In about, I would say, five minutes she was
down doing the job.
I feel so sorry for her boyfriend right now.
You're gonna get with Vicky.
I'll admit it, she's yours.
The minute I saw Jay, I thought, wow.
Looking gorgeous.
Very handsome yourself.
She's absolutely stunning.
Do you know what I mean?
If you don't turn up for work, or you turn up late, you really
really jeopardize your position in this house, guys.
This year is my year, I'm gonna be a complete slut.
One big, happy family now.
Gaz is in there like swimwear all over Char.
She is in the palm of my hand.
[Music]
My biggest fear is getting wrinkles.
I am a Geordie girl with a V.I.P. Itch.
I should have a degree in pulling women.
I've never kissed anyone without a six-pack.
The hardest graft I've ever done is doing hair.
I could talk the back legs off a donkey.
Dress to impress, that's me.
I'm fake, I'm flirty and I've got double F's.
Geordie Shore, why aye!
[soft techno music]
Last night I found me self a lively guy.
I like attached on to everything.
Desperate for a bit of action.
I don't know what's happened, I'm the first girl to shag
on Geordie Shore.
Day fucking three.
I think the year of the slut has actually begun.
Get in.
Gaz and Charlotte spent all morning in bed?
Come on.
Aye, Aye.
Gary is a sex machine, and I think I'm probably one of
the only girls who have ever not given sex.
I have a secret weapon and it does drive the girls wild.
It's me muscle cock.
Oh geeze.
When I got the secret out, she was like, like amazed.
It's like a parsnip, that's what I said it was like.
That's the kind of parsnip I've been.
I've been a vegetable combination,
I've been the biggest and best.
He was swinging it about in the bedroom, I thought I he was
going to smash the walls down.
Bosh, Bosh, bosh.
Like bang, bang, bang, bang.
I thought everything was smashed out, I thought we were
gonna fall out, like fall out the roof in there.
Some girls take two years, some girls take two weeks,
some girls take six months.
It will happen, it's just a matter of long a graph
it will take.
[Bedroom chatter and laughter]
Is that how, are you fucking right now?
Is that all you're doing is shagging?
Awe can I see your cock now?
Oh yeah, let's see.
[screams]
[music]
I was like, "What the fuck is that?"
I've never, and I've seen a lot of cocks in my life,
and I've never seen anything like that.
It was like my forearm.
Everyone's seen it now, so the secret is out.
It was huge.
Never seen that, I would be scared.
[music]
No matter how mortal I was last night, I knew me and James
had to get up early and do a shift for work.
I just jumped out of bed, I didn't know what time it was,
run down to speak to James 'cause I knew he'd, he said he
was gonna set the alarm.
Looked at the clock and I think it was about ten to eight
on his alarm.
I was like "Look, we need to get up, work."
Fuckin ten to eight?
Fuck off.
[laughter]
[alarm bells keep ringing]
[phone rings]
I knew it'd be Anna straight away.
Hello?
Is Jay there?
Hi Anna, it's James.
Where are ya?
I think we'll be two minutes, literally two minutes.
Me and James are right, we're ready here.
We're just about to walk out the door.
Did I not say 8:00 a.m., don't be late?
Ah, you did, you did.
We're really sorry.
We'll be literally two minutes.
No, if you're too late to start, listen I'm absolutely fuming.
Honestly, don't tell Jay all right, I was blaming the alarm
clock for not going off, but really I was all pissed up,
I forgot to turn it on.
[laughing]
I'm really disappointed.
Anna, please.
You've let me down, you've let me client down.
You can't be late for a job.
I'll call you later.
I'm gonna have to let you go.
Anna, please, give me two minutes.
Bye.
Fucking hell.
Yeah, James.
Anna's just absolutely foamin.
[music]
It was just, we ended up getting too pissed and didn't set
the alarm properly, so it's my fault.
I don't want Jay, well he kept saying that he could have
set the alarm as well.
By seeing his willy, it is absolutely huge.
I was like keep that thing away from me.
He's put a girl in the hospital with that you know?
I think he punctured her lung or something.
Direct in the bongo, 'cause I couldn't lie in bed
with a bird and not bang her.
She said she didn't do it though.
I asked, like I asked her that too, I asked,
"Did you bang him or not?"
And she's, she's dead, and she put her book down
and she just went, "No babe I swear,
but I seen his willy and it's massive."
