1 00:00:06,171 --> 00:00:07,471 ¶ 2 00:00:07,473 --> 00:00:09,172 We are back in Newcastle, 3 00:00:09,174 --> 00:00:10,740 back in our playground. 4 00:00:10,742 --> 00:00:12,308 Let the party begin. 5 00:00:12,310 --> 00:00:13,075 Hi! 6 00:00:13,077 --> 00:00:14,376 It's a new boy! 7 00:00:14,378 --> 00:00:16,711 (all) Hey, hey, hey, hey! 8 00:00:16,713 --> 00:00:17,578 What the fuck? 9 00:00:17,580 --> 00:00:18,579 She's got an attitude. 10 00:00:18,581 --> 00:00:19,880 I tried to face it. I slapped her ass. 11 00:00:19,882 --> 00:00:21,481 Really annoying, just like thrush. 12 00:00:21,483 --> 00:00:23,449 Surprised, I never wanted us to work for her again. 13 00:00:23,451 --> 00:00:25,484 To be honest, that's the best we done last time. 14 00:00:25,486 --> 00:00:27,552 Does anybody know how to spray tan? 15 00:00:27,554 --> 00:00:30,588 If you want that gash, you gotta spend that cash. 16 00:00:30,590 --> 00:00:33,123 It's gonna be so hard for me to do this, 17 00:00:33,125 --> 00:00:33,790 or move Charlotte up. 18 00:00:33,792 --> 00:00:36,259 I'm not speaking with her, so... 19 00:00:36,261 --> 00:00:37,159 I know that from Dan. 20 00:00:37,161 --> 00:00:40,295 Ricci's face is in a right little strop. 21 00:00:40,297 --> 00:00:40,762 Aah! 22 00:00:40,764 --> 00:00:43,364 I think the drink might be stronger in Leeds. 23 00:00:43,366 --> 00:00:46,567 This isn't the party that we were hoping for. 24 00:00:46,569 --> 00:00:47,501 (shouting, screaming) 25 00:00:47,503 --> 00:00:50,337 It won't happen again. Get out of this house. 26 00:00:50,339 --> 00:00:52,539 You're the only person that I'll speak-- 27 00:00:52,541 --> 00:00:54,574 I'll speak with, and I feel like I can 28 00:00:54,576 --> 00:00:55,808 be-- be myself in front of. 29 00:00:55,810 --> 00:00:59,344 Right now, I don't want to stand up for her. 30 00:00:59,346 --> 00:01:01,846 I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life. 31 00:01:01,848 --> 00:01:04,682 This is exactly what happened to me. 32 00:01:04,684 --> 00:01:05,449 ¶ 33 00:01:05,451 --> 00:01:07,851 I am a Geordie Girl with a V.I.P. edge. 34 00:01:07,853 --> 00:01:10,086 My biggest fear is getting wrinkles. 35 00:01:10,088 --> 00:01:12,621 Got a bangin' body and the banter to match. 36 00:01:12,623 --> 00:01:14,422 I should have a degree in pulling women. 37 00:01:14,424 --> 00:01:16,490 I would never kiss anyone without a six-pack. 38 00:01:16,492 --> 00:01:18,558 The hardest graft I've ever done is doing my hair. 39 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:20,560 I could talk the back legs off a donkey. 40 00:01:20,562 --> 00:01:22,828 Got the looks, got the charm-- it just works. 41 00:01:22,830 --> 00:01:25,931 I'm fit, I'm flirty, and I've got Double "F"s. 42 00:01:25,933 --> 00:01:30,268 (all) "Geordie Shore," why aye, aye! 43 00:01:30,270 --> 00:01:33,704 ¶ 44 00:01:33,706 --> 00:01:37,507 (telephone ringing) 45 00:01:38,242 --> 00:01:40,643 Ricci and Gaz have been kicked out by Anna, 46 00:01:40,645 --> 00:01:42,211 all the girls are in Leeds, 47 00:01:42,213 --> 00:01:44,746 so it's just me and Jay left. 48 00:01:44,748 --> 00:01:45,580 The phone's going. 49 00:01:45,582 --> 00:01:47,582 We know who it will be, and what it will be for. 50 00:01:47,584 --> 00:01:49,917 It will be Anna, and she'll be wanting us at work. 51 00:01:49,919 --> 00:01:51,184 (Anna) James, all, good morning. 52 00:01:51,186 --> 00:01:52,285 I've got a job for you and Jay. 53 00:01:52,287 --> 00:01:57,123 I need you up, dressed and ready, and out, immediately. 54 00:01:58,191 --> 00:01:59,791 Really, yes. 55 00:01:59,793 --> 00:02:03,094 I think you need to get yourself ready and do your job, 56 00:02:03,096 --> 00:02:04,095 and no complaining. 57 00:02:04,097 --> 00:02:05,429 We're sick of working. 58 00:02:05,431 --> 00:02:07,264 We're absolutely knackered out. 59 00:02:07,266 --> 00:02:07,831 All we're doing, 60 00:02:07,833 --> 00:02:10,867 the last few days, is work, work, work. 61 00:02:10,869 --> 00:02:15,404 ¶ 62 00:02:15,406 --> 00:02:16,705 The last of 'em were at Leeds, 63 00:02:16,707 --> 00:02:17,939 and we worked twice that day. 64 00:02:17,941 --> 00:02:20,107 We basically done one of their jobs. 65 00:02:20,109 --> 00:02:21,708 It's not fuckin' fair, man. 66 00:02:21,710 --> 00:02:23,743 Me and James, at work yet again. 67 00:02:23,745 --> 00:02:26,011 We can't wait for the others to come back 68 00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:26,845 to spread the workload, 69 00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:29,614 'cause we're fucking sick of it. 70 00:02:30,215 --> 00:02:32,549 Ready for action? No. 71 00:02:32,551 --> 00:02:33,716 Come on, guys. 72 00:02:33,718 --> 00:02:35,184 I'm not takin' any of it. 73 00:02:35,186 --> 00:02:37,319 What is-- what is actually happening in there? 74 00:02:37,321 --> 00:02:39,087 You're just delivering the food. 75 00:02:39,089 --> 00:02:40,421 It's a ladies' day. 76 00:02:40,423 --> 00:02:41,555 Anna, how much of 'em there? 77 00:02:41,557 --> 00:02:44,124 How about you get to leave your trousers on. 78 00:02:44,126 --> 00:02:46,626 What, do I have to do it with my pants off as well? 79 00:02:46,628 --> 00:02:47,627 You were serving hot buns, 80 00:02:47,629 --> 00:02:50,763 and the whole thing was "buns and buns." 81 00:02:50,765 --> 00:02:53,332 Topless horsin'. Fuckin' hell, Anna. 82 00:02:53,334 --> 00:02:54,633 I'm starting to think you might like 83 00:02:54,635 --> 00:02:56,735 me and Jay topless a little bit too much now. 84 00:02:56,737 --> 00:03:00,038 There's putting private booths in the house next. 85 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:00,671 Look, it's perfect. 86 00:03:00,673 --> 00:03:05,308 18th birthday, young ladies, pretty girls. 87 00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:07,376 Ooh, the third table is sitting down. 88 00:03:07,378 --> 00:03:08,844 No matter what she says, what she does, 89 00:03:08,846 --> 00:03:11,746 I am not working today, end of. 90 00:03:11,748 --> 00:03:13,581 Definite work, man. Fuck that. 91 00:03:13,583 --> 00:03:14,615 Definitely not, though. 92 00:03:14,617 --> 00:03:15,716 Who the fuck's this? Guys! 93 00:03:15,718 --> 00:03:18,085 We've got 200 women who want to see you 94 00:03:18,087 --> 00:03:18,819 with your tops off. 95 00:03:18,821 --> 00:03:21,388 Fucking hell. Then she sends this 96 00:03:21,390 --> 00:03:23,590 big drag queen out. 97 00:03:23,592 --> 00:03:24,824 Can't you do it? 98 00:03:24,826 --> 00:03:25,825 Come on, now. For me. 99 00:03:25,827 --> 00:03:27,159 Do you know what? If you come-- 100 00:03:27,161 --> 00:03:28,393 if you come down the right way on the-- 101 00:03:28,395 --> 00:03:29,394 Come down? Come down where? 102 00:03:29,396 --> 00:03:31,028 Where do you want us to come down to? 103 00:03:31,030 --> 00:03:31,561 (laughter) 104 00:03:31,563 --> 00:03:32,662 Fuckin' hell. Do you know what it is 105 00:03:32,664 --> 00:03:34,263 to have scares from your actual life? 106 00:03:34,265 --> 00:03:35,430 So, I'll send one of the birds out, 107 00:03:35,432 --> 00:03:37,331 yous two will come in and do your job? 108 00:03:37,333 --> 00:03:40,567 Yeah. Stay here. One minute. 109 00:03:40,569 --> 00:03:43,002 She's about 7-foot tall, 110 00:03:43,004 --> 00:03:45,738 fuckin' 16-foot wide. 111 00:03:45,740 --> 00:03:46,805 Just looking, thinking, 112 00:03:46,807 --> 00:03:49,040 "Please, don't. Just don't even talk with us." 113 00:03:49,042 --> 00:03:51,142 I was absolutely petrified. 114 00:03:53,512 --> 00:03:56,347 All I want to do is get the fuck out of here. 115 00:03:56,349 --> 00:03:58,515 Where are you off to now? 116 00:03:58,517 --> 00:04:01,084 ¶ 117 00:04:01,086 --> 00:04:02,518 No, no, I don't want to go to work, 118 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:03,685 'cause all I want to do is just go out 119 00:04:03,687 --> 00:04:06,654 and get absolutely mauled. I just want to party. 120 00:04:06,656 --> 00:04:11,592 ¶ 121 00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:18,698 I found Leeds actually really amusing. 122 00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:19,532 I had a good time. 123 00:04:19,534 --> 00:04:20,599 I like-- I can't even remember 124 00:04:20,601 --> 00:04:21,700 a time when I didn't laugh. 125 00:04:21,702 --> 00:04:22,801 People had quite a giggle. 126 00:04:22,803 --> 00:04:24,102 I really had a good time. 127 00:04:24,104 --> 00:04:25,236 I loved it, me. 128 00:04:25,238 --> 00:04:26,470 I'm basically just sitting by myself, 129 00:04:26,472 --> 00:04:27,737 I cannot be honest with anyone. 130 00:04:27,739 --> 00:04:29,805 I feel like the outsider again. 131 00:04:29,807 --> 00:04:31,473 I've never, ever felt so alone 132 00:04:31,475 --> 00:04:33,808 and wanting to go home in all my life. 133 00:04:33,810 --> 00:04:35,075 (laughter) 134 00:04:35,077 --> 00:04:37,544 She's looking upset, just sitting by herself, 135 00:04:37,546 --> 00:04:40,747 and I don't want anybody feeling like that. 136 00:04:40,749 --> 00:04:43,382 You're fine, woman. 137 00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:46,785 I'm sorry about last night. 