,414 --> 00:33:47,715 she's straight offering us bedside assistance. 659 00:33:47,717 --> 00:33:49,750 Cock a doodle doo. 660 00:33:49,752 --> 00:33:53,353 It hasn't taken me as long as I thought to get James into bed. 661 00:33:53,355 --> 00:33:55,755 It feels much better, Holly, thank you. 662 00:33:59,459 --> 00:34:00,091 She's been a star, 663 00:34:00,093 --> 00:34:03,260 so I thought now she deserves a little treat, doesn't she? 664 00:34:03,262 --> 00:34:04,561 Be gentle. Okay. 665 00:34:04,563 --> 00:34:05,562 Watch the leg. 666 00:34:05,564 --> 00:34:07,430 The doctor says he couldn't walk, 667 00:34:07,432 --> 00:34:09,632 but he said nothing about banging. 668 00:34:09,634 --> 00:34:11,300 (mutters) 669 00:34:11,302 --> 00:34:12,467 I do too. 670 00:34:12,469 --> 00:34:14,101 (moaning) 671 00:34:14,103 --> 00:34:16,369 Here I am in Mexico, lying in bed, 672 00:34:16,371 --> 00:34:19,705 leg all strapped up and Holly bouncing on me cock. 673 00:34:19,707 --> 00:34:21,239 Who'd have fucking thought of that? 674 00:34:21,241 --> 00:34:26,377 I fucking deserve a little pat on the back for that, mate. 675 00:34:26,379 --> 00:34:28,512 ¶ 676 00:34:34,285 --> 00:34:35,251 We had sex. 677 00:34:35,253 --> 00:34:38,654 She's what? She's banged him? 678 00:34:38,656 --> 00:34:40,055 (snickering) 679 00:34:40,057 --> 00:34:41,723 He's had sex? 680 00:34:41,725 --> 00:34:43,124 Yeah, we did. 681 00:34:43,126 --> 00:34:44,358 What the fuck? 682 00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:47,361 She's actually had sex with James? 683 00:34:47,363 --> 00:34:48,729 You aren't serious. 684 00:34:48,731 --> 00:34:50,097 You banged Holly? 685 00:34:50,099 --> 00:34:51,164 I knew it would happen. 686 00:34:51,166 --> 00:34:52,598 It was just a matter of time. 687 00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:55,300 She's got what she want out of James. 688 00:34:55,302 --> 00:34:58,002 Thought I would reward her for her fucking hard work. 689 00:34:58,004 --> 00:35:00,104 I'm never letting James tell me that 690 00:35:00,106 --> 00:35:01,472 he's not banging Holly again. 691 00:35:01,474 --> 00:35:02,706 I don't understand. 692 00:35:02,708 --> 00:35:04,607 It's a mutual agreement? Yeah. 693 00:35:04,609 --> 00:35:07,676 This is the ideal friends with benefits. 694 00:35:07,678 --> 00:35:09,644 This is the joint bank account. 695 00:35:09,646 --> 00:35:13,014 Does James have a big cock? 696 00:35:13,016 --> 00:35:14,548 Does he? 697 00:35:18,619 --> 00:35:19,318 Who's Holly kidding? 698 00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:24,723 She's been taking cocks for as long as I've been walking. 699 00:35:24,725 --> 00:35:29,027 It'd be the width of a wheel's mouth. 700 00:35:29,029 --> 00:35:31,062 ¶ 701 00:35:32,397 --> 00:35:33,697 Like, he in loves her, like. 702 00:35:33,699 --> 00:35:34,497 So in love with her. 703 00:35:34,499 --> 00:35:36,165 Oh, isn't he? Telling me the other night 704 00:35:36,167 --> 00:35:38,701 that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. 705 00:35:38,703 --> 00:35:41,770 It's been a lot better without Vicky and Ricci here. 706 00:35:41,772 --> 00:35:43,905 It's been fucking lovely. 707 00:35:43,907 --> 00:35:45,840 I'm missing them. 708 00:35:45,842 --> 00:35:46,407 Are you? 709 00:35:46,409 --> 00:35:47,808 They don't just kiss the proper get it, 710 00:35:47,810 --> 00:35:49,943 be like they haven't seen each other in a million years. 