¶
We are all back in Newcastle, back in our playground.
Let the party begin.
It's a new boy.
What the fuck?
(Rebecca) She's got an attitude.
I tried to face it, I slapped her ass.
Really annoying, she's like thrush.
Surprised Anna wanted us to work for her again.
To be honest, that's the best we done last time.
Does anybody know how to spray-tan?
I'm gonna try it on with James.
She's not looking for baby wipes at all.
She's looking for cock, preferably my cock.
I don't feel safe in that room now.
She's not gonna eat you.
Today is Mom's birthday.
You've got a boyfriend, haven't you?
No, no, no, I haven't.
I just think you're so much better than this.
Dan did just fight for us.
I know I lied to you.
I'm gettin' blowjob lips.
Get them pumped up and get fuckin' sotted.
I'm wantin' my boyfriend to be here, and he hasn't turned up.
Oh my God, I'm so happy.
I would give him B+ for effort.
I am a Geordie girl with a VIP edge.
My biggest fear is gettin' wrinkles.
I've got a bangin' body and the banter to match.
I should have a degree in pulling women.
I would never kiss anyone without a six-pack.
The hardest graft I've ever done is doing me hair.
I could talk the back legs off a donkey.
I've got the looks, got the charm, it just works.
I'm fit, I'm flirty, and I've got double F's.
(all) Geordie Shore! Why aye!
¶
Where is everyone?
We're always out of tumblers.
James has moved into our room.
Hello.
(James muttering)
I thought he wouldn't stand up 'cause he's got a little
bang-osaur in there.
But then again, it is Holly.
What happened last night with Vicky?
They fucked.
James is asking Ricci what happened.
Did they bang? Did they not bang?
Didn't know how to answer the question.
Uh-uh.
Yeah, we had sex.
(boys laugh)
Oh yeah, they didn't bang.
(trumpet) Slut.
Are you sure?
Vicky apparently doesn't bang.
What the fuck's happened here?
Ricci's banged her.
She's got a boyfriend as well.
This house is fuckin' crazy.
Vicky got on...
Ricci Sicky.
There was some sex.
It's what couples do.
The padlock's off.
The cobwebs have been wiped.
You know, the vagina's been opened.
So what? I'd rather
shit in my hands and clap...
than watch them two mack on.
Past couple of days, I've tried to get in touch
with my boyfriend, I've rang him constantly,
I've offered him to come up.
He's ignorin' me phone calls now.
(phone rings)
Sophie's, like, my sister.
I don't really want to mess her around.
(phone rings)
And he answers.
How are you? You comin' down, then?
Definitely?
Totally understand.
If he doesn't come, it's over.
¶
What?
For fuck's sake.
Don't even, don't even,
I'm just, I just feel sick.
I feel sick.
My and Ricci's relationship
is more than I ever thought it was going to be.
I can no longer have that in my life.
It's not fair.
It's not you, it is me.
'Cause I'm a fuckin' knob.
Vicky's gonna finish Dan.
It turns out,
Barbie wants to be with Ken.
And she's gonna give Action Man the boot?
I've always liked Action Man, you know.
He's got a parachute, he's constantly camouflaged,
you never know where he is.
Dan doesn't turn up tonight...
don't blame him.
I'm still gonna feel guilty,
and I'm still gonna feel like shit.
But I can't get closure.
So Barbie's went to finish Action Man,
and he's not turned up.
He's nowhere to be seen.
Hang on a second, Barbie.
Action Man's always camouflaged.
He was obviously stood against the wall or something.
She's being mature about it,
and she's trying to deal with it
in the right way-- it's him...
he needs to grow.
(whispering)
You did nothing wrong.
The piece of string is not ending for Ricci.
He's hoped Vicky would come back and be single,
for them to move forward with their relationship.
I think Ricci's left hanging like a winnit.
Oh yeah, tonight you see Joel.
Are you nervous?
Sophie's really nervous because Joel's coming to see her.
She doesn't really know what to expect.
Do you know what, Sophie?
I've got this image of what
he's gonna look like in me head, you know?
Oh, what you think he's gonna look like?
He's gonna, like, roll in later.
Like, with a cap.
No, no cap.
I think you're gonna think he's gonna
look total opposite...
Will I be surprised?
Didn't come for her birthday.