[laughter]
I've never seen it.
I've got no desire to ever see it.
If he ever gets it out in front of me I'll be mortified.
[music]
Being in this house is a bigger test for me
and Dan's relationship.
A lot more than I thought it actually would be.
I mean obviously the things that I've done, and some of the
things that I've said, I'm not particularly proud of when
I have a boyfriend.
Did you miss me last night?
Yeah.
Did ya?
You know I do.
Awe, promise ya, I was crying again last night.
You should definitely come over one time, 'cause like, we've got
like a guest room and stuff and it's got like a four poster bed
the lads keep shaggin in it and stuff,
but we keep changing it in there.
But if you come down we can stay in there and it'll be fun.
Can we?
Yeah.
Sounds good to me, just let me know when I can come down
and I'll be there.
Will do babe, not a problem at all.
Love you.
Love you, bye.
[laughter]
Love you, bye.
My boyfriend Dan said that like I can kiss other lads while I'm
here, but on the first night I ended up in bed with Gary.
I just can't remember a thing and I really wish I could so
I could be open and honest about it.
So are you, are you allowed to do what you want, but he's not?
Uh, no, I mean I'm here, he's at home.
Like, well, no, I don't know.
[laughter]
So you're allowed to suck Gary's [bleep]?
No, no.
If I've done it, I'll admit it, I'm a prick.
If I haven't then I'm still a prick for getting in to bed
in the middle of the night, so either way I'm an idiot.
He's a liar then?
Yes, he's a fucking liar.
Is he?
Yeah!
No definitely.
We decided on going out and have some fun as a group.
The whole situation with me and Vicky is something you make
of teenagers, she's good as a friend.
I hope Jay's not, got something to prove now 'cause I made
a lunch date with Greg.
'Cause me and Greg are mates.
I think her and Jay, I think they hit it off like.
I'm stuck in each others beds every night since
we've been here.
Just having a cuddle and everything.
We're playing like a little husband and wife role
at the minute.
Vicky pulled us aside and was asking us about like
what's gonna be happening?
Am I gonna be bringing anyone back, do I plan on bringing
anyone back, do I want to bring anyone back?
Do you mind if I brought someone home then?
Like I really, really like Jay.
He's handsome, he's my type.
And he looks like he could handle himself.
And he feels like a real gentleman as well.
Are you planning on bringing someone back like?
I didn't want to do anything to rock the boat.
And I don't want to do anything to upset him.
I hope he feels the same way.
Don't go having sex with someone in the bed next to us.
Am I clear?
You're clear.
Yes, ma'am.
[laughter]
She can do what she wants, I can do what I want.
She is good looking, but it doesn't mean that
anything's gonna happen.
[music]
Walk through the door, and there's like this note on the
table from Anna and it's like, it's an angry note.
"Came around to have a chat with Jay and James,
you were all out again.
Place is a mess, guys.
We need to have a serious chat.
Not impressed.
Anna."
Shit, I hope this doesn't mean that we're gonna get booted out.
She's mad cause the house is a mess, angry 'cause she's been
calling around a couple of times when not in, and then obviously
she was absolutely ragin about Jay and James not turnin' up.
At the start we were still a little bit pissed this mornin',
thought of it as a joke, as the day's gone on now I think we'll
actually start panicking, it is getting a lot, a lot easier.
I think she's being a bit harsh there, like nothing was wrong.
Like it was mine and James's fault, I'll hold my hands up to
that but to kick us out, I think she's probably taking
it a little bit too far.
Made a little bit of a mistake but we definitely don't
deserve to go home like.
[music]
The lads are on a bit of a downer like,
'cause we might be going.
But either way, to cheer the lads up in the house
is to have birds.
I've got loads of birds numbers from last night.
Let's get it on.
Can we ring them?
Time to get moving?
Yeah, so what we'll do is...
Can you see him?
He's got them in his pocket.
Come on lads, let's do it.
Just leave them.
I'm the oldest lad here, so I thought it's time
to educate them.
So we're gonna go out, get their numbers, wine and dine them,
make them feel special, shag them, then dump them.
Let's try to cook them a meal and that.
Never, ever.
Hey, what are we gonna cook, man?
We have some wine.
Cham is not wine.
Bovine.
Wine, steak, hot tub.
Bang.
Me and the guys are like learning things from Greg.
'Cause like usually we just go on a night out,
we'll pull a bird, we'll get them back,
we'll bang them.