711 00:35:49,945 --> 00:35:54,447 Sometimes I do actually get a little bit embarrassed. 712 00:35:54,449 --> 00:35:55,815 We're off to Señor Frog's. 713 00:35:55,817 --> 00:35:57,283 Me and Charlotte aren't speaking, shock. 714 00:35:57,285 --> 00:35:59,218 But that is not affecting my night. 715 00:35:59,220 --> 00:36:01,820 I'm still gonna have a fucking mint time. 716 00:36:01,822 --> 00:36:03,721 ¶ 717 00:36:03,723 --> 00:36:05,322 Me leg's feeling much better. 718 00:36:05,324 --> 00:36:05,689 I'm back out. 719 00:36:05,691 --> 00:36:09,392 I'm back out in Cancun where I'm meant to be doing. 720 00:36:14,264 --> 00:36:17,966 The worst thing that could happen would be for me and Holly 721 00:36:17,968 --> 00:36:20,668 to become like Gaz and Charlotte. 722 00:36:20,670 --> 00:36:22,503 That's not gonna happen. 723 00:36:22,505 --> 00:36:23,837 I'm still not talking to Gary. 724 00:36:23,839 --> 00:36:24,704 He's made us really angry, 725 00:36:24,706 --> 00:36:26,772 so I'm going to have a good time with the girls 726 00:36:26,774 --> 00:36:28,406 and not with Gary. 727 00:36:28,408 --> 00:36:30,641 ¶ 728 00:36:34,912 --> 00:36:35,845 (all) Arriba! 729 00:36:35,847 --> 00:36:38,514 I know for a fact that James' and Holly's situation 730 00:36:38,516 --> 00:36:41,183 will be like mine and Charlotte's, 731 00:36:41,185 --> 00:36:42,217 but at the speed of light. 732 00:36:42,219 --> 00:36:44,419 It'll get very bad very quick. 733 00:36:44,421 --> 00:36:45,720 Holly's nuts. 734 00:36:45,722 --> 00:36:47,621 ¶ 735 00:36:49,323 --> 00:36:50,656 Down it! 736 00:36:57,630 --> 00:36:59,831 Me and Charlotte don't need to be speaking 737 00:36:59,833 --> 00:37:01,232 to act out sex positions. 738 00:37:01,234 --> 00:37:03,901 On top, facing me. On top, reverse cowboy. 739 00:37:03,903 --> 00:37:05,669 I know that we're going to win this competition 740 00:37:05,671 --> 00:37:08,772 because if there's one thing me and Gary's good at it, 741 00:37:08,774 --> 00:37:10,673 it's sex positions. 742 00:37:10,675 --> 00:37:11,707 And lots of them. 743 00:37:11,709 --> 00:37:13,875 And then I'll lick your bumhole. 744 00:37:13,877 --> 00:37:14,442 All right. 745 00:37:14,444 --> 00:37:16,410 If there's one thing me and Charlotte can do, 746 00:37:16,412 --> 00:37:18,445 it's re-enact the Kama Sutra. 747 00:37:18,447 --> 00:37:19,579 (man) One! 748 00:37:19,581 --> 00:37:20,980 It's really hard to ignore someone 749 00:37:20,982 --> 00:37:25,417 when they're bending you over in doggy style. 750 00:37:25,419 --> 00:37:27,719 Two. Three. 751 00:37:27,721 --> 00:37:32,290 The thrusts and the pulls and the grabs just so happen 752 00:37:32,292 --> 00:37:38,362 to be making us feel a little bit wet and wide and horny. 753 00:37:38,364 --> 00:37:39,496 Shit. 754 00:37:39,498 --> 00:37:41,598 Give it right here. 755 00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:42,799 Put your hands up. 756 00:37:42,801 --> 00:37:44,834 Let's give up for the UK. 757 00:37:44,836 --> 00:37:46,335 Shock, we win, I mean, come on. 758 00:37:46,337 --> 00:37:49,571 I don't care if we're in Cancun or spring break, 759 00:37:49,573 --> 00:37:51,773 England or France, I will win a sex position game. 760 00:37:57,346 --> 00:37:58,979 ¶ 761 00:38:18,366 --> 00:38:19,666 Me and Joel want a bit of private time alone, 762 00:38:19,668 --> 00:38:23,970 so we head off into downtown Mexico for some food. 763 00:38:30,510 --> 00:38:31,676 I miss Sophie though. 