Didn't come at the weekend.
In my opinion, I think she can do better.
But that's not for me to say.
And he's gotta prove himself.
He's got a fake tan.
I've got butterflies already, I'm like,
I can't wait.
I thought he was scared of us, babe.
(doorbell rings) (all clamoring)
Hi!
I missed you so much!
(mutters)
(all laughing)
He looks gorgeous.
I'm really-- I'm happy to see him.
If my boyfriend walked through the door like that,
I'd be like, "You twat."
He fit in with the lads very well, I would say.
It just seemed fucking stupid.
There's the girl. Fantastic.
What are you doin', mate?
I wear that outfit for work, and I hate it.
Joel, you might be an alreet neck mate,
and you might've fake-tanned yourself to the fuckin' hilt,
but this is never acceptable.
Wanker.
I'm glad you're here.
Yeah.
I am. Mm-hmm.
I'm really, really glad.
You miss me, yeah? I've really missed you,
but everyone's talked about you, Joel.
Sophie's not stupid, she's not plain,
she's a clever girl, and at the moment,
he's taking her for a fuckin' mug.
I thought you weren't gonna come today, y'know.
Innit?
I was like, "I don't think he's gonna come,
I think he's lying to us."
'Cause you missed twice, Joel.
If that was my boyfriend,
there would be no way I'd be standing for it.
Like, what the fuck is he doing? What's he playing at?
No, really, I said I cried and everything.
Seriously? Yes, and I cried,
I was like, "Doesn't he wanna see us?"
Hey, come on.
'Cause you've got a lot of making up to do
at the moment. I know, I know that.
And you're finally here, like, why?
Why not then and why now?
Oh my God.
Oh my God, baby...
Did you have your lips done?
Mm-hmm, look.
(Joel mutters)
I've got, like, a little bruise on.
Is that where the needle went in?
Mm-hmm. I'm gonna get mine done.
You can't get your lips done--
Why? It's for girls.
I love spending time with you.
Barbie and Ken are stopping in,
and Malibu Maggie and Simple Simon
and all the rest of the plastic people,
we are hitting town.
Just get hammered.
A couple of drinks.
You can teach me how to play at chess.
Everyone's going out tonight because Joel's here,
and to be entirely honest, I don't feel like it.
I'm gonna spend a lot of time with you tonight.
I don't need to go out looking for birds.
I've got the best-lookin' girl in Newcastle,
sat with me right here.
¶
Joel looks lovely, he looks gorgeous.
All I can see right now
is Joel standing with the boys,
and I've spent a lot of time with the girls.
I think, just for this night,
I want to spend it with me boyfriend.
If I was bothered about a bird,
I'd be all over her.
And I think he just want to get pissed
and go out on the lad tonight,
rather than go out with Sophie.
If he's with Sophie, and he's came down for her,
he should not even be looking at other women.
I've got me boyfriend here, but he's not paying any attention.
I'm down, I'm miserable.
I'm upset.
He's making a mug out of me.
Me friends can see what's going on.
And I'm embarrassed that they can see that.
And I'm bein' made to look like a mug.
And it looks like there's somebody else
in the same way, and it's Charlotte.
It's me, it's me.
Charlotte boots off about Gary.
I feel shit about meself,
I feel fucking shit.
All I think she's bothered about is
he went out with the lads and pullin' birds?
I care about him, I have feelings for him,
and do you think you will get on with someone
who you fucking live with?
It's hard, it's really hard.
Charlotte's taking it to the next level.
She's getting off where Gary even looks at a bird,
gettin' out of fuckin' hand.
I really like him, I really care for him,
and he doesn't give a fucking shit.
¶
After a lovely night in with Ricci,
and some relaxing time which I really needed,
it all just goes out the window the minute
they all come rolling in through the fucking doors.
Charlotte finishes up first,
and she is sobbing her heart out.
What happened? Tell us what--
Hi, tell us where to start.
She is sobbing her heart out again over Gaz.
Because he's chatted up someone else.
Charlotte, mate, Santa Claus isn't real.
Chocolate makes you fat.
Fish can only live in water.
Gary fuckin' will pull anybody else if he can.
Wise up, mate!
He speaks champagne craic on lemonade wages.
That's his banter, mate, it means fuck-all.
He gives it the biggen, but he's not worth fuck-all.