138 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:47,385 Yeah? 139 00:04:47,387 --> 00:04:51,055 'Cause what a fuckin' bunch of scumbags for-- 140 00:04:51,057 --> 00:04:52,256 for thought were doing the right thing. 141 00:04:52,258 --> 00:04:55,058 It's obviously hard coming into a situation like this, 142 00:04:55,060 --> 00:04:57,527 where yous have all got really strong bonds 143 00:04:57,529 --> 00:04:58,461 with each other. Yeah. 144 00:04:58,463 --> 00:05:01,197 And then, for me to not know anyone... 145 00:05:01,199 --> 00:05:01,630 Yeah. 146 00:05:01,632 --> 00:05:03,131 and no one really gives us a chance 147 00:05:03,133 --> 00:05:04,765 to get to know them. I know. 148 00:05:04,767 --> 00:05:05,632 Sometimes I forget 149 00:05:05,634 --> 00:05:06,799 she is only an 18-year-old girl. 150 00:05:06,801 --> 00:05:08,333 That's probably 'cause you came in giving it 151 00:05:08,335 --> 00:05:10,568 big licks about how it was my match and that. 152 00:05:10,570 --> 00:05:11,802 I forget, she's not my match. 153 00:05:11,804 --> 00:05:13,637 I forget she's nothing but a silly little girl 154 00:05:13,639 --> 00:05:15,605 who sometimes does need looking after. 155 00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:17,373 So you want us to stop being who I am? 156 00:05:17,375 --> 00:05:18,407 No, be who you are, mate. 157 00:05:18,409 --> 00:05:21,176 But, not everything has to be such a big show. 158 00:05:21,178 --> 00:05:24,445 I don't know why she thinks she can judge us. 159 00:05:24,447 --> 00:05:25,312 She doesn't know us. 160 00:05:25,314 --> 00:05:28,381 I've been myself the whole time I've been here. 161 00:05:28,383 --> 00:05:35,287 ¶ 162 00:05:36,722 --> 00:05:38,489 It's been a long girls' weekend, 163 00:05:38,491 --> 00:05:39,690 and all I'm dying to do is get 164 00:05:39,692 --> 00:05:41,992 my 'jamas on and get into bed. 165 00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:45,995 (Charlotte) Whoa! 166 00:05:45,997 --> 00:05:48,664 Them are nice lilies. 167 00:05:48,666 --> 00:05:50,432 Imagine my fucking surprise when I walk through 168 00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:54,102 my front door and I'm greeted by the Amazon rainforest. 169 00:06:03,345 --> 00:06:07,548 I think Vicky should feel 170 00:06:07,550 --> 00:06:09,583 kind of fucking happy. 171 00:06:09,585 --> 00:06:11,952 Two boys chasing after her, 172 00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:13,420 with bunches of flowers? 173 00:06:13,422 --> 00:06:17,190 He's just clearly trying to buy you back. 174 00:06:19,126 --> 00:06:22,261 The flowers just make us feel bad. 175 00:06:22,263 --> 00:06:24,363 I'm not saying I'm trying to forget about him 176 00:06:24,365 --> 00:06:27,466 and just move on, but this-- 177 00:06:27,468 --> 00:06:30,469 this just makes it so much harder. 178 00:06:32,438 --> 00:06:36,607 ¶ 179 00:06:39,210 --> 00:06:40,376 It's all right! 180 00:06:40,378 --> 00:06:41,643 Guys! 181 00:06:41,645 --> 00:06:44,579 Whose are them big flowers? 182 00:06:44,581 --> 00:06:45,513 Who are they off? 183 00:06:45,515 --> 00:06:46,614 Ready to go and show Leeds? 184 00:06:46,616 --> 00:06:48,315 Off Dan? Are they? 185 00:06:48,317 --> 00:06:51,217 I'm a bit confused at the fact why 186 00:06:51,219 --> 00:06:54,553 lads would go and buy Vicky flowers. 187 00:06:54,555 --> 00:06:56,054 Nice flowers, them, though. 188 00:06:56,056 --> 00:06:57,755 Do they not know the real Vicky? 189 00:06:57,757 --> 00:06:59,990 I fuckin' know her, and I certainly 190 00:06:59,992 --> 00:07:03,159 wouldn't buy her flowers. 191 00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:04,660 Come on, you go first. 192 00:07:04,662 --> 00:07:05,560 We'll do it together. 193 00:07:05,562 --> 00:07:07,428 Do you think we should do it together, though? 194 00:07:07,430 --> 00:07:08,562 We're a double act. 195 00:07:08,564 --> 00:07:10,797 We're all really bored, 196 00:07:10,799 --> 00:07:14,267 and Sophie suggests stand-up comedy. 197 00:07:14,269 --> 00:07:16,902 Hmm, I'll have a little dabble in that. 198 00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:18,737 Dibble, dabble, dooblee doo-doo. 199 00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:20,505 You look a bit tired, you do, love! 200 00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:24,275 You can carry your shopping in them bags. 201 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:25,576 (laughter) 202 00:07:25,578 --> 00:07:27,477 I could imagine me and Sophie 203 00:07:27,479 --> 00:07:29,913 being quite good at that. 204 00:07:29,915 --> 00:07:31,514 So, we're gonna try it out. 205 00:07:31,516 --> 00:07:32,248 We're gonna go 206 00:07:32,250 --> 00:07:35,517 to an open mic night in a comedy club. 207 00:07:36,519 --> 00:07:38,119 Who best to practice with, 208 00:07:38,121 --> 00:07:40,521 Vicky, the straight-talking fucker. 209 00:07:40,523 --> 00:07:43,223 She'll tell us if we're shit or not. 210 00:07:43,225 --> 00:07:44,691 (Sophie) Knock, knock. 211 00:07:44,693 --> 00:07:45,792 Who's there? 212 00:07:45,794 --> 00:07:47,794 Pubes. 213 00:07:47,796 --> 00:07:49,862 Sophie and Charlotte are really funny girls. 214 00:07:49,864 --> 00:07:52,631 Sophie is funny because she is so vulgar, 215 00:07:52,633 --> 00:07:55,333 and Charlotte is funny because she is just 216 00:07:55,335 --> 00:07:56,667 so goddamn thick. 217 00:07:56,669 --> 00:07:57,734 Me and Sophie went to get 218 00:07:57,736 --> 00:07:59,869 our bum holes cleaned the other day. 219 00:07:59,871 --> 00:08:00,636 Yep! Yeah? 220 00:08:00,638 --> 00:08:02,638 Sophie got put on her own table, 221 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:04,506 but the woman I put mine with 222 00:08:04,508 --> 00:08:07,742 got a bit of a bum day there. 223 00:08:07,744 --> 00:08:09,376 (all booing) 224 00:08:09,378 --> 00:08:11,644 We're realizing that we're not that good. 225 00:08:11,646 --> 00:08:13,278 We're actually quite pathetic. 226 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:17,348 Seriously, I think your biggest problem is hecklers. 227 00:08:17,350 --> 00:08:17,781 Well-- 228 00:08:17,783 --> 00:08:20,784 People being like, "You're shit! Get off!" 229 00:08:20,786 --> 00:08:21,618 I fucked your da! 230 00:08:21,620 --> 00:08:23,319 Yeah, definitely. That's a classic. 231 00:08:23,321 --> 00:08:24,119 Your ma's a whore! 232 00:08:24,121 --> 00:08:25,487 Yeah, that's definitely gonna be good. 233 00:08:25,489 --> 00:08:26,621 I licked your mum out! 234 00:08:26,623 --> 00:08:28,189 Gonna call you shitty shit! 235 00:08:28,191 --> 00:08:31,592 Don't need a high colonic irrigation. 236 00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:33,260 There's no shit left. 237 00:08:33,262 --> 00:08:36,129 I'm a bit worried about Charlotte's comebacks. 238 00:08:36,131 --> 00:08:36,596 What? 239 00:08:36,598 --> 00:08:38,130 On stage, at a comedy club, 240 00:08:38,132 --> 00:08:39,698 it's a completely different kettle of fish. 241 00:08:39,700 --> 00:08:43,201 I just really don't think they've fully grasped 242 00:08:43,203 --> 00:08:44,735 what they're letting themselves in for. 243 00:08:44,737 --> 00:08:47,137 You've got a lopped lip! 244 00:08:47,139 --> 00:08:48,505 You have, too! 245 00:08:48,507 --> 00:08:50,073 No. Oh, Charlotte. 246 00:08:50,075 --> 00:08:51,374 Having sex with you is like throwing 247 00:08:51,376 --> 00:08:54,210 a hot dog up North Umberland Street. 248 00:08:54,212 --> 00:08:55,844 Oh, God. 249 00:08:55,846 --> 00:09:00,248 I've heard that before. 250 00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:03,284 ¶ 251 00:09:03,286 --> 00:09:04,485 (all cheering) 252 00:09:04,487 --> 00:09:07,654 Saturday night, where else to go? 253 00:09:07,656 --> 00:09:10,023 Riverside. 254 00:09:14,028 --> 00:09:15,428 No, are you not? I'm not, James. 255 00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:17,730 Honestly, I feel like a new woman. 256 00:09:17,732 --> 00:09:18,997 Gary's hard to leave. 257 00:09:18,999 --> 00:09:21,099 I'm over him! 258 00:09:21,101 --> 00:09:24,001 Did you just-- You don't even know-- 259 00:09:26,637 --> 00:09:31,040 Night time, for Geordies, means a party. 260 00:09:31,641 --> 00:09:32,641 We're out on the piss. 261 00:09:32,643 --> 00:09:34,776 We're out on the pull. Get in. 262 00:09:34,778 --> 00:09:41,682 ¶ 263 00:09:52,527 --> 00:09:54,561 If fuckin' Becca's got with another lad, 264 00:09:54,563 --> 00:09:56,696 it doesn't bother us one bit. 265 00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:09,908 So Jason keeps going on about 266 00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:13,177 the boy that I've kissed in Leeds. 267 00:10:13,179 --> 00:10:14,845 Well, there's only one reason-- 268 00:10:14,847 --> 00:10:16,780 he's jealous. 269 00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:19,682 Yeah? (laughs) 270 00:10:19,684 --> 00:10:21,517 Out in Riverside, we're having a good time. 271 00:10:21,519 --> 00:10:23,919 We're dancing. The drinks are flowing. 