We are back!
I need you to go and housesit for me in Mexico.
(all cheering)
We're gonna have a fucking mint time.
I've got a new lass, I'm in love.
Free with a kiss!
It's time to go international
and shock the shit out of them as well.
You're not just here to party. You're here to work.
It's only my new boss, Cancun Chris.
Now I don't want to have to come back to the house
and sort through any fucking mess.
Me and Becca's already pissed in the pool.
I'm so sick of you. Ugh!
Me and Vicky have gone from
being on cloud nine to rock bottom.
If Ricci had his own fucking way,
I'd be a mix between his mom and a blow-up doll.
Me and Holly, it is just flanter--
flirty banter.
The plan is mission let go of her.
Please leave a message, and, um--
I said I'd call Joel back, and he's still not answering.
Why can't I just trust him?
I do like, obviously, really care for you
I know I've said this a million times,
but this really is the end.
I'm just like so worried, we're getting on so well.
I am a Geordie girl with a VIP edge.
My biggest fear is getting wrinkles.
I've got a banging body and the banter to match.
I should have a degree in pulling women.
I would never kiss anyone without a six-pack.
The hardest graft I've ever done is doing me hair.
I could talk the back legs off a donkey.
Got the looks, got the charm. It just works.
I'm fit, I'm flirty, and I've got double Fs.
"Geordie Shore".
Gary and Charlotte are ending things.
They're just going to stay friends.
She'd be an amazing girlfriend.
Gary just doesn't see that.
I know that Gary will get over this well,
because he'll just keep on banging birds
and stuff like that,
but I know deep down he's gonna be hurt.
I'm a little bit gutted because I didn't think
it would ever finish.
I love Charlotte to bits as a friend.
I spend a lot of time with her. I care about her.
But I don't love her as in, like, I want to be with her,
I want to marry her.
It's them two loves that I think
a lot of people are getting mixed up.
I've been noticing a lot of flirting lately.
What, with you and Gary?
No, man. You and Holly.
Me and Holly's just mates, man.
I've been down this road before.
You know what happens.
(Holly) It's not flirting. It's just banter.
It's flanter.
James thinks that if we have sex
that I'm going to get attached to the cock.
I'm not going to get attached to the cock because
I don't like the cock when I'm not on the cock.
But when I'm on the cock, I like the cock.
So you're telling me if you keep on flantering,
the cock isn't going to accidentally slip up.
No, the cock isn't going to accidentally slip up.
Me and Holly will have a proper laugh together.
She is a really sweet, nice girl.
But I don't want to break that, you know what I mean?
'Cause there would never be anything more.
Oh, God.
It's never just gonna be flanter with Holly and James.
They're gonna end up banging.
(laughs)
Hi, you've reached Joel. I'm currently unavailable--
Joel's phone is switched off.
It is never, ever off.
I'm getting a little bit worried now.
What the hell? Like, why is he ignoring us?
(doorbell rings)
Doorbell. Doorbell.
How you been, Vicky?
Why did I have to answer the doorbell?
I'm hardly his fucking number one fan.
The kid's like fucking chlamydia.
Easy to pick up, but a nightmare to get rid of.
Is it Joel? Is it?
Joel. How you been?
Oh my God.
I don't believe it's him. I feel like I'm in a dream.
I am so happy.
I am the happiest girl in the world.
My God, I've missed you so much. I really have.
I'm actually gobsmacked.
He's stepped it up a bit since last time.
He's got rid of the stupid bow tie.
Now he's got a fucking ridiculous sombrero.
Oh my God, I can't believe you're here.
If you remember the last time we seen Joel with Sophie,
he upset her, he made her cry-- they're finished.
He's not going to be stupid enough
to make the same mistake again.
He will do it all over again,
because he's fucking stupid like that.
Everyone knows that this is dangerous ground for Sophie.
Everyone, this is Joel.
Hi, Joel! How's it going?
Mwah!
I'm overwhelmed that Joel's here.