Gary asked us to be his girlfriend,
and I said no, I didn't want to.
But now, when I see Gary in the club,
I think I do.
I think I do wanna be his girlfriend.
It's hard for me, because everyone takes her side,
like I did something wrong, but they're forgettin' that
It's hard for me as well-- I've been--
see, I've been honest from day one.
I mean, don't get this wrong,
I don't want someone like Ricci.
I mean, he's half the size of us.
I don't wanna feel like I'm neckin' on with a Smurf.
All the other girls are all upset over what's been on.
And all I want is just comfort and a cuddle from him.
And he hasn't showed us anything.
And now I haven't had that for so long.
I haven't had a proper boyfriend,
in ages.
And I've missed the cuddling.
I've missed the nights alone with him.
And he doesn't give a shit about me.
All he's bothered about is hisself.
Wake up, man.
Stand up.
(Joel mutters)
I'm devastated, I'm heartbroken.
Like, I fell for this boy,
who I've spent a lot of time with outside of Geordie Shore.
And he's came into this house as a different person.
I've tried to ring him so many times for him to come down,
and he hasn't came.
And, like, now that he's here,
what was the point?
You should've just stayed at home.
Joel, I don't wanna have sex with you.
I don't wanna have sex with idiots.
So.
Joel, I just want you to go.
¶
You know what, like, tonight was an eye-opener.
To, like, see how she sort of reacts
to, like, me-- But she loves you, though.
I know she does, yeah.
All I think he's bothered about is
being one of the lads and pulling birds.
Why she got so angry, with the other girls and stuff.
I think, you know what, I think I should go.
I'll just, I'll see how it goes,
you know what I mean?
She's just gonna get heartbroken,
and he couldn't give a fuck.
¶ Everybody
¶ Feel the sunshine
¶ Everybody
¶ Feel the sunshine
¶ Everybody
¶ Feel the sunshine...
Be good. You too.
Don't do anything naughty.
See ya later.
What should I do about me relationship?
Wake up, it's Vicky's birthday,
I think, right, today's the day,
show her how much I care about her.
Got a teddy bear, cake for her.
Normally, I wake up on my birthday,
and I feel an instant sense of celebration.
That's in stark contrast to how I'm waking up today.
Cold, without a blanket,
in Charlotte's bed, because Ricci got in mine.
Absolutely mortalled, soaking.
I haven't got anyone who'll buy me a teddy and dance with
or just lie in bed with and cuddle,
'cause they're like a human being.
(whispering) Where is she? Upstairs, I think.
I'd be lucky to get a "hello" out of Gary
in the morning,
than the human dancing teddy bear.
Happy Birthday!
Huge, great big teddy?
Very sweet.
But I'm not five.
It's Vicky's birthday, so she's got some girl time.
I'm gonna have some boy time.
Vicky's the best-lookin' girl in Newcastle,
and obviously she should be with the best-lookin' lad
in Newcastle.
You weren't out with us, where were you?
I was chillin', mate.
You should've seen fuckin' Joel and Sophie.
He was lookin' at birds with us, it was like...
it was like he was out with the lads.
Do you know what I mean, you can't just go through Sophie
and be with us, it's gonna hurt her,
and it's gonna end up-- he's gonna hurt her.
She's our mate, we've gotta look out for her every day.
All right, we drank champagne,
and Sophie's just lyin', fuck it.
Vicky and Ricci have only known each other a couple of weeks,
but they literally can't keep their hands off each other.
Always kissing, always cuddling.
Sophie and Joel, on the other hand,
they've been together a while now,
and it's as if he doesn't even know her.
He doesn't even look at her, doesn't pay her any attention
or anything.
(girls screaming)
It's-- do you like it?
Oh, isn't it gorgeous?
We've bought her lovely presents,
we wanna have a good time,
and the day starts now.
--presents. (doorbell rings)
If this is a stripper, Sophie, I swear to God.
I'm gonna shut the door in his face.
I don't think it is.
A fuckin' hit, out like that.
Only people who have strippers
are people who fuckin' cannot pull themselves.
(women giggles)
Luckily for me, I get to the front door,
and it's me mum and dad.
And you have all got clothes on.
(all cheering)
Wow!
You've been spoiled!
Got her flowers, got her a big bouquet too, actually.