272 00:10:23,921 --> 00:10:27,322 And, I spot Dan across the bar. 273 00:10:27,324 --> 00:10:29,490 Straight away, I get nervous 274 00:10:29,492 --> 00:10:31,225 and I'm not sure how to react, 275 00:10:31,227 --> 00:10:33,427 because I do feel guilty 276 00:10:33,429 --> 00:10:34,227 and I do feel bad, 277 00:10:34,229 --> 00:10:36,729 and I don't not care about him anymore. 278 00:10:39,199 --> 00:10:40,599 He doesn't want to speak to us, 279 00:10:40,601 --> 00:10:41,733 and he doesn't want to see us, 280 00:10:41,735 --> 00:10:43,367 and he makes that abundantly clear. 281 00:10:43,369 --> 00:10:46,169 But this has tore me apart. 282 00:10:49,072 --> 00:10:50,472 He can't send us flowers through the day 283 00:10:50,474 --> 00:10:53,708 and then not want to speak to us on the night time. 284 00:10:53,710 --> 00:10:54,942 I just can't be, uh-- 285 00:10:54,944 --> 00:10:57,477 I can't be in close proximity to him 286 00:10:57,479 --> 00:10:58,878 and not know what's going on. 287 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:01,146 I just want to leave. 288 00:11:09,555 --> 00:11:12,323 Is this drama never gonna end? 289 00:11:23,835 --> 00:11:27,704 I think Vicky still has a massive soft spot for Dan, 290 00:11:27,706 --> 00:11:29,806 'cause it's still unfinished business. 291 00:11:29,808 --> 00:11:32,775 So I think she's feeling a bit guilty. 292 00:11:32,777 --> 00:11:37,613 ¶ 293 00:11:38,815 --> 00:11:42,417 I've woken up this morning, and I feel rubbish. 294 00:11:42,419 --> 00:11:44,786 I was on a mission to pull last night, 295 00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:46,354 and I absolutely failed. 296 00:11:46,356 --> 00:11:49,123 I've started to think about Gary again, 297 00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,558 and I'm really missing him. 298 00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:53,459 ¶ 299 00:11:53,461 --> 00:11:54,927 Anna has decided to let me and Ricci 300 00:11:54,929 --> 00:11:58,864 back in the house, but this is our last chance. 301 00:11:58,866 --> 00:12:00,632 I'm not gonna fuck this up, though. 302 00:12:00,634 --> 00:12:02,166 So I just want to get packed, 303 00:12:02,168 --> 00:12:03,300 get everything done, and obviously 304 00:12:03,302 --> 00:12:04,701 go out to the house and see everyone again. 305 00:12:04,703 --> 00:12:06,469 I get to find out if James and Jay have been banging, 306 00:12:06,471 --> 00:12:09,305 I get to find out whether the girls have been arguing. 307 00:12:09,307 --> 00:12:10,239 But I knew for a fact, 308 00:12:10,241 --> 00:12:12,274 my granddad and my mom wanted to have words with us. 309 00:12:12,276 --> 00:12:16,177 I'm not very happy at what I've been hearing. 310 00:12:16,179 --> 00:12:17,311 Far from it. 311 00:12:17,313 --> 00:12:18,078 I'm bloody annoyed. 312 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:19,512 This is not a big deal. It was a little argument 313 00:12:19,514 --> 00:12:21,547 that happened because we both had some drink 314 00:12:21,549 --> 00:12:24,149 and that's literally it. It was nothing. 315 00:12:24,151 --> 00:12:26,217 Instead of getting into an argument, 316 00:12:26,219 --> 00:12:29,453 step back and keep out of it. 317 00:12:29,455 --> 00:12:32,522 I expect my granddad to tell us, "Look, 318 00:12:32,524 --> 00:12:33,589 "if you're gonna drink, chill out. 319 00:12:33,591 --> 00:12:35,290 "If someone does have an argument with you, 320 00:12:35,292 --> 00:12:36,024 just back down." 321 00:12:36,026 --> 00:12:37,091 So it was good words of wisdom. 322 00:12:37,093 --> 00:12:39,993 What's happening with Charlotte now in the house? 323 00:12:39,995 --> 00:12:40,626 Oh, God knows. 324 00:12:40,628 --> 00:12:42,060 Are you still-- Are you friends? 325 00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:43,127 I could sit here and I would say 326 00:12:43,129 --> 00:12:44,661 "I fucking hate Charlotte. She's a dickhead." 327 00:12:44,663 --> 00:12:46,162 Three hours turn, I could be banging 328 00:12:46,164 --> 00:12:46,795 the shit out of her. 329 00:12:46,797 --> 00:12:48,363 I honestly couldn't-- I couldn't tell you. 330 00:12:48,365 --> 00:12:50,631 Just remember, you could be on the other side 331 00:12:50,633 --> 00:12:52,599 of this... stick someday. 332 00:12:52,601 --> 00:12:53,199 One day. 333 00:12:53,201 --> 00:12:54,633 You might want some girl, and she'll keep 334 00:12:54,635 --> 00:12:56,267 pulling on you, "I'm not interested." 335 00:12:56,269 --> 00:12:58,335 That'd be good. That's a change, though. 336 00:12:58,337 --> 00:12:59,169 I like that. Aye. 337 00:12:59,171 --> 00:13:00,470 Look, I know at t he end of the day-- 338 00:13:00,472 --> 00:13:02,338 I mean, everybody likes Charlotte. 339 00:13:02,340 --> 00:13:03,706 I like Charlotte. 340 00:13:03,708 --> 00:13:05,474 And I think you like Charlotte. 341 00:13:05,476 --> 00:13:07,209 You know, you seem to get on really well. 342 00:13:07,211 --> 00:13:08,610 Charlotte is-- to me, is a good friend 343 00:13:08,612 --> 00:13:09,611 to have in there. Yes, she is. 344 00:13:09,613 --> 00:13:11,579 And that is why I don't want to lose her as a friend. 345 00:13:11,581 --> 00:13:14,048 I know, darlin', but I think she likes you 346 00:13:14,050 --> 00:13:17,317 a lot more than what you think. 347 00:13:17,319 --> 00:13:22,955 ¶ 348 00:13:27,527 --> 00:13:28,393 Hey! 349 00:13:28,395 --> 00:13:31,729 Fuckin' hell! Gaz. 350 00:13:33,565 --> 00:13:36,066 So, me and Sophie are in bed. 351 00:13:36,068 --> 00:13:37,100 I just hear a voice. 352 00:13:37,102 --> 00:13:40,169 A voice from the distant past. 353 00:13:40,171 --> 00:13:41,870 A voice from so long ago, 354 00:13:41,872 --> 00:13:44,639 it seems like it was World War II. 355 00:13:48,710 --> 00:13:50,277 It was Gary. 356 00:13:50,279 --> 00:13:51,177 Hi! 357 00:13:51,179 --> 00:13:52,378 There he is, 358 00:13:52,380 --> 00:13:54,113 looking sexy. 359 00:13:54,115 --> 00:13:55,080 Seeing Charlotte is awkward, 360 00:13:55,082 --> 00:13:56,314 'cause, see, I don't know whether to hug her 361 00:13:56,316 --> 00:13:57,615 and say, "Oh, hi. I missed you. 362 00:13:57,617 --> 00:13:59,183 You all right?" Or, it's like, 363 00:13:59,185 --> 00:14:02,386 "Are we speaking or are we not?" 364 00:14:02,388 --> 00:14:03,820 I don't want to admit it, 365 00:14:03,822 --> 00:14:05,388 but I feel like my stomach 366 00:14:05,390 --> 00:14:08,157 has just fell out my asshole. 367 00:14:08,159 --> 00:14:10,259 We've all missed them, especially the lad. 368 00:14:10,261 --> 00:14:12,461 I'm fucking buzzing to see them. 369 00:14:12,463 --> 00:14:14,396 So glad to have them back. 370 00:14:14,398 --> 00:14:15,397 We need to start banging birds, 371 00:14:15,399 --> 00:14:17,298 doing what we do best, and I'm gonna make 372 00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:19,967 fucking sure it happens. 373 00:14:19,969 --> 00:14:20,767 If Gary's back, 374 00:14:20,769 --> 00:14:24,003 Ricci best be coming back fucking soon. 375 00:14:24,005 --> 00:14:26,038 ¶ 376 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:26,838 What's the matter? 377 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:28,239 Nothing. I'm tired. 378 00:14:28,241 --> 00:14:29,373 What? I'm tired. 379 00:14:29,375 --> 00:14:31,375 All that banging you've been doing. 380 00:14:31,377 --> 00:14:32,976 No. What? 381 00:14:32,978 --> 00:14:33,409 No. 382 00:14:33,411 --> 00:14:35,310 It's like, what's happening? Are we speaking? 383 00:14:35,312 --> 00:14:36,544 Are you okay? Have you missed us? 384 00:14:36,546 --> 00:14:39,013 She's just like, "Mm-hmm, yep. 385 00:14:39,015 --> 00:14:40,347 Yeah, no, well. Mm-hmm." 386 00:14:40,349 --> 00:14:41,848 You okay lying here? 387 00:14:41,850 --> 00:14:43,549 I've always been okay. 388 00:14:43,551 --> 00:14:45,017 With me. Not really. 389 00:14:45,019 --> 00:14:46,752 Come and speak with me before I left all here. 390 00:14:46,754 --> 00:14:48,787 I don't think we should still not speak. 391 00:14:48,789 --> 00:14:49,821 Thanks for clearing that up. 392 00:14:49,823 --> 00:14:53,057 I think we should still continue not speaking. 393 00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:56,760 It's the only way we can get through living together 394 00:14:56,762 --> 00:14:58,461 and not argue and not be upset. 395 00:14:58,463 --> 00:15:00,597 If you think it's best to not speak, 396 00:15:00,599 --> 00:15:02,632 let's not speak. 397 00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:06,635 Probably it's best not to speak. 398 00:15:19,482 --> 00:15:23,518 ¶ 399 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:25,386 Can't wait to see everyone proper happy. 400 00:15:25,388 --> 00:15:27,688 Can't wait to get back. Obviously, see my girlfriend. 401 00:15:27,690 --> 00:15:30,724 When you go back in the house, just be calm, right? 402 00:15:30,726 --> 00:15:33,059 Any situation, just take a step back 403 00:15:33,061 --> 00:15:34,460 and think about what you're doing. 404 00:15:34,462 --> 00:15:37,129 Givin' me a little bit of a lecture, um, 405 00:15:37,131 --> 00:15:40,098 just sort of, be careful, look after yourself, 406 00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:40,698 as mothers do. 407 00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:41,765 Just a proper, caring mother. 