But then again in the back of me mind,
I know that the rest of the guys hate him.
I'm pissed off. Why is he here?
He doesn't treat my best friend right,
and I don't want him to be in Mexico with us.
Hi, Charlotte. How you doing?
I'm good. You all right? I'm good.
I'll be nice to Joel for Sophie, but I don't think I trust him.
We've got an eye on him now.
We're not letting him hurt Sophie again,
'cause if he does, it'll be fucking hell on.
Bosh.
(boat horn blares)
Oh, hello.
Cancun Chris, we've all got him wrong.
Arriba!
Fucking yacht turns up.
Who's it for? Us lot.
Yeah!
What better way to lift everyone's spirits
than a fucking massive yacht just rocking up the villa?
The last thing I want to do is go on a boat.
I get seasick.
And I'm with someone who makes me physically sick.
I can't believe I'm on an amazing boat
kicking back with me beautiful boyfriend.
#livingthedream.
Yeah, I could go for it. Yeah, I do.
You don't trust me, though, do you?
Takes a while. I'm getting there.
You're getting there?
Got a long way to go, though.
The worst place to test this relationship
is fucking spring break.
Sophie's a really jealous person.
Joel's a really flirty person,
and a liar and a player deep down.
It's gonna end in tears.
You've got the best girlfriend in the world, haven't you?
(Joel) Maybe.
Yeah? Maybe.
Maybe?
I am in a floating hell.
(Vicky vomiting)
(vomiting)
So now I'm covered in me own vomit.
All in all, this is quite a shit day.
The boat didn't stop, and I was falling off in the toilet.
There was fucking sick everywhere.
And fuck off, I cleaned it up.
Ricci's comforting Vicky.
I bet he's doing this--
"Vicky, it's okay, baby.
Do you want me to put my tiny little chipolata
into your vagina to make you feel better?"
How do you handle being somewhere like this
with a girlfriend, man? Huh?
Joel is here just for a large holiday,
and he couldn't give a flying fuck about Sophie.
You will be lost.
That's gonna be dangerous.
There's a party boat?
Oh, no...
Why stay on the boring boat when there's a fucking party
going on 20 meters away?
Boom.
Gary's acting like a shark taking to a baby seal.
He's straight over onto the party boat
like he hasn't had fanny for five years.
I don't care. Gary, go suck eggs.
Sometimes people just forget where they are,
and just need someone to lead them
and to have a bit of fun.
On the boat, watching the sunset.
Perfect end to a perfect day.
Me boyfriend's just arrived.
I want to have a nice meal with him.
Sophie and Joel have gone out, and thank fuck for that.
No, he's fucking... Ah, it's amazing.
Going out in the clubs.
He should have been like, "I can't wait
to spend time with Sophie."
Joel's very clever. That's how he's managed
to get Sophie to stay with him for as long as he fucking has.
'Cause he's really good at manipulating.
Thank you, darling.
If Joel's not gone within a week,
I'm fucking making him leave.
Joel, I don't know what to order
'cause I don't know what anything is.
Have you got an English menu?
Is there an English menu? No.
All are in Spanish. Can you just do a spag bowl?
Sorry? A spag bowl.
Yeah. Yeah?
I want to just tell him how I'm feeling right now,
and what is gonna make me happy.
I love you with all me heart.
I love you so much.
I promise you this time 'round,
no other girls will be involved.
You know what, Joel?
I am not gonna be left to mug this time.
So we're in Cancun on spring break.
It's gonna be packed full of fanny.
I'm just going to be thinking about you,
and paying attention to you,
and I'll prove it to you, all right?
The worst thing that could happen
is seeing me boyfriend
dancing with another girl,
or another girl grinding on him.
It could break me heart.
Me and Gary are such good friends.
It's going so well it's unbelievable.
It's me and Charlotte.
We're never, ever just gonna be friends.
Flirting, banter, flanter.
We're always going to be doing it.