My technique is more just like, you're in, you're out,
you felt up the crack, you're done.
To wine and dine and champagne will have to be a really,
really special person.
I wouldn't need to wine and dine Charlotte.
It's already sore.
Oh hey, I'll ring them now, yeah?
Play it cool Howard, play it cool.
I'm making sure that the snake is ready to do it,
I'm gonna get four birds around.
We're gonna wine and dine them, make them feel good,
and then bang them.
Hi, is this Harriett?
It is, yes.
Hi Harriett, it's Greg from Saturday night.
Oh hello, how are you doing?
All right, yeah, you?
Yeah, I'm fine, thanks.
Um, what are you doing tonight?
Um, I'm not doing much really.
Well me and the boys are going to cook some food and get some
drinks, if you fancy that like.
Oh yeah, that would be really good.
Do you want us to spend all me money on food and stuff?
No.
I just wanna go out and get them pissed and get them back
and just bang them.
About, we'll say about 9:00.
Yeah, 9:00, that'd be great.
All right cool.
All right, then.
All right cool, we'll see you then, yeah?
Okay, bye.
[guys cheer]
Hey, good job.
There's one, who was that?
[laughter]
One down, three to go.
[laughter]
Top, top.
Awe, cheers the fucking bad hand.
I reckon Vicky's gonna kick off without a doubt and I reckon
Charlotte's gonna be kicking off with Gary as well.
You can't tell them.
Like they cannot find out.
Yeah, what are you gonna say?
They'll go nuts.
Especially if these birds are like fit and all blonde.
Tonight is a tricky one with Charlotte.
Is she worth waiting for?
Is it worth cuddling like fancy the offs of her?
So I'm just gonna go to the floor tonight.
It'll be interesting to see Charlotte's face.
[music]
So what about you and Gary?
Me and Gary, nothing.
I could use that kiss sometimes but that's it.
But what if he brings a lass back tomorrow?
And I'm bothered, I don't care.
And he's constofting and like it ain't like me and Gary's
gonna get married now 'cause there's already a married
couple in the house.
Ohhhh!
Like I really, really like Jay.
I think he does fancy us.
But at the end of the day, Jay's still a lad.
I don't know how I'll react if he brings a bird back.
We'll just have to, we'll just both have to play it by
ear won't we?
I'm really worried about Vicky.
I think like she might be keen on Jay than what Jay is for her.
[music and laughter]
We're all having a couple of drinks and Charlotte gets
the brilliant idea of making a punch bowl.
[music]
Just having a couple of drinks, chilling out.
I don't want to say the lads were absent, like it took them
a while cause we were a bit tipsy.
[laughter]
They're gonna be smashed by the time them girls come around.
Yeah, we'll weigh them up man.
We'll pretend we're coopin for men, get the candles, they'll be
absolutely buzzin, then foreplay's out the door.
'Cause then we come with champagne and the birds
are just like, is that for us?
Am I?
Hmmm.
[laughter]
I got Charlotte there, this is me, go get ready upstairs.
Ding dong.
[laughter]
It's gonna be a problem later but the girls haven't got a clue
there's gonna be four good looking blonde girls tearing up.
We rock out all dressed up for the night.
We got the table, table set, we've got champagne, candles.
I've never done that for a girl in me life.
What we're gonna say?
There's gonna be candles on the table.
What will we say, we're just having...
We'll say us four are just having...
Just say it's a lads night.
A lads night with candles?
[laughter]
They know exactly what sort of lads we are.
Fucking candles.
What's the time Gary?
Five after eight.
Fuck.
Yeah, we better get a move on.
[chatter]
We haven't even gone the full way yet.
If I did go the full way it could get very complicated
and Charlotte could turn and be very possessive.
Greg come here.
[girls chant Greg's name]
[chanting] Get your cock out.
Get your cock out for them lassies!
Get your cock out for the lassies.
We're pacing ourselves, Gregory.
Would you like to get involved?
Go ahead, get a cup.
I've gotta, I've gotta jump in the shower.
You had a shower before you came bowling.
No.
All them had a shower before they came bowling.
Fucking liar, man.
Are you having a shower again?
Yeah.
Greg's having another shower.
Why?
Something's kicking off here.
They're definitely up to something like,
but we left them to it.
We all ended upstairs trying on clothes for like, for marvel,
and get my face masks on and everything.