408 00:15:41,767 --> 00:15:43,166 I do, generally, anyway. 409 00:15:43,168 --> 00:15:43,699 I know you do. 410 00:15:43,701 --> 00:15:44,833 I'm just telling you to do it. 411 00:15:44,835 --> 00:15:46,201 (laughs) All right. 412 00:15:46,203 --> 00:15:47,368 ...with me. 413 00:15:47,370 --> 00:15:48,569 Right. Okay? 414 00:15:48,571 --> 00:15:50,370 All right, see you later. 415 00:15:50,372 --> 00:15:56,042 ¶ 416 00:16:01,548 --> 00:16:03,615 all: Hi! 417 00:16:03,617 --> 00:16:05,216 Ricci looks unreal. 418 00:16:05,218 --> 00:16:07,518 He looks so good. He's well-rested. 419 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:09,253 He'd been hammering the gym. 420 00:16:09,255 --> 00:16:10,254 The kid looks amazing. 421 00:16:10,256 --> 00:16:11,221 How is everybody? All right? 422 00:16:11,223 --> 00:16:13,189 I could not be happier to see my girlfriend. 423 00:16:13,191 --> 00:16:17,026 Missed her so much. Really happy to see her. 424 00:16:17,028 --> 00:16:18,127 If I've got to watch him 425 00:16:18,129 --> 00:16:19,728 neck on with Vicky once more, 426 00:16:19,730 --> 00:16:22,497 I'm gonna be sick in my mouth. 427 00:16:23,332 --> 00:16:24,565 He's a sound lad, but once he has a drink, 428 00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:26,733 he does everyone's tits in, to be honest. 429 00:16:26,735 --> 00:16:28,234 I'm just hoping this time around, 430 00:16:28,236 --> 00:16:29,468 he's not gonna get as pissed, 431 00:16:29,470 --> 00:16:32,437 and he's not gonna get so angry and in your face. 432 00:16:32,439 --> 00:16:33,404 Me and you, though. 433 00:16:33,406 --> 00:16:34,805 It's over, you know what I mean? 434 00:16:34,807 --> 00:16:36,206 Oh, yeah. It's gone. 435 00:16:36,208 --> 00:16:38,041 Brother of the age, you know what I mean? 436 00:16:38,043 --> 00:16:39,409 Decide now, too, to help me make it. 437 00:16:39,411 --> 00:16:41,077 Wouldn't have your stuff on it. 438 00:16:41,079 --> 00:16:41,510 So daft. 439 00:16:41,512 --> 00:16:42,577 It was like nothing had happened. 440 00:16:42,579 --> 00:16:45,179 It was literally, it just went straight back to normal. 441 00:16:45,181 --> 00:16:46,180 And I knew that would happen. 442 00:16:46,182 --> 00:16:47,214 He's always been there for me. 443 00:16:47,216 --> 00:16:48,215 I've always been there for him. 444 00:16:48,217 --> 00:16:50,317 There's no change between us whatsoever. 445 00:16:50,319 --> 00:16:51,384 If anything, we're stronger. 446 00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:55,254 We're just brothers, and we'll be brothers for life. 447 00:16:55,256 --> 00:16:56,822 ¶ 448 00:16:56,824 --> 00:16:58,223 Have you seen him for the night? 449 00:16:58,225 --> 00:16:59,791 He's nervous. Yeah. 450 00:16:59,793 --> 00:17:01,659 How nervous, but exciting. 451 00:17:01,661 --> 00:17:03,594 I'm scared what a recluse I am. 452 00:17:03,596 --> 00:17:06,363 I forgot what I say. 453 00:17:06,365 --> 00:17:07,797 What were you saying? Nothing. 454 00:17:07,799 --> 00:17:10,733 So tonight, me and Sophie 455 00:17:10,735 --> 00:17:13,102 are going to do stand-up comedy. 456 00:17:13,104 --> 00:17:15,504 I think if it all goes tits up... 457 00:17:15,506 --> 00:17:16,638 Pull my own tit out? 458 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:17,705 Yeah, that's right. 459 00:17:17,707 --> 00:17:19,440 Nudity is always funny. 460 00:17:19,442 --> 00:17:21,175 (farts) Or farts. 461 00:17:21,177 --> 00:17:22,709 (laughter) 462 00:17:22,711 --> 00:17:24,644 I am so scared, 463 00:17:24,646 --> 00:17:29,515 a bit of poo actually just stained my knickers. 464 00:17:29,517 --> 00:17:31,517 (laughing) 465 00:17:31,519 --> 00:17:35,654 ¶ 466 00:17:35,656 --> 00:17:37,555 This is definitely kind of 467 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:40,224 not anything like I was expecting. 468 00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:42,626 They don't feel like the most friendly crowd, 469 00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:43,760 to say the very least. 470 00:17:43,762 --> 00:17:45,795 I've got a funny feeling this could all go tits up. 471 00:17:45,797 --> 00:17:49,265 Oh, I'm scared, Sophie. 472 00:17:49,267 --> 00:17:49,865 I'm worried. 473 00:17:49,867 --> 00:17:51,600 I'm worried, and I'm nervous 474 00:17:51,602 --> 00:17:56,404 that people are gonna fling stuff at us. 475 00:17:56,406 --> 00:17:57,638 Rotten fruit. 476 00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:59,840 Are you ready for the next act? 477 00:17:59,842 --> 00:18:02,175 Here's Sophie and Charlotte! 478 00:18:02,177 --> 00:18:04,443 As I look out to the crowd, 479 00:18:04,445 --> 00:18:05,610 I can't see anyone. 480 00:18:05,612 --> 00:18:09,447 All I can see is the stage, Sophie, 481 00:18:09,449 --> 00:18:11,515 and the microphone. 482 00:18:11,517 --> 00:18:13,016 Hi, everyone. 483 00:18:13,018 --> 00:18:14,450 (cheering) 484 00:18:14,452 --> 00:18:16,185 Lovely night tonight, isn't it? 485 00:18:16,187 --> 00:18:17,753 I'm not sure how this audience 486 00:18:17,755 --> 00:18:22,057 is gonna react to their particular style of humor. 487 00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:23,825 On a serious note... 488 00:18:23,827 --> 00:18:25,193 Yeah, I'll tell you what-- 489 00:18:25,195 --> 00:18:28,529 I'm absolutely shitting myself right now. 490 00:18:28,531 --> 00:18:30,130 We do really look hot, do we? 491 00:18:30,132 --> 00:18:32,632 (laughter) There was one time 492 00:18:32,634 --> 00:18:35,701 when we went to the forest, 493 00:18:35,703 --> 00:18:37,102 and we went on a bike-- 494 00:18:37,104 --> 00:18:38,336 and we went on a bike ride. 495 00:18:38,338 --> 00:18:40,671 Oh, the bike ride was so good. 496 00:18:40,673 --> 00:18:43,674 You can't remember the bike ride. 497 00:18:44,676 --> 00:18:46,443 (laughter) 498 00:18:46,445 --> 00:18:50,113 That was the end of the joke! 499 00:18:51,281 --> 00:18:52,614 (laughter) 500 00:18:52,616 --> 00:18:54,749 We've got the audience where we want them, 501 00:18:54,751 --> 00:18:57,752 and they're eating out of the palm of our hands. 502 00:18:57,754 --> 00:19:00,955 I feel like I'm feeding a pony, 503 00:19:00,957 --> 00:19:02,056 and then... 504 00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:05,259 it all starts to go terribly wrong. 505 00:19:05,261 --> 00:19:07,261 I've got a friend called Charlie, 506 00:19:07,263 --> 00:19:10,464 and she's a compulsive liar! 507 00:19:11,699 --> 00:19:12,999 (laughter) 508 00:19:13,001 --> 00:19:14,266 Vicky, help us. 509 00:19:14,268 --> 00:19:16,368 Sophie and Charlotte's comedy is... 510 00:19:16,370 --> 00:19:17,268 it's a bit silly. 511 00:19:17,270 --> 00:19:21,105 So, hydrocolonic irrigation. 512 00:19:21,107 --> 00:19:22,372 And this fart! 513 00:19:22,374 --> 00:19:24,107 Not that funny. 514 00:19:24,109 --> 00:19:25,975 Vicky, laugh. 515 00:19:25,977 --> 00:19:27,009 For fuck's sake. 516 00:19:27,011 --> 00:19:28,777 It's not going down well whatsoever. 517 00:19:28,779 --> 00:19:30,645 I'm gonna pretend I don't even know them. 518 00:19:30,647 --> 00:19:34,515 So just as everything went tits up, 519 00:19:34,517 --> 00:19:35,449 we got the trout out. 520 00:19:35,451 --> 00:19:39,319 There's something fishy going on around here. 521 00:19:39,321 --> 00:19:42,355 Oof! (laughter) 522 00:19:42,357 --> 00:19:46,726 The ear smells of fish. 523 00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:47,793 I think that was my highlight, 524 00:19:47,795 --> 00:19:48,827 actually, the fish slap. 525 00:19:48,829 --> 00:19:50,562 That's all, guys. Thank you! 526 00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:52,730 (cheering) Yeah! 527 00:19:52,732 --> 00:19:53,797 What the fuck? 528 00:19:53,799 --> 00:19:55,598 Everything just went so well. 529 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,367 I've got a natural high. I'm buzzing. 530 00:19:58,369 --> 00:19:59,735 That kind of high like when you see 531 00:19:59,737 --> 00:20:02,471 when the horse gives birth to the foal, 532 00:20:02,473 --> 00:20:04,306 and it drops out, and it can't stand. 533 00:20:04,308 --> 00:20:07,575 And it's so natural, and you're so high off life. 534 00:20:07,577 --> 00:20:12,413 ¶ 535 00:20:12,415 --> 00:20:15,115 Just did a bit of a wee. 536 00:20:15,117 --> 00:20:15,682 (laughter) 537 00:20:15,684 --> 00:20:17,483 Charlotte, go pee, all right? 538 00:20:17,485 --> 00:20:18,283 You saw me naked. 539 00:20:18,285 --> 00:20:20,285 Charlotte comes back from the comedy club. 540 00:20:20,287 --> 00:20:22,420 Becca's there. So me and Jay, 541 00:20:22,422 --> 00:20:23,187 being lads, like, 542 00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:25,455 "Right, you two, in the hot tub, now." 543 00:20:25,457 --> 00:20:27,523 Squirted all out. (laughter) 544 00:20:27,525 --> 00:20:28,824 So, now that I'm settling in, 545 00:20:28,826 --> 00:20:32,027 I think it's about time that I show the guys that 546 00:20:32,029 --> 00:20:33,461 I've got a party trick. 