Me dad's always taught us
you'll always find out the true person
when you go abroad with them.
The game has begun.
We both want to, but it's just who's gonna give in first.
(flatulence) Oh, God.
So do you reckon you'll bone Gary again?
I'm really liking Gary at the minute.
We're getting on dead well.
Now we're getting on so well all of the time,
it's making us think, shit,
I think I'm liking him even more.
How can that work?
They can't physically deny it.
They are in love with each other.
They're just meant to be together.
We'll go to the gym anytime, anywhere.
It's like every day you're in Cancun,
you can go Mexican wrestling.
The name is Joker.
This bloke takes things so fucking seriously.
Wrestling's his life.
He's got this stupid fucking gimp mask on, right?
He's got us running 'round doing all these exercises.
I can't take him serious.
I learned how to roly-poly when I was three,
shortly followed by pulling birds at four.
I'm guessing James has missed both of them lessons.
(laughter)
Push the... Push the...
Oh!
(crying out)
I look over at Jay, and I see his face.
I can tell straightaway something's wrong.
Oh, fuck.
Oh. Ah.
I haven't got a clue what's wrong with me leg.
I just know it looks absolutely fucked.
I don't want to tell James how bad it is,
in case he starts getting, like, panicky.
This is literally the worst thing that
I've ever seen in terms of injury.
Like, his knee is on the other side
of his fucking leg.
Oh, I can't look.
So it's Joel's first day, and we want to show this cockney boy
how us Geordies party.
It's like a battle of the couples.
You've got me and Joel, Barbie and Ken.
Then you've got Ricci and Vicky.
Action Man and Cindy. Who's more in love?
Who won't argue as much? Who fucking knows?
I turn to look at Ricci, who's standing with Joel,
and I notice Joel standing, waving at a couple girls.
Well, yeah, that's what you're meant to do.
What? Ignore her!
He's disrespecting her.
He's here for a reason, and the reason is
to see her and spend time with her.
He shouldn't be looking at other girls.
If she looked at Ricci, Ricci would be like--
"Yeah, fuck off."
You handle your business, babe.
I'm like fuck sake, man.
I can't kick off with me boyfriend
for waving at somebody.
He's not sticking his cock up her.
So why would I be bothered?
Cock in the pants, right?
You can wave. You can say, "Hey, I'm Joel."
Sophie will not listen to sense when it comes to Joel.
I seen it. She's not...
You're crazy in the head.
No, I'm not crazy.
Hey, don't call my fucking girlfriend crazy.
So we're just kicking back, and it's a really nice day out,
and then it gets spoiled.
Did you just not say to me right there,
"Oh, look at these girls"? Did you or did you not?
I said, "Look at the girls," like fucking...
Did you or did you not?
Look at these girls, standing there.
I didn't take it like that.
Yeah, but not in that sort of way.
Before I know it, it's all explosion.
Are you serious, bro? I'm serious, bro.
Yeah. Don't fucking talk to him like that, right?
I came over to be nice to Sophie and do her a favor.
Don't you dare start.
You fuckin' tit!
All hell is breaking loose.
Everyone is arguing with each other.
I'm getting angry now.
I'll fucking stand up [bleep].
Don't even fucking try it. Shh, now.
What were you doing?
Put yourself in my position.
I know. I know.
Exactly. I get it. You're always right.
They're either all lovey-dovey
or they keep arguing and fighting.
I don't know what's going on.
Obviously, James hasn't banged anyone,
and I think he's been thinking about it,
and he's stepping his game up.
And today, he's just totally fucked his game up.
After five hours of fucking agony in hospital,
all I can think now is, for fuck's sake,
I'm on these crutches for the rest of the holiday.
We tried to fit him in the fucking Jeep.
Obviously he can't bend his leg, so we can't get him in the Jeep.
He's fucked.
So we call a taxi over
and bring him back to the Villa.
Fuck!
This is horrible.
Fuck. Oh, my God.
I've never seen anything like this.