Like it was no skin off our nose, you know what I mean?
You all got 20 minutes.
[laughter]
What the fuck are you doing?
Shaving.
I gotta be smooth for the birds.
[piano music]
Everything's going as planned.
Our girls haven't got a clue what's going on.
[door bell rings]
[girls chattering]
I love the jacuzzi.
So we're all upstairs just doing face masks and everything, just
chilling out with the girls, and we hear all this girly giggling
screeching and typically female behavior.
[girly chatter]
They literally walked in like, like, you know like, um
them blonde things in like heels and like dresses
and proper curly rolled hair.
Like oh we're going to the Geordie Shore,
we're gonna boss all the other lasses.
Why are they doing this?
Fucking bellends.
I knew there was something going on.
I don't know if the guys even thought about it really before,
but I think all they're worried about is getting their creep on.
I feel like they got them back on purpose to make
us look fucking unrank.
Drink!
I bet you're a proper charmer.
What?
He's a charmer.
You're a player.
Oh yeah, baby.
Player.
[laughter]
But we're pissed off, don't get us wrong but we didn't want
to show the lads we were the slightest bothered.
So we stayed in our room all night and left the
apartment to ourselves.
Cheers!
So, Greg.
Greg is doing an amazing job because he's cooked mushrooms.
It's fucking good.
Yeah, dinner's like, it's amazing.
Greg, can I just tell you this one thing?
I feel like me steak's still alive.
You said you wanted it rare.
I love it red, but I like it dead.
It's not dead yet.
They were all like girls that he pulled in the bar so I let him
have first choice.
He was gagging for a girl.
She was giving him all like funny looks like eye contact
and stuff and like pouting her lips and stuff.
It was like guaranteed Greg was going to bang her like --
[music]
I see you all right in the mirror.
I'm gonna show her around.
The candles, the champagne were the massive touch
and they fell straight into the trap.
And straight away it was a race for the guestroom.
So I just grabbed my stray, I wasn't messing around.
I took her straight in there and did the business.
Fucking guest room.
That fucking...
And then about 20 minutes, half an hour Greg was in the guest
room doing what he does.
Just snaking straight away.
So I'm pleased, I think Greg really wanted that,
I think it's loosened him right up.
Whoop!
Get in!
What if we just stay dry?
I ended up with Jade who was a total airhead.
[screams]
[laughter]
Come in the hot tub!
Then I went and took her to the guestroom.
Went all in there.
Jade's got a boyfriend.
Oh, that's not good.
[chatter]
Are you coming in the hot tub as friends?
She's just got lad.
All that time wasted for nothing.
Jade's bird's got a lad.
Mine's boring as fuck.
And it just looks like banging's off the cards for us.
[cheering and yelling]
So I grab a duvie, I grab my cushions, got in with the girls,
and thought Jay, knock yourself out lad.
I'm not gonna cock block.
Push our beds together, have a doubler.
Jay, get over here so I can talk to you as well.
There you go.
Thanks, love.
Harriett?
James and Jay, come barreling in, straight away
and Jay's like, you all right?
You all right?
All we had was shit crack, we all had was shit crack.
James is like, we came up here to have some fun with our
house mates blah blah blah.
That's kind of nice you know to have them mean like.
We had bone squashers right?
We just had four of the biggest airheads around in the world.
Me and James were just like, oh here,
we should just like stop with them.
I'll cook the meal for them all night do you know what I mean?
'Cause these locks downstairs were just total nightmares.
And absolute just doing my head in all night.
Do you know what this is?
I'd rather be with you.
This little bird comes like toddling up the stairs like
six dorm, drippin wet, worst hair extensions
I've ever seen in my life.
She comes like, mincing up, actually soaking wet.
Hello.
Oh God, oh fuck off.
Go that way please before I smash your fucking face in.
I was like, I was like the grinch.
I was like fuming, absolutely fuming.
There's a mop downstairs.
It's just you don't need to be so rude.
Horrible, horrible person.
You even have a house.
I'm a horrible person?
I was told to come here.
I was joking.
Go downstairs, ask for your mates,
and tell your mates downstairs.
I'm going downstairs.
Yeah, Jay just --
When I think about Gary with another girl, I think I might
actually be sick in me mouth.
Pooh me self.
Sick in me mouth or pooh me self.
Maybe both.
Goodnight, Greg.
Basically I felt her from the shelter, oh yeah, yeah,
I do like you, you were nice, even though I'm
never going to speak to her again.