547 00:20:33,463 --> 00:20:34,628 (farting noise) 548 00:20:34,630 --> 00:20:35,562 (laughter) 549 00:20:35,564 --> 00:20:38,731 She can actually suck the air 550 00:20:38,733 --> 00:20:41,567 up in her vagina, 551 00:20:41,569 --> 00:20:43,602 and blow it back out like a fart. 552 00:20:43,604 --> 00:20:44,536 (farting noise) 553 00:20:44,538 --> 00:20:45,637 Like a blowhole on a whale. 554 00:20:45,639 --> 00:20:46,638 Like, sucking in the water 555 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:47,772 and blowing it back out again. 556 00:20:47,774 --> 00:20:50,741 It sounds like a baby crocodile. 557 00:20:50,743 --> 00:20:53,477 (farting noise) 558 00:20:53,479 --> 00:20:54,244 (farting noise) 559 00:20:54,246 --> 00:20:56,746 Fanny farts, surprisingly sexy. 560 00:20:56,748 --> 00:20:58,748 (farting noise) (laughter) 561 00:20:58,750 --> 00:21:01,183 She was literally fascinating. 562 00:21:01,185 --> 00:21:02,050 He was like, 563 00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:03,351 "Do that again." Do it again. 564 00:21:03,353 --> 00:21:05,486 I think it's weirdly turned him on. 565 00:21:05,488 --> 00:21:06,587 (farting noise) (laughter) 566 00:21:06,589 --> 00:21:09,056 And he's thinking to himself, 567 00:21:09,058 --> 00:21:12,626 "I want her to fanny fart all over my cock." 568 00:21:12,628 --> 00:21:14,260 all: One more! 569 00:21:14,262 --> 00:21:15,194 Hold on for it. In. 570 00:21:15,196 --> 00:21:16,228 (farting noise) (laughter) 571 00:21:16,230 --> 00:21:18,496 I've never seen nothing like this before, 572 00:21:18,498 --> 00:21:20,197 and she can do it on cue. 573 00:21:20,199 --> 00:21:23,166 (farting noise) (laughter) 574 00:21:23,168 --> 00:21:28,404 ¶ 575 00:21:30,407 --> 00:21:32,174 Slow down, pet. 576 00:21:35,478 --> 00:21:36,678 Before I know it, I'm gonna be 577 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:38,112 fucking six months' pregnant and fucking 578 00:21:38,114 --> 00:21:40,614 halfway down the aisle. No thanks, pet. 579 00:21:40,616 --> 00:21:42,949 I'm fine as I am. 580 00:21:43,617 --> 00:21:46,218 I was really talking to Vicky, but next thing 581 00:21:46,220 --> 00:21:49,120 she's leading me out to the fuck hut, get in. 582 00:21:49,122 --> 00:21:51,355 Eeh, nauseous. 583 00:21:51,357 --> 00:21:56,259 ¶ 584 00:21:56,261 --> 00:21:59,328 I'm not some sort of frigid, crazy nun, right? 585 00:21:59,330 --> 00:22:01,830 I do have sex, but only when I know 586 00:22:01,832 --> 00:22:05,667 that the person is only having sex with me, 587 00:22:05,669 --> 00:22:08,036 and they care about me. 588 00:22:08,038 --> 00:22:09,670 (groaning) 589 00:22:11,372 --> 00:22:13,706 Vicky having sex. It's like-- doesn't-- 590 00:22:13,708 --> 00:22:15,774 doesn't seem right. 591 00:22:15,776 --> 00:22:17,142 Obviously, I can hear them banging. 592 00:22:17,144 --> 00:22:19,210 The shed is like swaying a little bit, 593 00:22:19,212 --> 00:22:20,744 so I thought I'd just help it a little bit. 594 00:22:20,746 --> 00:22:22,378 And so, I'm pushing it... 595 00:22:22,380 --> 00:22:25,481 Jesus Christ, it can't be this good. 596 00:22:26,549 --> 00:22:27,515 The earth's not moving. 597 00:22:27,517 --> 00:22:30,284 It's got to be them idiots outside. 598 00:22:30,286 --> 00:22:33,687 ¶ 599 00:22:33,689 --> 00:22:35,655 Knowing that people not only knew 600 00:22:35,657 --> 00:22:37,256 I was having sex, but were 601 00:22:37,258 --> 00:22:38,290 having a big joke out of it 602 00:22:38,292 --> 00:22:41,092 was all just a bit too much for me to take. 603 00:22:41,094 --> 00:22:44,261 The moment lost its magic. 604 00:22:53,638 --> 00:22:55,405 I had to stop, and I had to walk away, 605 00:22:55,407 --> 00:22:56,773 and I had to get away from everyone. 606 00:22:56,775 --> 00:23:00,409 I feel it was a bit hurtful. 607 00:23:00,411 --> 00:23:02,578 Vicky just got up and stormed out. 608 00:23:02,580 --> 00:23:05,080 I think I kind of cock blocked Ricci on that one. 609 00:23:06,515 --> 00:23:09,450 Ricci is that into Vicky now that all he does 610 00:23:09,452 --> 00:23:12,386 is fucking follow her around everywhere. 611 00:23:12,388 --> 00:23:14,054 It's fuckin' pathetic. 612 00:23:14,056 --> 00:23:15,722 This water! 613 00:23:15,724 --> 00:23:18,624 He's in for a shocker. 614 00:23:20,159 --> 00:23:23,628 I think Gary's forgotten that we're not speaking. 615 00:23:31,536 --> 00:23:32,802 Then we just end up talking 616 00:23:32,804 --> 00:23:34,570 and we're getting along so well, 617 00:23:34,572 --> 00:23:36,305 and I'm feeling a little bit horny. 618 00:23:36,307 --> 00:23:37,773 And I really want to have sex with him, 619 00:23:37,775 --> 00:23:41,109 and I fancy him a little bit, too. 620 00:23:41,111 --> 00:23:41,776 This is a disaster. 621 00:23:41,778 --> 00:23:44,478 In the hot tub, Charlotte touched my leg 622 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:46,413 and come-- hold my hand under the water. 623 00:23:46,415 --> 00:23:48,381 I knew straight away then, I was like, 624 00:23:48,383 --> 00:23:51,317 you are getting buggered tonight, I was like, 625 00:23:51,319 --> 00:23:52,184 here we go again. 626 00:23:52,186 --> 00:23:53,251 It feels right at the time. 627 00:23:53,253 --> 00:23:56,387 I just want a little pet. 628 00:23:58,656 --> 00:24:02,058 So, Rebecca's fanny farts turn us on so much, 629 00:24:02,060 --> 00:24:03,793 I decide to have a neck on with her. 630 00:24:03,795 --> 00:24:06,796 'Cause during the day, we're just like fucking mates. 631 00:24:06,798 --> 00:24:08,397 It's as soon as he's had a drink, 632 00:24:08,399 --> 00:24:10,599 when his love goggles come out and he's like, 633 00:24:10,601 --> 00:24:11,466 "Oh, yeah, Becca." 634 00:24:11,468 --> 00:24:13,201 Like, "Let's kiss," and all this. 635 00:24:13,203 --> 00:24:15,069 We're like magnets. 636 00:24:15,071 --> 00:24:15,736 What? 637 00:24:15,738 --> 00:24:16,670 Whatever floats his boat. 638 00:24:16,672 --> 00:24:19,272 If he wants to kiss, I'm here for him. 639 00:24:20,374 --> 00:24:22,608 ¶ 640 00:24:22,610 --> 00:24:27,846 Do you know what-- do you know-- 641 00:24:27,848 --> 00:24:29,747 Yeah? 642 00:24:30,749 --> 00:24:33,550 So Gary's just turned around and said this, 643 00:24:33,552 --> 00:24:35,785 straight after the love-making, 644 00:24:35,787 --> 00:24:40,289 and... I'm a little bit pissed off. 645 00:24:43,293 --> 00:24:45,160 It's not really the right time 646 00:24:45,162 --> 00:24:47,562 to bring something like that up. 647 00:24:55,604 --> 00:24:56,470 Gary! 648 00:24:56,472 --> 00:24:57,504 Uh-huh. (sighs) 649 00:24:57,506 --> 00:24:59,606 I'll always say this-- I'll never go as far 650 00:24:59,608 --> 00:25:01,207 as seeing her, boyfriend, girlfriend, 651 00:25:01,209 --> 00:25:02,741 but I'll always have feelings for her. 652 00:25:02,743 --> 00:25:04,008 But I love being a lad 653 00:25:04,010 --> 00:25:05,442 and going out with the boys too much. 654 00:25:05,444 --> 00:25:06,476 That's the harsh reality of it. 655 00:25:06,478 --> 00:25:09,011 I just can't commit to her. 656 00:25:09,013 --> 00:25:10,145 But she would make someone 657 00:25:10,147 --> 00:25:12,647 the most amazing girlfriend ever. 658 00:25:12,649 --> 00:25:18,252 ¶ 659 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:22,121 (doorbell ringing) 660 00:25:25,692 --> 00:25:26,391 both: Hi! 661 00:25:26,393 --> 00:25:28,826 I'm standing there naked, in a sheet, 662 00:25:28,828 --> 00:25:30,627 and it's Sophie's dad. 663 00:25:30,629 --> 00:25:31,594 Shit! 664 00:25:31,596 --> 00:25:32,628 I need to get some clothes on. 665 00:25:32,630 --> 00:25:35,497 (Rebecca) Ooh, Sophie's dad is a little D.I.L.F. 666 00:25:35,499 --> 00:25:38,766 That is, a dad I'd like to fuck. 667 00:25:38,768 --> 00:25:39,700 He's gorgeous. 668 00:25:39,702 --> 00:25:41,468 Dad! Hello, my darling. 669 00:25:41,470 --> 00:25:42,202 How are you? 670 00:25:42,204 --> 00:25:43,336 I'm all right. How is things? 671 00:25:43,338 --> 00:25:44,670 Are you okay? Okay. 672 00:25:44,672 --> 00:25:47,239 He's so sexy. He's like Al Pacino. 673 00:25:47,241 --> 00:25:49,774 Tonight is opening night, 674 00:25:49,776 --> 00:25:50,875 so I'd like to invite yous all. 675 00:25:50,877 --> 00:25:52,142 He's came and announced that 676 00:25:52,144 --> 00:25:54,177 he's opening his new restaurant today. 677 00:25:54,179 --> 00:25:55,144 I love him. 678 00:25:55,146 --> 00:25:57,412 And, please, invite your families, 679 00:25:57,414 --> 00:26:01,182 your parents as well to come with you, okay? 680 00:26:01,184 --> 00:26:03,484 I'm feeling really, really happy today. 681 00:26:03,486 --> 00:26:05,719 I'm gonna see my dad at the restaurant, 682 00:26:05,721 --> 00:26:07,287 my mum's gonna be there. 683 00:26:07,289 --> 00:26:09,122 It's gonna be really, really nice 684 00:26:09,124 --> 00:26:10,389 just to spend time with my family. 685 00:26:10,391 --> 00:26:14,092 Everyone's invited for meal, and to get pissed. 