How am I supposed to bang him if he's only got one leg?
I've never been in this much pain in me fucking life.
At least it wasn't the cock.
You just gotta find girls willing to be on top.
I'm willing.
Oh...
Honestly, it's fucking--
I did not want my day to be...
We should get one of those little call buttons
that you can just press in the middle of the night
if you need us.
He can't move, so this is her perfect chance.
I've never been in this much pain in me life.
Bless her!
Holly's staying in just to look after me.
You'd make a fucking decent pillow if you felt like.
I know. I think it's the tits.
Tonight we're hitting Sweet Club.
It's a nightmare James isn't out.
Charlotte-- 'cause we're friends-- thinks
it's her role to be my new wing man.
We're in Cancun, I'm having the best time of me life.
¶
We're all having a dead good night.
Everyone is getting on dead well.
Joel's even getting on with everyone,
and he's being dead good.
I don't want to look, in case I see something I don't like.
I don't want to look like a psycho girlfriend
who's watching him, every move.
He looks like he's having a good time, dancing with the boys.
The rules are working.
Joel's in a night club, and he's not talking to the girls.
The attention's all on me for once.
And I'm starting to like it.
The kid has still got a lot to prove, in my eyes.
I mean, he's still not gotta look at another girl.
He hasn't got to cheat.
He hasn't got to do anything out of line.
When he's done all that, yes, I will trust him.
What the fuck? Where's me quilt?
I've got it on me.
Are you comfy?
Bloody lovely.
Holly's there to fucking aid us,
to sort us out, to look after us,
get us anything I want.
Please shout if you need us.
Okay, I'll ring the bell.
I'll have to bear that in mind if nothing happens
in the next couple of weeks, like.
Goodnight. Mwah.
See you in the morning. See you in the morning.
My mission right now is to basically
just be his best friend.
Because it's not just all about the cock,
I do actually care about him.
Gary and me are being, like, best friends.
I'm being a proper wingwoman.
I'm pointing out girls for him.
I'm getting off with loads of lads.
It's all going fine and dandy.
Oh no, no it's not. No it's not-- wait a second.
I think I'm jealous. Gary's down there dancing
with a 78-year-old.
She's that old. She looks like she's from
me nana's knitting club.
She's talking to this innocent bird.
Like, what the fuck goes through her head?
Psycho Charlotte is back.
It's like back in the day--
Charlotte and Gary arguing again.
I will not be happy until I've punched Gary right in the face.
One minute she's pointing out birds to bang, next minute
I'm talking to a girl, she goes fucking psycho.
What's that all about?
She needs to sort her fucking head out.
Without even realizing what I've accomplished tonight,
is I've totally cock-blocked Gary.
Shit.
This will be interesting.
Tonight was just for me a disaster.
And if that's how she reacts when I talk to a girl,
this is my point.
This is exactly why I haven't slept with her.
(shrieking)
Fucking smashed.
I'm an independent woman.
(Charlotte) I'm fucking smashed.
Some would fucking say so.
All I hear is this screamy voice.
Shit, we thought
That's Charlotte, and shock,
she's fucking mortal.
Just when I thought things were gonna get better,
they go really bad.
(gasps) Shit, I've done it.
I'm so angry, I'm gonna remove meself from the situation.
I'm like a crazy rock star.
Aah!
Marilyn Manson couldn't get a look in.
My God.
Last night blew any other night out the water.
We were all over the fucking place.
I feel really bad.
I shouldn't have did what I did last night.
I don't know why I did it, and I'm gonna apologize.
I want to apologize and say I'm sincerely sorry,
and I hope to God he'll forgive us.
Hi. All right? I'm sorry.
I'm not gonna deny it anymore. I still like him.
When is this going to end?
All of a sudden, boom, psycho Charlotte is back.
It was like, totally out of the fucking blue.
I'd rather she was honest with us and just said,
"Gaz, don't put it in front of us.
I do like you. Don't rub it in me face."