[music]
[phone rings]
Hello?
Hi, Sophie.
I'm gonna come to the house.
Uh huh.
I'd like you to let Jay and James know that I'd like
to speak with them then.
Well is it good or bad?
I'll be about an hour and I'll let them know then, Sophie.
Right.
Please make sure the house is tidy.
I don't wanna walk into a mess.
Okay.
Okay?
Right.
Know better Anna.
Know better love.
Bye.
All right, bye.
All us girls are still pissed off about the lads bringing
them girls back last night.
Shit.
But the only thing we want is for Jay and James
to stay in the house.
So let's get this place ordered, let's get it tidied,
and let's all stick together.
[music]
Tidied our room, I hoovered the kitchen, I mopped, I cleaned
every single plate I think I could even see in sight.
[music]
We've barely finished cleaning and then Anna walks up and
does a full house inspection.
Oh.
Do you live like this at home?
Is this the remnants of last night?
Then they went to the guestroom where I was staying last night.
[chuckles]
And I left it in a state last night.
I can't remember how I left it.
Oh, my God.
Oh, who's are these?
Greg's.
Well, at least you've been safe.
Did you take your socks off before or after?
They're not mine
¶
Are you all right?
Been better.
So Anna's really turned up about the house.
Like me and Jay just don't know whether she'll
allow us to stay or what like.
I hope I'm making the right decision.
I really do.
We'll give you another chance.
I need you to really make it up to us as well by the way.
Definitely.
I got another night.
[cheering]
[music]
We're definitely gonna be celebrating tonight.
Tuesday's the biggest night out in New Castle, so we're gonna
get glammed up Geordie style and get absolutely mauled.
We are doing typical Geordie routine to get
ready for a big night out.
I wanna have one shot in me hand at all times.
I can just not wait for tonight.
Buzz-ing.
[music]
I hadn't seen me friends for a while,
so they come straight over to me.
I'm like yes, me friends.
So we see her mates are all stunning, and all good looking,
I didn't believe her or not and then last night in the club
about 15 girls come in.
All stunning, all Sophie's mates.
I'm starting to like Gary now and I've told him if he brings
a girl back, I'm punching him square in the face.
Geordie Shore lads were loving the girls last night.
They take over, they're just grabbing each one,
so I thought, fuck this I'm pulling their mates.
I'm pulling Geordie Shore's lads.
I seen James dancing with a friend,
I fancied the fuck out of this lad.
He is with me tonight.
The girls outlasted the boys last night.
Standard.
Charlotte is the last thing on my mind.
I see another girl, a wirly or a good looking girl,
I'm not gonna not go with them because of Charlotte.
That's not gonna happen.
She's not my girlfriend.
I'm hoping psycho Charlotte won't come out on Gary.
That would be bad.
But she's probably gonna.
It all moves up to the bedroom.
The bedroom is the star of the shore.
The bedroom's just sex in the air.
There's kicks flying about.
I seen knickers comin off.
It's just a complete porn movie last night.
I am giving him the best night of his life.
He's gonna be remembering my name by the end of this night.
[music]
[Charlotte yells in the street]
Charlotte is a live wire.
She's a liability.
A legitimate kick off like.
She's fucking mortal.
Literally.
She can't even stand up.
It's hilarious.
When it comes to Gary, like if he's gonna bring a bird home,
she's a, she's in the wrong mood.
This could just go sky high.
[Charlotte's yelling]
Get her in the car.
Come on.
Get her in the car.
I come back, Gary's in another room with a fucking girl.
I couldn't give a shit about that but that makes
me look like moog.
It makes me look like a fucking moog.
Yeah but you knew that from the start, right?
No.
You know what he's like.
You've seen it, right?
So you can't...
I seen it yeah.
I can't see that but I'm a fucking moog for even
starting to like him.
Because of the girls I'm pissed off because
I didn't bring anyone home.
And I don't wanna look like a moog who keeps sitting by
me self while Gary's getting everyone.
And no matter how switched on I like to think she is, no matter
how much of a tough cookie I say she is,
I think she's falling a bit for him like.
Listen right, you're pissed.
I'm not pissed.
Yes, you are pissed man.
All right, Greg, fuck off.
Fuck off?
Why are you telling me to fuck off.
I'm not fucking drunk.
You fucking plainly are.
This is the last thing you want to do.