686 00:26:14,094 --> 00:26:15,159 I can't wait to get there 687 00:26:15,161 --> 00:26:18,395 and get some decent food for once. 688 00:26:18,397 --> 00:26:23,600 ¶ 689 00:26:23,602 --> 00:26:26,169 Geordie girls, all of use need 690 00:26:26,171 --> 00:26:29,438 to have the nails done. 691 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:30,138 You can't go out 692 00:26:30,140 --> 00:26:32,607 with stumpy, bitten little pig trotters. 693 00:26:32,609 --> 00:26:35,276 Without sounding too, uh, soppy-like, 694 00:26:35,278 --> 00:26:37,444 I'm really happy that you're doing this. 695 00:26:37,446 --> 00:26:40,146 I bet Ricci is happy, too. 696 00:26:40,148 --> 00:26:41,247 Ricci's on cloud nine. 697 00:26:41,249 --> 00:26:46,051 I thought Vicky didn't bang. 698 00:26:46,053 --> 00:26:46,684 She does now! 699 00:26:46,686 --> 00:26:48,819 She bangs left, right, and center. 700 00:26:48,821 --> 00:26:52,789 What was all the sex and stuff like? 701 00:26:52,791 --> 00:26:53,623 Like sex. 702 00:26:53,625 --> 00:26:55,725 Scale of one to ten? 703 00:26:55,727 --> 00:26:57,460 So, five's average. 704 00:26:57,462 --> 00:26:58,227 Oh, it was a five? 705 00:26:58,229 --> 00:26:59,461 No, I'm just working out the scale. 706 00:26:59,463 --> 00:27:04,365 I'm gonna say it was steady 8.5. 707 00:27:05,233 --> 00:27:07,234 Mine was definitely a ten. 708 00:27:07,236 --> 00:27:09,069 Oh, fuck off, man. 709 00:27:09,071 --> 00:27:09,669 It's okay. 710 00:27:09,671 --> 00:27:10,770 He got us with an 8.5. 711 00:27:10,772 --> 00:27:12,138 You don't have to feel bad about that. 712 00:27:12,140 --> 00:27:15,274 Charlotte's never been the brightest star in the sky, 713 00:27:15,276 --> 00:27:16,341 like, so I'm assuming maybe 714 00:27:16,343 --> 00:27:17,809 she didn't get her G.C.S.E. in maths, 715 00:27:17,811 --> 00:27:19,610 and she thinks this scale is out of 100. 716 00:27:19,612 --> 00:27:21,712 Yeah-- but, yeah, 8.5 is really good. 717 00:27:21,714 --> 00:27:25,982 Oh, Charlotte, why do you really think it was so bad. 718 00:27:28,185 --> 00:27:30,619 (telephone ringing) 719 00:27:31,287 --> 00:27:31,786 Hello? 720 00:27:31,788 --> 00:27:33,087 Hi, good morning, Gaz. Oh, yeah? 721 00:27:33,089 --> 00:27:36,457 I've got a spray tanning job for you and Ricci... 722 00:27:36,459 --> 00:27:38,292 Yeah? Today at 3:00 P.M. 723 00:27:38,294 --> 00:27:39,426 (door closing) 724 00:27:39,428 --> 00:27:42,295 ¶ 725 00:27:42,297 --> 00:27:43,462 Me and Ricci are on the way 726 00:27:43,464 --> 00:27:44,296 to do this spray tan, 727 00:27:44,298 --> 00:27:46,598 but I pull up outside, there's strippers. 728 00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:47,732 Pussy Galore. (laughter) 729 00:27:47,734 --> 00:27:51,068 If we're spray tanning strippers as a job, 730 00:27:51,070 --> 00:27:52,202 that's one fuckin' good job. 731 00:27:52,204 --> 00:27:54,804 And I'm actually excited to get in there and do it. 732 00:27:54,806 --> 00:27:56,972 I'm a bit worried, 'cause I know Vick, 733 00:27:56,974 --> 00:27:57,739 she's gonna kick it off. 734 00:27:57,741 --> 00:27:59,173 I think Gaz is a bit more excited than me. 735 00:27:59,175 --> 00:28:00,140 Do you proper like her? 736 00:28:00,142 --> 00:28:01,207 Dude, yeah, I really like her. 737 00:28:01,209 --> 00:28:04,310 And she's obvi-- I think she's in love with me like. 738 00:28:04,312 --> 00:28:04,743 Love? 739 00:28:04,745 --> 00:28:07,112 What are you calling fuckin' love? 740 00:28:07,114 --> 00:28:09,447 Me and Gaz, having a little man chat. 741 00:28:09,449 --> 00:28:11,549 Um, discussion of Vicky. 742 00:28:11,551 --> 00:28:13,617 I think he might think I'm a bit of a soppy twat, 743 00:28:13,619 --> 00:28:15,418 but I really couldn't care less. 744 00:28:15,420 --> 00:28:16,318 I really care for her. 745 00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:17,452 Well, the speed you're going, 746 00:28:17,454 --> 00:28:19,020 you'll be engaged next week. 747 00:28:19,022 --> 00:28:19,653 (laughing) 748 00:28:19,655 --> 00:28:20,687 No, we'll see how it goes. 749 00:28:20,689 --> 00:28:22,822 (laughing) You didn't say "no"! 750 00:28:22,824 --> 00:28:24,256 "I'll see how it goes ." 751 00:28:24,258 --> 00:28:26,324 "We'll see how it goes." 752 00:28:26,326 --> 00:28:27,591 He's just met her? 753 00:28:27,593 --> 00:28:30,727 Eh? I just generally don't fuckin' get it. 754 00:28:30,729 --> 00:28:32,261 Ricci's in for costumes. 755 00:28:32,263 --> 00:28:34,329 There you go. A nappy for you. 756 00:28:34,331 --> 00:28:35,263 A nappy for you, as well. 757 00:28:35,265 --> 00:28:36,430 Equipment here. That's going on. 758 00:28:36,432 --> 00:28:39,666 I'll let you girls put the poxy under. 759 00:28:42,136 --> 00:28:44,637 I'm a bit worried about what Vicky is thinking. 760 00:28:44,639 --> 00:28:46,772 Obviously, I'm gonna be looking at naked girls, 761 00:28:46,774 --> 00:28:48,707 so, I'll try not to look at them. 762 00:28:48,709 --> 00:28:51,109 Be like that. Not looking. 763 00:28:55,380 --> 00:28:57,381 Here we are, spray tanning strippers, 764 00:28:57,383 --> 00:28:58,382 straight away I thought, 765 00:28:58,384 --> 00:29:01,118 that fit, tall one is mine. 766 00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:03,220 Bend over. 767 00:29:03,222 --> 00:29:04,955 Nice ass, nice tits. 768 00:29:04,957 --> 00:29:06,323 To be fair, I've got a fuckin' semi on. 769 00:29:06,325 --> 00:29:08,992 This is the best day's work ever. 770 00:29:11,395 --> 00:29:13,229 Shit, Ricci. Try to be good. 771 00:29:13,231 --> 00:29:16,398 Think professional. You've got a girlfriend. 772 00:29:20,536 --> 00:29:23,271 (laughter) 773 00:29:23,273 --> 00:29:26,173 They're the best ones we've done like, you know. 774 00:29:26,175 --> 00:29:26,706 No joking. 775 00:29:26,708 --> 00:29:28,274 How many have you done? 776 00:29:28,276 --> 00:29:29,275 Um, two. 777 00:29:29,277 --> 00:29:30,676 (laughter) 778 00:29:30,678 --> 00:29:31,777 Decent tans in here. Yeah? 779 00:29:31,779 --> 00:29:32,711 My type of fantasies. 780 00:29:32,713 --> 00:29:35,413 Don't know how that's gonna go down with Vicks, 781 00:29:35,415 --> 00:29:36,414 but we'll speak about it. 782 00:29:36,416 --> 00:29:38,382 That's-- they saw us. Real pile-up. 783 00:29:38,384 --> 00:29:39,449 It will be a big decision to see 784 00:29:39,451 --> 00:29:40,583 if he actually comes to strippers, 785 00:29:40,585 --> 00:29:42,952 or he doesn't. 'Cause if it was me, 786 00:29:42,954 --> 00:29:43,652 that early relationship, 787 00:29:43,654 --> 00:29:44,719 you've got to put your foot down, 788 00:29:44,721 --> 00:29:46,087 say, "Look, I'm going to have a few drinks 789 00:29:46,089 --> 00:29:48,522 with the boys. Like, chill out." 790 00:29:48,524 --> 00:29:54,928 ¶ 791 00:29:56,463 --> 00:29:57,696 We're taking Vicky for a meal. 792 00:29:57,698 --> 00:30:00,198 I think she'll really like this. 793 00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:01,432 But I think I'll drop in 794 00:30:01,434 --> 00:30:03,600 going to the strip club with the lads. 795 00:30:03,602 --> 00:30:05,268 So, we'll see how it goes. 796 00:30:05,270 --> 00:30:07,236 ¶ 797 00:30:07,238 --> 00:30:08,704 Just an absolutely beautiful 798 00:30:08,706 --> 00:30:09,571 little restaurant. 799 00:30:09,573 --> 00:30:12,174 It's so romantic, and so sweet. 800 00:30:12,176 --> 00:30:13,275 I'm just feeling like 801 00:30:13,277 --> 00:30:15,644 really, really happy to be here. 802 00:30:26,522 --> 00:30:29,957 ¶ 803 00:30:29,959 --> 00:30:32,225 We go to Sophie's dad's restaurant. 804 00:30:32,227 --> 00:30:33,659 It's his new opening. 805 00:30:33,661 --> 00:30:35,360 It should be a really good night. 806 00:30:35,362 --> 00:30:37,862 We're gonna get mortal. 807 00:30:37,864 --> 00:30:39,363 Thank you guys for coming. 808 00:30:39,365 --> 00:30:40,297 All right. 809 00:30:40,299 --> 00:30:44,167 (all talking) 810 00:30:47,237 --> 00:30:50,539 Gary's dad is here? 811 00:30:50,541 --> 00:30:51,373 Hi, Kevin! 812 00:30:51,375 --> 00:30:52,574 Oh, yeah? I'm Charlotte. 813 00:30:52,576 --> 00:30:54,309 Let's all get over them. Ah. 814 00:30:54,311 --> 00:30:57,779 Here I am. Just me and Gary's dad. 815 00:30:57,781 --> 00:30:59,380 Talking to each other and that. 816 00:30:59,382 --> 00:31:01,682 You and Gary are still speaking? 817 00:31:01,684 --> 00:31:05,285 Yeah, we're really good friends. 818 00:31:05,287 --> 00:31:06,653 We're getting on really well. 819 00:31:06,655 --> 00:31:07,854 I'm sure he's out with Jackie. 820 00:31:07,856 --> 00:31:10,323 They're both really lovely people. 821 00:31:10,325 --> 00:31:11,791 And I'm kind of thinking, 822 00:31:11,793 --> 00:31:14,627 I could handle these being my in-laws. 823 00:31:16,096 --> 00:31:16,662 Go on, Becca. 824 00:31:16,664 --> 00:31:18,063 Enough "friends with benefits." 825 00:31:18,065 --> 00:31:20,565 You don't say that to Kevin. 826 00:31:20,567 --> 00:31:23,401 My mum's here. James is here. 827 00:31:23,403 --> 00:31:24,535 My mum knows we've had sex. 828 00:31:24,537 --> 00:31:25,869 I'm gonna have to introduce them 829 00:31:25,871 --> 00:31:28,204 for the first time. This is gonna be 830 00:31:28,206 --> 00:31:30,873 the most awkward moment of my life. 831 00:31:30,875 --> 00:31:32,574 Heard a lot about you, actually. 