Then we could work around it, and I wouldn't upset that.
I wouldn't have psycho Charlotte.
Oh, come here. (crying)
Come here, come here.
We can't just be friends either,
'cause that's making worse.
I need to stop thinking that he even likes us back.
It's just so hard.
Last night, Charlotte was out of line.
She did really act fucking ridiculously,
but she is crying, she is sorry.
There's only so long I can stay mad at Charlotte for.
So I just gave her a little hug, and that's it, forgotten.
Sun's out. What's better to do
than go to a beach party with the lads, get pissed.
Let's fucking have it.
Gaz, if you see a girl, and she's got a mate,
I'll go and talk to her mate.
Straight up.
For me, Joel's got a bird. He's seeing Sophie.
He should be in Jay's mindset.
I know I'm here in paradise, but I'm just thinking
about me girlfriend Chloe.
Joel's still in my mindset.
Can you talk Italian? I lived there.
So you can talk it proper. Yeah.
I can talk a little bit. Okay, say something.
Um.... Gracias.
No, that Spanish! It's grazie.
Yeah, that's all I learned.
I bet you get...
He's 60% in a relationship, 40% not.
Joel keeps forgetting he's got a girlfriend.
You like boys from London? Here, yeah.
I won't do anything wrong, just having a good time.
All he's bothered about at the minute is pulling lasses.
He couldn't give a fuck about Soph.
Just 'cause Sophie's not here doesn't mean
she's not going to find out.
You got tan lines? Yes. Obviously.
Gotta show me.
No. Gotta show me.
Me and Ricci just need some time to chill out.
Sometimes you just need a little bit of time
on your own with your lad.
He came up with a really nice idea to go for a picnic.
Fucking gorgeous, isn't it?
Vi and Ri.
(Vicky laughs)
It's perfect, and I'm so happy
that I get to share this with Ricci.
We're nothing like Sophie and Joel.
Of course we're not. Of course we're not.
Thing is with our relationship, we both want it work.
We're going to spend the rest of our lives with each other.
With them, they're just fucking around.
Everyone else in the house is, like,
talking about him behind his back
and slagging him off.
And then, like, having a drink with him, like,
it's not a bother. And I'm like,
should we be doing that, though?
Because if Sophie's okay with being treat like an idiot,
that means we should be okay
with her being treated like that.
Today's been absolutely perfect with Vicky.
Away from the house, away from the drama,
away from the gossip.
I need to talk to you. What you say?
I've been thinking about me and Gary all day.
And now, I know I need to be honest with him.
You know what you said before around the pool?
When you said you just want us
to be honest with you from now on?
I'm feeling really down at the minute,
especially with what I did last night,
'cause it was horrible.
I shouldn't have did it.
And I just want you to know that
I'll be out, and it does...
So just remember that. Keep that in mind.
Okay?
That's fine.
I genuinely think I'd get less of fucking bollic
if Charlotte was me girlfriend.
Good? Yeah.
There's nothing worse than having to stay in the house.
Bye, James.
Oh. Thanks for saying goodbye.
It's all right, babe. Have a bloody lovely night.
Fucking hell. I need to get out as well.
I need to find meself a bird.
I think me balls are more swollen
than me knee at the moment.
We'll try and not wake you up when we come in.
You know that'll happen anyway.
Tonight we're going to the City. It's an amazing club.
It's gonna be off the hook.
At the minute, no one's got any trust for Joel.
The problem is Sophie can't see it.
When Jay tells me now that Joel's not right for us,
that he doesn't like our relationship,
I start to think, "Fuck."
Why doesn't everyone leave me alone, leave Joel alone,
and just fucking fuck off?
Gary's not pulling, and I'm starting to feel
like I'm ruining his fun.
Charlotte doesn't want to cock-block Gary.
Gary doesn't want to talk to girls in front of Charlotte.
But Gary should be allowed to talk to girls
in front of Charlotte.