Am I slurring my words like?
Yes.
I am slurring my words?
Yes.
Am I?
Yes.
But really, I am absolutely mortal.
I can't even see him.
Am I slurring my words?
You're not.
You came over to help her.
And then she started giving me fucking grief.
I am not fucking drunk.
I was fucking trying to help you man.
You're worried about your feelings.
I don't think I realized how mad Charlotte was.
I think we all thought she was nice and innocent but after
seeing her go out, she's an absolutely marter.
If he keeps fucking about, I can see her hitting him
or hitting the girl he's with.
Next thing you know, I'm upstairs in my bedroom and
Charlotte comes flying though the door and kicks off and was
telling me that I can't, in my fucking bedroom,
we have a bird and she's kicking off.
Go in the guestroom and away Jay.
Away.
As if come in our room with a lad.
That is Vicky's bedroom.
No girls on the top floor because it's our bedroom
and Vicky's bedroom and I'm gonna stick up for Vicky.
If that was my room I wouldn't want no dirty little
girls in my room.
I'm not listening to you, I'll listen to her.
Why not me?
'Cause she lives here.
She lives here.
You live here?
Yes, I do live here.
I didn't know that, I'm sorry.
She lives here, she lives here, right....
And do you know who lives, do you know who lives there?
Vicky.
Jay you brought this on your fucking self.
I brought it on myself, man?
Vicky was gonna come by you, man.
You're so fucking dumb.
It's not even her bedroom, so she was shouting at me,
I was kicking off with her.
I said I'm fucking pissed.
That's fucked up, no man?
Oh, my God.
I'm pissed.
I'm emotional and I'm gotten about Gary and I really think
that psycho Charlotte's starting to creep it's way out so I think
people's gotta watch out now.
Especially Gary.
[music]
So I wake up, I'm roaming around, I'm thinking, shit
there's gonna be an atmosphere, I was a bitch last night.
Everyone's gonna hate us.
But before I get a chance to apologize we get interrupted.
[doorbell rings]
Are you fucking kidding me?
The fucking door?
What's this?
The doorbell rings.
What the fuck, is it Anna again?
Is this Anna?
No.
It's only bloody mother and father.
Oh my God, worst time to call mom and dad please.
I mean come on, I'm dying with a hang over, there's still a lad
upstairs who I've just been banging 20 minutes ago.
How are you?
You had a good night?
Ah, well...
Hung over?
Uh, absolutely.
Where is she?
She's upstairs.
Sophie?
Sophie, your mom and dad are in the kitchen.
No.
They just walked in, I swear to God.
Ding dong and then your dad was like, "My name's Ellis,
nice to meet you."
Hi.
[laughter]
So it wasn't the best fair for their first impression like
of what all, for Sophie's mom and dad.
What made it even worst, all the girls we got back last night
were Sophie's friends.
Hello!
I look like a tramp.
Oh my God.
And the guy that Sophie banged is still in the house.
So ashamed, like totally you could tell he
was a bit shamed of himself.
I don't know how hungry you are.
Pizza!
Sophie's dad's got an Italian restaurant so he bought loads
of pizzas and pastas and that for lunch like.
They are the best parents to come around when
you're hung over.
Like they're totally down to earth, they got,
dad's over the top.
Wow, look at her dad.
I fancy Sophie's dad.
We got Charlotte.
That's like me pooh partner.
Like we're twins and pooh together.
She goes up to her mum and she's like my friend,
actually that's my pooh partner.
That's who I take my poohs with.
I was just shocked.
I was like why is she saying to her mom.
If my mom was here I'd be like oh yeah I've done nothing other
than reading books.
I would not dare tell her what I've been doing, it's mental.
Holly, biggest fake tits in Middlesburg.
Massive.
Oh you're from Middlesburg?
Aye.
Oh.
We've got Gaz.
First night, threesome.
[laughter]
Now the surprise part is, I'm moving in as well.
Is there room for me?
[laughter]
No, no, no guest room.
I can't believe how cool me Dad's been about sex.
Sex is a no go area.
Sex is a swear word with my dad.
We don't talk about sex, I don't talk about boys,
we don't talk about kissing or anything like that.
I feel a bit guilty you know for me mom and dad
being in the house.
My dad's been so cool about sex.
At this moment in time, the year that's locked, it's on pause.
I'll look after your daughter, don't worry.