832 00:31:32,576 --> 00:31:34,676 Really? All good, I hope. 833 00:31:34,678 --> 00:31:36,744 Well... could be. 834 00:31:36,746 --> 00:31:38,412 I'm thinking, "Fucking hell, 835 00:31:38,414 --> 00:31:39,746 you're actually all right." 836 00:31:39,748 --> 00:31:40,646 You know what they say, 837 00:31:40,648 --> 00:31:42,280 you've got to look at the mother, haven't you? 838 00:31:42,282 --> 00:31:43,080 Hopefully, fuckin', 839 00:31:43,082 --> 00:31:46,516 Holly might blossom in a few years. 840 00:31:47,251 --> 00:31:48,284 That's why I was quiet there. 841 00:31:48,286 --> 00:31:50,252 I didn't know what I was seeing. 842 00:32:19,215 --> 00:32:21,783 Don't take me out for a nice meal, 843 00:32:21,785 --> 00:32:23,351 get all dressed up, 844 00:32:23,353 --> 00:32:25,152 pour it on fucking thick, 845 00:32:25,154 --> 00:32:26,419 and then tell us what you really want 846 00:32:26,421 --> 00:32:27,453 to be doing is watching 847 00:32:27,455 --> 00:32:29,922 some half-naked fucking strippers 848 00:32:29,924 --> 00:32:32,591 gyrate around while I sit there 849 00:32:32,593 --> 00:32:33,858 worrying about it. 850 00:32:33,860 --> 00:32:36,093 You can go and do exactly what you want. 851 00:32:36,095 --> 00:32:37,260 But don't expect me to be sitting 852 00:32:37,262 --> 00:32:38,527 at home waiting a fool. 853 00:32:38,529 --> 00:32:39,261 I didn't expect. 854 00:32:39,263 --> 00:32:41,796 Good. Sleep in your own fucking bed, then. 855 00:32:41,798 --> 00:32:43,597 I am fucking raging. 856 00:32:43,599 --> 00:32:45,732 I'm nobody's mug. Nobody's. 857 00:32:45,734 --> 00:32:47,333 If you want me, be with me. 858 00:32:47,335 --> 00:32:49,068 Like, it's never gonna impress us. 859 00:32:49,070 --> 00:32:51,670 It's never gonna endear you to me. 860 00:32:51,672 --> 00:32:52,637 Like, I'm never gonna wake up 861 00:32:52,639 --> 00:32:54,171 the morning after you do something like that 862 00:32:54,173 --> 00:32:55,572 and feel like I want to be with. 863 00:32:55,574 --> 00:32:58,241 It shows how much she can handle 864 00:32:58,243 --> 00:33:01,544 being mature about a relationship. 865 00:33:01,546 --> 00:33:03,112 And she can't just talk about something 866 00:33:03,114 --> 00:33:04,446 instead of going off on one. 867 00:33:04,448 --> 00:33:07,282 Talk about it. Stop being a dick. 868 00:33:07,284 --> 00:33:08,750 ¶ 869 00:33:08,752 --> 00:33:12,253 Oh, where's this food? 870 00:33:12,454 --> 00:33:16,223 This is the first time I've seen Vicky like this. 871 00:33:16,225 --> 00:33:19,659 ¶ 872 00:33:19,661 --> 00:33:21,227 Jay has warned me about it. 873 00:33:21,229 --> 00:33:22,528 Gaz has warned me about it. 874 00:33:22,530 --> 00:33:25,097 It puts everything in perspective. 875 00:33:25,099 --> 00:33:27,432 You're a scumbag. 876 00:33:27,434 --> 00:33:29,100 Stroke, single lad. 877 00:33:29,102 --> 00:33:31,802 As far as I'm concerned... 878 00:33:31,804 --> 00:33:33,603 you're completely and utterly 879 00:33:33,605 --> 00:33:35,304 fucking replaceable. 880 00:33:35,306 --> 00:33:41,043 ¶ 881 00:33:41,577 --> 00:33:42,710 So, we're all in the restaurant, 882 00:33:42,712 --> 00:33:45,379 and everyone is having a good time. 883 00:33:45,381 --> 00:33:46,880 (cheering) 884 00:33:46,882 --> 00:33:48,381 And Vicky and Ricci come. 885 00:33:48,383 --> 00:33:50,349 It's nice to meet you. 886 00:33:50,351 --> 00:33:52,651 And the look on Vicky's face... 887 00:33:52,653 --> 00:33:54,052 doesn't look like she's happy. 888 00:33:54,054 --> 00:33:55,386 Yes, we can call the strippers 889 00:33:55,388 --> 00:33:56,587 being out with our lads. 890 00:33:56,589 --> 00:33:58,188 both: What? Eh? 891 00:33:58,190 --> 00:34:00,557 Oof! I wouldn't like to be Ricci. 892 00:34:00,559 --> 00:34:02,292 It's not right, is it? 893 00:34:02,294 --> 00:34:03,626 Like, you've only been together that long, 894 00:34:03,628 --> 00:34:04,793 and he's asking you if he can go 895 00:34:04,795 --> 00:34:05,860 to the strip club already? 896 00:34:05,862 --> 00:34:08,262 It's the honeymoon period, for God's sake. 897 00:34:08,264 --> 00:34:10,430 What type of a bloke on his fucking honeymoon 898 00:34:10,432 --> 00:34:13,366 goes and watches other half-naked fucking women? 899 00:34:13,368 --> 00:34:14,233 Bore off, will ya? 900 00:34:14,235 --> 00:34:16,435 He took us out for something nice to eat, 901 00:34:16,437 --> 00:34:18,336 to soften the blow of being like, 902 00:34:18,338 --> 00:34:20,304 "Can I go and watch other naked ladies 903 00:34:20,306 --> 00:34:22,572 dance in front of us while I ogle them?" 904 00:34:22,574 --> 00:34:24,440 Well, no, you can't, you stupid prick. 905 00:34:24,442 --> 00:34:26,308 Go fuck yourself, and you can have 906 00:34:26,310 --> 00:34:27,776 all the silly little slags you want. 907 00:34:27,778 --> 00:34:30,378 It's not got me. It's done. Done. 908 00:34:30,380 --> 00:34:32,980 To being fucking single, for God's sake. 909 00:34:32,982 --> 00:34:33,780 Oh, yeah! 910 00:34:33,782 --> 00:34:35,081 Vicky is single, and she's back 911 00:34:35,083 --> 00:34:36,882 to being one of the girls again. 912 00:34:36,884 --> 00:34:39,951 Thank fuck for that! 913 00:34:42,654 --> 00:34:45,188 You can't have a girl that tells you 914 00:34:45,190 --> 00:34:46,155 you can't do things. 915 00:34:46,157 --> 00:34:47,523 For me, if anyone said, 916 00:34:47,525 --> 00:34:50,125 "You are not going with the boys," 917 00:34:50,127 --> 00:34:52,227 I'd be like, "Bye." 918 00:34:55,130 --> 00:34:57,064 It's only been a couple of weeks, man. 919 00:34:57,066 --> 00:34:58,765 They're like a fuckin' married couple. 920 00:34:58,767 --> 00:35:00,967 What are you gonna do? 921 00:35:00,969 --> 00:35:02,468 Guys? 922 00:35:02,470 --> 00:35:04,503 Come. 923 00:35:04,505 --> 00:35:09,608 ¶ 924 00:35:15,214 --> 00:35:16,414 I'm just not in the mood, 925 00:35:16,416 --> 00:35:19,016 and I can't be arsed any more arguments. 926 00:35:19,018 --> 00:35:21,251 Even though I want to be out with the lads 927 00:35:21,253 --> 00:35:24,187 for a night out, I just can't be arsed 928 00:35:24,189 --> 00:35:26,556 with what's happened tonight. 929 00:35:26,558 --> 00:35:27,690 So, if Ricci's not coming, 930 00:35:27,692 --> 00:35:30,059 that leaves me, James, and Jay. 931 00:35:30,061 --> 00:35:31,260 Couldn't be more perfect. 932 00:35:31,262 --> 00:35:32,628 Let's hit the strippers. 933 00:35:32,630 --> 00:35:36,565 ¶ 934 00:35:36,567 --> 00:35:40,268 Fuckin', I can' wait to get some fanny in my face. 935 00:35:46,475 --> 00:35:48,042 I think Ricci did come in thinking, 936 00:35:48,044 --> 00:35:50,744 "I'm gonna give Gaz a run for his money. 937 00:35:50,746 --> 00:35:52,245 I'm a big player." 938 00:35:52,247 --> 00:35:52,712 Grow up. 939 00:35:52,714 --> 00:35:54,280 You're under the thumb, mate, 940 00:35:54,282 --> 00:35:55,814 and she is wearing the trousers. 941 00:35:55,816 --> 00:35:57,015 So we're in the strip club, 942 00:35:57,017 --> 00:35:58,316 having the time of our life, 943 00:35:58,318 --> 00:36:00,251 tits and fannies all over. 944 00:36:00,253 --> 00:36:06,490 ¶ 945 00:36:10,428 --> 00:36:12,195 I haven't had a bang in a while, 946 00:36:12,197 --> 00:36:14,130 and there's this blonde lass. 947 00:36:14,132 --> 00:36:16,699 All her clothes off, just gyrating, 948 00:36:16,701 --> 00:36:19,568 bending over and showing us everything she's got 949 00:36:19,570 --> 00:36:21,002 right in front of us. 950 00:36:21,004 --> 00:36:25,239 Obviously, it's the biggest tease you can possibly have. 951 00:36:25,241 --> 00:36:26,373 (James) Wish I was Ricci at home. 952 00:36:26,375 --> 00:36:28,742 (Jay) Not even thinking about Ricci at the minute. 953 00:36:28,744 --> 00:36:31,211 (laughter) 954 00:36:31,213 --> 00:36:34,581 ¶ 955 00:36:35,349 --> 00:36:38,451 ¶ 956 00:36:38,453 --> 00:36:42,421 (women shouting) 957 00:36:42,423 --> 00:36:46,525 all: Get bent, you're out! Get bent, you're out! 958 00:36:46,527 --> 00:36:48,059 At this point, I'm not sure whether Ricci's 959 00:36:48,061 --> 00:36:49,627 in the house or he's gone to the strippers. 960 00:36:49,629 --> 00:36:51,362 (muffled shouting) 961 00:36:51,364 --> 00:36:53,630 I couldn't give a fuck. 962 00:36:59,803 --> 00:37:02,671 I thought I'd go see if Vicky had calmed down. 963 00:37:02,673 --> 00:37:04,639 Big mistake. 964 00:37:07,142 --> 00:37:08,742 Exactly. We're fuckin' finished. 965 00:37:08,744 --> 00:37:09,709 Oh, we're finished, are we? 966 00:37:09,711 --> 00:37:12,278 She's obviously got trust issues. 967 00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:13,979 I'm not arsed. No. 968 00:37:13,981 --> 00:37:15,480 I love her to bits, 969 00:37:15,482 --> 00:37:16,447 but she needs to realize 970 00:37:16,449 --> 00:37:17,681 that I've only got eyes for her 971 00:37:17,683 --> 00:37:19,182 instead of other girls. 972 00:37:19,184 --> 00:37:21,918 I never kid. 973 00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:24,086 Fuckin' bitch! 974 00:37:26,956 --> 00:37:29,490 The boys have ruined a lovely evening. 975 00:37:29,492 --> 00:37:32,292 They expect to come back, bring girls, 976 00:37:32,294 --> 00:37:33,226 get in the hot tub. 977 00:37:33,228 --> 00:37:36,395 Sorry, lads-- sabotage. 