I've spent an absolute wedge on Vicky for her birthday.
Uh, but if you want that gash, you gotta spend that cash.
You got her flowers.
Oh...
Never got flowers for a bird in me life.
Ricci is playing this the total wrong way.
When's he gonna learn?
Treat them mean, keep them keen.
(doorbell ringing)
Oh, there's too many surprises!
I don't understand.
I don't know what else could be there.
This must be the stripper.
(women laugh)
I open the door, and there is the most ostentatious,
incredible bouquet of flowers I've ever seen in me life.
(women scream)
Oh, my God.
Who the hell are they of?
They must've cost an absolute fortune.
Oh, they're beautiful.
What the hell?
Oh, my God.
"I hope you like the daisies.
From, Ridiculously Good-Looking."
Ricci. Ricci.
Oh...
(all greeting)
I'm like, "Hang on a second.
"Vicky's mom and dad doesn't even
"know who you are yet.
"Shouldn't you be introducing yourself?
"But maybe you shouldn't be,
"'cause Vicky's still supposed
to have a boyfriend."
Ricci, this is me mum, Carolyn, me dad, John.
Hiya.
I hope I've made a good impression.
Um, they seem like really nice people as well.
But having this thing with Dan not really sorted,
and obviously they know Dan.
I just take a back seat, really,
and just come off as a nice person.
Could you not have got a bigger bunch?
I'm a bit embarrassed of these.
So Ricci's going all out for Vicky's birthday
and buying her presents, flowers.
It's all just a bit daft, really.
I'm so tired, I've been up early, remember.
Have you been up early?
It seems weird to have someone, like, kissing and cuddling
and, like, "Oh, I love ya, thanks for me presents."
Everyone thinks we'll play happy families.
Fuckin' hell.
¶
(phone ringing)
I wonder who it could be.
Let's go check.
Hello?
Hello. Yeah?
Right?
Right.
So I'm back in another bad mood.
Oh...
I don't wanna do it.
(Charlotte burps)
Do you wanna hand them out?
No, you-- I'm not working without ya.
But why don't we just not hand them out, then?
Because this is our job, and I'm a little showoff.
I'm leaving you with some, too.
I'll pass them out to the people who walk around the parlor--
No, because you scare people,
because you look like a fuckin' tramp.
Gaz and Charlotte are not really speaking.
A bit awkwardness between them.
It's gonna be so hard for me
to deal with this whole moody Charlotte--
I'm not speaking with her, so...
Can't you just forget about it?
Oh, I am, just sayin'.
It's a bit-- she's in a mood with me.
She's gonna be in a mood with work,
and in a mood with fuckin' everything else.
You're the cause of it, you know what I mean?
How's your bad mood doing?
The bad mood spreads quick.
Like wildfire.
The bad mood spreads like anthrax.
Fuckin' Ricci has cooked this romantic meal for Vicky.
It's, like, candles on the table,
the food's in the oven, and I'm like...
"Man, what the fuck are you playing at?"
Like... what?
(Charlotte retching)
I'm so sick of Ricci's horrible,
girly soppiness.
He might as well have a vagina
rather than a dick.
Turn that way.
I hope this'll prove how much I really care about her.
There you go.
Happy Birthday.
Bless Ricci. It was lovely.
He's so cute, and I'm really overwhelmed.
(cork pops) Ooh!
Thank you.
What girl doesn't love jewelry on her birthday?
When he gave us me necklace, it just melted me heart a bit.
I'd be shocked and creeped out
if someone actually bought all that for me.
I'd be, like, over the moon with a card
after two weeks.
I'd be over the moon that he even knew my birthday.
She likes stuff like that, wouldn't she?
She likes being treated like a princess.
Me, on the other hand, would be happy with a McDonalds.
Or a shag.
Happy Birthday.
After having a nice meal, after nice drinks,
giving her a present,
decided to hit the fuck hut, thinking,
"Right, this'll be a perfect end to a perfect day."
Come here, you.
I've slept with Vicky once, uh, really liked it.
(kissing sounds)
I should definitely be hitting that fuck hut tonight.
Ricci has put a lot of effort into my birthday.
And I'm really appreciative.
But that doesn't mean he's getting a bang.
(Ricci laughs)
¶
I am fuckin' fuming.