And Charlotte shouldn't get annoyed at Gary
for talking to girls.
I really have had enough.
Why can't I just get over Gary?
Fucking yes.
Finally I can get out of this stupid house.
It's been doing me head in.
Me leg's feeling much better. I'm rested.
All I want to do is go out and find meself a little worldy.
Oh, fuck off.
Today's the day we're going to try and release James
back into the wild, and help him pull a worldy
and some wheelies maybe on his wheelchair.
I'm gonna get fucking reckless.
Me first day out with this cast on...
you never know, I might just play on it
and get meself a sympathy bang.
What happened?
You're lying. No, I did.
No you did not.
It feels so good.
The tunes are on, I'm on me crutches,
I'm having a bit of a fucking dance.
It's just back to normal. Bosh, bosh, bosh!
Me and Gaz are at the beach bar getting a couple of birds
that he'd been chatting to the day before.
Joel was here yesterday Yeah?
That's his girlfriend, isn't it?
The one standing next to him.
He said that they weren't, they're like, on and off.
He's like, "I don't even know where she is."
That's what he said? He said that? Wow.
What the fuck? I don't think Sophie would
describe your relationship as on/off.
Holy shit.
Joel can't say to a random girl he just met at a beach party
that his relationship's on/off,
and he doesn't know what's happening,
and then tell Sophie he's in love with her.
That just makes him look like a fucking liar.
That's what she said? On/off.
It couldn't be more fucking on.
Joel started off pretty low down in my estimation,
but now, fucking hell,
he's way down there.
I'm really by myself today. That's good.
Your girlfriend's here? Yeah.
He's playing Sophie for a mug. I don't like it.
Where's your other mate? Down there.
¶
There's cock left, right, and center.
Charlotte needs to bang.
She needs to get over Gary.
And I'm gonna wingwoman her.
And I know her type.
Forget "Baywatch."
Today, I'm on "Bulgewatch."
And I spot someone.
Do you think he's good? No, man, I don't--
This is me friend Charlotte. Charlotte.
Hi. How you doing?
I'm Andy. Hi, Andy.
I'm so angry. I'm like, "I don't want it!"
Oh, my good God. Thank you, Sophie.
I gotta talk to the most beautiful woman here, right?
She's not sunburnt, but she's gone red
because she fancies the bulge boy from Australia.
How old are you? How old do you think I am?
He's tanned, he's got muscles like the Hulk.
If you get it right, you get to kiss me.
What? Really?
His eyes is so blue I feel like I'm staring at the sky.
26.
Ooh.
No, it wasn't right 'cause I lied.
Well, I'm just pecking you, mind, no tongues.
All right, no tongues.
He's not even a dickhead.
I'm friends with Vicky, I'm friends with Sophie,
I'm friends with James, but Gary and me don't see eye to eye.
Gary who?
I'm actually imaging having sex with Andy,
and I'm getting excited.
He does, doesn't he?
Gary's watching over.
Charlotte never kisses boys in front of Gary.
And I know that Gary will want to get one over.
You drink tequila, we'll do tequila.
Let the games begin.
Spring break.
I'm not threatened one bit
by the lad that Charlotte's gonna do.
If I wanted to, I'd just take her straight back.
I'm dead glad we did that, mate.
My name's Charlotte, by the way.
Shannon. Charlotte.
No, but I'm Shannon. All right, now.
You're Charlotte. Yeah, you're Shannon.
Charlotte hasn't had sex yet in Cancun,
and I look at her fanny, and it's winking.
It's winking eyes looking at Andy.
Get in there, girl. That's me girl, Charlotte.
Tash one.
Fucking hell, Charlotte's managed to pull herself a lad?
What's going on? Yes!
We're off to Dadyo's tonight, and I want to have a good night.
After what I told the boys today, I don't want there to be
a fucking massive chaotic night between Joel and Sophie.
¶ Sexual healing, baby
Bless her, Holly's staying in looking after us,
making sure I'm all right.