978 00:37:36,397 --> 00:37:37,429 Sabotage. 979 00:37:37,431 --> 00:37:39,130 (Charlotte) Sabotage! 980 00:37:39,132 --> 00:37:40,564 If the boys think that 981 00:37:40,566 --> 00:37:42,532 they can bring strippers back, 982 00:37:42,534 --> 00:37:43,599 they can fuck right off. 983 00:37:43,601 --> 00:37:44,566 'Cause all they'll do 984 00:37:44,568 --> 00:37:46,100 is go straight in the hot tub. 985 00:37:46,102 --> 00:37:47,734 So we're just gonna have to smash it up. 986 00:37:47,736 --> 00:37:50,536 We're gonna have to totally trash it. 987 00:37:50,538 --> 00:37:52,437 (Sophie) But then we just go wild. 988 00:37:52,439 --> 00:37:54,572 We're causing mayhem. 989 00:37:54,574 --> 00:37:56,507 We've hauled some mud in it, 990 00:37:56,509 --> 00:37:58,075 We've got some pebbles. 991 00:37:58,077 --> 00:38:00,277 We've got a cheeky chair in there. 992 00:38:00,279 --> 00:38:00,710 Yay! 993 00:38:00,712 --> 00:38:04,146 We've even got the chocolate sauce 994 00:38:04,148 --> 00:38:06,581 and squirted it all the way around 995 00:38:06,583 --> 00:38:09,117 so it looks like poo. 996 00:38:09,119 --> 00:38:11,185 It's like one big shit mix. 997 00:38:11,187 --> 00:38:13,287 That looks quite a bit like shit, that do. 998 00:38:13,289 --> 00:38:15,255 I'll do, I'll go again. 999 00:38:15,257 --> 00:38:16,856 Second on our list is the fuck hut. 1000 00:38:16,858 --> 00:38:20,259 Take every single blanket and cushion, motherfuckers. 1001 00:38:20,261 --> 00:38:23,128 And the mattress, so there's nothing. 1002 00:38:23,130 --> 00:38:25,263 Any form of comfort whatsoever is taken 1003 00:38:25,265 --> 00:38:26,430 from the fuck hut, so they won't 1004 00:38:26,432 --> 00:38:28,331 be wanting to spend any time in there. 1005 00:38:28,333 --> 00:38:29,765 I've got pillows! 1006 00:38:29,767 --> 00:38:31,867 Get fucked, boys. 1007 00:38:31,869 --> 00:38:33,301 So we decide, let's just 1008 00:38:33,303 --> 00:38:35,369 take the mattress and hide it. 1009 00:38:35,371 --> 00:38:36,236 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 1010 00:38:36,238 --> 00:38:37,804 (shouting and laughing) 1011 00:38:37,806 --> 00:38:38,538 Come on! 1012 00:38:38,540 --> 00:38:40,439 Oh, for fuck's sake! 1013 00:38:40,441 --> 00:38:41,306 (women shouting) 1014 00:38:41,308 --> 00:38:42,507 What the fuck is that? 1015 00:38:42,509 --> 00:38:43,307 I'm fucking nervous. 1016 00:38:43,309 --> 00:38:45,809 Ew, I don't even know if I want to walk in here 1017 00:38:45,811 --> 00:38:47,110 when that's going on. 1018 00:38:47,112 --> 00:38:48,344 (women chanting) 1019 00:38:48,346 --> 00:38:50,079 In they walk... 1020 00:38:50,081 --> 00:38:52,114 with no girls. 1021 00:38:52,116 --> 00:38:52,647 Shit. 1022 00:38:52,649 --> 00:38:57,351 women: Keep on! Keep on! Keep on! Keep on! 1023 00:38:57,353 --> 00:38:59,386 We walk in, and all the lasses 1024 00:38:59,388 --> 00:39:01,121 up on the fucking kitchen benches, 1025 00:39:01,123 --> 00:39:03,456 running around like football hooligans. 1026 00:39:03,458 --> 00:39:04,657 women: Keep on! Keep on! 1027 00:39:04,659 --> 00:39:06,225 If I came back with some bird 1028 00:39:06,227 --> 00:39:08,293 and I walked in on that environment, 1029 00:39:08,295 --> 00:39:10,261 I would at least turn on the girl, 1030 00:39:10,263 --> 00:39:11,528 "Get yourself a taxi home." 1031 00:39:11,530 --> 00:39:12,428 It's embarrassing. 1032 00:39:12,430 --> 00:39:13,629 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1033 00:39:13,631 --> 00:39:14,730 What-- the women! 1034 00:39:14,732 --> 00:39:17,232 What the fuck? 1035 00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:20,634 Eh, the jealous (bleep). They turn... 1036 00:39:20,636 --> 00:39:22,268 ...with bringing birds back. 1037 00:39:22,270 --> 00:39:23,669 Really? And the magical hut. 1038 00:39:23,671 --> 00:39:24,636 And the magical-- 1039 00:39:24,638 --> 00:39:26,037 Yeah, have you seen it? 1040 00:39:26,039 --> 00:39:28,372 They put soda in it, sauce. 1041 00:39:28,374 --> 00:39:29,373 Look at it, man. 1042 00:39:29,375 --> 00:39:30,173 What the fuck? 1043 00:39:30,175 --> 00:39:32,441 How-- we can't fucking be seeing this place. 1044 00:39:32,443 --> 00:39:33,408 What the fuck? 1045 00:39:33,410 --> 00:39:34,375 What are they doing, eh? 1046 00:39:34,377 --> 00:39:36,377 To me, that's so disrespectful. 1047 00:39:36,379 --> 00:39:39,046 It shows how immature they are. 1048 00:39:39,048 --> 00:39:40,313 And it's pathetic. 1049 00:39:40,315 --> 00:39:41,714 I'm absolutely foaming. 1050 00:39:41,716 --> 00:39:43,182 Stop being idiots, right? 1051 00:39:43,184 --> 00:39:44,416 Why have yous done that? 1052 00:39:44,418 --> 00:39:46,785 And they're trying to basically scare off lasses 1053 00:39:46,787 --> 00:39:49,287 that we could have, or would have, brought back. 1054 00:39:49,289 --> 00:39:52,790 (shouting, arguing) 1055 00:39:52,792 --> 00:39:54,124 Oh, bore off! 1056 00:39:54,126 --> 00:39:55,425 It's honestly pathetic. 1057 00:39:55,427 --> 00:39:57,093 So, with a happy face. With a happy face. 1058 00:39:57,095 --> 00:39:59,128 Don't be daft. Just don't be daft. 1059 00:39:59,130 --> 00:40:01,130 The lads have never been able to take a joke, 1060 00:40:01,132 --> 00:40:02,264 especially when it's on them. 1061 00:40:02,266 --> 00:40:04,099 So, it's like animals. 1062 00:40:04,101 --> 00:40:05,133 (women shouting) 1063 00:40:05,135 --> 00:40:05,766 It's ridiculous. 1064 00:40:05,768 --> 00:40:08,135 So, we all go sky-fucking-high. 1065 00:40:08,137 --> 00:40:09,769 You're off your nuts. 1066 00:40:09,771 --> 00:40:11,804 It doesn't matter that I'm not saying anything, 1067 00:40:11,806 --> 00:40:12,838 'cause everything I'm thinking, 1068 00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:14,239 James is saying anyway. (chuckling) 1069 00:40:14,241 --> 00:40:15,173 It was fucking perfect. 1070 00:40:15,175 --> 00:40:18,142 women: So let's go! We tell them! 1071 00:40:20,345 --> 00:40:25,215 men: Who ate all the pies? Who ate all the pies? 1072 00:40:25,217 --> 00:40:26,449 men: You ate all the pies! 1073 00:40:26,451 --> 00:40:28,384 This is starting to get pretty malicious, 1074 00:40:28,386 --> 00:40:29,418 and from what I can hear 1075 00:40:29,420 --> 00:40:31,386 going on upstairs, this is taking 1076 00:40:31,388 --> 00:40:32,553 a disastrous turn for the worse, 1077 00:40:32,555 --> 00:40:34,821 and they are taking it, as per usual, 1078 00:40:34,823 --> 00:40:35,788 one step too fucking far. 1079 00:40:35,790 --> 00:40:38,524 men: You ate all the pies! You ate all the pies! 1080 00:40:38,526 --> 00:40:41,560 I'm not letting a man call me fat, 1081 00:40:41,562 --> 00:40:42,561 my friends fat. 1082 00:40:42,563 --> 00:40:44,262 What the fuck? Don't you fuckin' dare 1083 00:40:44,264 --> 00:40:46,163 stand up there and call me fuckin' fat! 1084 00:40:46,165 --> 00:40:47,597 I'm not bothered if it hits a nerve. 1085 00:40:47,599 --> 00:40:49,799 They shouldn't have done any of it in the first place. 1086 00:40:49,801 --> 00:40:52,468 (all shouting) 1087 00:40:52,470 --> 00:40:53,168 It is war. 1088 00:40:53,170 --> 00:40:54,936 Here, sit down. You're embarrassing yourself. 1089 00:40:54,938 --> 00:40:56,270 You're embarrassing... Sit down! 1090 00:40:56,272 --> 00:40:57,471 ...when you stand there slagging us off! 1091 00:40:57,473 --> 00:40:59,706 She needs to back off and shut the fuck up. 1092 00:40:59,708 --> 00:41:02,642 I'm not fucking backing down to anybody. 1093 00:41:02,644 --> 00:41:06,245 I'll fucking punch your head in. 1094 00:41:06,247 --> 00:41:07,412 James! James! James! 1095 00:41:07,414 --> 00:41:08,579 You are a little boy. 1096 00:41:08,581 --> 00:41:10,080 You're a little boy. That's the point. 1097 00:41:10,082 --> 00:41:10,780 I'm not a little boy. 1098 00:41:10,782 --> 00:41:12,148 Yous are horrible. Yous are disgusting. 1099 00:41:12,150 --> 00:41:14,383 Right the fuck off! Fuck off! 1100 00:41:14,385 --> 00:41:15,350 Sit down, man. Sit down. 1101 00:41:15,352 --> 00:41:16,351 I know who my friends are. 1102 00:41:16,353 --> 00:41:17,385 Fuck off. Fuck off, yeah? 1103 00:41:17,387 --> 00:41:19,487 Good-bye, James. Bye, James. 1104 00:41:19,489 --> 00:41:20,754 And all I can see is happening here 1105 00:41:20,756 --> 00:41:24,591 is the lad and lasses divide is coming back in. 1106 00:41:29,296 --> 00:41:30,929 ¶ Everyone's here to party 1107 00:41:30,931 --> 00:41:33,398 ¶ If you wanna go wild if you wanna go wild ¶ 1108 00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:34,665 ¶ Everyone's here to party 1109 00:41:34,667 --> 00:41:37,200 ¶ If you wanna go wild if you wanna go wild ¶ 1110 00:41:37,202 --> 00:41:38,367 ¶ Everyone's here to party 1111 00:41:38,369 --> 00:41:40,435 ¶ Let's party, party let me go wild ¶ 1112 00:41:40,437 --> 00:41:42,603 ¶ Let's party, party let me go wild ¶ 1113 00:41:42,605 --> 00:41:43,937 ¶ Oi, oi let me go wild ¶ 1114 00:41:43,939 --> 00:41:46,539 ¶ Let's party, party let me go own that ¶ 1115 00:41:46,541 --> 00:41:47,673 ¶ Oi oi let me go wild ¶ 1116 00:41:47,675 --> 00:41:49,975 ¶ Let's party hard let me go own that ¶ 1117 00:41:49,977 --> 00:41:52,978 ¶ Own that own that ¶