I do not get the piss taken out
if it's especially by a fuckin' boy.
So I think "Right, forget it."
Don't pick up the phone, don't do it over the phone.
End it to his face.
You all right? No, I'm not.
What's going on?
Do you actually want to be with us or not?
Aye. Are you sure?
Where's this coming from?
Because I know you're in the club,
you're getting with girls and everything in the club.
I wasn't getting with girls.
Like, what the fuck?
You've came in my town and my home,
sittin' in front of my friends,
tellin' them you fancy other people.
Do you not think they're gonna tell us?
They care about me.
It was embarrassing, in front of everyone, went--
"Sophie, get rid of him, he's not for you.
He doesn't wanna be with you."
I was like, well, what the fuck?
Well, what do they know?
They-- I said to them,
"I wanna give it a go."
You told Jay in the hot tub,
"I see her more as a mate."
Haway, you don't say that.
I-- no, I said, "Sophie's, like,
one of my best friends as well."
This is-- well, those are different.
Well, he got the wrong end of the stick then, didn't he?
All the boys sat and--
Why would I come all the way to Newcastle
to see you if I didn't want to be with you?
But, babe, you weren't with us.
I'm thinkin', "Don't fuckin' play me.
"You look like a mug, I look like a mug.
You've made yourself look like a stupid dickhead."
You left us alone in a night club.
While you were with all the girls--
No, I wasn't, I was having a good time.
(talking over each other)
No, no, you know what it's like?
If you want to be with this, you oughta make an effort.
But you didn't.
Sophie-- Fuck off, man.
All I wanna do is run back up, maybe cuddle him, and say,
"Just say you're sorry, and everything will be all right.
We'll get back to normal."
But I think, no,
I'm not cool with you.
No one deserves me if they're gonna go on like that.
No way.
I don't wanna be that girl.
I don't wanna end up like Charlotte.
It wasn't easy, was it?
No, it was the hardest thing I've ever done, Vicky.
Sophie's down, she needs cheering up.
I think all the house could do with a bit
of a fuckin' boost, if I'm honest.
Let's get all our mates 'round,
let's get the drink flowin',
and let's do it like we know how.
Let's get fuckin' mortalled.
This is the crack. We are having a party tonight.
(women screaming)
Sophie's just split up with Joel,
everyone's feeling down for her.
It's not nice to see when your little family member's down.
What better way than get a DJ around,
get all the lights 'round,
and just have a fuckin' mint house party.
The party's in the house, if you wanna have a drink,
we're just gonna get absolutely mortalled.
I'm so excited.
What guy am I going to have sex with?
Every single guy!
(women scream)
Got a DJ comin', strobe lights,
fuckin' smoke machines, everythin'.
(women screaming)
We're only havin' a silent disco.
When you jump 'round like lunatics,
you haven't got the time for waiting--
still have a dance?
(girls cheering)
Let me know if you wanna come, man,
it'll be class tonight.
Party is on the way.
So it'll be like, that's just sittin' right there.
(doorbell rings)
Whoa.
I open the door, and there's a bag there.
So I pull the bag in, and it just say,
"Happy Birthday."
This is for you.
I know they're for me.
And I know they're from Dan.
There's a lot here.
For Vicky? Aye, to Vicky.
There ya go, you can have 'em.
Ricci's faced straightaway.
In a right little strop.
(Ricci sighs)
Throw 'em away, you don't need 'em,
do you know what I mean?
I'm giving you everythin' now.
Don't cry. (whispering)
When is it gonna stop?
I was never gonna open the presents.
I just wanted a second to collect me thoughts.
But the girls care about us.
And they know that this is a hard time I'm going through.
You're not over them?
You might as well open them now.
(gasps) Oh my fuckin' God.
To buy a pair of shoes for a girl.
That's it. They're in.
(women muttering)
And you know what else he's got?
A handbag to go with it.
I don't want to save any of it.
Fuckin' hell.
Why would you have a go with Ricci who
buys flowers for you?
And a shitty teddy.
I suppose, out of respect for Ricci,
I probably shouldn't've done it.
But it takes a fuckin' strong woman
to look at presents and not open them.
Nice presents.
See, I-- if I was you,
I would've just handed that bag straight back.
Don't shout at us, Ricci.
Fuck it.
What the fuck?