[music]
I've decided tonight, I'm gonna give my boyfriend Dan a call
and let him know exactly what happened with Gary.
I kissed someone on the first night.
Fucking who?
But um, yeah.
Who?
Just this, a random basically.
Like...
Where?
In the house.
In the hot tub.
It was basically, I had about 20 jagers and I was like lonely
as fuck, and I ended up kissing this lad.
God damnit.
You fuming?
Well yeah, obviously.
Obviously, yeah.
I'm sorry.
I am.
I love ya.
My relationship works with Dan because he is like very
accepting of the fact that I'm 18, I wanna go out and
have fun but yet he still wants to be with me.
So he's gotta give me my freedom but also he wants to be with me
at the same time.
And if he's letting me have my cake and eat it,
why should I stop?
You told him what?
And she comes like, booling in the room in a big,
she wants like, big Jeremy, Kyle, like moment.
She wants, she wants the drama, she wants the hype of
the situation, she wants all eyes on her straight off.
She's had a phone call with her boyfriend.
I just basically said, "I kissed someone on the first night."
And he was like, "What?"
And I was like, "I kissed someone on the first night."
And he was like, I was just like "Babe, I was like lonely
as fuck and I was like you know."
[laughter]
Lonely as hell on the first night.
We all know for a fine fact that Holly did more than just
attach on with Gary.
Birds remember.
She remembers what she did.
She's just embarrassed.
But you didn't just touch all of him did you?
I don't know what I did.
I think I felt his cock but like I don't remember.
[laughter]
I was just like, babe, I didn't wanna sit on the phone with him
and be like oh yeah man I wanked someone else off.
No, no, no, no!
[screaming]
Boom!
She's admitting it.
Am I a liar still?
No, no.
Holly dropped herself in it like she says but nothing happened
with her and Gaz.
But it did and after like days of denying it, calling Gaz
a liar and that, she just blew it loose.
I'm just pleased everyone knows now that I wasn't lying.
But one thing I would never lie about is girls.
Why would I have to lie about pulling Holly?
Holly's boyfriend, this just made him look like
a moog to be honest.
And she's making herself look stupid.
All I know is that he's like always been there for me.
Always like loves me at best.
To ruin that it would be an absolute shame.
You know, we'll have to see what happens.
We're all sitting down having a lovely tea,
like fajitas and everything.
Sophie and the lads have made it.
I'm really impressed.
And we all sit down and Gaz drops a bombshell.
Tonight we have a lot of after parties.
A lot of randoms back, birds, lads.
I think maybe just go get on that, like obviously some people
are feeling whatever.
Holly was upset yesterday.
I think it might be nice to just go out tonight, one big family,
come back, have a wicked paty.
It's all right for Gary and Jay, good go into your bungsly.
But see for me and James we were snooking outright.
Bunk off, Gary.
[laughter]
The game plan that night, I was thinking everyone goes out,
and no one comes back with anyone.
Charlotte's there, the guest room's there.
Obviously I was sucking up for sure.
Gary's creeping on Charlotte and I'll be surprised if she
doesn't succumb soon like.
We're walking through, looking like proper royalties.
Everyone's looking at us.
We look absolutely amazing.
The night's just begun.
We're in a great area you know, so we're getting
well looked after.
The music was great.
Drinks are flowing and we're having this great
family night out.
Me, James, Greg, dance floor, girls, rock necking on.
Everything, the drinks, the champagne was flowing.
Amazing night.
And I look around and everybody's got like a
person and I don't.
Like every time I go out there I feel like I'm cock blocking.
So I was like raged.
Absolutely mals.
I thought, I'm just gonna go out, hit the full club, and have
a dance with someone tonight.
So I got out, have a dance.
Find this like quite attractive lad, don't have a fucking clue
what his name was.
I started dancing with him and then he ends up kissing me.
So I, is it retaliate?
I didn't go out with the intention to do that but
the opportunity arose and I just went for it.
Like snugging up with some dude made me feel part of the group.
I did feel more included and like I was doing everything
that everybody else was doing.
She's got an agreement with her boyfriend where
they can kiss other people.
If that was my girlfriend I wouldn't be very happy like.
In a club grinding on someone, kissing them,
that's one weird relationship, I'll put it that way.
To be fair, it was fun, I enjoyed it, I don't regret it.
In the club everyone's having a midnight, everyone's dancing,
and I'm kicking back.
It's only a matter of time before I make a
move on Charlotte.