It's a really couple-y night out tonight.
Sophie's here with Joel, and I'm here with Ricci.
We've all kind of split off into our little groups,
and I can't say I mind.
I'm just waiting for the conversation to pop up about
Charlotte and Andy. Neh neh neh neh neh.
Fucking bring it on.
Charlotte and Gary need to cut all this friend bullshit out.
It's not true.
They're doing it for a cover-up. They love each other.
And they need to get in a relationship.
Watching Charlotte get a fella
doesn't make me jealous, like, at all.
If anything, it's a good thing for me,
and it might eventually get her on that track
to actually being friends.
Joel looks nervous. I think he knows what's coming.
But Vicky needs to speak to Soph and get this sorted.
It's hard. It's horrible because
I care about her so much, and I know she loves Joel.
Deep down, I agree with her,
but to her face, I think, "Fuck that. No.
I'm not letting you win this battle."
I know everybody hates him,
but I'm going to do what I want to do.
Oh, thanks for caring?
I'm caring?
Know what? The new nurse role is actually
really, really working for me.
Your hair does look nicer.
Feels soft.
Yeah. Soft, darling.
The flanter's, like, more enhanced.
Thank you for being a good friend.
I know you would.
Holly wants to bang us. Fucking standard, really.
She's had it once.
Of course she's gonna want it again.
What the fuck, man?
Is that the cock? Yes, it is.
You've got...
By the end of this holiday,
we will have had sex.
I always get what I want.
(mutters)
Why don't you just it through your stupid head
that I am the only girl you need.
Get in. It looks like Sophie's finally seeing sense.
Joel's a fucking weasel, man.
When I see how happy Ricci and Vicky are and how much he gives
her attention, I wish Joel could do that for me.
The thing about Joel is, Sophie's me best friend,
so because she loves him, I've gotta like him.
But because she's my best friend and he's a dick to her,
I've also got to hate him.
It's only a matter of time before Gaz and Charlotte
have a sex time themselves.
No, no, you don't know how much I like.
That's for you.
Thanks.
Thank you, that's nice.
You happy now? No.
A rose does not make me happy.
It's a start, though.
Kisses and cuddles make me happy.
Somehow, Joel has managed to wind his way out of it again.
I genuinely think unless Sophie watched Joel bang someone
in front of her, then it might actually sink in.
They want me to finish with him but I like him,
and I want to be with him.
I want to give him time.
And I want to see how much he'll improve, 'cause he is improving.
Ow! Oh.
Hand out. I do what I can.
Put your hand out. Trust us.
Close your eyes.
Oh, it's not something dead, is it?
No. Put your hand out.
You promise? Promise.
It's an ice picker.
It's not the best present I've ever had, but I mean,
it's the thought that counts, isn't it?
I brought them home for her, give them to her by the pool,
nice little romantic setting.
I can open me fanny flaps
when I want to apply me fresh cream.
Night night, Charlotte.
Just killed the mood.
What me and Joel need right now is a good spooning sesh.
I can't sleep in my bed because it's so small,
so Gary's gonna let me and Joel
sleep in his double bed.
But you know what Gary wants.
Something from Charlotte.
Hopefully he's on top.
That's the funniest thing I've ever seen.
Topping and tailing is fine. Friends do it all the time.
There should be no complications.
Good night, Gary.
Good night, Charlotte. Good night, Rebecca.
Good night.
Me and Charlotte are top and tailing,
and the feelings do come back.
I do want to have sex with her.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on a second.
There are fingers entering my knickers.
It turns out topping and tailing is the perfect position
for fingers to touch the vagina.
It's all just a massive game.
He's got us back.
¶ Everyone's here to party
¶ If you wanna go back if you wanna go back ¶
¶ Everyone's here to party
¶ If you wanna go back if you wanna go back ¶
¶ Everyone's here to party
¶ Let's party party let's party hard ¶
¶ Wanna go back...
¶ Hold on hold on hold on