Ricci the Dickhead, don't kick someone
when they're down.
That isn't what you do.
I'm sorry-- I'm sorry,
I'm the one wanted to have a party--
Shh-- no, no, don't...
Stupid-- how many fucking pairs of eyelashes
I'm gonna fuckin' cry.
So Vicky cries, and she has to take her eyelashes off,
'cause the only pair she's got,
and I don't want her to ruin them for the party.
So I'm trying to pull them, to get them dry for her,
'cause I know that she needs these eyelashes.
I hope she doesn't think I'm being ignorant.
I'm just tryin' to save her eyelashes.
Why wouldn't she hand 'em straight back?
Why would you hand them back, though?
Because she shouldn't care--
It's her boyfriend, it's her boyfriend.
Well, what's she been doing with me, then?
Well, exactly.
He doesn't need to go on like this.
He's being so immature.
And he's not acting his age.
I was dead excited for this party, do you know what I mean?
And I'm not gonna deny it,
that Dan dropping those presents off
has undoubtedly took
the sheen off the evening for me.
So we're all getting ready for the party,
but Vicky's still feeling down about the presents and the card,
The card's been hand-crafted.
There's photos of Vicky and Dan
all over the front of when they've been on holiday.
"How thrilling it is to touch ya,
"to name just a few.
"I remember that night, you tiger,
when I first met you."
"What prevails over all
"is I love my princess,
and she loves her knight."
It's-- that's a good...
Oh, God, no, it's not.
It's very bad, horrible card
that we should never read again.
Oh my God, I was so close to puttin' 'em on that time.
I just shouldn't wear them.
Look at the card-- Uh-huh.
as one of them funny nursery rhymes
that you made when you were little.
Remember 'bout that old woman who lived in the shoe?
No, no, there was never a nursery rhyme
about the young girl who was a slag.
Vicky's not a slag.
She might be having sex with two different boys,
but that's not a slag.
It's about time us girls
took a leaf out the boys' books
and just banged left, right, and center.
We're only havin' a silent disco.
Hi, how are you? All right, how are you?
Having a party, ay?
Anna strolls in with two semi-naked people.
So you don't have to lift a finger tonight.
So this is my gift to you guys.
It'll make this party a party.
One of them, being the bird,
I have recently been banging.
She just keeps turning up and turning up.
And when she's here,
it'd just be rude not to bang her, wouldn't it?
Now, this girl is becoming a little bit of a stalker.
She is everywhere.
Let's have a fucking party.
(woman screaming)
It's our party, with a DJ.
We got birds, this is the best night
I've had in a long time.
Tonight, I am going to pull someone.
I need to prove to everyone
that I'm finally over Gary.
Oi, mate!
And in walks Ricci's friends.
(talking over each other)
Wow, who is that hottie at the back
with the denim shirt
and the muscles popping out,
the good smile, and the really great hair?
Phew.
We're having a bit of a flirt on.
I'm touching his muscles,
I've got UV paint, and I'm putting it
down his arms and that.
Oh my God, you can grate cheese on them abs.
Me and Charlotte haven't been talking for the last few days.
So she's sort of craicing on with Ricci's mate, Leroy.
For me, that's a good thing.
If she's also talkin' to him,
she bangs him, even if she necks on him,
that is my free pass for the weekend.
And then we clear, I would go, like, right,
"You pulled one, I pulled someone."
That's what gonna happen, we'll be mates,
and we'll get away from the whole
bang each other, go 'round in circles.
Aah, how the fuck does that work?
He's almost quite childish in his approach to this.
What he says is right, and what I think's wrong,
and there's no room for compromise or a gray area.
(shouting)
All right, fine, you know what,
I was gonna be nice to you, but...
you're fuckin' doing my head in.
So, what, I'm doing your fucking head in?
You're doing my head in. Really?
You know what it is, you're doing my fucking head in.
After seeing her accept those presents,
it was kind of like,
it's just a spanner in the works completely.
It's like, do you have feelings for him still?
And we're just taking a step back?
Do you feel any different now--
You know how I feel.
Do you feel any different...
¶ (dance music)
Exactly, it should--
I feel a little bit differently about you...
Really, all right, so, nee bother.
Tonight, she's definitely have to decide, me or Dan.