I am so sick of Gary thinking he's got Charlotte just
where he wants her.
And I know I promised I wasn't going to interfere but I am sick
of like biting my tongue.
I introduced her to the fittest guy in that club.
All it took for me was a couple of words,
a bit of an introduction.
Martin this is Charlotte, Charlotte this is Martin,
and they got it on like a house on fire.
There was no way I was gonna stand back and let some other
lad get in there with Charlotte.
So I just made sure that I was in there first.
Do you actually know who I was standing with in that club?
I remember that.
That absolutely amazing stunning boy.
I had him and then I wanted Gary.
Why, why when we're out, we'll both be at separate ends of the
club and it's like a magnet just pulls us together and smack.
It's not even like, it's not even like we'll just like
slightly come and kiss.
It's like bam!
I'm ripping his clothes off and he's ripping mine off.
Why does that happen?
That's it, Char's in the bag.
I'm gonna give her a night she'll never forget.
He's like a venus fly trap.
[makes trapping noises]
Like you get in and you're not getting out.
Do you know what I mean?
You're fucking stuck.
She's like hovering on the border of his jaws.
And if I could pull her back right now, I'd feel like I was
doing the girl a serious favor.
It's obvious nothings gonna happen between me and Vicky
tonight, so I found me self a stunning brunette and
I'm necking home with her.
I'm still raging about bringing back them lassies the other
night, now he feels the need to mugger off again.
Jay can do one like, he's not the only decent looking lad
in the club tonight.
If he wants to play it like that, I'll play him
at his own game.
A little bit of jealousy kicks in, I'm watching her drink,
and that's when it starts to kick off.
You've just been necking out with a lad.
You did it first.
You did it first, you're not answering me question.
You did it first.
How am I gonna do it first?
You did it first.
I watched you do it first.
I'm not fucking having it anymore, Jay.
If it's like I'm in a relationship and I'm getting
all the shit from the relationship without the
perks of a relationship and do you know what,
it's just kind of like starting to push me down.
It's probably starting to push Vicky down as well.
[music]
We're all back at the house, everyone's having fun.
A bit of crack on.
But Jay is still doing me head in.
We all agreed we're just gonna stay at the house tonight.
That's what we'd agreed.
The minute you got in that club, you tried to get
with someone else.
You wanna be the fucking same VIP as me, fucking kiss
another bird, fucking get with another bird right?
But when I do it it's wrong, and when you do it it's all right.
You have fucking lost your mind, Jay.
It's like there's so much sexual tension with Vicky and Jay.
It's like a light bulb, I don't know if they're off or on.
You've still not yet admitted that you kissed her first and
you've kissed other birds.
I bet you've kissed others.
I kissed her first.
All right then you're a dickhead and you've gotta get the
fuck out of my room.
Like just 'cause he's attached on with a couple of other birds
and that, and 'cause I'm not his world, doesn't mean I'm
gonna dig my heals in and be a stubborn mule
about the situation.
He's handsome and I'm still gonna like him.
We all know what Gary's like don't we?
He's a little sly job, trying to slide me in that trap
and all of that.
I'm having none of that.
No more, I swear.
Gaz is desperate for a little bit of action from Charlotte.
Gary doesn't feel very often like you can tell him I love.
So it is a bit pissing him off a little bit how like you can't
get yourself in there at all, so she's playing a little bit hard
to get, which is probably making him like her a little bit more.
Went into the kitchen, got a few drinks, went back in there,
Charlotte...
[snoring sound]
Passed out.
And I was like ugh.
Quickly try to wake her up.
Please Charlotte, please wake up.
She was having none of it.
Lifeless.
So for me, my whole game plan just went down the drain.
I was literally absolutely devastated.
Charlotte's playing the player and she looks like
she could be winning.
One-nill, Charlotte.
But you, you come here man, we're obviously attracted to
each other at full stop.
Are we or are we not?
So disappointed in me self.
Always said it would be a matter of time.
So Holly's boyfriend and her best friend come walking through
the door, my jaw practically hits the floor.
[Holly screams]
Baby!
I think the mission in me house is pretty much to bang Vicky.
I think we're making a massive mistake staying
in the same room.
I don't know if he's got it in him.
Really?
A massive mistake.
[Screaming]
Just let me go, let me go.
I've tried to be strong and I can't do it anymore.
[music]
[Captions provided by US Captioning Company]