764 00:38:31,678 --> 00:38:32,710 But I'm glad she's happy. 765 00:38:32,712 --> 00:38:36,714 Jay, please, do you see a little bit of a change in Joel? 766 00:38:36,716 --> 00:38:38,716 A little bit? I do. 767 00:38:38,718 --> 00:38:38,982 I do. 768 00:38:38,984 --> 00:38:42,352 I see a change in him, and I'm so happy about it. 769 00:38:42,354 --> 00:38:44,821 ¶ 770 00:38:45,088 --> 00:38:47,089 I think everyone in the house is starting to realize that 771 00:38:47,091 --> 00:38:48,657 things are different now. 772 00:38:48,659 --> 00:38:49,557 I really do. 773 00:38:49,559 --> 00:38:50,791 Like, the last few days especially. 774 00:38:50,793 --> 00:38:53,393 I'm starting to appreciate having Joel as a boyfriend 775 00:38:53,395 --> 00:38:56,295 and having him here because I'm enjoying it. 776 00:38:56,297 --> 00:38:59,498 I'm enjoying not having to watch him 24/7. 777 00:38:59,500 --> 00:39:01,800 Right now, like, this is like real. 778 00:39:01,802 --> 00:39:02,634 You know what I mean? 779 00:39:02,636 --> 00:39:04,602 This is like, proper relationship, Joel. 780 00:39:04,604 --> 00:39:05,369 Do you know what I'm saying? 781 00:39:05,371 --> 00:39:10,073 Yeah, this is like, this feels like a proper relationship now. 782 00:39:17,114 --> 00:39:19,115 ¶ 783 00:39:23,353 --> 00:39:25,587 Oh, God, I can't believe it. 784 00:39:25,589 --> 00:39:27,622 All the sex positions went to me head 785 00:39:27,624 --> 00:39:28,556 and I can't think properly. 786 00:39:28,558 --> 00:39:33,561 And for a second, I bloody fucking like him again 787 00:39:46,675 --> 00:39:49,610 Get back to the house, straightaway there, Nurse Holly, 788 00:39:49,612 --> 00:39:53,513 she's there to offer some bedside assistance. 789 00:39:55,716 --> 00:39:58,851 I hope that by doing this hasn't fucked up the friendship 790 00:39:58,853 --> 00:40:01,687 between me and Holly 'cause I enjoy, like, 791 00:40:01,689 --> 00:40:03,622 how good we get on now. 792 00:40:03,956 --> 00:40:08,559 It's good to have a nice working relationship with a patient. 793 00:40:08,561 --> 00:40:09,660 I mean, I've got to do 794 00:40:09,662 --> 00:40:11,561 as much as I possibly can for him. 795 00:40:11,563 --> 00:40:15,064 And you can't say I don't take me job seriously. 796 00:40:31,114 --> 00:40:32,080 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 797 00:40:32,082 --> 00:40:35,183 Oh, I'm not going to do anything. 798 00:40:35,185 --> 00:40:35,983 I love sex more than anything 799 00:40:35,985 --> 00:40:39,786 and to actually have to say no and push someone away, 800 00:40:39,788 --> 00:40:43,923 especially Charlotte, it is fucking hard. 801 00:40:46,660 --> 00:40:48,894 I've just been pied again. 802 00:40:48,896 --> 00:40:53,164 For God's sake, I hate him. 803 00:40:53,899 --> 00:40:55,499 ¶ Everyone's here to party 804 00:40:55,501 --> 00:40:57,434 ¶ If you wanna go back, wanna go back ¶ 805 00:40:57,436 --> 00:40:58,701 ¶ Everyone's here to party 806 00:40:58,703 --> 00:41:01,437 ¶ If you wanna to back, wanna go back ¶ 807 00:41:01,439 --> 00:41:02,638 ¶ Everyone's here to party 808 00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:04,606 ¶ Let's party, party, you wanna go back ¶ 809 00:41:04,608 --> 00:41:06,808 ¶ Let's party, party, wanna go back ¶ 810 00:41:06,810 --> 00:41:08,075 ¶ Party, party, wanna go back ¶ 811 00:41:08,077 --> 00:41:11,044 ¶ Let's party hard