Everyone knows, when Ricci's been drinking,
and he gets smashed,
the kid is a fuckin' knob.
We're having the best fuckin' night of our lives.
Never, nasty biggen, I don't wanna argue.
You just talk to us like shit, and I am--
Shush!
You heard the way he fucking speaks to us.
Are you hearing this? Shut up.
Shut up, come here, give me a kiss.
Despite what happened earlier in the evening,
I'm having a brilliant night.
I mean, it's not long before me and him are just
back to being a little of sick puppy dogs again.
I haven't had a girlfriend because
I'm not the type of person just to go jumping into
a relationship either.
Ricci decides this is the right time to spring a question on us.
A question that I'm not sure I'm actually ready for.
But, regardless, he powers through.
Feel a bit like I'm at a school disco.
It's, like, just the drink,
or maybe it's how much fun I'm having.
Maybe it's just how I actually really do like him.
Whatever it is, I'm compelled to say a "yes."
Woop woop! Get in.
I wanna tell everyone, proper too, I'm proper happy,
had a few drinks as well, so I'm a bit, like, cheerful.
¶ (dance music)
Everyone, my new girlfriend.
Shut up, you don't announce it again.
We're all having a massive rave,
everyone's got their headphones on, you know,
then I see Ricky, and I think, "Whoa,
he's going to emcee from the DJ box."
You are taking how drunk I think you are
to all-new realms of disgusting drunkenness
by deciding to announce our new situation
over the fuckin' DJ's tannoy.
This is embarrassing.
I feel like being sick
all over the dance floor.
I actually can't believe
Ricci has gone from bad to worse.
What, like, self-respecting lad
goes on the mic from the DJ at a house party
to announce they're now girlfriend/boyfriend?
And it's-- best thing, it's fuckin' Vicky.
(retches)
It finally happens.
The perfect moment.
I finally tash on with someone other than Gary.
It's Leroy. I've tashed on
with Ricky's friend with the brilliant abs.
I'm in there, I've done it.
I'm... I feel like George Bush.
I feel like, what's the girl version of George Bush?
Margaret Thatcher!
I keep looking, and Lucy is just looking over.
It was all the time.
And I'm looking around,
and there's no other decent birds.
And I've had a few drinks,
so I've gotta get a bang tonight, like...
Do you know what, I'm not even jealous,
because I've been there.
I've done that as well.
I'll fuck her one more time, won't hurt.
I need to get a towel, bro.
Well, like, right now, Ricci, I don't give a fuck.
Ricci keeps coming into me room.
In and out, in and out, every two seconds.
I've only had half a shag because of that fucking gimp.
He can't handle his drink,
and he's just going on like an absolute bell-end.
Charlotte starts kissing and flirting with Leroy.
It's like, yes,
eventually she's getting on with someone else.
She's not hovering around me, she's not crying on me,
and I was like, if she gets with him,
kisses him, bangs him, just do something,
then it's my free pass for the weekend.
The party's over.
Leroy, come on, you gonna go?
And Ricci's just pissed again.
Whoa!
(shouting)
It's all kicking off.
I'm like, "What the fuck, whoa,
I best get down there," so I run down the stairs.
James splits them up.
He's like a Superman without a combover.
(Sophie) Now, fuck-- now, now,
fucking stop!
Obviously my first priority in this situation
is to get Ricci as far enough away
from whatever seems to be irritating him as possible.
I wanna look out for him, I wanna look after him.
You're over, son, and you fucking know it.
(Ricci shouting)
I know I haven't spoke to Gary,
but I care about him, and I don't wanna see him get hurt.
--you're soft as shit.
This isn't the party that we were hoping for.
(shouting over each other)
It just all seems a big mess to me.
Stop, I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry--
(shouting over each other)
I'm pissed off, like,
'cause we've all had such a good night,
and it's just ended...
shit, because of them.
¶ Everyone's here to party
¶ If you wanna go wild, if you wanna go wild ¶
¶ Everyone's here to party
¶ If you wanna go wild, if you wanna go wild ¶
¶ Everyone's here to party
¶ If you wanna go wild, if you wanna go wild ¶
¶ Everyone's here to party
¶ Let's party, party (if you wanna go wild) ¶
¶ Let's party hard (if you wanna go wild) ¶
¶ Let's party hearty
¶ Own that, own that, own that ¶